Chapter 78
Chapter 78
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Translator: Ebonarch
Chapter Title: Notifications of Despair
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The heroes stationed at the barricade watched the front with tense faces.
It had been some time since they'd hastily set up the barricade after the barrier shattered, but the magic beasts still hadn't shown themselves.
"...They should be swarming by now, but not even a shadow in sight."
Aselrika muttered quietly, and silence fell once more. Amid the crowd of heroes, the occasional sound of someone swallowing hard could be heard.
Aselrika decided to use the lull to reorganize into a more efficient formation. She gathered the veteran heroes and began discussing tactics. The tension eased slightly, and the heroes let out sighs of relief.
"………."
Yoon Na-rin stared blankly at the ground. After pouring out her emotions for so long, what remained for her wasn't relief, but emptiness.
Fergus patted Yoon Na-rin's shoulder, while Han U-sol and Reisi watched her with concern.
And I was behind them.
I desperately tried to ignore the notifications blaring like mad.
The alerts wouldn't stop.
#
I knew I shouldn't open it.
I could guess what would happen if I checked.
Still, I couldn't help pulling my phone from my pocket.
I slipped away from the formation and headed to a corner. Out of sight, I tapped the screen.
Maybe someone would say, Do you really need to check? Why bring trouble on yourself?
Just ignore it. That's the better path for you.
But then,
what about this noise?
Are you going to make it stop?
"………."
I stared blankly at the white LED light pouring from my phone.
I knew it. Nothing good ever came from these notifications or checking the novel.
And the odds were high it'd be the same this time.
But even knowing that...
I had to check.
Because the noise was driving me insane.
It chattered relentlessly, as if urging me to check, gnawing away at my judgment.
―――I'll kill you.
The light that had always held me tight was flickering now too.
So I plunged into the faint glow from my phone screen.
Unable to tell if it was the flame that would burn me or the light I craved.
Like a moth to a flame.
Tap. Tap tap.
Leaning against the wall, I tapped the smartphone screen. Praying this time it would be nothing serious, I opened the updated novel.
Dense lines of text filled the screen, and I skimmed down, scrolling.
Swipe— Swipe—
And as the scroll went down. Further down. My hands began to tremble too.
Swipe—
By the time it reached the bottom, I dropped the phone from my hand.
"Ah, ah..."
Thud.
I collapsed.
In the novel.
Yoon Kang-woo didn't die.
The magic beasts never charged in, and no one died.
Yoon Kang-woo casually took leave and called Yoon Na-rin.
Han U-sol, Yoon Na-rin, and Reisi attended the academy peacefully.
They joked around while eating lunch together.
Or gathered during breaks to chat.
Or studied at a café during exam season.
Rockbell still yelled at the students. He'd berate them harshly, but switch to praise the moment they showed something praiseworthy.
The novel depicted the scenery I'd seen just a few months ago.
It was peaceful.
Unlike here, nothing had changed.
The only difference was one thing.
I wasn't there.
"...Ugh."
I slid down the wall and crumpled. I forced back the nausea with my hand.
My vision blurred, tears streaming down my cheeks.
The novel without me looked happy for everyone. The brilliant light I'd so desperately wished for hadn't gone out there.
But here, where I was...
"Hic, ugh."
A sobbing whimper leaked through my fingers clamped over my mouth. The dark, festering groan from deep in my chest pierced through my fingers and slowly spread into the air.
Morning sunlight poured down. Even on a day like this, it obliviously wrapped warmly around my head. Bright light mixed into my hazy vision.
Beyond that dazzling blur, I saw Han U-sol and Reisi's gazes from in front of the ruined building.
For a very brief moment. In that split second, the looks they'd given me.
Their eyes that seemed to shun me.
What emotion had been in those eyes? Fear? Or contempt?
And behind them, Yoon Na-rin—who had shone so brightly on me till the end—crumbling.
The pure flame that burned bright faded away.
She collapsed. Staggered, faltered, and finally crumbled.
As she fell, she spewed hatred and resentment. At the one who drove her brother to death.
She wanted revenge. She resented the one who made her brother die.
And the one who made her brother die...
Was me.
Ah.
Falling. I was falling again before I knew it.
The ground felt close.
I still couldn't see the end.
Nothing held me anymore, and the fall accelerated.
Accelerating like that, I'd crash into the ground before I could react.
How can I...
How can I climb back up?
Back to how it was.
