A Person Who Doesn't Exist

The Valkyries had gone, and night wind was already seeping in through the gaps in the shattered iron door.

Yun-ha noona sat wordlessly in front of a monitor, checking something over and over. Ha-rin held Nir on her lap, arms wrapped tight around him as if trying to put him to sleep.

And me — the only one left standing in the middle of this ruined basement like someone with nowhere left to go.

Real Valkyries. Recovery. Disposal.

I still couldn't tell whether any of this was reality or fantasy.

If it was reality, what kind of unforgivable crime had I committed in a past life? Sold out my country or something?

I'd just wanted a normal college life — campus romance, the usual freshman dreams. Why did spectacular disasters like this keep exploding from the very start of my university years?

But before any of that, there was something I needed to confirm.

"You've got a face full of questions, don't you? Who those Valkyries just now were. Who the bastard that killed you was. How you're still alive. And what that body of yours even is. Right?"

Ha-rin looked me over, then spoke in a flat, unbothered voice.

My head went cold in an instant.

She was right. That was exactly what I wanted to ask.

"Those guys earlier were Valkyries. Asgard's enforcement unit. As you can see, they're completely unreasonable and do whatever they want."

"…Didn't you say I was a Valkyrie too?"

"You are, more precisely, a Valkyrie replica bio-android. An ancient masterpiece of Nidavellir — the dwarf blacksmiths, basically — designed so that once a soul is installed, it becomes a body identical to a real Valkyrie."

Dwarves… At this rate, fairies were going to pop out next.

"Then… what about that 'Chairman' they mentioned? They said it was on the Chairman's orders. Like they'd known about me from the start."

"Odin, the highest god of Asgard. I think it's because of his Authority… but there will be another chance to talk about that later. Anything else you're curious about?"

I took a deep breath and decided to ask the thing I wanted to know most.

"Then who was the guy who killed me?"

"That one was a fragment of the god Freyr. In simple terms, one of Freyr's Incarnations. His name in this life is Kang Jun-cheol. Even before all this, he was a stalker type who kept obsessing over me while spouting nonsense about world peace."

"…Do all of you have some incurable disease that makes it impossible to talk like normal people?"

I said it with a slight edge of sarcasm, and Ha-rin let out a disbelieving little laugh.

Freyr? Fragment? Incarnation?

These weren't the names of newly released mobile game characters. Hearing fantasy jargon like this, there was no way I could react properly.

"You really don't have any Authority — or even memories of your past life? How does this keep happening every single time?"

I was about to fire something back at Ha-rin when Yun-ha noona suddenly stuck her head in from behind, and I lost my timing.

"Freyr is the god of the sun and abundance who appears in Norse mythology."

Wow… now we were getting into mythology. At this point I was confident I could just nod blankly even if Greek, Roman, and Dangun mythology all came as a package deal.

"…What are you people, really? You, Ha-rin. And Yun-ha noona. And that little kid too."

At my follow-up question, Ha-rin and Yun-ha noona's gazes both turned toward me at once.

An answer didn't come right away.

Yun-ha noona spun in her chair for a bit, adjusted her glasses, and looked at me.

The way she settled into a serious weight, like some shadowy mastermind from a movie, made it feel like she was about to drop an offer I couldn't refuse.

"I figured once we installed a soul into a Valkyrie, the past-life memories would come flooding back, so everything would resolve itself without any annoying — I mean, complicated — explanations. That's why we never really explained things properly."

…She was definitely about to say "annoying" just now.

As if she'd read the look in my eyes, noona cracked open a canned coffee, slurped it, and avoided my gaze.

"What memories are you talking about?"

"Hmm~ Memories of a past life?"

…Was she a Taoist sage instead of a mythological being?

"Anyway, let me introduce myself properly. My name is Jo Yun-ha. In my past life I was sometimes called by the very cool title 'Incarnation of the End,' but usually people just called me Jormungandr."

"Jormungandr…? That snake shadow that was overlapping your body earlier…?"

It was a name I'd only ever known from webtoon and game boss monsters.

"Ding ding ding~ But right now I'm just a graduate student slave chained to student loans and my professor…"

In a past life she'd been the World Serpent of the end times, and in this life she was trapped by nothing more than student loans and a professor.

