Chapter 8
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Translator: MadScientist
Chapter: 8
Chapter Title: Despair
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Jin-seong ultimately failed to keep his promise to himself.
The result was devastating.
He had no idea that the site could devour a single member like him whenever it wanted.
Once again, he plunged deep into the gambling pit.
Even while working at the restaurant, he couldn't focus on his tasks.
His words grew fewer and fewer, and his mind was consumed entirely by thoughts of gambling.
Jin-seong kept recalling the advice he'd given Seong-gwang, cursing himself over and over.
'I told Seong-gwang not to do it, so why can't I stick to my own words?'
In the end, after work, Jin-seong left only 2 million won for living expenses and recharged the remaining 5 million won.
But the events of the previous day lingered in his mind, shattering his confidence in betting.
He kept second-guessing the patterns, and after three straight misses on what he thought were sure things, he felt his mental state crumbling.
'Why did I end up like this again...'
Still, he couldn't just leave the recharged money sitting there.
He went big on his first bet, putting 2 million won on four lines.
It hit.
As his balance swelled to 7 million won, Jin-seong let out a sigh of relief.
His legs trembled from the tension as he bet another 2 million won on three lines.
The previous patterns had been three lines, four lines, four lines, so he was convinced it would be 1212 or 1213, and sure enough, three lines hit again.
Now his balance was nearly 9 million won.
'See? It comes out just like I see it. Just stick to what I see from now on.'
Jin-seong muttered to himself, hypnotizing himself as he placed his third bet.
He bet 4 million won on four lines.
The third bet hit perfectly too, and Jin-seong finally reached 13 million won.
Tension and anticipation swirled within him.
The pattern he saw now was crystal clear.
At least four lines would come once more, and Jin-seong was certain this was a golden opportunity that came once every few years, if ever.
He boldly decided to go all-in.
'This time, I'll recover everything and pay off Mom and Dad's debts too.'
Jin-seong placed 10 million won on four lines.
At the same time, he tried a bundled bet.
The bundled bet payout was 3.8 times.
With the current pattern of even-odd-even, a clear alternating section, he was dead sure four lines would appear in the odd spot, so he added 4 million won on "left four odd."
If four lines hit, he'd get 19.5 million won; if left four odd hit too, another 15.2 million on top, for a total of 34.7 million won.
Adding the 2 million won he'd set aside for living expenses made 36.7 million won—a perfect comeback and fresh start.
Jin-seong opened a notepad app and covered the results section completely, leaving only the left and right visible.
He chain-smoked cigarettes to calm his nerves, but his shaking legs wouldn't settle.
Dopamine had already taken over his brain, and his heart pounded like it might burst.
Time crawled by: 2 minutes, 1 minute, and finally the last 15 seconds.
Bloodshot eyes fixed on the screen, Jin-seong whispered desperate prayers.
"Please... just this once, let me win. I swear I won't gamble again."
Zero seconds at last. A cheerful chime rang out as the light lit up on the left side of the screen.
Jin-seong let out a triumphant yell and slowly removed the notepad.
The left side was correct.
But the result was three lines left three even, not left four odd.
Jin-seong's mind went blank.
The excitement, dopamine rush, and desperate pleas to the heavens that had filled him moments ago vanished in an instant.
He sat there frozen in a daze.
For several minutes, he made no sound, no movement—just stared blankly at the empty monitor in that rigid pose.
Jin-seong's chest felt tight.
Even recharging the remaining 2 million won felt pointless now; he had no confidence left.
The pattern he'd been so sure of had shattered miserably, making every pattern he saw now suspect.
His head was a tangled mess of confusion and self-loathing.
'Where the hell did I go wrong?'
He wanted to ease the suffocating frustration somehow.
Late into the night, Jin-seong got in his car and drove the familiar road to the university hillside he always visited when feeling down.
The dark campus was silent and still.
He parked in the outdoor lot, and the entire cityscape unfolded before him.
Jin-seong stepped out, letting the cool night breeze wash over him as he stared vacantly at the city lights.
Gazing at the glittering night view, he drowned in endless regret.
'What am I supposed to do now?'
But no matter how much he pondered, no clear answer came.
Moonlight cast a faint glow on Jin-seong's face, pale with exhaustion, regret, and bloodshot eyes that mirrored his inner turmoil.
He just sighed silently into the quiet.
The suffocating weight in Jin-seong's chest was too much to bear alone.
He felt like he needed to confide in someone to breathe again.
Despite the late hour, Jin-seong instinctively picked up his phone and called Seong-gwang.
After a few rings, Seong-gwang's weary voice answered.
"Hello?"
"Gwang, you busy right now?"
Seong-gwang sounded a bit puzzled but replied curtly.
"Just at home."
"I'm feeling suffocated. Wanna step out for some air and a smoke?"
Seong-gwang hesitated a moment before agreeing.
Jin-seong said briefly,
"I'll be there soon. I'll Kakao when I arrive. Come right out."
"Got it."
Ten minutes of driving later, he spotted Seong-gwang's rundown old apartment building.
Seong-gwang emerged looking shabby: hat pulled low, worn tracksuit, slippers dragging. He still hadn't shaved, and his complexion was dark.
