Why Are You Coming Out From There?
Iris is a regressor. I couldn't know how she returned or what happened in the future, but no other hypothesis fit. A regressor. A Hero who came back from the future. Those crazy developers actually put a regressor Hero straight out of a novel into the game. The main story hasn't even finished yet, so they must have poured far more care into Iris's character than I thought. Probably to avoid clashing with the future plotline later. With that kind of effort, they could've fixed the cash shop or focused on something else. These idiots still haven't come to their senses even after the player count halved in the first year.
I let out a sigh in my head and glanced at Iris quietly following behind me.
“…”
She looked completely deflated, as if she'd committed some grave sin. Normally she'd be chattering nonstop by now. Yet she'd been silent for an entire hour. The quiet was one thing, but seeing Iris this subdued was downright terrifying. It felt like our house cat that usually ran around yelling “Uda-da!” had suddenly been stuffed into a corner somewhere. An inexplicable anxiety, concern, and worry kept creeping up in my chest. It was seriously annoying.
“Iris.”
Unable to bear it any longer, I called her name in a slightly stern voice. The drooping Iris flinched in surprise and scurried over with quick little steps.
“Yes, Master. Did you have something to say…? Ow!”
Without another word, I gave her a solid flick on the forehead—twice as hard as usual.
“Kyaaaooong!!”
Iris teared up from the pain, clutching her head with both hands and looking utterly lost. The sight was so ridiculous that I couldn't help but burst out laughing. Iris immediately started whining.
“Why did you hit me?! And why does it hurt so much… Aaaagh!”
“Want another one?”
“W-when did I ever say that?!”
She hurriedly covered her head and backed away. I couldn't tell if she was acting or being serious, but that was exactly the Iris I knew—cheeky and full of energy. I'd sighed every day wishing she'd grow up a little, yet now that she had completely changed, I felt oddly disappointed.
“Did you do something wrong?”
“Huh?”
“Are you a criminal?”
“…No.”
“Then why are you acting so down? Who said you did anything wrong? Did I tell you to shut up?”
“That's not it. It's just… you know.”
“My disciple Iris isn't like this. She's the one who talks too much, nags, acts a little cocky, and plays around. You're Iris, aren't you? Then act like her.”
In the future, Iris might have changed into someone completely different. But that future was too far removed from me. It was a future I'd never even touched, so I had no reason to care about it.
“Master. Did you… dislike my old self? I mean, my current self?”
“I don't dislike it.”
“Then why…”
“Because seeing you changed like this makes me dislike it even more. So go back to being the Iris I know. Act like the Iris of right now. If you keep putting on airs, I'll just hit you that much harder.”
As I casually raised my fist, Iris looked like she was about to faint. Even after regressing, her nightmare of forehead flicks apparently remained unchanged. The fact that Iris knew a future version of me that I myself had never experienced was strangely fascinating.
—Wait a second.
Come to think of it, Iris had experienced Season 2, something I hadn't even seen. Unlike me, who only knew Season 1 and the beginning of Season 2, she might have reached the very end. If she remembered everything exactly as the regression had played out, she would become an even more valuable asset than I was.
The problem was that Iris had kept her mouth firmly shut about it ever since. Even though everything had already been exposed to me, she insisted she'd tell me “later” and stayed silent. If she didn't want to talk, she wouldn't have let the secret slip in the first place. That meant there was something she couldn't say.
I'd seen plenty of people who rushed in out of impatience when they should have waited, or stepped forward when they should have held back, only to regret it. My instincts told me to wait rather than push through.
“You're my disciple. You must have your reasons. You asked me to wait, so I'll wait. Just don't mess things up because you're feeling impatient.”
Maybe I was reacting so calmly because I'd encountered regression so many times that I understood the confusion it caused.
“…Really, Master, you're impossible to figure out sometimes.”
“Is that a compliment or are you secretly cursing me?”
“What do you think?”
Why bother answering when there was a much simpler way? Just ask Iris's body directly.
Thwack!
“Kyaaaagh!!”
Whether she'd regressed or not, forehead flicks still hurt the same. I'd just have to keep giving them whenever she got too cheeky.
“Ugh… It really, really hurts! That thing!”
“Then stop doing things that get you hit.”
“But Master told me to go back to my usual self, to be the Iris of right now!”
