Dilemma Either Way
Dilemma either way. …………… I signed the discharge papers. When the nurse handed me the bag of medications, it felt unnaturally heavy. Heart pills, sedatives, and a bunch of other tablets whose names I didn't even know.
That's right. These were the drugs that Yeoreum had been using with every ounce of her conscious and unconscious mind just to draw attention. It had been that way even before I became her. Yeoreum truly hated her heart condition—she wanted to forget it, ignore it completely. And the karma of that indifference had come back to bite me. Acute cardiac arrest, a body weakened from neglect, and now an even higher dosage of meds.
"Didn't your guardian come?" The nurse had probably asked without thinking much of it. But to Yeoreum, it was a brutally cruel question. She was an orphan, after all. Me? I didn't care much.
"No. I can go home on my own."
The nurse tilted her head curiously but didn't press further. As I left the room, I glanced back. The white room where I'd stayed for three days. A private room, no less—expensive. At least Yeoreum had insurance; that was a small mercy.
She hated thinking about her heart but made sure to get insurance... Is that smart or what?
Anyway. I'd been hospitalized for three days, and not a single visitor had come. Yeoreum was a loner to begin with, so there weren't many people who might show up, but Kim Bom's absence was surprising. She hadn't even sent a single message or made a call.
I walked down the empty hallway toward the elevator. The hospital's signature disinfectant smell stung my nose.
The doctor had asked how I'd collapsed. To that, I'd—
—brushed it off as a seizure from creative stress.
The doctor had looked skeptical, but when I clammed up, he didn't push. Of course, he might have noticed the finger marks on my neck. No, he definitely did. But what could a doctor do when the victim himself stayed silent?
Huhaeri was a small village with few people—maybe that's why, or perhaps the doctor reported it—but a cop showed up claiming to be from the local station. I fed him the same lie, of course.
I took the bus back to Huhaeri. Got off at the stop and climbed the hill. My heart beat a little faster, but walking slowly made it bearable.
I arrived home. The unoiled iron gate creaked as I pushed it open.
……………
The house was exactly as I'd left it—before I'd gone to Kim Bom's place, gotten attacked, and ended up in the hospital.
One slipper lay discarded in the yard. The kitchen sink held dishes half-soaked in water, mid-wash. I sat on the porch. Far off, rice paddies stretched out. Green stalks swayed in the breeze. Peaceful rural scenery.
Yeah... it must have hit her hard.
Kim Bom had gone completely radio silent. I could guess what that meant. She'd nearly killed someone with her own hands. Me, whom she saw as the reincarnation of her very special... 'dad.'
No matter if it was a momentary emotional explosion, no matter if I'd half-provoked her mental breakdown and rampage. Whatever the reason, what Kim Bom had done was unforgivable. So right now, she was probably drowning in horrific guilt. Too ashamed to show up at the hospital. Too guilty to send a message or make a call.
"Sigh... what now."
I'd roughly sorted out the past in my head; now it was time to worry about the future.
"Hmm..."
My mind grew tangled. The house felt so oppressively quiet alone. The second hand on the wall clock ticked loudly in my ears. Even distant dog barks and rustling leaves in the wind grated on me.
Either way, I have to choose. Can't avoid it forever.
What to do about my relationship with Kim Bom. That was the crux.
She definitely liked me. Her actions from our first meeting onward proved it. Bringing rice cakes on day one, sharing her home and shrine space, brewing tea daily and often treating me to meals, lying about me being her boyfriend at the market. On the surface, she was the ideal rural neighbor girl. Sweet personality, sweet face, sweet figure... ahem, sweet everything.
Especially the last one's really sweet.
But. There was one massive problem. One I couldn't overlook.
Her affection wasn't normal.
Kim Bom believed I was the reincarnation of her dead father. No, "believed" was too weak—she was convinced. Same soul, name as proof, shared heart condition, and all that.
It would have been fine as a joke, but it wasn't. This was deadly serious.
Fine, I get the reincarnation claim. I neither agreed nor believed it, obviously. If she'd kept it to herself, I'd have just thought, She's got some weird beliefs.
But Kim Bom didn't stop there. She called me "Dad," treated me like her father returned to life. My memory loss? She chalked it up to the reincarnation process.
"Reincarnation's reincarnation—why treat me like the same person... geez."
It was an incredibly awkward situation. So I needed drastic measures, some decision and action to resolve it.
The first option that popped into my head—run.
Leave this rural spot, Huhaeri. Back to Seoul, or another city... Incheon, Daejeon, Busan. If not, hole up in some other village. Just physically separate from Kim Bom. Create distance.
The emoticon gig had worked out; money worries were off the table for a while. Find a cheap studio apartment and live quietly.
I tried something similar as Han Minseo and failed, though.
In the first world, I'd secretly job-hunted to escape Choi Seori. Result? She found out immediately. Tighter surveillance and control followed. Our already-fragile normal-ish relationship twisted completely. I couldn't take it, quit on the spot, shook off her clinging, and demanded a breakup. Then Choi Seori hit me with a 3 billion won lawsuit and ruined me.
Lost everything and ended up homeless.
But Kim Bom wasn't like Choi Seori. She had no money, power, or social status for that. No 3 billion won lawsuits from her.
Could a rural shaman like Kim Bom track down and find me if I fled and hid?
...She could.
Korea is small. A quick internet search pulls up most info. Private detectives and shady channels abound. Summing up: Tracking down Yeoreum, emoticon artist with a distinct look, wouldn't be hard.
Running wasn't the answer. It just delayed the catastrophe by days, weeks, maybe months at best.
I sighed. "Then what? Hmm."
Sitting in the same spot brooding made my throat dry and back ache. I fetched a glass of water from the kitchen and drank. The cold liquid refreshed me, easing the negative thoughts a bit.
"...Wait... hold on. Something's off. Why would Kim Bom chase me? She's too guilt-ridden to even contact me."
True. Her delusion was real, and her freakout when it shattered was undeniable. But that didn't make her a remorseless destroyer like Choi Seori.
Kim Bom had mental issues, sure. But most people in modern society carry some kind of baggage.
So... just stay?
Yeah. Stay. That was option two.
More precisely—reform her.
Everyone deserves a second chance. Stay by Kim Bom's side, turn her slightly off-kilter affection into something normal.
I wasn't some teacher preaching vanilla love. Just stick around, heal her wounds, gently nudge her toward reality.
Kim Bom was a good person at heart. And I was a guy—I naturally felt some attraction.
So embrace the already-liking Kim Bom, this wounded soul, and move forward together. A happy ending with her.
Positive thinking lifted my spirits a bit. But I couldn't stay optimistic forever. Reality crashed back in.
"...But is that even possible?"
Trauma from abetting her father's death as a child. Kim Bom's damage ran deep and solid. Could I really change one person?
What if she snapped again like today and choked me? I might actually die next time. At least returning to that cafe wasn't total soul erasure...
The Family Goddess said it, right? My resurrections aren't infinite.
Repeat death and revival too much, and the soul gives out eventually.
"Haa... what now."
Fleeing just postponed ruin; reforming her meant death lurking nearby.
While I agonized, the sun began to set. Long shadows stretched across the yard. In the end, I failed to reach a conclusion this time too.