Chapter 89
Chapter 89
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Translator: Ebonarch
Chapter Title: I Am the Protagonist
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The world is full of happiness.
Lovers, friends, families.
Love, friendship, trust.
Romance, fireworks. Warm flames.
A soft, gentle light.
The things I had so desperately sought and yearned for.
All the people gathered in the square shine brilliantly under the soft lighting descending from the sky.
Unlike me, who always slipped and despaired before it, they obtain it all so effortlessly.
A child riding on their father's shoulders, pointing at the sky with a tiny hand.
The mother laughing joyfully in agreement with the child, and the father grimacing as the kid yanks his hair while riding the piggyback.
Students excitedly snapping photos of the night sky, chattering noisily.
Lovers blushing as they whisper sweet nothings to each other.
Everyone is smiling. It feels like the whole world revolves around them, like the entire world is brimming with romance.
...Except for me.
Do you all even know? How dark the shadows are beyond that light, how much pain the people trapped inside suffer.
How desperately I struggled for the happiness you take for granted.
I resisted with all my might, but since I was born powerless, I could only get swept away. I had no choice but to submit.
Do you even know? Do I even register in your eyes? This existence huddled in the corner, hidden away in the shadows far off in the distance.
............
This loser is spouting nonsense again.
Hey! That's emotional overkill.
It's no different from some chuunibyou delusionist who thinks they're the only special one in the world, the only one who's unhappy.
You aren't suddenly going to awaken the Sharingan or spout something weird like 'I'll destroy the world that abandoned me,' are you?
God is always fair and just. He gives trials to the happy and light to the unhappy.
In fact, to me who had only known misfortune, didn't He send the Yoonresol trio as light? Didn't He send Rockbell as light, Rena as light? Didn't He grant me a moment of happiness?
It was just that I couldn't overcome the trials that came after.
It was just my incompetence, my powerlessness, my lack of will to improve or even realize it.
Because I was born powerless, because I'd never stood up on my own will, I didn't know how to overcome and simply got swept away.
Yeah. I was the type who didn't know how to stand on my own two feet.
Back when I was little, every time I tried to get back up from where I'd collapsed after a slap, my father would beat me right away. He beat me so badly that I couldn't even attempt to stand again.
So at some point, I became afraid to stand on my own two legs. The fear deeply etched into my heart made me collapse even in situations where I could stand and overcome.
Yeah. So I just got swept away.
Even though I definitely could have overcome it!
Damn it, how hard could it be!
Overcome the hallucinations and auditory illusions! Ask Han U-sol for help, somehow manage to defeat Yeriel!
Gather strength to defeat the magic beasts! Push harder to defeat Kahartel!
In the process, somehow figure out how to extract the demonic energy injected into my body!
Argh, damn it, if there's a way to put it in, of course there's a way to take it out!? In fantasy, anything's possible? Somehow, through trials and tribulations, purify the demonic energy! Free myself from hallucinations and auditory illusions!
And so, having restored peace to the world, Anis starts streaming internet games, gets donations from tsundere fans, and lives happily ever after—
-The End-
...Tch, how hard could it be? What was so difficult about it?
Without any will or effort, getting overwhelmed by mere hallucinations and just drifting along.
I'm such an idiot—
God gave me a chance—
A chance to be happy—
But this pathetic worm just clings to the tree, circling around—
.............
This loser is digging his own hole again.
Hey! That's excessive self-loathing.
Sure, you're a useless, actionless idiot trash, but even so, you're a victim. It's not all your fault. Damn it, how can anyone make sound judgments when they're tied up and beaten without being allowed to do anything?
If you keep blaming yourself like that, you're bound to break.
You need to let go of those overly inflated emotions a bit. Not just me, but anyone living life needs to be a little more detached.
Those full of confidence and superiority need to let go of some arrogance.
Those full of frustration and depression need to let go of some self-blame.
Oh, look at this guy? That phrase that keeps showing up is still tormenting me, insisting this is a world inside a novel.
Don't waver. Kahartel said this isn't a world inside some novel.
This is reality. Throw away useless delusions and focus only on the reality in front of you.
But how can I trust that demon bastard? Now that I think about it!
Damn it, whether this is a novel or reality, how the hell would you know!!!!!!!!!
Show me proof, proof!! Proof that I'm not just a brain in a vat!!!
..........Ah.
I need to be a little detached. I need to dry out these overflowing, sticky emotions a bit.
In truth, didn't the god who pitied me send Betty as light? God surely wants me to overcome this trial.
Bang—!
Gunfire? No, fireworks.
Boom—!
Explosion? No, fireworks.
"Anis?"
And through it all, Betty's voice flows in. I met her eyes.
The only one in the world who looks out for me now. She is my last remaining, one and only light.
"......... "
Emotional overkill.
Self-loathing.
I need to be detached. I need to control myself. I can't just dump my sticky emotions on her just because I'm hurting, when she's looking at me so carefully with worry.
I looked into Betty's eyes and opened my mouth.
"Betty."
"Yeah?"
I meant to toss out a single dry word casually, to ease her worry and reassure her.
"Wanna commit suicide with me?"
But contrary to my thoughts, the words that came out weren't just dry—they were hollow.
#
"Huh...?"
At my out-of-nowhere remark, Betty tilted her head quizzically. At the same time, her worried gaze intensified.
