Onahole Channel (Part 1) — Real vs. Fake

So long as it doesn't harm anyone else, whatever hobby a person keeps is nothing worth condemning.

Even if that hobby is pure otaku nonsense.

Even if it's something dazzlingly refined.

Even if it's so extravagantly gaudy it turns the stomach, or so pathetic it makes you wince.

The trouble is that little clause — so long as it doesn't harm anyone else — is maddeningly vague.

Hang it on an ear and it's an earring; hang it on a nose and it's a nose ring. Who draws the line?

What are you supposed to say when someone comes at you with, Just looking at your hobby disgusts me so much I've suffered psychological damage?

Which is why, if your hobby is the kind society shuns, you're better off keeping it buried.

But no matter how carefully you hide something, human effort has its limits. A single careless moment can blow open a secret you've spent years protecting. It's infuriating — and it happens all the time.

"Kyaaaaaaaaah!!!! What the hell is this? Are you completely insane? Why would you bring something like this to a boarding academy?!"

"N-no, I— I mean—"

To Yunjae's profound misfortune, that exact disaster had just landed squarely on him.

Clatter-roll-roll — a long silicone mold went tumbling across the floor.

Two pouch-like shapes hung from the lower end, so at a glance it almost looked like some artistic rendering of a man's cock. Flip it over, though, and the truth was obvious: it wasn't a cock at all. It was a replica of a woman's pussy.

An artificial onahole.

To every pussy-girl alive, it was the ancestral enemy — something to be despised and hated on principle.

※

The second the post went up, the comment flood hit — and Yunjae could only manage a bitter smile.

Fucking assholes. Of course you're lightning-fast when it's time to pile on.

"I know, you bitches. I know I did something stupid. Would it kill you to offer one word of comfort, you worthless shits."

Of course that was nonsense.

Expecting comfort from a community in the first place was not a wise move. Sure, some channels fostered that kind of atmosphere — but the Onahole Channel, where Yunjae spent most of his time, was not one of them.

And he'd all but announced that he was the protagonist of his own story. Might as well have gotten on his knees and begged them to roast him.

It was a thrashing attempt to neutralize the mental damage by turning his own pathetic situation into a joke.

"Tsk…"

How am I supposed to beg to get my onahole back?

No amount of racking his brain produced a clever answer. Half resigned already, Yunjae pushed open the door to the faculty office.

"You're here. Come in and sit down."

The academy instructor's voice was pure ice — so cold it seemed to freeze the floor solid. Standing upright and walking across it felt nearly impossible.

Sowol, the pussy-teacher, had always carried a somewhat chilly air that kept people at a distance. Right now, through Yunjae's eyes, she might as well have been a living ice sculpture. Get any closer and you'd catch frostbite.

Granted, Yunjae had been called in because he was a hundred percent in the wrong. Still — she was a teacher, wasn't she? Was it really necessary to look at a student with that much open contempt?

…Not that he had the courage to protest out loud.

Honestly, no one would have.

"Let me confirm. You know why you've been summoned here, don't you?"

"…Uh, um… I b-brought an onahole onto academy grounds."

Sowol corrected him with crisp, deliberate enunciation.

"A silicone onahole. Make the distinction properly. If you'd been using a living onahole, I wouldn't have called you in at all. You may also call it a counterfeit. A fake onahole."

Just having those words in her mouth seemed to disgust her; the crease between her brows deepened.

"What on earth possessed you to bring that monstrosity onto academy grounds? I'll give you a chance to explain yourself."

His mouth went bone-dry.

An exaggerated terror settled over him like truth itself — the sense that one wrong word could socially erase him on the spot.

"Uh, uh… look, I mean. There's no separate rule that says you can't bring in a silicone onahole, right? So I just…"

"Our academy rules also don't forbid murder. Are you ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠about to tell me that means you're free to kill people here?"

"Come on, that's a pretty extreme leap, isn't it?"

Besides, that's not even an academy issue — national law bans it pretty firmly.

"What's written in the regulations isn't the whole of it. Do you have any idea how much chaos your little stunt has caused at this academy?"

