Embarrassment Is All Mine
At some point my eyes snapped open on their own and my sleep-fogged mind returned to full awareness. It was an unbreakable habit after years of early-morning training under my master and then drilling the same discipline into my disciples. But this wasn’t my own house, and there were no disciples here who needed training. I had finally planned to indulge in a proper lie-in, stretching luxuriously across the bed.
Then—bang, bang, bang!—a racket erupted at the crack of dawn, followed by someone hammering on the front gate.
“Excuse us! Hero of Magic! Could you please come out for a moment?”
“We are emissaries from the royal palace!”
“We bear His Majesty’s command, so we humbly ask you to open the door!”
Those bastards—if you’re going to show up, at least have the decency to wait until a civilized hour. Damn it, what the hell is with this nonsense first thing in the morning?
The palace would have been monitoring our every move. They definitely knew the heroes who had entered the royal capital were staying here. Three publicly known heroes gathered in one place, plus their master, and they still had the gall to barge in so arrogantly at dawn.
I sat by the window to watch how the situation would unfold. Soon the gate opened and someone stepped forward to meet the knights. It wasn’t Daisy, the owner of the house, but Gerard.
“Everyone, please be quiet. It is still very early in the morning and the others are fast asleep.”
“The Guardian Hero!”
“Holy Warrior, it is an honor to meet you in person.”
“Enough with the greetings. Why exactly have you come?”
“Ah, the truth is His Majesty issued a new decree just moments ago. He asked whether you might find the time to visit the palace once more. The heroes as well… and their master.”
The instant the knights spoke, I felt it clearly. Gerard always wore a gentle, friendly smile, but right now he made no effort to hide his intense displeasure.
The knights seemed to sense it too. They fell silent, lowered their heads, and began nervously glancing at one another.
Royal knights were supposed to have both skill and backbone, yet they couldn’t even talk back when Gerard glared at them. It was almost comical.
“We are not His Majesty’s subjects. Correct?”
“Y-yes, that is correct.”
“Furthermore, Master already visited the palace yesterday and clearly stated his position.”
“We were informed of that as well.”
“Then the matter is settled. His Majesty himself said he had no interest in the discussion and gave us permission to withdraw. In this situation, must we return simply because you summon us?”
Gerard’s voice was ice-cold. In short, his message was simple: You told us to get lost when we wouldn’t obey, and now you’re ordering us to come and go again. Screw that.
“Holy Warrior, that is precisely why His Majesty has decided to… once more…”
“Even if he has changed his mind, visiting at such an ungodly hour and commanding us like servants is rude. Go back and relay this: We will visit when the time is appropriate.”
Compared to the other disciples, Gerard could be considered relatively pro-kingdom. He had even said he understood the royal family’s wariness and had pretended to mind the palace’s feelings when we first arrived. Yet even he drew a firm line here.
Dismissing royal messengers who came bearing the king’s command said everything. The way we had shown a little deference only made them arrogant enough to act rudely. It seemed yesterday’s events had genuinely angered him.
“Hero, this puts us in a very difficult position…”
“We, and Master, already experienced more than enough difficulty yesterday.”
“…”
“Go and tell them. We came once when summoned. From now on, we will come when we feel like it. If that is unacceptable, return again. I will be waiting here in person.”
In other words: If you’ve got a problem, solve it with force.
The knights looked stunned that such words had come from Gerard. They muttered their understanding and scrambled away in a hurry. The house, noisy since dawn, fell quiet once more.
“Foolish, brainless idiots.”
To hear even Gerard utter such harsh words—he must have been furious about the king’s attitude and refusal to accept our position, even if he hadn’t shown it openly.
He had handled the situation remarkably well. I decided to go downstairs and praise him.
When I opened the door and descended the stairs, Iris was already waiting on the first floor.
“Master. You’re awake?”
“Woke up from a good sleep. Thanks to that racket.”
“I figured. Want me to run out and crack their skulls open?”
“…No need to go that far.”
“Why not? I was sleeping nicely too until those idiots woke me. I was going to go myself, but Senior Gerard told me to stay put and went instead.”
“…”
If Iris had gone instead of Gerard, I worried she might have actually declared war on the palace.
If Gerard was pro-kingdom, Iris was firmly anti-kingdom. Unlike Gerard, who at least tried to understand them, she simply disliked everything the kingdom did.
It wasn’t that she championed democracy or hated absolute monarchy. She simply couldn’t stand weaklings with no real power flaunting their bloodlines and spouting nonsense. That was her only reason for despising the royal family.
“Anyway, every last one of those royal bastards is disgusting.”
