The Man Who Vanished
I heard my wife’s voice as I was leaving for work, the same as always—unilateral and absolute. “Seojun! We need to send Seo-a to her academy, so can we cut your allowance?”
It wasn’t that I couldn’t argue. But what was the point? Every time I tried, it always ended with her snapping, “Then why did you even marry me?”
“...Yeah.”
I answered shortly. When a conversation was pointless, this was the fastest exit. My wife smiled silently at my reply, her face triumphant, and stood up from her seat.
“Seo-a~ Did you pack your bag?”
“Yeah. What about Dad? Is he giving us money?”
“Of course~ Whose daughter do you think you are?”
My daughter let out a small snort of laughter. At sixteen, the way she looked at me with those contemptuous eyes was far too familiar.
I listened to their conversation with my lips pressed tightly together. I didn’t want to hear any more. The position of “husband” in this house had collapsed long ago. To them, I was nothing more than a money-giving machine.
“Where are you going? You have to take Seo-jin with you!”
I stopped just as I was about to flee out the door. Only then did Seo-jin’s bedroom door open, and he shuffled out with lazy steps. Fourteen years old, a middle schooler—the age when kids stop listening and treat their parents’ words like garbage.
“Ugh, shit… I have to ride in Dad’s car again? It’s so fucking embarrassing. Just drop me off at the alley.”
There was no one in the house who would take my side or cheer me on, so even after hearing that, I couldn’t get angry. Seo-jin ignored me completely, walked past, put on his shoes at the entrance, and left.
Before following him out, I glanced back for a moment. Seo-a and my wife were still chatting in the living room. My wife must have felt my gaze because she said indifferently,
“Seo-jin says he needs money. Give him some, honey.”
“…”
I couldn’t answer. I simply opened the door and walked out.
When I reached the parking lot, Seo-jin looked at me and muttered,
“Took you fucking long enough…”
I did my best to ignore it and got into the driver’s seat. The car ride to my son’s school was silent. Seo-jin just stared at his phone without saying a single word.
“Fuck… this is hilarious.”
I hesitated several times, wondering if I should scold him, but in the end I held back. Right before we arrived at school, Seo-jin spoke up.
“Drop me off over there in the alley.”
“...Okay.”
Once the car stopped, Seo-jin glanced at me.
“Give me some money.”
“What?”
“Didn’t Mom tell you? I said I need money.”
“...What are you going to use it for?”
“Ah, fuck. Just give it to me. Why are you being so damn picky?”
Clearly annoyed, Seo-jin slammed the car door and quickly disappeared down the alley. I stared at his retreating back for a moment, then quietly started the engine.
“….Sigh.”
I was definitely a husband and a father. But this morning once again confirmed that I was nothing more than a money-giving machine.
On my commute, watching people pass by outside the car window, I felt unusually small. The day had only just begun, yet my mind and body were already battered and exhausted.
Even sitting at my desk in the office didn’t improve my mood. If anything, it only made me feel worse. On my desk were a few printed documents, the usual repetitive emails, and the same conversations with my team members. The title of “team leader” came with nothing but responsibilities.
“Team Leader, have you heard the news?”
One of my team members spoke up while I was organizing my desk.
“What news?”
“They’re apparently accepting voluntary retirements starting next month. You know… restructuring.”
I paused while sorting documents, startled.
“Suddenly? Why?”
“The higher-ups are pushing it. They’re going to clean out departments with poor performance and people with high seniority first. It’s posted on the company bulletin board.”
The moment I heard that, I turned on my computer and logged into the intranet.
[Business Organization Efficiency Guide]
The content didn’t say it outright, but it was clearly another word for layoffs.
“Still, our department has good performance, and you’ve had solid results, Team Leader, so we should be fine.”
I gave a small nod in response.
“R-right? As long as I haven’t been absent without notice or taken long breaks, there shouldn’t be a problem.”
There was a hint of anxiety mixed into those words. Logically, there was no reason for the company to touch me or my team. But lately, my physical condition had been terrible.
Headaches and fatigue that had continued for days, plus a strangely unfamiliar sensation on my skin.
It’s probably just a common cold…
I didn’t say it out loud, but a strange unease lingered in the corner of my mind.