"No, well… I mean, it's not like I don't know."

The loathing pussy-girls felt toward counterfeit onaholes ran deeper than any man had any right to measure. Day after day, pussy members of the National Assembly thundered about onahole regulation. The more moderate ones argued that ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠onaholes should be permitted only for people with disabilities. The more radical ones insisted that if disabled men's sexual needs were the issue, the government should simply implement a door-to-door live-pussy onahole service — silicone onaholes were unnecessary. Male pushback had managed to hold the legal compromise at crushing taxation, more or less.

But as everyone knows, there's a wide gulf between what's legal and what's socially tolerated.

"Look, uh. I'm a guy in his prime, you know? I need somewhere to put the urge, so to speak."

"And you call that an excuse?!"

Sowol's roar made his heart clench. He'd known it wouldn't land. Still.

"You need to deal with your sex drive? Then grab any pussy-girl nearby and have her handle it! Every pussy at this academy is ready to process a cock's lust at any time! Look at this!"

She flipped up her skirt and put her soaked cunt on full display, dripping with her own juices.

"Just having a man — you — this close is enough to put my dripping pussy in heat and make my womb clench! If you needed relief, one word to me would have been enough. And yet you didn't!"

"Y-y-yes! Th-that's right."

"Not using my pussy is fine. Frankly I spend every night so worked up I finger myself till dawn, but choosing which pussy to use is a man's birthright. But you didn't even go to another pussy — you used a cheap silicone onahole to get off? Do you take pussy that lightly?!"

Under Sowol's tirade, Yunjae found himself folding his hands in front of him without thinking, thoroughly cowed. Even so, he still had to justify himself somehow. Even if the logic was doomed from the start.

"L-look… even so! A silicone onahole has a flavor all its own, okay?!"

"What did you just say?"

"L-look. An onahole fits right in one hand like this, right? You can pull it out and use it whenever it's convenient. Your own preferred onahole, ready anytime. That's something an ordinary pussy just can't do."

"……"

"A-and also? Because you're holding it in your hand, controlling the speed and how hard it squeezes is way simpler. Ah — I'm not saying ordinary pussies are worse than onaholes, okay? Pussies have their own strengths."

He'd talked a long time to say something simple.

Silicone onaholes had a silicone onahole kind of pleasure. Live pussy-onaholes had a live pussy kind of pleasure. Different territories — so why did they have to compete and snarl at each ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠other? That was Yunjae's thesis.

And of course — it landed nowhere.

"You really are selfish."

"Huh? Me? Selfish?"

"Absolutely. If you'd simply had no interest in pussy and stuck to jerking off by hand, we pussies would have swallowed our bloody tears and accepted it as a man's choice. But to go and manufacture a degraded knockoff of us and play with that? If that isn't a desecration of pussy, what is it?"

It was the exact same logic he'd once heard from a pussy assemblywoman on the news. Sure enough — there was a fundamental gap in perception between men and pussy. No matter how hard men tried not to see it that way, women genuinely understood silicone onaholes as their rivals.

"I was going to let this go with a lecture, but it seems I have no choice."

"W-wait — you're not about to kick me out of the academy…"

"No. As you said yourself, there's no such rule. Therefore I have no authority to expel you. Frankly, I don't want to either. That would be far too irresponsible. I have a duty to properly guide you — if I just throw you out, all I've done is add one more man to the world with zero sense of responsibility toward pussy."

Sowol might not have the power to expel Yunjae, but she did have the authority to administer additional discipline as needed. And that little phrase — as needed — stretched and shrank like a rubber band.

"First, I'm going to teach you the pleasure of using a real pussy. Frankly you should have known this ages ago… and yet here I am, having to start from scratch with a man your age."

"…No, uh, it's ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠not that I don't know how to enjoy pussy—"

"No more talking. Follow me to my room!"

…As expected, conversation had been useless.

People on the majority side always measured minorities by their own standards — and then tried to "improve" them. It was maddening, but what could you do? Pushing back against the majority only made life harder for the minority.

Tsk… Whatever. It's not like it'll be anything special. I'll play along just enough, get my onahole back, and be done with it.