On All Fours
Coming down to the first floor, the cold, empty house greeted me. Recalling Heeyeon's warmth — a little hotter than an ordinary person's, still lingering from moments before — I walked into the kitchen. There was no rice and no ingredients, so I pulled a bag of fried rice from the freezer and dumped it into a bowl.
While it heated in the microwave, I tore open the cardboard boxes that had been delivered along with the bed. Inside were a dog bowl, a collar, an assemble-yourself puppy pad, and a pet camera made for dogs.
I put the puppy pad together, and while I was rummaging through the little packaging for the pet camera's charging cable, the food finished. I transferred the lukewarm fried rice from the dish into the dog bowl.
"...Heh."
A foolish little sound slipped out with a smile. I wondered what kind of face Heeyeon would make.
Dog bowl in one hand, collar roughly stuffed into my pocket, puppy pad and camera held a little precariously, I climbed the stairs.
I fumbled the password open and stepped into the room where Heeyeon was. She was staring at the ceiling with a vacant, slightly stupid expression, just spacing out, so I told her to wait a moment.
Heeyeon looked at me with a faintly incredulous face. Faint threads of steam rose from the dog bowl. I'd run it thirty seconds short of the proper time so it wouldn't burn her, and maybe because of that, the bottom of the bowl was still cold.
"Um, Unnie...?"
"Yeah, that's right. Wait."
I cut her off. What I was going to say was more or less decided anyway. I simply set the dog bowl on the floor, stacked the other things one by one on the nightstand, then picked up the cat-ear headband and fitted it onto Heeyeon's head — her whole body bare and exposed, still bound.
"...Ahah. So cute. Really."
I wanted to smack that pale lower belly right then and there. Wanted to pull on those beautifully rounded breasts until they lost their shape. To hold those feelings down, I muttered that and lifted Heeyeon up.
She was light enough that it was almost strange how little strength it took to pick her up.
I set her on the floor and began undoing the ropes one by one. Each time an ankle or a wrist came free, I carefully rotated the joint, and Heeyeon, watching my face, stretched her arms and legs out with a secretly relieved expression — that was cute too.
"Oh, and for the record — if you stand up, I'll actually kill you. Got it? All fours only. No exceptions."
"Euh. Y-yes..."
I wasn't sure things would go the way I wanted, but I figured I at least had to try, so I said it.
When I spoke a little firmly, she immediately froze and gathered both hands in front of her chest as if swearing she would never stand — it was adorable.
So a sigh escaped me. No matter how cute she was, rules were rules, and punishment had to be punishment. That fact closed around me like a vice.
"What are you doing, talking like a person, Heeyeon."
When I said it like a lament, like a scolding, Heeyeon — free arms, free legs — scrambled across the floor toward me and clung to my legs.
Honestly, it was cute. The way she desperately hung onto my legs and just shook her head was so cute I almost forgot about the punishment for a second.
But there was no helping it.
"No. I'm not letting this slide. Heeyeon's too stupid — she only remembers after she's punished."
"...!"
I stroked her slightly trembling chin for a moment, then told her to eat first. Surprisingly, she didn't seem to have any aversion to eating without using her hands — Heeyeon just planted her face straight into the dog bowl and started eating.
A little disappointing. I'd prepared a lot of punishments assuming she'd resist the bowl.
After petting my head a couple of times and confirming there was no headband on her own head, she carefully opened her mouth.
"Um, uh, Unnie..."
"Hm?"
"Th-the punishment... wh-what kind of punishment is it...?"
I didn't think Unnie had forgotten. Even after I finished eating, she'd just been fondling me for a long while without doing anything else, so I asked. I'd thought about glossing over it, then worried I'd get scolded worse for that.
"Hmm, well. Still thinking about it."
"Ah..."
"We're doing it tomorrow morning anyway, so there's plenty of time, right? Or maybe I should just stick a bunch of dildos and vibrators on you."
"..."
My mouth wouldn't open. It wasn't that I was scared, exactly. I just couldn't predict how hard that punishment would be. Better dildos and vibrators than getting hit. Or was it? It had definitely hurt a lot. Or had it?
Weighing the pain that pleasure brought against the pain that pain brought — deciding which was better — was much harder than I'd expected.
"Or, well, I could put you on a wooden horse. Hmm..."
"Euh..."
"Ah! Should I tie your neck? How about it, Heeyeon? Which one's best?"
