That Day, I Skipped Games for the First Time

That day, I skipped games for the first time. Normally, no matter if we'd done scrims or not, I'd jump straight into solo queue. But not that day.

I wasted the hours away so pointlessly that I couldn't even remember how the day passed. I slept, woke up, and it was already lunchtime. My mind was annoyingly clear.

Checking my phone, there were a few missed calls from while I was asleep. It was the director. His message said to call him back as soon as I woke up.

It didn't seem related to the call I'd made yesterday. He probably had something to tell me. He'd likely heard about yesterday's scrim results, so that must be it.

It was lunchtime already, so I called him right away.

...I froze for a second. I knew I had to say it, but asking him to find a sub mid with my own mouth still felt repulsive.

But I couldn't just stay silent anymore.

I had zero intention of giving up.

The director let out a long sigh. Even over the phone, I could tell he was uncomfortable.

And out of nowhere, he apologized to me.

If they signed yesterday, that means they did it before seeing my scrims, right?

The timeline didn't match for them scouting someone after assessing my state from scrims.

...A hollow feeling washed over me. Betrayal? Something like that.

I hadn't spent my whole pro career at Tundra Silver Airs. Two years at my debut team, two at Tundra. I wasn't thrilled with my results there, but I wasn't ashamed either.

But they didn't believe in me.

...I wouldn't blame the front office. I'm a pro—if my skill drops, they should cut me without mercy. But doing it before scrim results, before my true state was clear? That hit hard.

No take-backs now. We needed another mid, and AOD was the best option available. He'd wasted a whole season on a bottom-tier team, but his skill was more than enough—overflowing, even.

Plus, spring season Round 1 roster registration was coming up soon. The front office insuring early was shocking from my view, but the right call overall. Starting the search today would've been tough.

The front office hadn't done wrong. It was foresight, the best play for the organization.

That made me even angrier.

Not at them—at myself, for forcing this situation.

AOD. What was his real name again? Whatever—he wouldn't have wanted to waste another full season, so it was probably a welcome offer. And Tundra Silver Airs was a powerhouse; low chance of tanking like last year.

The call ended. I flopped right back onto the bed. My chest jiggled a bit. Wow, this thing actually bounces.

My mood was weird. Angry at myself, betrayed by the front office, hollow yet relieved all at once. Complicated mess. One clear thing: it wasn't a good feeling.

...Whatever. Who am I?

Seo Yeonwoo, Dice. ECL Champs 1-time champ, three-time Eld Cup runner-up. Runner-up's still damn good, even if it stings. But no way I'd settle for this state.

I'll come back, no doubt.

Hah, if they thought this setback would stop me, big mistake. Slowly but surely, my skill was returning. AOD? He won't hold that spot long. Sorry, man—sending you to the bench after signing.

My goal was never you anyway. Just one: Proud, and Eld Cup victory.

Until then, I'm not dead.

I stood, slapping my cheeks hard with both hands. My soft skin stung.

"Ow! That hurts, shit."

But my head was clear now.

No time to mope.

Yesterday was too slack. Wasting time spacing out when I should've been grinding.

No more of that starting today.

I booted up the PC and logged into my smurf account.

...Until I win it back,

I won't stop pouring coins into this game.

My dice are still rolling.

I'll reclaim my spot for sure.

"Sick my ass."

It's not that I'm sick and fucked—it's that I fucked off, shit.