Medetashi... Trembling Shoulders and Empty Eyes
Medetashi, medetashi.
Choi Seori's trembling shoulders shed the jacket I'd draped over her, letting it slip away smoothly. Only then did she snap back to reality, hurriedly pulling her clothes back on. Her shaking hands fumbled with the buttons, zipped up the fly, and tugged the collar straight—like someone fleeing from a pursuer. Or maybe she really was being chased. By the fear that I might change my mind at any moment and cast her out.
The moment I confirmed she was dressed, I turned my gaze to the front door handle. In the awkward silence, only the rustle of fabric and the whir of the zipper filled the room.
A moment later, Choi Seori and I sat facing each other on the living room floor. Well, calling it a living room was a stretch in this cramped one-room apartment. But compared to the shocking, horrifying scene at the door just minutes ago—the naked Choi Seori crawling toward me like a dog—this was paradise enough. It even felt like I'd barely escaped the pits of hell with my life.
Was she only now realizing the insane stunt she'd pulled? Choi Seori sat with her knees together, head bowed, fidgeting with her hands. I leaned back against the wall, facing her. I figured it'd be a long talk, but surprisingly, it wasn't. Silence was all that flowed between us.
What the hell do I even say?
There was so much to say, yet nothing I wanted to. Just this afternoon, I was Choi Seori's subordinate, and she was my boss and employer—a relationship with an overwhelming power imbalance. She'd exploited that for all sorts of abuse and harassment, and up until yesterday, Han Minseo had no choice but to take it.
More like he struggled but let it happen, really.
But now? Neither boss nor subordinate. Not friends or lovers, either. University seniors and juniors? That was ancient history. So what the hell were we right now? A weird woman and an otherworlder?
"Um, first off..."
I spoke first, not her.
"Seori sunbae, can I ask how you got into my place?"
"Ah..."
She flinched at my question. After hesitating for a moment, she reached into her pocket and placed something in front of me.
"This is..."
A small, worn keychain with a set of keys. A cheap plastic university-logo souvenir. I rummaged through Han Minseo's memories, but it rang no bells.
"What's this?"
"Something you lost."
Her reply was barely a whisper.
"You left it in the clubroom. I've kept it ever since."
So she'd been cherishing a key to someone else's house all this time. A chill ran down my spine.
"Why... my house key?"
"I don't know. Sorry. I just... having something of yours made it feel like a part of you was with me. I wanted to keep it that way. I still carry it everywhere."
"I... see."
"Yeah."
Our forced conversation fizzled out quickly.
Ugh... this is awkward as hell.
It really was a bizarre situation. Just hours ago, we'd been hurling insults and charging at each other head-on. Now we were tiptoeing around each other like strangers. Or in a way, we really were meeting for the first time. The maskless Choi Seori, and me—Han Minseo, yet not quite.
"Minseo."
"Yeah?"
"Did you... really forgive me?"
She lifted her head cautiously, eyes still puffy and anxious, shaking.
Forgive? Do I even have the right to forgive her?
She'd tormented the old Han Minseo, not me. But I had all his memories intact. His pain felt like my own sometimes, flashing in my mind. The self comes from memories and experiences, and I'd inherited all of his. So wasn't I Han Minseo? On the flip side, I just possessed his memories—I wasn't their true owner.
...Hmm.
After careful thought, my conclusion was: I had no idea.
"I'm not sure. Honestly, I don't know yet. But... I think I get why you did it. I just never imagined you'd go this far."
A tangle of emotions crossed her face—relief and anxiety, regret and hope.
"I didn't know I'd stoop that low, either."
She gave a self-deprecating laugh.
"The moment I saw your back as you left the building, it felt like everything was over. I had to turn it around somehow... whatever it took."
"So you came here naked and did the dog thing first?"
"Yeah."
Haa...
A sigh escaped inwardly. How was I supposed to process this "naked dog-crawl" incident? No easy answers. But one thing was clear: we couldn't stay like this. We couldn't keep up this uncomfortable standoff forever.
Today had been too much. I was exhausted, sleepy. It was getting late—I just wanted to crash into bed.
So—
"Seori sunbae."
"Yeah?"
"For today... go home. We both need time to think."
Her face drained of color in an instant.
"W-what do you—"
"We'll talk tomorrow. We're both too emotional right now, right?"
"But..."
"Please. I'm begging you."
My voice carried weight. She shut her mouth. After a long hesitation, she finally stood slowly.
"Okay. I'll go."
Her back as she headed to the door looked somehow lonely. Maybe because even after crawling naked and begging on her knees in that insane display, she still couldn't win me back completely.
Right before opening the door, she turned to look at me. Her eyes were so utterly vacant, cold sweat prickled my skin.
……………
I shouldn't let her go right now... something feels off.
A bad vibe. Not about my future, but hers. In that split-second glimpse, a creeping anxiety swelled into roaring flames. It shifted to worry for her.
Worst-case scenarios flooded my mind. What if she wandered the night streets in a daze and ran into thugs? Or crossed an eight-lane road without looking?
No way that'd happen.
But the horrific imaginings wouldn't stop. Tomorrow morning, opening the president's office door to a noose from the ceiling, a kicked-over chair, and Choi Seori dangling...
Crazy.
My heart pounded. This wasn't just imagination. Too specific, too plausible. Absurd, yet my mind insisted it felt real, fueling the dread.
I'm worrying way too much. Why the hell am I like this?
The answer was obvious: Han Minseo. It had to be his emotions. In my previous life, I wasn't this fretful, didn't care this much about others.
Han Minseo... what a pathetic, pushover idiot.
After all that brutal abuse from her, the moment she showed a sliver of weakness, he fretted like this. Just let her go. See her tomorrow. I'd already said we needed time to sort our heads after today's exhaustion.
But the anxiety kept growing. Like watching a baby dangling from a cliff right in front of me, or an AC spewing smoke with the plug still in.
Just one word. One word, and it's done... No, hold back. Hold it together, Han Minseo.
She glanced back briefly, then turned to the doorknob as she prepared to leave.
That moment—
"Uh, Seori sunbae."
The words slipped out unbidden.
She stopped. Turned slowly to face me. A faint light flickered in her eyes.
"Tomorrow..."
What to say? What would kill this hellish, grating anxiety? Stay with me? Don't go? No, that was too much. We weren't lovers.
"I'll come in a bit late tomorrow. I'm wiped out today."
Regret hit instantly. Too late. She stared blankly. Seemed like she didn't process it at first.
One second, two, three. Her expression shifted. Life returned to those vacant eyes. Then something welled in the corners—clear and warm.
"Yeah."
A short reply, laced with tears.