It was so brutally realistic that a hollow laugh almost escaped me.

"Anyway, mythology isn't just some old fairy tale people made up. ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠Hmm… how should I explain this so little Sang-hae can understand?"

Yun-ha noona launched into a long-winded explanation — that mythological beings reborn as humans were called Incarnations, and their power was called Authority. To my already overloaded brain, it all just sounded like white noise humming in the background.

Did she seriously think a normal college student would just go, "Ah, yes, of course," when someone started rambling about gods and Jormungandr?

Yun-ha noona gave me a look that said she understood, took another sip of canned coffee, and continued.

"To Incarnations like us, mythology isn't all that different from a diary you wrote and slept on yesterday. That's why old grudges sometimes carry over into the present."

The hidden truths of this world kept spilling out so casually that my sanity was one step from snapping.

"Anyway, continuing the introductions — Nir is the wolf of the end, Fenrir. He was born as a puppy this time around, but luckily he got help from the Taoist side and can transform into a human now."

Wow… okay then. Transform… Taoist arts?

This was after hearing that this little kid turned into a wolf and that Yun-ha noona was a snake or whatever.

So I figured I should just accept whatever came next at this point — but I still needed a little more time before any of it would actually sink in.

"Then what about you? If Yun-ha noona is a snake and Nir is a wolf, are you a monster too? What the hell are you, really?"

I finally threw the question I'd been holding back this whole time at Ha-rin — the one who'd forcibly dragged me into this bizarre chain of supernatural disasters.

"I'm nothing. In the past I was sometimes called by grand names like the Trickster, or the enemy of the gods, but…"

Trickster? A con artist?

Ha-rin paused for a moment, then swept her hair back.

"The me of now is just Lee Ha-rin. Just one human who wants to enjoy this boring, peaceful present-day life."

When I just stared at her without saying anything, Ha-rin let out a long sigh.

"I'm going to enjoy college like everyone else and graduate on time. Then I'll pass the teacher certification exam, become a teacher, and teach students. When those students grow up and come visit me, I want to praise them and tell them they turned out well."

A humble little dream that had nothing in common with the force she'd shown earlier when a single word — "Attack" — had commanded a beast of the end.

"…That's kind of like me."

I muttered it under my breath, and Ha-rin snorted a quiet laugh.

"But in the world of us Incarnations, even living an ordinary life takes power. So I managed to procure one Valkyrie unit to boost our combat strength a little — and somehow you ended up tangled up in it."

…It had been almost heartwarming, so why did the ending have to be a dig at me?

"You heard that, little Sang-hae? If we want to live in peace, strengthening our forces is essential."

Yun-ha noona patted the shoulder ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠of a somehow bitter-looking Ha-rin as she spoke to me.

"…Am I even useful as combat strength?"

"Of course! The foundation of combat strength is numbers — sheer headcount!"

…That somehow sounded like she was telling me to be a meat shield. I really hoped I was mishearing.

Undigested words tangled and buzzed inside my head. But before any of that, there was something I needed to confirm first.

"…Um. Could I just go home for today?"

At my words, Yun-ha noona's hands stopped on the keyboard.

"It's late… and my noona will be worried. What if she files a missing person report?"

When I pleaded, Yun-ha noona propped one cheek on her hand and clicked her tongue.

"Oh dear. You still haven't grasped the situation at all, have you?"

"Excuse me?"

A missing person report would put me in a really bad spot, but Yun-ha noona looked completely unbothered.

I looked to Ha-rin for an explanation, but she turned her head away, avoiding my eyes.

"That Valkyrie unit has a function called Causality Forced Correction installed. The moment a soul is fitted, the original existence is erased and reborn as a new entity — a Valkyrie."

"…Erased? My existence?"

The words I understood absolutely none of that were probably written across my face in bold gothic type.

Yun-ha noona sipped her canned coffee and smiled lazily.

"Simply put, it's a feature the manufacturer was blackmailed into installing so no one would catch on that it's a replica and start making trouble. It completely overwrote the fundamental fact that your original body was the male Lee Sang-hae and buried it from the world."

