Ignorance is Bliss
"Ignorance is bliss, they say." ……………
I cracked the password, and the screen lit up as the document opened. It was formatted like a log, organized meticulously by date, year, month, and day. It looked like a long-term research record of observing something—or rather, someone. And that someone was undoubtedly Han Minseo.
Ignoring the intense unease gnawing at me, I scrolled down with trembling hands.
The oldest entry in the log dated back to... my university days, when Seori sunbae and I first met.
……………
He woke me up. He saved me. You could say he even gave birth to me. Because the me before that day and after are different people.
The feel of the hand that grabbed me right before my consciousness faded—that was the beginning of everything.
His ragged breathing as he ran to the infirmary, the arms that held me tight as if afraid I'd fall.
When I woke, he was still by my side. In that moment, I knew: this man would become my entire world.
What the hell...?
I'd known that day was important to Seori sunbae. But I had no idea it meant this much to her.
I kept reading. The next entries were a bit later.
Today, I saw a female named Park Seoyeon. He smiled at her.
It put me in a bad mood. A new kind of displeasure I've never felt before. It surges up every time he talks to other females.
It's torment. Unbearable. I can't live with this agony forever.
Park Seoyeon ate lunch with him. Just the two of them.
They sat in the corner of the student cafeteria, whispering and laughing. This... I can't tolerate it anymore.
Using people costs a lot of effort. But it paid off. Investigation on the female Park Seoyeon complete.
Student loans, family financial troubles from her father's business failure. This info will come in handy someday.
Or... I could use it right now to pry that female away from him.
"This is..."
My hand stopped on its own. Back in university, Park Seoyeon—the girl I'd been flirting with—had suddenly started avoiding me. Could it be...?
Keep reading for now. I need to get through as much of this document as possible.
Seori sunbae said she'd be back in about an hour. Since she said it herself, she'd stick to the time unless something major went wrong.
I scrolled further. Entries from graduation season appeared.
He's failing job hunts left and right. Good. The fact that others don't see his value is my luck.
There were a few close calls in between. But I pulled strings each time and blocked them.
The HR managers at the companies he applied to are all acquaintances a degree or two away. They can't refuse my requests.
In the end, he joined my company. Now he's mine. My possession. I'll keep him safe, where my eyes can reach.
Possession?
That word lodged in my brain. Even if you love someone, calling them a possession? Blocking him from getting close to Park Seoyeon was one thing, but this crossed the line.
I scrolled more. Time passed, and post-employment entries showed up.
Bullying him hurts my heart. Seeing his pained expression hurts me too.
I chew him out under the guise of code reviews, make him work overtime, embarrass him. Each time, I watch the light fade a little from his eyes. My heart tears with his.
But I have to do this. There's a valid reason why I must.
Lunchtime. I saw him laughing and chatting with other female employees... females. That university displeasure returned in an instant.
No, not quite. This was far more intense than back then—emotions crossing like never before.
That feeling... anger, irritation, betrayal, jealousy, disgust. Too many to describe.
Better to keep him at the company until dawn. Better for him to suffer by my side.
Yes. That's far more beneficial for both of us.
So today, I called him in and nitpicked again. I have to make sure he doesn't spare even a fingernail's worth of attention for other females.
Um...
I was at a loss for words. This was way too much, wasn't it? Anyway, time was short now. I reined in my emotions and moved to the next entry.
I went too far. He left. I have to bring him back. Otherwise, everything ends.
I decided to throw away everything—my pride, my face, all of it. As long as he comes back, I don't care.
I waited naked at his apartment door. Knelt, prostrated, begged forgiveness. Pleaded. Crawled on the floor and grabbed his pant leg. Even I think it was pathetic.
...In the end, we barely patched things up. He forgave me.
But honestly, I wanted him to lose control and ravage me. Getting pregnant would have been perfect.
Then... he'd never be able to leave my side forever.
But he didn't. He stayed kind to the end. That's what makes it so hard.
"This... this is really..."
My breath caught. I checked the laptop's scrollbar. There was still more to read.
Patched up. We're starting over. This time, do it right. No failures allowed.
For him, I created a new position. Direct report to the CEO, communicating only with me.
Now he won't get tangled with other employees, especially females. Perfect.
I raised his salary 50%. Gave him his own office right next to mine. All glass walls, so I can see him anytime. Nice.
Lately, he smiles a lot. Seeing his smile makes me happy too. Should've done this sooner.
But his lifestyle is a mess. Skips proper meals, irregular sleep, fridge full of beer and junk food. Worried he'll collapse like I did in the past.
Of course I have to manage him. Everything—meals, sleep, health, relationships. All of it.
Started making him dinner every night. Cleaned his fridge. Threw out all the booze and high-fructose stuff. He was flustered at first, but he's used to it now. Good sign.
My chest felt strangely tight. These were actions that crossed every line. But underneath, there was worry and affection for me. Deeply distorted, of course.
The females who stole his university days from me. Among them, the most hated one, Park Seoyeon.
Can't tolerate it. Responded immediately.
Park Seoyeon's weaknesses were still valid. The others weren't hard either. Phase 1 physical isolation successful.
But...
Got too excited about achieving the goal and made a stupid mistake—sent a dumb message.
"Must've been boring hanging out with just guys," or whatever.
He hadn't said anything yet. A mistake I'd never make normally, and to him of all people.
He started suspecting. Asked via message how I knew.
Excuse worked. But I need to reflect. Couldn't control my emotions.
Have to protect him from danger. From now on, more perfectly. Whether it's other females, bad habits, whatever.
……………
"...Hoo."
Only after finishing the log did I realize my back was soaked with cold sweat.
Pretty... serious. Terminal case.
Seori sunbae had harbored feelings for the old me—Han Minseo—for a long time. And she'd been deeply involved in his misfortunes.
But strangely, I didn't feel the hatred or fear I'd expected. Reading her log revealed how lonely and unstable she was beneath the surface.
A person terrified of losing me, convinced she couldn't live without me. It was hard to blindly hate or despise her.
No bad feelings welled up, really.
The previous life's me wasn't this much of a pushover. Did Han Minseo's nature rub off on me?
Right then—
Beep, beep, beep, beep.
The electronic chime of the front door lock disengaging rang out. Seori sunbae was back.
She'd returned a bit earlier than the hour she'd mentioned.
Of all days, today.
Stay calm, stay calm.
I steadied my chaotic mind and moved my fingers like lightning. First, closed the open document file. Then, recent usage history. Found the recent files list in the menu and erased traces of HMS_Analysis.docx.
Luckily, I'd only opened that one document and touched nothing else.
I picked up the laptop and returned it to its exact spot. Even adjusted the angle—parallel to the sofa cushion, screen slightly ajar. Precisely as she'd left it.
Grabbed the tablet and sat on the sofa, assuming the relaxed pose I'd had before she left the room.
Natural, like always.
I chanted inwardly, staring at the screen. Naturally, not a word registered.
"Minseo-ya, I'm back."
Seori sunbae's voice came. Compared to when she'd left, she sounded exhausted.
I turned my head to look at her, as naturally as possible—like I hadn't seen a thing.
"Already back? Did the work go okay?"
I spoke, praying my voice wouldn't shake.
"Yeah, it wrapped up easier than expected. The server management team handled most of it."
She entered the living room. And—her gaze shifted to her own laptop.