The last one was an automatic reject. So that left the wooden horse and the pain of pleasure. The wooden horse wasn't even my personal preference, so I had no idea what kind of pain it would involve, but...
I thought it would at least be better than dildos and vibrators. Thinking of it as sitting on a somewhat uneven floor made it feel more fitting for "corporal punishment," and I figured I could endure that much. Back when I was a soldier, I'd even smashed my head into bottle caps.
The fact that that horrific hell now felt like heaven was disgusting.
"Um, euh, th-the w-wooden horse..."
Even as I said it, goosebumps rose on my skin. Having to choose my own punishment was horrible.
"Heh heh. Then we'll go with the dildos and vibrators. Keke."
"Ah...!"
Only after hearing Unnie's words did I understand what a naive answer I'd given. Of course, regretting it didn't change anything.
I wrapped both arms tightly around her. I tried something like a pout — Unnieee... — but she was firm.
Maybe she was happy that I'd clung to her of my own accord. Unnie kneaded my butt as she spoke.
It wasn't exactly a trade, but she said if I completed everything she ordered tomorrow, she'd let me rest for a full day. I steadied the tears that threatened to come and nodded that I understood.
Then without another word she stood up and lifted me.
"Euaah...!"
"Let's go wash up."
As if she didn't even want to see me walk a little, she shifted me into a princess carry, struggled the door open, and took me to the bathroom.
In the bathroom there was a tiny window you had to stand on tiptoe just to see out of. Why hadn't I noticed it before? Because I was tense? Did that mean I was relaxed now?
Being held and swayed by someone at this age felt pretty awkward. The sky I was seeing after so long was incredibly clear.
"Want to look outside?"
"Heuk..! N-no!"
When Unnie asked, I startled and trembled. Afraid I might fall, I clung tight to her and answered.
"Hahat. Whyy. Sit here for now."
The bath stool on the floor beside the tub. After setting me down, Unnie turned on the tub faucet and gauged the temperature by batting at the stream with her hand. As the water rose, the air grew a little humid and breathing became harder.
Strangely, my eyes kept drifting to that tiny window. Did I want to look outside? I wasn't an extroverted person, but even so, I hadn't been outside for days — hadn't even seen sunlight — so maybe it was natural.
Unnie took off her underwear too, then hugged me from behind and asked.
"You keep looking over there. It's too small to escape through anyway. Heeyeon's shoulders are wider."
"N-no, no. It's not that. I was just, um, looking at the sky..."
"Heh heh."
Unnie chuckled and rested her chin on my shoulder as she continued.
"Heeyeon. Try running away. Like a few days ago. Yeah?"
Her hand stroked down my calf. The bruises still hadn't faded.
"Euh, n-no."
"Whyy. Try running. It's fine."
"I-I'm, f-fine. Really..."
Did she want to see me flustered? The pain in that leg from back then rose in my mind, and I hung my head and shook it. Unnie pressed a finger into the red bruise. A dull pain surged through.
"Hihi. Just kidding. Should we start with the water?"
With that, Unnie pulled the shower head out on its long hose and ran water over my toes. She asked if the temperature was okay, and the stream slowly climbed up my body. Feeling the back of my hair get wet felt good.
When Unnie said to get in the tub, I almost stood up on my own without thinking — then her hand gripped my shoulder and pushed me down, and I yelped that I'd made a mistake, and she lifted me into the tub. Sinking into the warm water, I started to feel a little more at ease. Unnie's body behind me felt like a cushion. The most uncomfortable cushion in the world.
Watching her face, I carefully let out a sigh of satisfaction at soaking in the hot water — and her voice came from behind me.
The pain scheduled for tomorrow was more terrifying than ever. Wouldn't anyone feel that way? Someone who can live another twenty years just goes on living, but someone told they only have twenty years left is tormented by every kind of paranoia.
Maybe that was why — even though Unnie was playing with my breasts like a stress ball, no particular thoughts came to me.
Except for sleeping hours, the pain I'd have to feel in just a few hours was terrifying. I wanted to run. Maybe when we got out of the tub, I should push Unnie? When the floor was slippery?
What if Unnie fell and still didn't die?
Then — hah — the sudden fear of having such thoughts made me dunk my mouth into the bathwater. It was unsanitary, but I wanted to find some kind of peace of mind somehow.