Are Your Parents Well?
I’d scouted out a cafe a while back. As I passed by, I’d thought, “Jenia likes tea.” Thanks to that, the memory stuck, and I found the place without any trouble.
“…It’s been a few days, but the capital feels a bit calmer now.”
“It looks that way at a glance. But we don’t know what’s happening behind the scenes, so we need to stay even more careful.”
After taking our seats, we ordered two drinks. Jenia got green tea, while I went for milk tea.
“Alright. Let’s hear the story.”
“Where should I start? From after I greeted Master?”
“The part where you and Garam blew up an entire forest fighting.”
At my words, Jenia let out a short gasp. She probably never thought it would stay a secret forever, but the way she reacted made it clear she’d been careless.
“How long did you think you could hide it, Jenia Violet?”
“I-I’m sorry, Master. I’m really sorry. I was wrong.”
“If I wanted to scold you, I would’ve done it in front of Garam. I just want to hear what happened that day from you directly, so speak freely. Just try to keep it as objective as possible.”
Once I promised not to punish her, Jenia finally began to speak, cautiously.
“Well… actually, I’ve been really into cake lately.”
“Cake?”
“Yes. It’s a fresh cream cake topped with red raspberries… It’s just so delicious! There’s so much fruit in it, and it’s not just sweet—it has this nice tartness too!”
“And?”
“I-I ate a lot of it. The reason I ate so much cake was because I was under a lot of stress from fighting monsters.”
“Why?”
“The people around me were too weak and kept getting in the way. I didn’t want to show it, but they kept calling for me and stopping me from cleaning up the monsters. Plus, the Demon God worshippers kept provoking us… Anyway, I relieved all that stress by eating cake. But then…”
“You gained weight.”
Jenia squeezed her eyes shut and made a pitiful face. Whether elf, hero, or any woman in the world, they all seemed sensitive about gaining weight. But no matter how I looked at her, she didn’t seem heavier. If anything, she looked too thin. A little more weight would probably give her the perfect figure.
“T-To be honest, I didn’t really feel it that much?! But then Garam suddenly said that the moment she saw me. ‘Did you gain weight?’ What kind of thing is that to say?! It’s basically calling me a woman who can’t even take care of herself! Like, ‘I’m working so hard, and you’re just playing around enough to get fat!!’”
“…That doesn’t sound like what she meant.”
Garam had probably just said exactly what she saw, without any malice. The problem was that Jenia took it completely seriously. And Garam hadn’t bothered to clear up the misunderstanding either.
“So we had a huge fight. Everyone else ran far away. We fought for a long time, and then I suddenly thought, ‘Why are we even fighting right now?’ So we made up.”
“…Right. That’s fine. If you made up, then it’s settled.”
“Really? I… didn’t do anything wrong, did I?”
“Just don’t fight over something so trivial next time. Got it?”
“Yes, I understand!”
Right on cue after Jenia’s answer, our drinks arrived.
“Master.”
As I was about to take a sip of my milk tea, Jenia offered me a cookie. Honestly, the tea was already sweet enough that a cookie wouldn’t add much, but since I’d brought her here to set the mood, I quietly opened my mouth.
“Hehehe.”
Jenia smiled with a slightly foolish expression, twisting her body in happiness. An elf writhing around because she was so delighted… This was bad for my heart in its own way. What was I supposed to do with her?
“I heard the gist of it. You went through a lot besides that.”
“Hardship… Honestly, there wasn’t much to suffer through. You taught us so well, Master.”
“Not the monsters. The humans. The nobles, to be precise.”
“Ah, aah…”
“They gave you a lot of trouble, didn’t they? I heard one of them even tried to kidnap you without knowing you were a hero.”
“Yes. So I broke all his limbs and displayed him on top of the castle walls…”
Jenia, who had been speaking confidently, suddenly covered her mouth with her hand. But the words were already out—what difference would covering her mouth make now?
“Jenia.”
“I-I’m sorry, Master. I mean…”
“Good job.”
“Huh?”
“You did well. From now on, you can deal with bastards like that however you want. The royal family has agreed to give the heroes more conveniences. So if anyone disrespects a hero, feel free to grab them and teach them a lesson. I don’t want my disciple—the hero who saved the world—being treated poorly.”
“Really?”
“Yes. But if it’s not that kind of situation—if it’s just someone who happens to clash with you—try to be a little gentler. Being strong isn’t the only thing that makes a hero. You saw the sixth disciple, Lily, right?”
“…Yes. She’s doing really well. Much better than Garam or me.”
That was exactly what people wanted and imagined a hero to be. Saving lives in moments of crisis was good, but sometimes a single warm word carried more power. It might be difficult for Garam or Jenia to develop that side of themselves, but constantly swinging swords and spears without any other qualities wasn’t ideal either. They were heroes, after all. I hoped there would be people who genuinely followed them—people willing to lay down their lives even when death was certain.
