The Former Hero Who Hanged Himself (3)
The Hero had committed suicide.
"...That's a lie."
But Alice refused to believe those words.
No. She didn't want to believe them.
"It's all a lie, isn't it?"
When had it started? At first, simply being at the Hero's side had been enough. Just hearing his voice, just seeing his face—that alone had satisfied her.
But as time passed, that feeling swelled beyond all control. Greed crept in, and before she knew it she had discovered the desire to keep him entirely to herself. Lately she had even grown jealous of the companions who stayed near him.
As a servant of the Goddess she knew she shouldn't feel this way, yet she could not bring herself to abandon the emotion. In the end, instead of repenting, she chose to turn her back on the Goddess's teachings.
The petition. Alice had added a single line to it.
That in every village the Hero visited he had forcibly molested women and tried to force himself on them.
Perhaps this was the punishment for that now.
"My condolences, Saintess."
At the knight's words, Alice simply collapsed. She shook her head endlessly, denying it.
"No, that can't be. There's no way the Hero would..."
Why had it come to this? What exactly had she done wrong?
All she had wanted was to monopolize the Hero's side. Just that one thing. Was that so terribly wrong?
Now she could no longer see him, hear him, or touch him ever again.
Truly, forever.
"...Heh."
Drip—
The moment the thought fully formed—that she would never meet Kyle again—something snapped inside her mind. Like a marionette with its strings cut, her body went limp, then her shoulders began to shake.
"Ehehe."
Alice giggled. She no longer wanted to believe anything. Not the liar who claimed the Hero had killed himself. Not the nonsense spouted by that so-called Goddess. Not even herself.
She could believe nothing except the Hero.
"Lies... it's all lies. Right, Hero? I know everything! I know you're still alive! Because I believe in you!!"
"S-Saintess..."
"Ahahaha—"
She was laughing, yet tears fell without pause from her unfocused eyes. Faced with that broken sight, the knight floundered and turned to Emilia's group for help, but they had no room to spare for Alice either.
Muni had already vanished somewhere, and Emilia was walking down the corridor.
Click. Click.
She intended to confirm it with her own eyes. Toward the slums where Kyle had lived. Toward the house that supposedly held his corpse.
"Hah... hah..."
But her steps were desperately unsteady. Her legs trembled; her breath came in gasps as if she might die at any moment. She could barely walk by bracing herself against the wall.
Recalling the conversation she had shared with him yesterday, she bit down hard on her lip.
"Kyle, is this what you meant?"
I came looking for you, Emilia. Because I wanted to give you one last chance.
"So 'last chance' only meant something this cheap."
Emilia. Think carefully. This is your last chance.
"Ha."
She laughed as if it were absurd. Only the corners of her mouth were trembling.
Last chance. To think that last chance had meant this.
Click. Click.
The hollow sound of her heels echoed as she descended the stairs.
"Kh—"
Creeeak—
The hand braced against the wall slipped, and she tumbled to the bottom of the stairs. Her hair was a mess; her clothes were covered in dust. She tried to rise again, but her legs only shook and refused to move.
She no longer had the strength to go the rest of the way, nor the courage to face Kyle's corpse herself.
She sank down where she was and muttered,
"How could anyone throw their life away over something this small, over something this trivial."
Emilia wore an expression of utter disbelief. Having watched Kyle for the past five years, she knew. No matter what hardship or trial came, Hero Kyle never gave up. She had seen with her own eyes how he overcame every despairing situation and vaulted over every impossible wall.
So she had believed he would endure this time as well. The Kyle she knew was like that—and he had to be like that.
But for him to take his own life...
Don't regret it, Emilia. Think carefully about the choice you make today.
"Ah."
In that instant, the words Kyle had spoken came back to her. Yesterday. The last thing he had said to her before he left.
Only now did she understand. Regret and choice. What those words of his had truly meant.
"Don't tell me... I killed him?"
Even saying it herself, she could not believe it. No—she did not want to believe it. That she had killed Kyle. There was no more horrifying statement than that.
"That can't be! I only... I only wanted you..."
