I'm Trash!
I'm not some prodigy human... I'm trash!
………… That entire day, I couldn't get any work done. I just stared blankly at my monitor, made excuses about grabbing coffee to head up to the rooftop and gaze at the sky, and couldn't even finish half my lunch before setting down my chopsticks.
Only one thing lingered in my mind, refusing to leave.
That tiny dot in the ultrasound image. Growing inside Yeom Hana's belly. My baby.
"Senior, are you feeling okay?"
"I'm fine. Just a bit tired."
When Lee Jin-ah asked with a worried look, I just nodded vaguely and brushed it off. Of course, she wasn't the type to buy it outright.
After work, at Lee Jin-ah's place. She glanced at me sideways as I slumped on the sofa like my soul had fled my body.
"Senior, what happened today?"
I was about to say nothing, but changed my mind. Lying wouldn't help. She was too sharp for that. And besides, I wasn't in any state to put on a convincing act right now.
More than anything...
This was something I had to tell her eventually. The longer I put it off, the worse it would get.
"Senior, you know that, right?"
"What?"
"Your face looks seriously weird right now? If you're sick, go to the hospital. Don't just suffer in silence."
Hospital. The word linked straight to the ultrasound in my head.
"……Senior?"
I couldn't even respond properly. Lee Jin-ah looked at me with growing concern. She pressed her hand to my forehead, probably checking for a fever.
……Fuck.
Even to a girl this kind—despite her scary side—I had to confess.
That I'd gotten another woman pregnant.
But I couldn't delay it anymore. If not now, I'd never say it.
"……Jin-ah."
"Yes?"
"I'm sorry."
An apology out of nowhere. I really felt like uttering trash, but I couldn't help it.
"……What for?"
"I have something to tell you."
I saw her hand twitch slightly.
"There's... another woman I've been seeing."
"……."
"And—"
This was truly horrific. It was basically like committing seppuku.
But I had to say it.
"She got pregnant."
Silence descended. The TV noise filling the living room, our breathing—everything got sucked into a vacuum in an instant.
How many seconds passed like that?
"……Ha."
Lee Jin-ah laughed.
"Senior, that joke's not funny at all."
A smirk crossed her face. But her eyes weren't smiling.
"Were you acting drained all day just to surprise me? Cut it out. It's bad for my heart."
"Jin-ah—"
"This isn't some trashy drama from the old days. Cheating and knocking someone up? Haha. Seriously, not funny."
"………."
Her forced smile faded bit by bit. Her gaze locked onto my face.
My expression didn't budge an inch.
The corners of her mouth slowly drooped.
"……Senior?"
"Yeah."
"You're joking, right?"
I couldn't answer. Color drained from her face.
"Senior, say it's a joke."
"……I'm really sorry. I got nothing to say."
The room's temperature plummeted.
"……Do you have proof it's real?"
I pulled out my phone. The ultrasound Yeom Hana had sent. A faint white dot floating against a black background.
I held it out to her. Her eyes scanned the screen.
"Haha……it's real, huh."
A sound that could have been a laugh or a sigh escaped her.
"Yeom Hana, right?"
"Yeah, how did you—"
"You thought I wouldn't know?"
Her voice carried more contempt—or disgust—than anger.
"That slutty thug bitch... I had a bad feeling from the start. She seduced you, Senior."
"Seduced?"
"Oh, come on, Senior. I told you—she's a gold digger. Dump her quick! Why'd you keep seeing her? Messing with trash like that always backfires. Even if she throws herself at you for free, don't touch it."
Raw hatred poured out toward Yeom Hana. I couldn't stand it anymore and spoke up.
"No, this is my fault. I wasn't careful—"
"No!"
Lee Jin-ah cut me off sharply.
"You got played, Senior. She targeted you on purpose. Bet she got you drunk and jumped you, right? Obvious. Lied about birth control, skipped the condom too. Classic move."
Her eyes gleamed with a strange conviction. She was turning me from the bad guy into the victim.
So she could keep justifying her love for this man named Han Kang.
Amid the nonstop barrage of insults at Yeom Hana, I'd become the innocent, careless middle-aged guy who'd fallen for a gold digger's pregnancy trap.
"So, how far along?"
"……Six weeks."
"Six weeks?"
Her expression brightened a touch.
"Six weeks means there's still time. Good."
"Good……?"
"Before twelve weeks, pills work fine. No surgery, clean and simple."
"……What the hell."