Proposing a double suicide under blooming fireworks. It was undeniably romantic, but the words had slipped out on their own, leaving me a bit dumbfounded too.
"Ah..."
Should I play it off as not being in my right mind or babbling nonsense? Or brazen it out like I was just kidding? Flustered and embarrassed, I floundered.
Watching me, Betty spoke up.
"Anis. Remember when we watched the fireworks at the amusement park before?"
"...Yeah."
"Back then, you said you hated the world so much you couldn't stand it, that you wanted to reduce it all to nothingness. But now, it seems like it doesn't matter anymore."
"......Huh?"
Betty smiled brightly.
"Now I have you."
Betty said that and reached out her hand to me. I took it.
Soon, Betty's magic began flowing through my body. The precursor to her using her ability.
"...Where are we going?"
Betty grinned widely and answered.
"Anywhere."
And the scenery changed.
A very brief sense of unfamiliar floating, followed immediately by a familiar falling sensation.
Hair whipping in the wind. Startled by the sudden change, I squinted and looked around.
Fireworks were streaming down before my eyes. Soon, I realized we were right above where we'd been, in the skies over the square.
Shwooo—Boom—!
The fireworks exploded. The one bursting right in front was far brighter and warmer than viewed from below.
"It's even prettier up close, right?"
Betty said. I nodded.
"Anis. I had times when I suffered like you too. I even tried to kill myself. But don't hurt too much. Now you have me."
I stared blankly at Betty. Her fluttering white hair caught the light, dyed warm and sparkling.
"Part of me wants to say let's just run away together like this... but there's nowhere to run. This world is too small to hide, and the contract binding me to Lord Kahartel makes running impossible."
But even so.
"Let's endure it together. It'll be tough, but we won't be lonely."
Her cheeks flushed with what seemed like joy. Under the fireworks splitting into three streams in the sky, her eyes sparkled too, forming three lines.
I read her emotions there. Fragments of emotion scattering like the sky, shattered into three.
She
wants
happiness.
With me.
"......... "
What she and I had always wanted was the same.
We just threw tantrums and got angry because we couldn't have it no matter how hard we tried, but what we wanted was always the same.
We just wanted a little happiness.
"...Yeah. Betty."
Bright lights filled the empty night sky.
There, Betty and I fell together.
#
On the way back, I spotted something and said to Betty.
"...Betty. Until now, I thought this world was inside a novel."
"Huh? A novel?"
"The hallucinations kept saying so."
Sometimes I think that. Maybe everything Kahartel said was a lie, and this world is still a novel revolving around Han U-sol, and I'm just an irrelevant irregular.
Even now, that phrase flickering near me keeps fueling those doubts.
"Even after learning it's not a novel world, the hallucinations keep telling me it is. So I'm still confused. I end up thinking maybe it really is inside a novel."
Betty tilted her head at my words.
"...Does that really matter that much?"
"......No. It doesn't seem that important."
She was right. Whether this is a novel world or not, it didn't matter that much.
I gazed blankly at the sky. The fireworks had long ended, leaving only darkness and silence.
"What's the novel's title?"
Betty broke the brief silence and asked. I hemmed and hawed, then reluctantly gave the title under her unwavering stare.
"......Acamedy Academy."
"Huh?"
Betty's expression turned strange, like 'What kind of stupid title is that?'
I know. I know...! But I didn't name it, so don't look at me like that...!
Betty eyed me oddly for a moment, then spoke.
"Then how about this? They say everyone lives a novel called 'Life,' where they're the protagonist."
She even knows profound sayings like that. Betty strangely knew a lot of phrases she'd picked up somewhere. Guess she has a good memory.
"If this world really is a novel like you're worried, then just think of it as living in the novel called 'Your Life,' where you're the protagonist!"
Betty shouted with a laugh.
"Actually, the novel 'Acamedy Academy' was the story of protagonist Anis Harper, written by Anis Harper herself!"
So, 'Acamedy Academy' was really the novel chronicling protagonist Anis Harper's life.
And from now on, it's the story she'll write herself.
I thought I was the only one floating aimlessly, a fake existence.
I thought I was always helplessly swayed by others' whims.
Turns out I'm the protagonist. Protagonist and author at once.
It was as if Betty was telling me I wasn't fake, that I had the right to live by my own will.
"And I'm the sub-protagonist!"
Betty added. A small laugh escaped me involuntarily.
I looked back. The phrase still hadn't vanished.
The phrase that had so viciously denied my existence all this time.
The phrase I'd feared so much.
But somehow, thinking of it as the story where I'm protagonist and author, just as Betty said.
It wasn't scary anymore.
"...Haha."
Yeah. Starting today, the protagonist of the novel 'Acamedy Academy' is Anis Harper.
And I've decided to write the story from here on out myself.
Whether this is a novel world or not, whether I'm the protagonist or not, I'll just live thinking that way.
"Not bad."
Betty kept chattering nonstop. I watched her with a smile.
"Anis. As the protagonist, the story might get tough ahead. But let's endure it together. I'm always the sub-protagonist on the protagonist's side! And..."
"Let's make a happy ending just for us."
"Ah, that line."
"Huh?"
"...Never mind. Let's head back."
"Okay."
The night deepened.
The chilly night brings twilight darkness, but if you lean on a single ray of light, endure, and bide your time.
Morning will come.