When Yun-ha noona finished, Ha-rin stared at my face for a moment, then looked aside as she added,

"Except for us, only High Sync Incarnations who can see through to your essence might feel a sense of wrongness. But if it's family — ordinary people…"

As Ha-rin's words trailed off, Yun-ha noona picked up the baton.

"In ordinary people's memories, the existence called 'Lee Sang-hae' will be erased or distorted very naturally. In short, the you of right now is a person who doesn't exist — not in anyone's memory, and not on any paperwork."

"……"

Silence settled over the basement.

A person who doesn't exist.

I understood what the words meant with my head, but somehow it didn't feel real. No — my brain was refusing to understand.

"Then what about my noona? In her memories too?"

No one answered. But that silence was the answer itself.

"You… you already knew…!"

My voice shook with rage.

"From the moment you put the soul in. No — from before you even put it in, you knew. So why are you only telling me now? I risked my life for you people today… and the whole time you just kept your mouths shut, knowing my entire world had been wiped out?"

"Little Sang-hae, that was a matter of timing…"

"Don't you dare say there was no good time to tell me."

Yun-ha noona's words seemed to catch in her throat; the corners of her eyes drooped.

At that, Ha-rin set Nir down and stood up from her seat.

"Calm down. It's dangerous outside right now…"

"Shut up! I'm going to see it with my own eyes!"

I ran for the shattered iron door.

"Hey! You can't go out right now! Asgard might still be watching!"

Ha-rin's shout came from behind me, but I had already slammed through the basement door and was running through the streets.

I couldn't think about anything else. I just kept running blindly, glancing back over and over, half-expecting a monster wolf to be chasing me.

My breath burned all the way up to my throat, but I couldn't stop.

Just one thought ruled my head: I had to check. I had to confirm with my own eyes that what they'd said was a lie.

After running for a long time, I suddenly came back to myself and found a strangely familiar alley entering my vision.

There were no bloodstains on the asphalt, but nausea surged up from deep inside me.

This was the exact alley where I'd been murdered.

The terror of death was still vivid, but the face of the madman who'd killed me was hazy as fog. Whether it was a defense mechanism of the body or whether something had really gone wrong with my head, I couldn't tell.

After running a while longer, a main road appeared.

From here on, I knew the way. There was a subway station nearby too.

But since my clothes had been changed, my pockets held nothing — no transit card, no wallet. It was only one stop anyway, so I decided to just keep running.

I didn't run into anyone I knew along the way.

Maybe because I was running so fast, I felt more eyes on me than usual — but after about ten minutes of running, I finally reached my house.

Thankfully, it was still there in the residential neighborhood, looking exactly the way I remembered from the outside.

See? It's fine. It's still here.

Beep-beep-beep. Click.

The tips of my fingers trembled faintly as I pressed the ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠door lock. Thankfully, the password was the same.

But the moment the lock disengaged and I threw the door open, I froze solid.

The layout of the house was identical, but the interior was completely different from my memories. The photo of my parents hanging on the wall was faded as if it had been neglected for years, and the whole house was coated in white dust.

I opened my noona's door, but there was no trace of her there ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠either — only old dust piled thick.

More than anything, nowhere in our house could I find a single trace of me. The dining table and sink I'd left messy from cooking were clean and empty. The room that had been mine was just a vacant space with dust settled white over everything. Not a single object Lee Sang-hae had used, not a book, not even one piece of clothing existed.

I stood dazed in the living room for I don't know how long, then walked back outside.

"Student, who are you? I've never seen your face around this neighborhood. Why are you coming out of that house?"

As I stepped out the front gate, I ran into the auntie from next door, looking at me with suspicious eyes.

"Ah, I, um…"

I pointed at our house and stammered, babbling nonsense.

"Hello. I'm a friend of Sang-hae who lives here."

"Who? That place is empty."

My heart dropped.

"Ah, look at me. I came looking for Sang-hwa noona… I mean, Sang-hwa unnie. Doesn't she live here? Until half a year ago she and I were living here together…"

"Sang-hwa? After the couple who lived here passed away, I think their only daughter moved somewhere else. Who did you say you were looking for?"

I stopped listening to the auntie and bolted into the alley like I was fleeing.

This was the neighborhood that had been burned so strongly into my memory — but right now, these streets felt as foreign as someone else's town.

