Standing in the Trash Line
Hammer-chan, come here. The mob girl keeps glancing at my face. Is she gauging me?
"Th-this... language recognition response confirmed. Obedience to commands, good."
What the hell? She's muttering to herself nonstop. Wait, she looks super otaku! I feel a sense of kinship!
"U-um, p-please st-stand straight in l-line."
Wh-what? No thanks? Just as I think that, does she think we're fellow loser comrades or something? Was it one-sided on my end?! She's probably about to say if I make a jangling noise while running, she'll hit me!
The mob girl tilts her head at my gesture, stares at me with blank eyes, and starts trembling. Aw, poor thing, fine. I get it. Standing in line is no big deal.
I totter over behind the mob girl, trash bag in hand, and stand there. Hammer-chan, come.
The floating magic wand drifts over silently. The mob girl starts shaking even harder. Her lips turn blue as she mutters to herself, begging to be spared. Why?
"...H-hate it, no. No. Wh-what... did I do? What did I do? R-request denied. No. Please spare me. Sp-spare..."
Poke poke.
"Eek! Gack. Kk. Kek."
I grab the collar of her pajamas as she startles and nearly collapses, the frills dangling. No way I'd kill someone with such pretty colors. Magical Girls protect justice and peace, after all. And we can't kill humans anyway, right?
Her breathing sounds choked, so I switch to supporting her by her soft, wobbly arm. Squishy.
"Hah, hah. Hah."
Her legs regain strength, and she slumps but manages to stand. Even then, she clings stubbornly to her trash bag. Mine's dry, but hers is leaking liquid. And it stinks.
"Grrrk glrrk blorp uuuugh..."
The greasy bald guy's reviving thanks to the Laws' auto-restoration. The Laws even work in a dump like this? Lame. Well, they pierce through the barrier and revive him every time anyway.
Anyway, watching the revival scenes is always kinda fun in its own way. He suffers so much. Good people supposedly don't feel a thing, which is weird. I tried restoring myself once and didn't feel much, so I stopped after that. All I realized was that the mangled mess I make isn't actually dead.
So I smash away without worry. Honestly, if I really tried, could I kill him? Just drag him into space or something. Tried that—didn't work. Even in a place with no waves or colors visible, his color was still there. Just turned into frozen laundry. Didn't die.
After a few repeats, he auto-returns. Scared the crap out of me when he vanished. Anyway, as a Magical Girl, I can't escape the Laws! Stalker much? Whatever, clears my head. No responsibility, fun, helps society—a perfect hobby. Not worth philosophizing over.
Anyway, judging by how he's powering up with those groans, he's tougher than the others. Doesn't scream much, breaks slower. A durable instrument? Something like that.
"R-revival? Restoration? What... what was with that guy?"
The mob girl mutters to herself again while watching the groaning bald revival. Guess she's got some tolerance for the grotesque. Weak to jump scares only? Awakened otaku type? Anyway, one-way affinity points +1.
"Grr, grr... Guk. Kek. Hack. Hahk, hahk."
"U-um. A-are you okay?"
Huh? The mob girl glances at me, then speaks to the fully revived bald guy. One-way affinity points reset to zero. How does she talk to a stranger so easily? She wouldn't even talk to me!
"Guhk, heuk. Ack. Fucking hurts like hell! Guh. Krk. What the fuck is this?!"
"C-calm down. It's a Weird Phenomenon."
I'm gonna hurl! My limbus is shattering! Kidding. Hmph.
The half-collapsed bald guy revives clutching his carry-on. Weird.
"Aaaagh! Aaaaagh! Fuck, why me?!"
"Q-quiet!"
"Guhk, kk. Sniff."
His face is streaming grease, his bald head gleaming, tears pouring from his eyes. The fucker whines about how unfair and painful it is, but swallows it at the mob girl's firm shout. The distant pulsing throb from the building drowns out his whining anyway, but her gutsy act just feels like more betrayal! I followed without even doing laundry!
Talk to me nicer too! I thought she was a comms-impaired otaku like me! Unforgivable! Go! Hammer-chan! Body slam!