Yet how had it come to this? This was not in any script of her plans. She had thought that for Kyle, who had overcome countless adversities, this much would be child's play. Who could have imagined that the Hero who defeated even the Demon King would fail to endure something this minor and kill himself?
"That's right. Kyle was the one at fault from the start. If you had just accepted my proposal, none of this would have happened. If you had simply listened to me, both of us could have been happy..."
In the end Emilia shoved every last scrap of responsibility onto Kyle. She could not endure it any other way. If she admitted that her own choice had killed him, she felt she would go mad on the spot.
"Hu... huhu..."
Emilia laughed with a deathly pale face. But it was no longer an arrogant, leisurely smile.
"Huhu, I didn't do anything wrong. It's all Kyle's fault for making that choice. Yes, everything is Kyle's fault. Kyle..."
It was a self-mocking laugh. The smile of a clown who had lost everything.
Desert weather was as fickle as a child's mood. Unlike the sun-scorched days, the pre-dawn hours now plunged below freezing. On top of that, a sandstorm had blown up out of nowhere, and I spat out the grit that had gotten into my mouth.
"Pteh. Pteh. Damn. It's fucking freezing."
Three hours before the fake corpse would be discovered.
I had slipped out of the Empire's city and was walking through the desert. But the figure I cut now was not that of Hero Kyle.
The Disguise Mask I had bought from the Necromancer. From the moment I left the house I had been wearing it over my face. At first it had felt repulsive, but once I actually put it on it wasn't all that uncomfortable. Breathing was easy and my vision was clear. It simply felt like wearing a mask with proper holes for the eyes, nose, and mouth.
"Right. So where should I go?"
I unfolded a map and looked around. First priority was getting out of the Empire. Even with a different face, running into my former companions would do me no good. More than that, I didn't even want to see them.
"Head north from here and it's the Republic, huh."
First, the Barsha Republic. The frontmost line, a nation still locked in endless large and small wars with the demonkin; I had been there often myself. The northern front especially bordered the demon lands, so it fought the remnants of the Demon King's army three hundred sixty-five days a year. Lately there had been talk that the remnants' resistance was fierce and manpower was short, but—
"Well, not my fucking problem."
Demons, wars—none of that had anything to do with me anymore. I naturally turned my gaze south.
"Then it's the Kingdom after all."
The Runel Kingdom. A rear region completely opposite the demon lands, a country of developed culture far removed from war. I had never been there myself. Always fighting on the front lines, I had only ever heard rumors. Word was the climate was warm, tourist spots thrived, and it was famous as a vacation destination.
There was no reason to deliberate long. I decided on the Kingdom.
"Yeah. Vacations belong in the south."
Of course, the place that might need me right now was the Republic. If I went there I could probably be of great help. But why should I? I was no longer the Hero. There was no longer any reason for me to sacrifice and devote myself for humanity. From the moment they discarded me, I had decided I would never draw my sword for anyone else's sake again.
From this moment on, my blade would be swung not to protect others, but solely for myself. The half-dead Demon King leftovers could be cleaned up by whoever remained, and even if they failed, there would be the Hero Damian who would be born a few years from now. The rest they could handle on their own.
"All right then. Let's get going."
And so I headed straight south. Across the desert, over the mountains, and finally borrowing a boatman's vessel to cross the sea—I arrived in the Kingdom in a week. Once inside the city I went straight to look for a house. A space of my own that would take responsibility for the rest of my life and guarantee eternal rest.
I found a real-estate office, and a receptionist greeted me.
"Excuse me, I'm looking for a house."
"Yes. Do you have any particular conditions in mind?"
"Somewhere with good sunlight and a nice view, a place I can comfortably spend my retirement years—got anything like that?"
"...Pardon?"
The receptionist tilted her head in confusion. Oops. I'd listed my demands too haphazardly. Got a little carried away.
"Um, yes, I understand. First, could I have your name?"
"Ah, my name..."
At the receptionist's question I hesitated a moment. Hero Kyle. The name I had used ever since coming to this world. But that name would never appear in the world again. Hero Kyle was dead now.
Instead of the name Kyle, I spoke the name that belonged to me now.
"Elin. My name is Elin."
Yes. This was my second name.
A new life.