Teaching Resolve
Bang! Bang-bang! Baaang! I trained hard with shooting practice too.
First, I taught my three hundred retainers about the iron cannons.
"Look here. Even a woman like me can fire this iron cannon easily."
"But aren't archers better at shooting farther?"
Right. Archers are more effective. At least until we develop guns superior to these, skilled archers would be preferable. Japan didn't overwhelm the Joseon army during the Imjin War just with matchlocks alone. The Joseon weapons were shorter compared to the Japanese ones, making it a tough matchup. And the Japanese had been refined through the Warring States period.
But here's the drawback. Training a proper archer takes a very long time, whereas iron cannon training is straightforward as long as we have enough guns. Plus, I planned to use the thunderous roar of the gunfire to startle even the charging Mongol cavalry.
"Archers take ages to master, but this is different. And that sound when it fires... Yes, the gunshot alone should terrify the cavalry. You are the elite of the Choi family. Master this gun and teach the recruits joining the Iron Cannon Byeolcho."
I explained to the retainers in a mechanical, emotionless voice—not the cute girl image I'd shown before, but a cold one. At least when handling soldiers, I needed to appear this way to avoid being dismissed.
And today, I'd thought of a rather extreme method. It could wait a bit longer, but with war looming, the retainers would demand someone with backbone. So...
"Spare me, please! I swear I won't come near again!"
The Dongjin bandits captured by Goryeo troops at the border—men slated for execution—were bound before me. Perfect targets to demonstrate my resolve.
Those are beasts. Just beasts that speak human words. I brainwashed myself repeatedly. I'd considered bringing actual animals, but to show true resolve, death row convicts were necessary.
"Even a woman like me, with barely any practice..."
Bang!
The bandit lost his life just like that.
"Can take them down this easily."
The faces of those who'd gazed at me cutely until recently turned deadly serious at my actions. No choice. I hadn't wanted this either. I didn't want to kill people, but it was unavoidable. So, whatever I saw before me was just a beast, not a person.
My body trembled. The iron cannon was light, but still... the recoil, I suppose. Anyway, I'd just eliminated someone who was going to die. What's wrong with that? It was just catching a bandit who invaded Goryeo. Nothing more.
"Milady, are you alright?"
Kim Jun asked cautiously, perhaps never imagining their lady would execute someone herself.
"It's just catching a beast that speaks human words."
So, I acted unfazed. That's all it was. I couldn't even understand what the dead man had said anyway. Not even proper Goryeo speech—how could I? It was just barbarian tongue. Of course, as someone who had to embrace the Jurchens, calling them barbarians was like spitting in the wind.
Having witnessed the iron cannon's power, the retainers had no choice but to acknowledge its performance. And perhaps because I'd personally killed a man, the retainers and the Iron Cannon Byeolcho soldiers following behind threw themselves into training with fervor.
The Dongjin bandits met their end as live targets. Shooting practice naturally followed. Reload and fire within twenty to thirty seconds. It consumed a fair bit of gunpowder, but with compost boosting crop yields even more, what could we do? It was preparation for potential war deployment and threats of assassination against me.
So, with this frail body, I trained diligently. And the seductive fox antics Father always mentioned? Only for him. Who knew what would become of the Choi family after he died. Favorites and traitors could flip in an instant.
If he named me successor and then died, others might eye my position later. Systematizing the Byeolcho Army firmly under the Choi family would leave nothing to fear, and possessing such a force would make me the perfect heir.
I'd push as far as I could. Makeup, silk clothes, jewelry, and chattering idly like other noble ladies? Not for me. Sometimes I wished I could live ordinarily without those thoughts. But I'd lusted too much after the successor role.
To be honest, my position now was like walking on thin ice. And in doing so, certain things caught my eye.
"Sis, why are you doing such grueling training?"
Manjong and Manjeon. The two had grown some; they looked decent enough holding swords now. But Father's words made it hard to see them as before.
Would these two covet my position? Or truly help me? Or could one suddenly become the military regent, leaving me content in the shadows? Inevitably, my gaze toward my brothers had changed.
The taller my achievements grew, the more handing it over to them felt like dissatisfaction brewing. Even so, could Father really say to kill these pitiful things? Was it because he was from the old ways?
No. It was my weakness. Even in later eras, power-hungry figures spilled brothers' blood countless times to seize control. Born as Choi U's daughter, I still clung to my past life's identity. Sure, being born as Choi Yeon had steeped me in this family's influence.