"Get in first."
Jin-seong drove him to a quiet nearby lot and parked.
An awkward silence hung between them before Seong-gwang cautiously asked,
"What's up? Your face looks awful."
Jin-seong hesitated for a long while before forcing the words out.
"I... lost everything too."
Seong-gwang nodded quietly, saying nothing.
Now they were comrades who could casually share their gambling-ruined lives.
After a pause, Seong-gwang spoke up.
"Truth is, I quit my job after that day. Couldn't focus at all, so I took my severance. Borrowed more too... Planning to give it one last shot with this."
His voice was flat, resigned.
Jin-seong, half out of his mind himself, found it deeply relatable.
The absurd idea of rising from gambling ruin through more gambling somehow felt realistic.
The two talked deeply for hours into the early morning.
As if reaching some new resolve, they parted with faint smiles.
Unburdening his heart made Jin-seong feel much lighter.
For the first time in ages, he took a deep breath.
The next day at work, Jin-seong started looking into loans.
It was something he absolutely shouldn't do, but he'd made the foolish decision to go all-in with Seong-gwang from start to finish.
Jin-seong still had a good credit score, but working cash-in-hand for his parents without four major insurances meant no loans from primary banks.
He was stuck with third- and fourth-tier options like savings banks and loan sharks.
While his parents took a break, Jin-seong manned the restaurant counter himself, taking verification calls and faking job confirmation with tricks.
He scraped together 3 million won each from four lenders—12 million total—plus 20 million in card loans and 3 million from NongHyup emergency loans.
Adding the remaining 2 million made a whopping 37 million won in his account.
Seeing the number made him feel secure, deluded.
'Just double it to 70 million this time and pay it all off in a month.'
Jin-seong was lying to his parents again.
Hiding his guilt, he cautiously asked them,
"Mom, Dad. Mind if I take a week off to rest and travel a bit?"
Knowing he'd been stressed lately, his unknowing parents simply told him to go ahead.
The next day, Jin-seong packed up, met Seong-gwang, and they booked a motel room nearby for a week.
They stocked up on a carton of smokes each, shared meals, and dove headfirst into serious gambling.
Together, loneliness faded; wins brought shared yells, losses shared groans.
Drunk on dopamine, they barely slept, betting like madmen.
But their money started dwindling.
Sense of amounts vanished.
A few million was just a number now.
If it'd been physical cash, it'd be different, but staring at account digits dulled the sensation.
Their eyes grew lifeless, and after a week, each had only about 3 million left.
Over 30 million gone in just seven days.
They lay pathetically on the motel bed, staring blankly at the ceiling.
No words passed.
They didn't know what to do next, or even how to think.
Meanwhile, with Jin-seong not returning home after a week, chaos erupted at his house.
His parents and little sister Na-young tried contacting him, but he'd gone radio silent.
They reached out to all his friends and acquaintances—no one knew where he was.
Then Seong-gwang's mother called Jin-seong's mother.
"Is Jin-seong with Seong-gwang by any chance?"
Jin-seong's mother had a bad feeling instantly.
"Did he... go missing a week ago too?"
Seong-gwang's mother replied tensely.
"Yes... He left home saying he was meeting Jin-seong, and no contact since."
Jin-seong's mother's heart sank.
She was certain the two were together.
Jin-seong's mother immediately bombarded Seong-gwang with calls and texts.
Seong-gwang panicked.
With Jin-seong's mother's phone buzzing nonstop beside him, Jin-seong frantically gestured not to answer, irritated.
But to Seong-gwang, Jin-seong's mother had been like a second mom since childhood.
After a moment's thought, he picked up with a resigned "whatever."
"Hello, Mother."
Her voice came urgently through the phone.
"Seong-gwang, I talked to your mom. You're with Jin-seong, right? Put him on or send your location now!"
Seong-gwang replied politely and calmly.
"I'll have him call you right away, Mother. Hold on a sec."
Hearing this, Jin-seong's anger flared.
The situation had spiraled out of control.
He couldn't face the fact that his gambling screw-up was exposed again—that he'd racked up new debts after his parents had barely paid off the last ones months ago.
Meanwhile, Jin-seong's little sister Na-young had contacted his girlfriend Hyo-jin and was discussing his disappearance at a local coffee shop.
Hyo-jin had no clue at first.
"I haven't heard from Jin-seong in a while either."
Na-young sighed and hesitantly opened up.
"Sis, my brother's actually got a gambling addiction. I think he's messed up again this time."
Hyo-jin was stunned.
She'd never noticed a hint.
"Jin-seong has a gambling addiction? No way... He never showed any sign."
The two talked worriedly for a long time.
At a loss on how to find him, Na-young's phone rang—her mother.
"Hello? Mom?"
"Na-young, we found him! He's with Seong-gwang. Don't worry; tell him to come home."
Na-young hung up and exhaled deeply.
Hyo-jin, hearing the news, patted her chest in relief.
"That's really good."
Tension finally eased, and they shared relieved smiles.
But a bitter worry lingered in their hearts.
The reality of Jin-seong's gambling addiction remained a hard-to-believe shock.