The magic wand rockets off in an instant, pulverizing the bald guy and heading groundward. Oops.
『BOOM!!!!』
"Kyaaak!"
My bad. I catch the mob girl as the earthquake-like tremor nearly topples her. Touching her doesn't feel gross. Weird. The pretty colors? Or the fellow loser aura?
First time with a ground collision for the wand. It's too heavy to set down, so I always hold it or float it. Hammer-chan drifts back lightly as if weightless.
While I'm at it, should I purify her? I spin the mob girl around and cleanse the gunk from her chest.
"E-eugh, th-thank you, thank you. Wh-what happened to the ground..."
Whoa! She talked to me! Knew it! Kihihi. Affinity stamp acquired.
The mob girl breathes deep to calm down, checking her chest. Purification smells nice, right? After staring for a bit, she looks around searchingly.
"Huh? Where'd that guy from earlier go?"
I point confidently at the regenerating bald fragments. She stares.
"Wh... why? Disintegration? Value-reversal proxy? What... what is it?"
She mutters again. Kinda gives off 8th-year grad student vibes. I proudly point at my magic wand with a finger.
She tilts her head, thinks hard, then it clicks.
"Ah. Eh? Um, you don't have to kill that guy, right?"
She stares at me with determined eyes. Her mob face and colors make her look pretty cute. It's not killing? More like laundry service hobby.
I shake my head at the misunderstanding. She gets it from the simple gesture and continues.
"...Oh, th-then do you kn-know the r-rules?"
Nod.
"Y-you're not g-gonna leave here?"
Shake.
"Th-then you know y-you have to f-follow the rules to get out?"
Tilt.
What rules? Gotta know 'em to follow. Or not—don't care.
"To g-get out, you have to f-follow the set r-rules. Right?"
Shake.
"Ah... Aaa... No. No way."
Tilt?
"U-um, I w-wanna get out too."
Nod nod.
"I h-have to follow the rules."
Tilt tilt.
Oh, actual conversation! Nice. World would be great if everyone was this easy. No talking needed! Comfy!
"A-are you gonna k-kill me?"
Shake. We were having a chill chat, then she pulls a loser-speedrun accusation! What am I, chopped liver?!
She finally relaxes. I want a translator like her. Mob girl. Kidnapping off-limits? Anyway, she seems knowledgeable, so she knows how to enjoy this ride. Ditch the murderer bald and play together!
"Ah... Oh. Um, c-can you h-help me follow the rules?"
Nod nod.
"Ah...! Th-thank you."
The pretty-colored mob girl beams like a puppy. Pink pajamas, huge tits, round face with 5:5 part, faint freckles, and a smile. Kinda cute. Kihihi.
"Gaaah, grrr, hahk, gluk, gerr. Grraaack! Aack! Aaaack! Fuck! Fuck! What the hell!!! What is this shit!!"
Ah. Ruining the mood. Bald guy's revived and yapping again. No laundry makes him noisy. Send the wand again? Cleaner this time.
"Th-this is! The Incinerator. A Weird Phenomenon called the Incinerator!"
The mob girl suddenly yells. She okay? Otaku who knows this genre? Or is it famous? Like 'Knew it was the Incinerator!' Old folks wouldn't get it—youth culture maybe. Pause the launch for now.
"Fuck! Why... why does it hurt so much? Is this normal?!"
"St-stand in line properly. Don't leave the line."
Huh? Works fine for me. Bald guy starts toward her but stops. Shoo shoo, go away. Stinky bald. Stinky bald. Greasy bald. I spit efficient insults inwardly.
"What the fuck is this?! Am I the only one hurting?!!"
"Q-quiet please. Th-that guy probably got caught in a d-different phenomenon."
Bald guy rolls his eyes, glances at me, snaps his head away. Mob girl does the same. What? Why? I'm a total beauty! Why no pets? Girls are supposed to pet me! Hurry up!
Is it 'cause I'm originally a 40-year-old loser virgin hikikomori? Is it?!
I tilt my head, and the sea in my eyes tilts too.