Incomplete Combustion
After the rainy night had passed, even Yeoncheong, who always wore a grin, stiffened at her friend's sudden seriousness.
Still, an answer was owed, so she opened her mouth hesitantly.
"No, it's just—how did it even turn into that?"
"You're telling me you'd rather sleep on a cold floor with no blanket than in the same bed as me. Right now."
The sound of rain drumming against the window filled the silence between them.
Yeoncheong had only said that it wouldn't do, so she'd assumed Suyeon might be feeling that way. But Suyeon's fierce glare wanted no part of a vague ending. Those sharp eyes somehow reminded Yeoncheong of the look that might one day be aimed at her, once the truth came out — and she turned her head away.
A gaze caught between embarrassment and a heart that ached and ached. At the end of her weighing, Yeoncheong chose honesty first.
"It's... just that lying in one bed with just the two of us feels kind of..."
Her pupils trembled faintly. It was the very thing Suyeon had been conscious of, too. It was a small comfort to know she hadn't been the only one — but the situation was too ambiguous to simply end with an oh, I see.
Suyeon raised her index finger and pinched at the school trip.
"You slept in the same bed as Seoha on the second night, didn't you!"
"Th-that was different! It wasn't my house, and you guys were all around! It wasn't like... that kind of feeling!"
In truth, she'd squeezed in between her friends — but there was no need to reveal an embarrassing detail like that.
At the sight of Yeoncheong flushing red, Suyeon's voice wavered at the edges.
"Wh-what, d'you think I'm not embarrassed? You're the first for me too, other than Siyeon!"
For all that she'd shouted, her head was full of entirely different thoughts — because she had heard, clearly, that creeping, shrinking voice.
'What kind of feeling, exactly?'
Her face grew hot. Why was it so warm in here? Sneaking a glance at the air conditioner, Suyeon kept talking.
"A-anyway! That's not all. You could've shared an umbrella on the way and then lent it to me. Why did you ignore what people told you and go alone?"
"I already got soaked last time, so I figured I'd be fine..."
Even while keeping her distance and walking on eggshells, she was still looking out for people. As that thought struck her, a long sigh escaped Suyeon's lips, and along with the softening of her eyes came a voice that sounded almost like a lament.
"I appreciate that you think of us... but can't you talk to us? You're not the only one doing the thinking here — me and the others care about you too."
When she'd been angry with a frosty face, it had been painful to bear. But a voice spoken with a face full of sincerity squeezed at Yeoncheong's chest. Her lowered blue eyes flicked, despite herself, toward the window.
"I know. I know, and I'm trying as hard as I can."
Suyeon climbed down from the bed and went to Yeoncheong's side. She tried to meet her eyes, but Yeoncheong refused.
A bad thought surfaced, just for a moment. Maybe now — carried along by this mood — she might actually tell me.
"Can't you tell me what happened?"
She put into words the question the group had tacitly forbidden. Trembling eyes. Her stuttering lips struggled to form something, but no sound ever came.
What emerged from the short silence was nothing but an apology.
"...I'm sorry."
Yeoncheong bit her lip, gently. There was no telling how much worry was churning inside her. Suyeon thought: she was carrying an enormous burden. And she felt bitter — they'd spent so much time together, grown so close, and yet she wasn't close enough to share the weight of it.
Suyeon, who had blown up first, apologized too.
"No... I'm sorry for snapping at you out of nowhere."
Suyeon glanced at the clock and gave an awkward smile.
"Wow, it's already this late. I should sleep."
Yeoncheong met her eyes again, as if to ask what she intended to do. Suyeon lay down at the edge of the bed and gestured to the space beside her.
"Weren't you the one saying there's no extra blanket? I can't make my host — who got rained on — sleep on the floor. This much, even I won't give up. If you really hate it, I'll take the floor."
"It's fine. Okay."
Yeoncheong switched off the light and fumbled through the darkened room until she found the bed. Two people lay down beneath a single blanket.
Beneath the heavy weight of anger and bitterness, there was no heart left to beat oblivious and quick. The blaze that had threatened to burn through everything ended, in the end, as incomplete combustion — nothing properly seen through to its end.
Morning came. The raindrops that had battered the window all night were gone, and the sun peeked out from behind the clouds that had hidden it. Text messages arrived one after another announcing that the roads, flooded until now, had reopened to traffic.
There was no special notice from school, so Yeoncheong and Suyeon got ready to head in as usual. Suyeon, like Yeoncheong always did, made do with bread for breakfast. Both of them acted as though nothing at all had happened the night before.
They didn't exactly have two spare sets of everything. Just as Suyeon was agonizing over whether she'd have to go in wearing gym clothes, and what on earth to do about underwear, a notice arrived from the education office: all elementary, middle, and high schools would close for the day because of the storm.
And then came word that Suyeon's dad, evidently held up at a good job that let him arrive late, would come pick her up. The two of them, who had only looked composed on the outside while quietly fretting within, finally let themselves relax.
Suyeon, dressed in Yeoncheong's clothes, while Yeoncheong packed her bag for her.
"Your uniform and... underwear, I'll give back once they're dry."
"Yeah. Thanks. For letting me stay the night — and the food was great too... Oh, hold on."
Suyeon answered her dad's call with a nod. Apparently, he'd already arrived.
"I'm heading out."
"Get home safe."
