Han River Coffee Tastes Delicious
The skies over Seoul had always been a no-fly zone, then and now.
There was a story that if a drone’s contrail climbing from the ground ever showed up on radar, men in black would come knocking. So what about the reverse? What if something came plummeting from the sky toward the earth—almost straight down—at a terminal velocity of Mach 2?
—Kiiiiing!
Black stealth fighters with the sharp scream of 18,000-pound-class jet engines would come looking for you. I hadn’t wanted to know that. It was just common sense that floated back into my mind as I drifted lazily in the air.
“Manifest. Body application. Coordinate lock. Levitation. Gravity control. Fluid shift.”
Judging by the curvature of the horizon, I was at least eight thousand meters up. Layering multiple spells, I managed a leisurely deceleration.
“…It really is Korea.”
My voice had gotten a lot thinner, but I’d already known that would happen, so I’d deal with it later.
“Ha, fuck.”
Still couldn’t keep the rage in check, huh? How dare they mess with someone else’s precious, brilliant son!
On the way down I’d checked between my legs just in case, and discovered the situation had gone completely null. …Hold it in. Hold it.
At least I’d yanked a shirt and pants out of my inventory and thrown them on while freefalling naked at high altitude. Otherwise I would’ve become the lunatic skydiving virgin of the year.
Anyway, even from satellite photos you can always pick out your own neighborhood and the places you know. Floating up here looking down, Seoul after all this time looked exactly the same. Especially that massive river bending into a U around a single island, the buildings glittering gold, and that turquoise dome that looked like it might be hiding robots. It was ridiculously easy to tell this was Seoul.
—Whiiish!
The four fighter-jet gentlemen couldn’t slow down, so all they could do was scream past me at insane speeds. Should I close in and try to talk?
—Whish!
I matched pace with one of the sleek gray fighters and poured on the speed.
“Levitation. Fluid shift. Accelerate, accelerate, accelerate, accelerate. Barrier. Shield.”
Flight magic was a real pain. You had to stack physical effects like laying bricks just to get the spell going. Still, with the shield and barrier minimizing air resistance, at least I didn’t have to worry about my face getting flattened.
Only then could I match speed with one of the planes. Sensing that I was keeping up, one fighter slid in on either side of me.
—Kiiiiiiing
Up close they were enormous and deafening. The dark-gray bulk of the fuselage reminded me of the days I’d wandered around cracking wyvern skulls open like soup bowls. I could probably lie on top and roll around ten times over.
Inside the translucent canopy the pilot was waving his arms around; I had no idea what it meant. I tilted my head and raised both hands beside my head in the universal “I dunno” gesture—worked in this world and the other one alike.
The pilot slapped his forehead and waved again. Follow me. Crystal clear. I shot him a thumbs-up.
—Thumbs-up
—Nod-nod double thumbs-up
Getting a double thumbs-up back told me the vibe wasn’t exactly hostile. On the other side someone was pointing a camera at me. Deep down I’d already been calculating how to block a missile to the back of the head without it hurting too much.
Still, I was curious. What would happen if defensive magic went head-to-head with modern science’s firepower? Spear versus shield, right? The ridiculous thought made the corner of my mouth twitch up on its own.
“…Heh.”
Under the fighters’ not-quite-escort, I set off on the homecoming I’d waited three thousand years for. Of course it was an emergency for everyone else. Sorry, soldiers! Thanks, pilot uncles!
…
At last I was going to set foot on Earth’s soil again.
“…Fuck. Took long enough.”
Sticking close to the fighter’s wing, we banked wide across the sky and closed in on what looked like a runway.
“Resistance. Resistance. Coordinate lock. Body-strength adjustment. Gravity control.”
I always felt it: multi-casting for flight was ridiculously inefficient. Almost impossible unless you were a dragon, the absolute peak of magic-using species—and even then humans needed magical tools and support gear. The mana cost was enormous. But who was I? A three-thousand-year-old Hero. At my level, it was doable.
—Tadadak! Shwaaak!
I kicked my legs forward and slid into a light landing. Mentally I scored it an eleven out of ten—perfect form.
“Uh… so, this way for now.”
Soldiers waiting around the runway came running in a pack, but they barely registered. Gray asphalt. Ugly panel-and-concrete buildings. Hangul I could still read thanks to memory-preservation magic. I turned in a slow circle, savoring every single thing that entered my sight.
[RUNWAY]
I silently answered the last green sign I saw: Yeah, I know, idiot.
I dropped to my knees on the runway.
“Uh. Sir—ma’am?”
I brushed the ground with one hand, then pressed my nose to the surface and breathed in. The rough scrape of asphalt. The faint rubber-and-tar scent of civilization. The thick haze of dust and exhaust in the air. Never thought I’d be glad to smell that Chinese fine-dust crap again…
“…Ha! Hahaha!”
I was really back on Earth. That reek of heavy metals and toxins nobody should ever breathe let me be sure of it.
“Ahaha! Haaaa! Hwaaaa!!”
I stayed curled up and screamed for a long time. No need to care about the weird looks the soldiers were giving me.
Probably the office of someone high up at this air base. A plush black leather sofa, a tea table, one wall covered in fighter-jet models, and a single star framed in sky-blue. The navy dress uniform hanging in the corner had a rack of ribbons whose exact honors I didn’t know, but the sheer number suggested the owner had racked up more than a few achievements.