But killing these pitiful ones with my own hands? Still too hard. People would see me as a monster. Killing siblings for power—is that right?
"How could I just lean on you? You're still young. Do as much as you want while you can."
If only you'd chase women, booze, and weird antics like in the original history. Looking closely, calluses were forming on their hands. So Manjong and Manjeon were training hard too. But why bother when the guard barracks were full of men to protect me? Still, it looked good for now, so I let it be.
"Sis! I heard rumors of war with the Mongols lately!"
"Yeah?"
"We'll protect you!"
"Me?"
That was touching. Cute little brothers protecting me. What sibling bond could be better? Oh, a great idea hit me. Yes, perfect. Father would love it.
"Milady. Are you okay?"
Chunsim's been talkative lately. Well, she always was, but after bulking up making soap, she treated me like a friend.
"What do you mean?"
"You've been spacing out a lot recently."
"Not at all. Just lots of thinking."
This world felt less like a noble house's dream than I'd thought. Chunsim often looked at me anxiously. I was fine, though. This much was necessary, right? Reality and dreams are worlds apart. To win Father's approval, I had to show this side.
And Father did value it highly.
"Your expression's improved. Have you thought about what I said last time?"
Truthfully, I'd thought a lot. Being reborn into this family had influenced me. But even so, I couldn't just kill them recklessly.
If my authority overwhelmed everything and everyone worked for me, would I need to kill my brothers? I knew power's nature well: no parents, no siblings. Father said we weren't dragons, but in Joseon, the power-mad prince Yi Bangwon staged two princes' rebellions, didn't he? I didn't love Joseon, but if that Confucian Taliban state had to start, I figured Jeong Dojeon should've pushed a scholar-led government. I preferred his way over Yi Bangwon's. Not a land for power-crazed maniacs.
So I was similar. To remake Goryeo like the Roman Republic after me, I had to become successor. How long could a shadow role last? Nothing changes without me ascending directly. That's why I was co-opting the army. Overwhelming military backing made me untouchable.
But Father grew up watching Choi Chungheon and Choi Chungsu, and he himself drowned his brother Choi Hyang. To hold power, kill brothers or anyone—basic common sense ingrained in him. He cherished me but wanted me to have the resolve to kill siblings like him.
I somewhat agreed, but could I kill them so easily? Father seemed psychopathic to me. I had to match it. To enter his eyes, dye myself in his colors. Past-life Korean common sense wouldn't work. Kill emotions and become able to coldly cut down enemies like him. That much would reassure him, right?
At first, I thought it was a test to check my brotherly feelings—or lack thereof. Knowing power's nature, could I spare potential rivals? But seeing Father, it was sincere. I had to show resolve to kill them.
But to do that, I'd go one better.
"Forgive me, but I can't kill them."
"Why not."
"I've cherished them all this time. How could I do great things like that."
It'd please Father, but I'd go further. Blindly killing people was unwise.
"So you admit it. That'll be your downfall."
"Killing brothers I've doted on would draw the world's finger-pointing."
True fact. A woman who saved them from monkhood, now drowning them for power? How would people see it? They'd fear me outwardly but curse and mock inwardly.
Better to use my head. Their existence was the issue, not the method of death.
"So, what do you want?"
"Personally, I view war positively."
I saw war very favorably. Depending on how it broke out, it upended everything. The Goryeo-Liao wars ensured Liao never invaded again; the Yeo-Mong wars toppled the military regime; Imjin and Byeongja devastated Joseon. Far future, the 6.25 War shattered old orders, letting Korea rise from ashes. War was brutal, but also good.
"War? Why bring up war suddenly?"
War was the key. It'd satisfy you at least.
"War is brutal, but it lets anything become pretext. Like a downpour washing everything clean."
Father's eyes widened.
"Go on."
"When the time comes, those two brothers will step up to protect me. If I ask them to fight at the border, they will. Let the Mongol army handle them, and my hands stay clean."
"That's hindsight."
"I've educated them since childhood to cover it. They'd leap into fire at their sister's word. Their lives are mine anytime."
I smiled brightly. Did I really need to kill brothers myself? Laughably, at some point, I'd started calling the man before me "Father" with true sincerity. I'd admitted I was part of this psychopathic family too. No different from them.