Chapter 1
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Translator: MadScientist
Chapter: 1
Chapter Title: A Perfect Life Plan... It Was
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A perfect life plan... it was.
I realized I was a reincarnate when I was nine.
Slap!
The moment my damn eldest brother slapped me across the face for having an ugly mug, the shock brought back memories of my previous life.
"...Eureka!"
I ignored my eldest brother, who was staring at me like I'd lost my mind, and bolted straight to the study.
After devouring history books and all sorts of scholarly tomes, I was certain.
This was the world from that fantasy novel I'd read.
And I was the fifth child of the Bilheim Grand Duchy in the northern continent—the so-called house of the Duke of the North, as mentioned in the story.
"...Hmm. Okay."
The instant I closed the last book, my life plan was already perfectly mapped out in my head.
"Now I just live it up."
I had the original story's knowledge, a solid backing as a duke's son, and this life came with decent looks to boot.
A life of pure luxury.
Of course, our family's territory in the northern reaches of the continent was monster-infested hellhole where beasts raided whenever they felt like it—real estate-wise, it was beyond a toxic asset; straight-up unsellable toxic waste.
But that wasn't my problem.
My father, the great Duke of the North Palthion Bilheim, would pass the title to one of my four older brothers—who were all desperate for it after his retirement—and that lucky fool would suffer guarding the land.
All I had to do was hide in the back and enjoy the honey.
And so, I became the Bilheim Family's prodigal son.
While my brothers slaved away, bleeding and sweating to catch Father's eye and claim the duchy and family headship,
I slept when I wanted, ate when I wanted, played when I wanted, and once I hit adulthood, I boozed it up and fooled around with women now and then.
Naturally, no one in the family thought kindly of me.
My brothers, who already looked down on me, stopped treating me like a person altogether once I went full prodigal.
Father tried to "correct" me with beatings full of "love," calling me the family's disgrace.
But no one could crush my dream of sucking on that sweet freeloading life.
In the end, the whole family gave up on me, treating me like a disgrace and pretending I didn't exist.
Of course, I couldn't care less.
I never wanted much to do with scum like my brothers or father anyway—their personalities weren't just rock-bottom; they'd drilled straight through to the underworld.
Me, Robertus Bilheim? Unlike my four older brothers from Father's first wife, I was the only child of his second wife, my mother.
The first wife hated my mother and me for stealing Father's attention, and that hatred passed straight down to her sons.
They'd brawl among themselves for Father's favor, but the moment I showed up, they'd team up like one body to torment me.
Father neglected me, saying I was underdeveloped compared to my brothers and had a weak disposition.
Before regaining my past-life memories, Robertus had lived a heartbreaking life—losing his mother, enduring his brothers' bullying, desperately striving for Father's approval. The kind you couldn't watch without tears.
So after getting those memories back, I chewed it over and vowed to forge my own badass path.
If the Bilheim Family had been a proper house, maybe I'd have lived up to the name with honest effort...
Unfortunately, the Bilheim Grand Duchy was full of trash who pulled crap both inside and outside the family,
and I had zero intention of becoming one of them.
Anyway, that's how I finally got the life I wanted.
No family meddling whatsoever, squandering just enough of the family fortune to avoid setting Father off completely, free to play and waste away.
Even the territory's folks pointed fingers, calling me "the Bilheim Family's prodigal son," but whatever.
Once one of my brothers took over as head, I'd grab the secretly stashed cash and bail to another country.
A perfect life plan, meticulously plotted down to the future.
Amazed at my own thoroughness, I lounged on the bedroom sofa today too, chugging premium wine straight from the bottle.
Of course, it wasn't entirely worry-free.
First off, my knowledge of the original story was incomplete.
The novel was still serializing at the last point I'd read, and the Bilheim Family only got passing mentions like "Something happened in the Duke of the North's territory"—barely a line or two as background.
And second, a super low-probability worry—basically pointless, but...
"What if I end up inheriting the Bilheim Family?"
Like, really if. Just suppose it happened.
...But I snorted and shoved the thought aside.
"Yeah, right? With four brothers ahead of me."
No ninjas popping out to massacre Father and all four brothers at once, that wasn't happening.
I washed the pointless fantasy down with wine and pondered what dopamine hit to chase tomorrow, happily.