I wandered the neighborhood without direction until a convenience store caught my eye, and I went inside. It wasn't because I had anything to buy. I didn't have a single won. I just wanted to stand under fluorescent lights.

Doing my best to ignore the part-timer at the counter glancing my way, I stood blankly in front of the fridge, then mustered the courage to open my mouth.

"Excuse me, I'm sorry, but I lost my phone. Could I borrow yours for just one call?"

The part-timer looked at my face and readily held out their phone. They probably wouldn't have lent it if I weren't a girl.

The thought crossed my mind, but this wasn't the time to dwell on that.

My fingers still remembered my own phone number.

With trembling hands, I pressed eleven digits.

The mechanical voice rang in my ears.

I pressed it again.

The same message came back.

One more time…

The same message……

"Hey, the phone."

"…Thank you."

At the part-timer's pointed look, I left a mumbled thanks in a shrinking voice and walked out of the convenience store.

Outside, I walked like someone half out of their mind.

It was only much later that I remembered the phone that had been jammed into the back pocket of my shorts. The one Yun-ha noona had tossed me in the basement, joking that it was "little Sang-hae's keepsake."

I hurried to turn it on, but the screen that lit up showed only a cold system alert saying there was no SIM card.

There were no classmates from my department. Not even the departmental group chat that used to ping me at all hours with completely pointless notifications.

On my phone, not a single trace of the twenty-year-old male college student Lee Sang-hae existed anywhere.

Like a perfectly factory-reset empty device, nothing remained.

As if the world had completely erased me, I existed nowhere at all.

"Haha…"

A hollow laugh slipped out.

Even more than when I'd realized I had actually died — even more than when I'd discovered that my most precious part had vanished entirely — an extreme emptiness and despair seemed to crush my whole body without mercy.

With truly vicious timing, the drizzle that had been falling from the sky thickened into a downpour heavy enough to blot out my vision.

I just walked blankly along the rain-soaked road.

There was no destination.

For an uninvited guest who no longer existed anywhere in this world, there was nowhere left to return to.

The noona who used to scold me.

The neighbors I used to see every day.

Even the fact that a man named Lee Sang-hae had ever lived in this world — they had all forgotten it.

I had been thrown alone into this vast world inside a completely unfamiliar woman's body.

I kept walking through the rain.

My whole body was soaked, clothes plastered to my skin, and passersby pointed and whispered — but I didn't care.

When a few rough-looking men approached me with excessive friendliness, offering to share their umbrellas while pressing close, I tasted a misery so deep I wanted to die.

I shoved them away on pure reflex. Not only did the adult men's bodies bounce off like paper dolls — a dull impact sound and screams followed.

Again. Just like when I'd crushed the remote, I'd failed to control my strength again.

My heart was on the verge of collapsing, but my body was casually, effortlessly strong. That disconnect was so vicious it only made me feel more wretched.

I started running to escape the curses coming from behind. After running for a long time, the place I finally stopped was a strange alley I'd never seen before.

In front of a utility pole where the streetlight flickered, the strength left my legs and I sank down right there.

As if speaking for the state of my head, a roar of thunder split the sky and a sharp bolt of lightning tore through my vision.

Streams of water — tears or rain, I couldn't tell — ran down my face until I couldn't even open my eyes properly.

I hadn't cried when I died. I'd somehow held it together even when I found out I'd become a woman.

But the fact that my existence had been erased from the world — I had no idea how to endure that.

How long did I sit there like that?

"Found pretty noona!"

A small shadow cut through the rough sound of rain and threw itself into my arms.

His hat had come off, revealing beast ears twitching on top of his head — it was Nir.

"I found noona! I found you by smell! Noona saved me earlier. So if noona disappears or gets in danger, this time I'll save you."

The warmth in my arms was so sudden that I forgot I had been crying and just stared blankly down at that little head.

And the rain pouring over my head stopped.

Through the dull sound of raindrops hitting an umbrella, a voice catching its breath reached me.

"Haa… So you ran out just to sit somewhere like this and wallow? You're only fast enough to make chasing you a pain."

Ha-rin looked down at me, holding an umbrella. The umbrella was tilted completely toward me, so her own shoulders and hair were soaked through.