Iris grumbled and turned to head back upstairs, then suddenly poked her head out again.
“Master!”
“What?”
“What’s the plan for today? You’re not really going back to the palace, are you?”
“Am I insane? Only if they get on their knees and beg.”
“Right? That’s our master. So what are you going to do?”
“Same as yesterday. Stay quiet and observe quietly.”
“Ah, so you’re wearing the hood and wandering around the capital again? Ugh, I hate that.”
“If you hate it, stay here.”
“That’s even worse.”
With that, Iris spun around and dashed up to the second floor. She had a pathological hatred of staying still. Sometimes I wondered if her overwhelming martial prowess came from the same inability to keep her hands and feet idle—like she was constantly stepping through an invisible dance.
“Master? Did you wake up?”
“A little while ago. You did well, Gerard. Very well.”
“Ah… so you saw everything.”
“They were making that much noise. How could I not? You handled it perfectly. I was wondering when the palace would come looking for me, but to show up at the crack of dawn like that—they definitely crossed the line.”
“It seems they’ve grown arrogant because the heroes have been treating the royal family kindly lately.”
I nodded and patted Gerard’s shoulder several times.
“People mistake continued goodwill for a right. We’ll simply ignore them. Unless they throw away all their pride and beg, or the king comes in person.”
When morning fully arrived, I decided to inspect the royal capital again. The team would be me, Master, Iris (Regression), Daisy, and Iris. Gerard looked like he wanted to come, but with the possibility of more visitors from the palace, it was better to leave someone behind.
“Master, why is Senior Daisy going with you?”
Iris (Regression) grumbled in a sulky voice as she prepared to move out with Master and Iris.
“You had fun with Grandmaster yesterday, didn’t you?”
“That was yesterday. Today the pairings should be different.”
“…Then would you look after Daisy instead, Iris?”
“Huh?”
“Who knows what kind of accident she might cause?”
It wasn’t that I particularly wanted to take Daisy. If she caused trouble next to Master and really got her head split open, she would be in serious trouble with the Heavenly Demon. I was bringing her along to prevent that.
Iris (Regression) had witnessed Daisy’s terrifying clumsiness just yesterday. As a regressor, she probably knew even more. She wouldn’t carelessly volunteer to babysit her.
“…Please take good care of Senior Daisy, Master!”
I knew it. What a cowardly disciple.
“Watch carefully. If you notice anything even slightly suspicious, report it to Grandmaster immediately.”
“Of course. But what if I don’t sense anything at all?”
“Shouldn’t you be the one answering that question?”
You’re the regressor, not me, Iris. You were the one who said a terrible incident would occur in the royal capital. It’s rather troubling when you ask me what to do in that situation.
“If they’re hiding something, it will eventually show. If they don’t have much time left before they act, the signs will be obvious. Look for people behaving differently than usual, or sudden incidents. Find them, Iris. You must find them.”
The royal capital was vast. Disgustingly so. Asking her to search it with only her eyes and ears was, even to me, a crude and simplistic method. I had no desire to rely on such brute-force tactics.
But telling the people of the capital would only create chaos, and in that chaos the situation could twist in unpredictable ways. The Demon God worshippers were already on high alert simply because the heroes had arrived. If they learned the heroes were openly hunting them, even madmen would have no choice but to cower.
Until now they might have been planning to capture all the heroes at once. If that was truly their intention, it was better to let them cling to that belief until the end. That way we could catch them all in one go without expending much effort.
“Oh, and feed Master ice cream in moderation.”
“Huh? Why? Grandmaster seemed to love it. I’ve never seen her smile like that before.”
“…It’s not that it’s bad, but restrain her a little. Save the real relaxation for later. Right now, focus on observing the surroundings.”
“Understood, Master. Please be careful too.”
“The Demon God worshippers can’t do anything to this master of yours, so worry about yourself first, Iris.”
“What are you talking about? I’m not worried about them.”
“…”
“I’m worried about you having to suffer with Senior Daisy.”
Exactly thirty minutes after hearing those words from Iris, five minutes into wandering the royal capital with Daisy while wearing our hoods—
“Eek!”
“…”
“I-I’m sorry! It’s been so long since I’ve walked with you like this!”
“I fail to see what that has to do with walking straight into a pillar.”
“Aww, come on! Master! It’s all connected!”
“…Is there a reason you insist on that, Hero of Magic?”
“Of course. I’m a mage, aren’t I?”
“…And?”
“When it comes to calculations, I’m second to none!”
“…”
No, seriously, what does that have to do with any of this?
I shook my head and continued walking with Daisy. After that, more incidents unfit for a hero kept occurring—one after another.