To those peaceful days without a care.
Surrounded only by bright lights, no fear of falling.
And.
[If you pray to God.]
[Wouldn't you be able to go back? Anis follower.]
A hallucination spoke to me.
―――Tick.
The clock hands pointed to 9 o'clock.
###
The old man watched the girl from afar.
The girl was suffering. Tears streaming, she clamped her hand over her mouth, stifling her breaths.
"………."
The old man squeezed his eyes shut. He didn't know everything, but he knew plenty. She was clearly tormented by hallucinations from the magic, driven to madness.
Han U-sol's resentful words flashed through his mind, and the old man faltered.
The old man wanted to be a cogwheel. He lacked the courage to step forward, or to stop those who did.
He wished to be a mere part, flowing with the world, doing only his assigned tasks without resisting. He was nothing more than a petty man like that.
But unfortunately, he was too talented.
His shining talent as a hero wouldn't let the world leave him as a cogwheel spinning in place.
A man with overflowing ability in a mismatched role as an association executive.
Even with that grand title of Hero Association executive, he still wanted to be a cogwheel. He aimed to live passively, uninvolved as much as possible, turning like a gear.
But he couldn't block the flood of information coming in. From things he didn't want to know, to the association's corruption he shouldn't know.
He learned of them, but lacked the courage to step up and stop it. He pretended not to know, and time passed.
He wanted and acted like a cogwheel, but he wasn't emotionless. Before long, he'd become a mere bystander, tormented by indecision.
Though praised as the most upright in the association, the light yet turbid sin of being a bystander always choked him.
Unable to bear it, he'd fled to the academy principal position.
But here too, the old man remained a bystander.
Even as the girl suffered before his eyes, he hesitated to extend a helping hand.
Bystander.
Pathetic petty man.
That was Fergus Dee's essence.
"………."
She was a girl who always tried to save people actively, anywhere, anytime. At least, that's the Anis Harper the old man knew.
This belief, held for some time, solidified further after spending time with her recently and seeing her save that boy Daniel.
Thus, the old man's guilt deepened.
The forced magic caused hallucinations as a side effect, tormenting the girl.
What was she seeing, hearing? What tormented her so?
Suddenly, the old man recalled words she'd said during midterms when she came to him.
She'd said it hesitantly, as if doubting herself. Puzzled by her words, he'd still replied that he would.
He'd promised to bolster security, but never did.
At the time, he hadn't felt the need, and midterms were so hectic he forgot.
After midterms, she came to him and said:
He hadn't strengthened it, nor were there signs of attack. The chances of attacking the near-perfectly defended academy were nil anyway.
But to the proudly smiling girl, sensing something off, he could only nod and let it pass.
That was when it started.
The old man's gaze toward the girl filled with pity, and the guilt in his chest snowballed.
...Miss Anis.
What on earth are you seeing?
Han's words echoed in his mind again. As he'd said, it had been a life of constant bystander evasion.
A long, pathetic life of a cowardly, convictionless petty man.
Always rotting in solitary guilt, living like a turning cogwheel.
And it was the same now. After 70 long years, he was still a coward.
The old man, Fergus Dee, gazed at the girl, Anis Harper. From a distance, but he could clearly see her suffering.
She knelt, hands over her ears. Tears still flowed from her eyes, dripping onto the dry ground.
The sight was so wretched, so miserable.
His chest ached sharply.
Was it right for such a young girl to suffer like this?
This innocent girl who just wanted to save people.
"………."
Fergus hesitated.
The old man, who'd only spun in place like a cogwheel, pondered stepping out for the first time—toward the girl plummeting off the cliff.
Pondered reaching out a hand.
Pondered shedding his long robes of a bystander, mustering courage for one step forward.
"………."
After agonizing long, as he finally moved his halted foot forward...
"Principal Fergus."
Someone called the old man's name from behind.
"...What is it."
"For the upcoming battle with the magic beasts, we'd like you to lead the front line... Could you come discuss it? Just for a moment."
"......Can't it wait? Later."
"...We don't know when the magic beasts will swarm—it's urgent. With more new heroes, the personnel meeting might drag on... I'd like to wrap it up quickly if possible."
".........Understood for now."
"Thank you. This way."
In the end, leaving the kneeling girl behind, Fergus followed the leading hero but glanced back.
"………."
The hesitating bystander.
"...Let's finish quickly."
Turned his back after all.