“Jenia. I’m going to wash my hands for a moment. Wait here.”
I stood up, pretending to head to the restroom, and hid instead. If asked why, it was because I’d felt someone watching us for a while now. They weren’t enemies—just the usual local thugs you’d find anywhere. Jenia had probably noticed their gazes long before I did. I wanted to step away and see how she would handle the situation.
When the other party clearly posed no threat, would Jenia be able to control her sharp tongue? Could she send them off after a proper scolding without making people fear her?
“Hey, mind if we sit here?”
“No. Don’t sit. Just leave.”
“Aw, come on. Elf lady, it looked like that guy you were with dumped you.”
“…Dumped?”
Those little punks. Well, thanks for that. At least they said I was the one who got dumped, not the other way around.
“Honestly, that guy looked way too pretty and weak. Guys like us, all sturdy and reliable, are what ‘men’ are supposed to look like.”
Whether they looked sturdy like a bowl of rice soup or like they’d ruin a bowl of rice soup was debatable. Personally, I thought it was the latter. Their faces looked like someone had mixed rice with radish water.
“I told you to leave. I’m asking nicely, so please go.”
“Aah, you’re a really cold lady.”
“Could you spare us just a moment? I know a good bar around here.”
“Ha, shit. Seriously.”
Whoa. I didn’t expect her to swear before the thugs did. The thugs themselves looked visibly flustered. Elves usually considered swearing vulgar and never used it. No matter how provoked, they’d either politely decline or give a warning. But Jenia was different. She was an elf, yet not an elf. If Ester was a case of denying being a demon, then Jenia was… an elf who absolutely hated living like an elf?
“Hey. Did your mom and dad teach you to bother people who are minding their own business?”
“W-What?”
“Ah, well. If your parents were decent, you wouldn’t have turned out like this. Are your mothers doing well? Are your fathers in good health? Do all four of your parents still have their limbs attached?”
Jenia launched straight into parent-insulting territory. Wow. Even watching it myself, I was stunned. She looked like a noble, pure young lady, but the moment she opened her mouth, terrifying insults poured out. This was actually her holding back. Normally, there’d be swearing mixed in between every word, but she seemed to be restraining herself because there were people around.
“H-Has this crazy bitch lost it?”
“Are you an idiot? Crazy bitches are supposed to have lost it. Use proper grammar. Didn’t your parents teach you that? You should say, ‘Has this woman gone crazy?’ or ‘Has this woman lost it?’ You morons.”
The customers nearby burst out laughing. Her sharp criticism, the relentless parent-insults, and the fact that it was all true made it even funnier. A single delicate elf was verbally beating up three thugs. This was a rare scene you wouldn’t see anywhere else.
“T-This elf really—!”
Finally, one of the thugs couldn’t take it anymore and stepped forward. He looked like the muscle of the group. Unfortunately for him, Jenia’s hand was already moving.
Thud!
“Gack.”
The burly thug took a perfect uppercut and fell straight backward. With a heavy crash, he sprawled out completely. The whole thing happened in seconds, leaving the other two thugs in shock. Slurp. Jenia took a sip of her green tea, then lightly shook the cup.
“Kids. I’ve got exactly two sips left. If you don’t take that pig and leave before I finish, I’ll chop off every limb on your bodies and bury you alive next to your parents’ graves.”
“H-Huh?!”
“Get lost before I finish this tea. I mean what I say.”
Jenia’s eyes flashed as if to prove she wasn’t joking. The moment she lifted her cup, the two thugs frantically grabbed their fallen comrade and fled. They ran as fast as they could, clearly valuing their lives.
“Cowards.”
Jenia muttered and stretched lightly. Watching her elegant posture, I wondered if she was really the same elf who had just been hurling insults.
“Jenia.”
“Ah, you’re back?!”
“Let’s go. We should look around other places too.”
“Yes! I want to do that too!”
Jenia bounced over and stuck close to my side, grinning. She looked so happy that it was hard to believe she was the same fierce elf from moments ago. Well, as long as no one died, it was fine. No broken bones either—just one punch to the jaw. From the thugs’ perspective, that was lucky. No, it was divine intervention.
“Master, there’s a fountain over there. Want to go see it?”
“Sure, let’s go. Ah, and Jenia.”
“Yes, Master!”
“You’d still be pretty even if you gained weight.”
“…Eh?”
“So don’t worry about gaining weight for no reason.”
I’d said it on purpose, worried she might fight with Garam over it again later. But after saying it, I had a feeling she might interpret it differently.
“…”
The moment I saw Jenia’s eyes, I knew I’d made a mistake. As expected, this damn mouth of mine was the source of all evil. Damn it.