“I said I wanted to see your lively side, not the side that earns beatings.”
“But to me, it's the same thing!”
Hmm. When she talked like that, she really did sound like the Iris I knew. Smiling, I raised my hand toward her head again.
“Hik!”
Iris flinched and quickly covered her head with both hands, clearly determined not to get hit this time.
“Iris.”
“I'm sorry! Please stop hitting me! There's going to be a hole in my head at this rate!”
“Move your hands.”
“Please spare me! It really hurts too much!!”
“I said move your hands.”
Iris sniffled and reluctantly lowered her hands. Whether she'd regressed or survived countless hardships, in front of me she was still just my disciple. Instead of striking her defenseless forehead again, I gently patted it a few times.
“…Master?”
“Yeah. You look much more like my disciple like this. Tell me when you're ready. Until then, keep acting like the Iris you've always shown me. The Iris of this moment. If you suddenly act all grown up, it'll feel so weird I won't be able to stand it.”
“You were the one who kept telling me to grow up.”
“Growing up and suddenly becoming a completely different person are two different things, you damn disciple.”
“…Aren't they the same?”
Words are far, but fists are close. I smiled and raised my fist again. Iris immediately shouted, “Yes, Master!”
She really was my disciple. No matter what else, she could never handle forehead flicks.
“By the way, Iris.”
“Yes.”
“That ring. The finger you're wearing it on is a bit much, don't you think?”
“Why? The ring finger is the correct place for a ring.”
She casually held up her hand. Unlike my index finger, Iris had boldly slipped the ring onto her ring finger. I wasn't some kid who would obsess over something like that, but if the other disciples saw it and Iris said, “Master gave me this ring!” they would definitely misunderstand. And then I'd have to explain everything to clear it up.
“Put it on a different finger, not the ring finger.”
“But the ring finger is the best…”
“Stop talking back and change it while I'm still being nice.”
“I-I'd rather take another forehead flick than change it!”
I never expected to hear Iris say she'd rather get hit. Even after regressing, she was still terrified of forehead flicks. When I stared at her to see if she was serious, Iris flinched. Her eyes darted between the ring on her finger and my raised fist.
“Y-you'll really let me off if I take one hit, right?”
“I'll let you off if you take the hit. Whether it's one hit or more depends.”
“What does that mean?! Be specific! I need to know so I can endure it!”
“Not knowing makes it more exciting. What's with you? You act like you know everything about the world.”
“Uwaaaah!!”
No matter how painful the beating, if you knew exactly how many hits were coming, it was bearable. But not knowing when it would end was just as terrifying.
“If you don't want that, take it off.”
“Ugh…”
“Who's going to confiscate the ring? Just move it from your ring finger to your index finger. Is that so bad?”
“A-actually! If I don't wear it on my ring finger, something terrible might happen!”
“…Disciple.”
“Yes!”
“Cut the bullshit. No matter how much you've come back from the future, your habit of raising the corner of your eye when you lie hasn't changed. Don't even think about lying until you fix that.”
By the way, Iris had at least five other tells when she lied. If she tried to hide the eye thing, she'd just expose the others more obviously. I'd just use those instead.
The negotiation had dragged on too long. If I gave her this much time, she'd start scheming. I clenched my fist again to signal she needed to choose quickly. Iris thought hard, then finally answered.
“I-I'm ready! Hit me!”
“…Wow.”
To think the day would come when Iris volunteered to endure a forehead flick. It was scarier than her actually growing up. Either way, since it had come to this, I aimed for her head. I'd start with three hits and see how she reacted. If she held out, maybe seven more. If she still endured, I'd have to acknowledge it.
Just as I was about to bring my hand down—
—A chill suddenly washed over me. An involuntary shiver ran down my spine and I swallowed dryly. If it had been an unfamiliar presence, I would've drawn my sword immediately.
“Oho. So that's how it is. Very well. This lord acknowledges your spirit. Then this lord shall do it in your stead.”
“…What?”
“Come. This is the path you chose. Endure it with sheer willpower.”
With a fist tempered by the Heavenly Demon Divine Art, the figure slowly approached from ahead. Both Iris and I could only stare blankly, our minds blank from that terrifying aura.
…Wait. But why is Master coming out from there?