Suyeon's hand was on the door handle when she turned back. After holding Yeoncheong's gaze for a long moment, her lips parted.
"Let's not make too big a deal of it. I'd love for you to tell me about the things you keep secret, but... do whatever's comfortable. I'll wait."
"...How long?"
Caught off guard by the question, Suyeon paused.
"Until we graduate?"
Then she grinned and added,
"Oh, but you can't keep tiptoeing around us forever. That part I won't wait until graduation for."
"Got it."
At the sight of Suyeon acting perfectly normal again, Yeoncheong let out a small laugh. Seeing her friend's smile, Suyeon smiled lightly too.
"You really are prettier when you smile."
The words slipped out before she knew it. A sentence she'd only ever thought to herself somehow made it out into the open.
Yeoncheong's eyes went round, her mouth hanging open dumbly.
"Huh?"
"S-so anyway, I'm off! Really, thank you so much!"
Suyeon whirled around and yanked the door open. All her earlier hesitation forgotten, she left without so much as a backward glance.
She shut the door behind her entirely on her own and scurried down the stairs. She was in such a hurry that she stepped in a puddle that hadn't dried yet and nearly went sprawling.
Despite the unexpected day off, school carried on with its routine as if nothing had happened.
She focused on lessons during class, and in PE she ran around hard enough to leave no room for stray thoughts. She ate lunch with her friends, and every lunch break she prepared for finals with Siyeon in the library. Seobin, seizing her chance, pressed a book recommendation on them from nearby.
In the club room, she bickered amiably with Suyeon over their activity plans.
And then, once finals were a week away, the club room that had belonged to just the two of them grew lively.
Hasol, who had claimed she liked it better when there were fewer people, showed up just like before, and this time Nayun joined in too. Occasionally Seoha would appear as well, when student council work finished early.
Since they all had the same purpose — studying for exams — conversation never got especially deep.
And yet.
'This isn't bad at all.'
Yeoncheong, who had kept her distance for a while, looked around her. Everyone quietly studying their own share, asking a friend when something was hard. An ordinary scene. But after even a short while away from it, that ordinary scene felt precious to Yeoncheong beyond measure.
The walk home. Four of them passed through the school gate, Seoha staying behind to study more in the self-study room.
Yeoncheong, whose house was closest, peeled away from the group first, and Nayun shot her a quick sidelong glance before speaking up.
"I think she's doing a bit better, maybe?"
"She's definitely not as obviously avoiding us, that's for sure."
Hasol watched the receding figure of their friend and nodded slowly.
Nayun poked the friend walking beside her in the side, holding back a blooming grin.
"Wouldn't be because spending one night in the same bed worked wonders, would it?"
But Suyeon still wore an expression of lingering dissatisfaction.
"Is she seriously planning not to say a word until we graduate?"
That was what she said — but inwardly, Suyeon simply wanted to help lighten the weight on Yeoncheong's heart.
"Hey, if it's something that hard to talk about, maybe she just can't. There are things even family can't say to each other — you think being friends makes it easier?"
"Kim Nayun. How did you suddenly get smart?"
"Studying for exams made me smart. Happy now?"
Hasol wedged herself between the two growling at each other. With a physical wall between them, they both toned down their sniping.
"Well, I figure if we can go back to how things were, that's plenty good enough."
Hasol turned to Suyeon.
"If it's a worry she can't talk about, isn't it better to just pretend we don't know?"
"I was really grateful you listened to me back then, you know?"
"Everyone's different."
To that, Suyeon could only reluctantly agree.
Nayun, who had been listening quietly, added her two cents.
"Still, she's come back a lot, hasn't she? After exams, if we all go out somewhere together, she might be right as rain."
Suyeon answered with a sigh.
"I wish I could think as simply as you do..."
"Hey, Baek Suyeon. Get over here. Right now, you should be worrying about my fist, not about Yeoncheong."
Suyeon needled Nayun as easily as breathing. Unable to take it, Nayun vaulted clean over the Hasol-shaped wall and lunged at her friend.
Hasol held her back from the middle of it all.
"Guys, you two can't fight too."
It was in moments like these that having only one body was truly a shame. Whether it was Seoha in the self-study room or Yeoncheong who'd already headed home — Hasol found herself desperate for a helping hand.
After a final week-long sprint, Hwaryeong High School stood one day away from its final exams. As always, other high schools around the country were in the middle of their exams or staring them down at the same time.
And yet... at a PC bang, there were boys who had come out with their friends anyway, citing the need to blow off steam with exams right around the corner.
The friend next to him, having apparently just lost a game, spat out a curse and glanced over at the boy's screen.
"Dude, you dragged yourself all the way here just to look at social media?"
"What's it to you? I paid for my own time."
"Fair enough. Who is she, though? She's cute."
The guy was digging through every single comment on the post. As the screen flicked and scrolled, the boy's friend murmured,
"Hwaryeong... High School?"
"Where? Where's that?"
The boy's eyes went wide. His friend told him to scroll back a few times, then pointed at a single comment on the screen.
Seeing the boy grin, his friend pulled a face.
"Hey, don't tell me you're going over there to confess or something?"
"No, I know someone there. Just gonna go take a look at her face."
On the social media screen, a photo had been posted of a girl whose most striking feature was a pair of eyes — one red, one blue — and on her profile was written the name Baek Suyeon.