“For now, at least take this. Uh, do you speak Korean…?”
The big shot who owned the room handed me a cup of mix coffee he’d made himself. Ah, the Han River coffee I hated. Just make a private do it… Behind him a soldier’s eyes darted around frantically.
“Yes, I’m Korean. Or… I was Korean? Anyway, yes. Slurp.”
Even so, after so many centuries it tasted fantastic.
“Ha, this is… probably a world first, and even after getting the report I still can’t believe it.”
The high-ranking man sat down, rambled a bit, then introduced himself first.
“I’m Brigadier General Jin Seon-woo, commander of this air wing. And starting from this side…”
Across from me sat a suit, a soldier, and a pilot.
“Staff Sergeant Seong Yu-seung, 3rd Security Support Unit.”
“Investigator Jo Han-jin, Military Police.”
“Major Hyeon Jun-gu, the flight leader who gave you the thumbs-up earlier.”
We exchanged stiff little bows.
“Until we get orders from higher up, there’s not much we can do on our own…”
“I understand.”
Honestly… if I’d had even a shred of malice, the fact that this big shot had sat me down without even trying to restrain me would already be a complete disaster. But maybe that was just the Korean military for you? Or maybe they simply had no manual for this. Fair enough. Who the hell writes a protocol for a supersonic alien dropping out of the sky?
Even a rough guess told me there was nothing these people could actually do. Which only worked in my favor. Sitting around like this with NIS types or the black-suit uncles who crawl out of the basements under Namsan was something I wanted to avoid at all costs.
Should we crank the voltage higher?
—Zzzt!
Ughagagagak! The base is to the north! The baaaase!! Uooogh!!
Ugh, just imagining it was horrifying. Compared to that, the people in front of me were fretting and fidgeting while keeping me here. How peaceful. I’d be grateful just for three square meals and a decent place to sleep.
Even now the wing commander looked like he was dying to ask a dozen questions, but he was holding back.
“I assume someone from the NIS or wherever will come collect me?”
So I just threw a fastball straight down the middle.
“I’d prefer no human experiments, haha.”
“…Uh. Yes? Yes?”
“I was dragged to another world and barely managed to return. Figured you’d be curious, so I’m telling you.”
That ultra-fast four-seam fastball left them all reeling.
“…Hoo.”
“Um.”
“Ahem.”
All three faces went red then white—triple strikeout. Or not. I shrugged.
And just in case any trouble came my way, I needed to advertise my value.
“If you have questions, feel free to ask. Earth’s under threat, so I’ll cooperate fully.”
“Threat…?”
“Earth is?”
It wasn’t a lie.
I’ll send you to a parallel Earth just before it falls.
That goddess might be a total lunatic, but she didn’t lie.
I know you’re in danger. And I have power. So let’s help each other.
That was the strategy I’d chosen. Truth was, even if it was an extinction-level crisis, I had no idea how or when it would hit, so of course I didn’t have a plan. Still, my baseless confidence would turn into grounded confidence this way, right?
“Well… some people from higher up will arrive shortly. Could we hear the details then?”
“Whenever you like.”
I nodded and lifted the paper cup with telekinesis. Their eyes went round.
“Even seeing it, I can’t believe it…”
“Hoo.”
Slurp.
The Han River coffee was incredibly bland. Still tasted good.
While I savored it, the wing commander called the duty officer.
“Duty officer. Check if the female officers’ lounge is free.”
“It was empty a moment ago, so we already secured it.”
“Good. Then for now, please rest a bit in the lounge…”
Following their lead, I stepped into the room labeled female lounge. Two beds, cotton blankets, pillows, a locker, a table, and a bathroom—a small room.
“Thank you.”
The door closed. I immediately raised my mana.
“Spatial dominance. Silence. Seal.”
Just in case, I put up the minimum protections, then finally alone I let out a long breath of relief and rubbed my chest.
“Shit, I thought I was gonna die of nerves.”
Only now did the risks in everything I’d done since Seoul start catching up with me. What if they’d taken my matching the fighters’ speed as a hostile act? What if I’d followed them down only to get guns pointed at me? After missing Earth so badly and finally coming home, ruining the first impression would have been absurd. I’d probably have just run defensively and that would have been it.
As I patted my chest I realized something else all over again. My chest had gotten bigger. Not just my chest. The sharp curve of my waist and hips were nothing like before either. Only when I looked in the bathroom mirror did it fully hit me.
“Goddamn it for real…”
Eyes with a faint red gleam. Untidy ash-gray hair falling past my shoulders. The hair and eye color had changed the moment I was dragged to the other world, so I was used to those—but the once-hard lines of my face had softened into something catlike and unmistakably feminine. I still couldn’t get used to it. The thick jawline had been carved sharp; the huge oxygen-intake of a nose was now small and high. And the massive body I’d refined over centuries and compressed through millennia of real combat had left no trace. I was definitely shorter too. Generously 170? Barefoot, probably mid-to-late 160s.
“Hup!”
I clenched my core and hit a side-chest pose, but all I got was a body with decent muscle. The vanished triceps, the slender shoulders, and—contrasting all of that—the unmistakable presence of breasts pushing clearly against the shirt.
“…Ha.”
Maybe this was a dream? If I just closed my eyes and opened them again, maybe I’d be a man once more. With that thought I rested until they came to fetch me.