"Just shove some money at her. A few million won should do it. Then cut her off completely. No more contact. Done. Neat, right?"
Such a cold solution. More like an order directed at me.
"Senior, don't stress. At six weeks, it doesn't even have brain function. Not a person."
Lee Jin-ah stared straight into my eyes.
"Abort now, and it's like nothing happened. Clean slate, I promise."
"You……."
Suddenly, she grabbed my hand and stroked the back of it.
"Senior, is it guilt? No need. It was an accident. Like stepping in shit. Just wash it off. Best for you, me, and that bitch."
A devilish whisper of a suggestion. I licked my dry lips to argue.
"……Jin-ah. I'm going to take responsibility—"
Before I could finish, her palm clamped over my mouth.
"Don't say another word."
She leaned in close, her face inches from mine. Eyes wide with terror. Whites bloodshot with veins.
Eyes I'd never seen, even after five possessions.
"You're not thinking of letting her have it, are you?"
"………."
"Your baby should come from me. Not that gold digger bitch."
Her palm smelled of sweat. Or maybe iron.
"Senior, you get how bad this is, right?"
"No, I have a plan."
"Plan my ass! The second that thing's born, your life's over!"
She bellowed at three times her usual volume.
"Company'll crucify you! I'm done with you! Socially dead! Office romance turning into premarital pregnancy? You think you can keep your job!?"
A threat. Barefaced blackmail, no longer even hidden.
If I went against her, she'd spread the rumors herself. A declaration of war.
Panting, she caught her breath.
"Senior, we're bound to each other, right? Just missing the marriage stamp—we're already one. Can't bring home defective goods now, can you?"
I had no reply. She yanked my tie.
"Wipe out that blood clot and stay with me, or get everything exposed—job, everything gone. Choose wisely, Senior. Right now, I feel like I could do anything. For revenge."
This wasn't bluffing. It was obvious to anyone.
If she went all out for payback, what then?
The worst-case scenario played out in my head.
Rumors wouldn't be the end. Tips to forums, SNS, trashy media.
If that happens…….
Dishonorable discharge. Disciplinary firing. Social burial.
All too possible futures.
My vision went dark.
…………
My feet stopped at the front door.
Beep, beep, beep, beep. The cheerful electronic chime unlocked it, but I stood there gripping the handle for ages.
The hallway sensor light flickered on and off. Under its glow, my shadow stretched long across the floor.
Like the silhouette of a condemned man awaiting the noose.
Opening this door meant facing another courtroom.
After Lee Jin-ah's first-trial verdict, now Han Sol's second hearing.
And right now, I didn't even have the energy to appeal.
"Hoo……."
I had to go in. I knew that. Running wouldn't solve a thing.
Finally, I turned the handle.
A rush of warmth hit me. Followed by a spicy-sweet aroma teasing my nose.
"Ah, Dad. You're home?"
Han Sol hurried out from the kitchen, apron on, spoon in hand, smiling.
"You said to meet at your place for dinner, so I showed off my skills a bit."
She pointed to the table. Steaming aged kimchi jjim—the dish I'd once mentioned craving while watching a lonely glutton show. Beside it, a bowl of fresh rice and neatly set utensils.
"I waited without eating, so we could have it together when you got here."
Han Sol beamed innocently and pulled out a chair. Seeing that, I—
Felt my stomach twist in real time.
Fresh off getting skinned alive by Lee Jin-ah. My insides were already shredded, yet here was my daughter, waiting with a lovingly prepared dinner.
This peaceful domestic scene would shatter with one sentence from my mouth.
The thought was unbearable.
But I had to say it. Hiding it forever was impossible. A decision had to come eventually, and delaying only made it worse.
I sat at the table. Han Sol took the seat across.
She scooped kimchi jjim into my bowl, smiling nonstop.
"Eat up. If it's too salty, let me know. I'll adjust."
"……Hoo."
"Dad?"
I picked up my spoon but couldn't bring it to my mouth.
"Sol-ah."
"Yes?"
"I have something to say."
Sensing the weight in my voice, her smile dimmed a little.
"Did... something happen?"
"Yeah."
I swallowed dryly. My throat scraped like sandpaper.
"Dad... made a mistake."
Her eyes scanned my face, trying to read if it was a lie or truth.
That gaze was too piercing; I had to bow my head.
"Besides Jin-ah... Dad was seeing another woman."
"……."
"And I got her pregnant."
Clang.
The spoon slipped from Han Sol's hand and hit the table.