"Ugh..."
Clutching my pounding hangover head, I opened the door to Father's study.
Five pairs of contemptuous eyes greeted me.
I ignored them and slouched to the far left spot in the row of my brothers standing rigidly at attention before the desk.
"...I have an important matter to inform you all of today."
Father, seated behind the desk, struck a needlessly grave pose as he began.
"Last night, a letter arrived from the Holy Capital."
Holy Capital Arundel.
Capital of the Radain Holy Kingdom, where our Bilheim territory lay.
The center of power and holy ground of the Radain Church.
"-In two months, the Holy Capital Assembly will convene."
My brothers stirred all at once. I was a bit surprised too.
"It's only March—already? Earlier than usual."
"Indeed, William. Seems they've advanced it due to urgent matters like selecting the next saintess or the pope's successor."
Excitement lit up my brothers' faces.
The Holy Capital Assembly.
A triennial gathering where high-ranking clergy and lords from across the lands convened in the capital to debate the kingdom's major affairs—a sort of congress.
Naturally, with all the bigwigs in one place, it doubled as a networking event to make a name for yourself and build elite connections.
That's why my brothers were buzzing: shining there could give them an edge in the succession race.
"Yawn~"
Not that it had anything to do with me.
"The distance from Bilheim territory to the Holy Capital is considerable, so to make the accelerated schedule, we must depart as early as possible."
Father's gaze swept over my four brothers.
"Of course, it's also to give you ample time before the assembly to prove your worth."
Father gazed fondly at his disciplined sons.
"With that settled, prepare to depart at once."
As my brothers filed out, I dawdled in place.
A life hack I'd picked up as the Bilheim prodigal.
Better not to leave with them and risk their bullshit.
"..."
But I had to endure Father's icy stare while waiting.
Once their footsteps faded, I started to slip out.
"Robertus."
Father called as he rose from his chair.
"..."
I sighed inwardly, predicting his next move.
I'd wondered why summon me if they weren't taking me to the assembly—ah, for this.
No choice, I approached and stood before him.
Thwack!
His heavy fist smashed into my nose.
Hit so hard, I crumpled to the floor, unable to withstand the impact.
"Worthless weakling worm."
He rubbed his knuckles with a handkerchief like he'd touched filth.
"Don't dream of us dragging a family disgrace like you to the assembly."
"...Yes."
"While I'm away with your brothers, don't even think of any nonsense."
"Yes."
"Get out."
Clutching my gushing nose, I staggered from the study.
It hurt like hell, sure, but the beating itself didn't piss me off much.
Kindness is something you expect from people.
And after both wives died, Father cut loose, raping women across the territory willy-nilly—I didn't consider him human anymore.
Just days ago, a villager whose wife he'd raped charged at Father in rage during a patrol and got his head lopped off by the guards.
...
Anyway, better forget the shitty memories quick.
Too busy plotting how to party while those human trash were gone for months.
And two days later, Father and my brothers really left the mansion.
I was thrilled, needless to say.
Freedom, no prying eyes.
I went all out, boozing and blowing cash in blissful days.
A week later.
Knock knock.
"Ugh..."
Mid-hangover groan on the sofa from last night's wild salon bash, someone knocked on my bedroom door.
-It's Eline.
"Eline? ...Oh, right."
The new maid assigned to me.
Seventeen, sharp as a tack despite her youth, always stone-faced—stuck in my memory.
She barged in before I could reply.
Her long sky-blue hair swaying as she approached, she stopped right before my sofa-slumped self, clasped her hands neatly, and bowed crisply.
The maid with impeccable poise in every gesture, sharp eyes laced with formality.
But I read bewilderment on Eline's face.
"...What's wrong?"
First time seeing her rattled—she always kept that poker face, no matter what.
"Please stay calm and hear me out, Master Robertus."
A bad feeling bloomed in my chest.
"The family head and the other young masters were attacked by a dragon."
"?"
"A messenger just rushed here with the news. En route to the Holy Capital, a White Dragon ambushed them—the entire Bilheim party perished."
"??"
"...Lord Palthion and the other four young masters, all of them."
"???"
"I know it's shocking, but... Master Robertus, you are now the head of the Bilheim Family."