That evening, the moment I got home, I took off my shoes in the entryway and leaned against the wall, closing my eyes for a moment. It felt like I had barely survived the day, and if I closed my eyes like this, I might just disappear somewhere.
But that feeling lasted only a second. The voices coming from the living room dragged me back to reality.
“Seo-jin, aren’t you going to do your homework?”
“I’ll do it later, so shut up already!”
“What? You have no problem talking back to your mom, but to your dad you—”
“Ugh, fuck! What the hell is that retard even going to do?!”
Seo-jin’s voice sounded even sharper than usual. I paused for a moment where I stood, then quietly entered the living room.
My wife glanced at me and immediately looked away. No greeting, no customary “good work today.”
There was nothing prepared on the dining table except a few lonely retort food packets. I stared at the sink, which was so filthy I couldn’t tell who had used it last, then quietly tore open a packet, dumped it over rice, and picked up a spoon.
The house was far too quiet. The kids were each in their rooms, and my wife was lying on the sofa, shopping on her phone. I finished my meal alone and quietly placed the dishes in the sink.
“Honey, do the dishes.”
When I didn’t answer, my wife kept yelling from behind me. But my body couldn’t take it anymore. Ignoring her grumbling, I headed to the bedroom.
Just before collapsing onto the bed, I caught my reflection in the mirror. The dark circles under my eyes were deeper than ever, and stubble like feathers had grown on my chin.
I drank the cold medicine and a cup of water from the dressing table, then lay down. The strange, wriggling discomfort inside my body made my movements sluggish. My arms felt paralyzed and hard to move, and even the sensation of breathing had grown dull.
Am I dying…?
The thought crossed my mind. I knew I should go to the hospital, but it would cost too much time, money, and attention.
I couldn’t even pull up the blanket. I simply closed my eyes in silence.
Suddenly, my chest felt tight and my eyes flew open. A crushing pain made it impossible to breathe. I sat up in bed, gasping desperately.
My hands were soaked in sweat, and my forehead and neck were damp too. My body was truly wrong. I didn’t know the details, but this was clearly different from a simple cold or flu.
What is this? A heart attack?
Feeling my body deteriorate in real time, I staggered to the dressing table and grabbed my phone. I tried to dial 119, but my hands were shaking uncontrollably.
「Ring—」
I barely managed to press the numbers. The call connected, but my breathing was getting shallower and I couldn’t speak.
「Hello, this is 119 Emergency Services.」
“Haa… haa…”
The moment I felt a pain like someone hammering my heart, my vision blurred and the ceiling of the room tilted.
“Ah…”
My consciousness slipped away.
When I opened my eyes, a pure white ceiling greeted me. Bright lights, white walls, and the steady beeping of machines at regular intervals. My consciousness was faint, but I couldn’t quite feel my senses.
“...Patient, can you hear me?”
Someone gently shook my shoulder. I slowly turned my eyes with difficulty and saw a person in nurse’s scrubs looking down at me.
“Hsssh—”
Only the sound of air leaking came from my mouth.
“Just a moment, I’ll call the doctor.”
The person who appeared to be a nurse left the room. A few minutes later, someone who looked like a doctor entered. The doctor handed me a cup of water and spoke.
“Hello, patient. I’m your attending physician, Park Hyun-shin. Do you know what day it is today?”
“I don’t knooow…”
The voice that came out was completely different from my usual one. It was an unfamiliar, soft, feminine voice. When I looked startled, the doctor calmed me down and continued.
“Today is the ninth day. When you first arrived at the emergency room, you were in a coma. We detected abnormal physical reactions midway and moved you to an isolation ward.”
When I could only open and close my mouth, the doctor sighed and said,
“It’s TS Syndrome. It’s not an official medical term, but it’s a gender-transition syndrome accompanied by hormonal abnormalities and cellular rearrangement.”
“Pardon?”
I asked again, confused, but the doctor kept speaking.
“The patient has completely transformed into a woman, including all physical characteristics. Reproductive organs, hormones, body shape, voice—everything… has changed to female.”
My brain couldn’t keep up.
What the hell is he talking about?
Along with the feeling of my chest tightening, the first emotion that surged up was pure terror. If what the doctor said was really true… then I had lost myself.
I don’t know how much time passed amid the endless questions. The doctor lowered his head and left the hospital room without another word.