Chapter 134
Chapter 134
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Translator: Ebonarch
Chapter Title: Facing It Straight
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[Anis. I'm a clear-cut villain by the world's standards, just like them—a person who could drop dead at any moment without it being strange.]
[It's not just to you.]
No, that's not right.
I was a villain to you, too.
I was the kind of human who wore the mask of pretending to care for you on the outside while secretly wishing for your ruin inside, hoping you'd plunge into the same depths as me.
"Pfft, haha, ha..."
Laughter slipped out unbidden.
Thinking back, Han had lived his entire life like this. A selfish villain.
He had clearly recognized himself as an undeniable villain and lived accordingly. He even admitted that he'd committed sins worthy of death.
He had killed many people.
Villains, civilians, even children—it made no difference to him.
"........."
He stared blankly at the floor, lost in thought.
But so what?
Should I not kill, then?
What's the problem?
I'm this miserable already.
My family and comrades are gone, and the whole world looks at me with nothing but disgust and revulsion.
Can't I hate the world?
Can't I pour out my hatred, wishing misery on others like me?
Sold off by my parents, I lived desperately to protect my little sister. I trained, endured biological experiments, took on missions, and killed people.
Even if the victim was an innocent civilian, I never hesitated. As long as it wasn't my family or those around me, I didn't care who died.
Why? Because I'm selfish and ugly by nature.
I'm trash who only feels satisfied when others suffer as much as I have.
The world deserves to be more miserable.
It should burn with exactly as much pain as I've felt, darken with as much loneliness as I've endured, and lose just as much as I've been deprived of.
I can't stand the sight of everyone else laughing it up above while I'm rotting in the sewer below.
In the end, every action has a clear cause and motive. His betrayal was no different.
If Camilla did it for amusement and Betty because she couldn't bear the loneliness, Han's reason was a sticky hatred born of having nowhere left to go... and jealousy.
-Kiiik, kiikiiik...
"......!?"
Power began to return to Han's sword, which had been on the verge of death. As the clashing blade regained its strength, Aselrika's eyes widened in shock.
"...Ridiculous, even as you're dying."
His body riddled with holes and gushing blood, yet somehow that mental fortitude kept his strength alive. Aselrika stared at Han like he was some kind of monster.
"Want to test our strength? Fine. Who'll break first?"
But no matter how much power he mustered, Han was a critically wounded man who could keel over dead at any second. Overpowering the unscathed Aselrika with raw force was impossible.
-Kkigigik-!
Aselrika pressed Han even harder with her strength.
The locked swords screeched as if they might tear apart,
-Chaeaeang-!
and at last, Han's blade snapped.
-Pishuk!
As the broken blade flew toward the sky, Han's remaining right wrist was severed clean off along with it.
Aselrika said impassively,
"Now it's truly over."
Han gazed into the empty air.
The shattered blade—the sword Anis had given him as a symbol of trust.
It spun pathetically in the air like a worthless scrap of metal.
As if the sword itself were condemning him.
As if it were saying he'd worn the pious mask of caring for Anis on the surface while betraying her trust behind her back.
The sword came down.
The pitifully ruined sword.
Han was the only one watching it.
The others merely watched the slowly dying Han—no one else spared a glance for the broken sword fragment.
Still, countless emotions poured in.
Contempt, derision, relief.
Numbness.
Disgust, pity, guilt, regret.
Amid it all, Aselrika loomed, sword raised against him.
And then,
-Kwaak!
Han clamped his jaws around the descending blade, catching it in his mouth.
-Pasit!
"...Uk!?"
"Boss!!"
Blood sprayed from Aselrika's shoulder joint, and the heroes' startled cries rang out.
"Break through the rear!!"
"Block him!!"
As Aselrika clutched her shoulder in panic, Han barreled past her, plunging deeper inside.
"Th-that psycho...!"
Yes.
Condemn me.
This is my true nature now that the mask is off.
I hid my ugly selfishness deep under layers of numb emotions, afraid it'd be exposed. Then I slapped on the convenient excuse of choosing the lesser evil over the worst, pretending it was all for someone else's sake.
How laughable.
I was always the worst.
-Adduk.
Han gritted his teeth as if chewing through the sword fragment.
A cracking sound rang out, and the thing that could no longer be called a sword let out a wretched shriek.
Yes.
I was the worst.
So hate me more. Mock me more.
I, who was the worst from the start,
will live as the worst until the bitter end—and die that way.
"Uwaak!"
"Kuuk! What the...!"
He shook off his pursuers, slashed through those blocking his path with the sword shard in his mouth. He dodged only the lethal spells with minimal movement, tanking the rest as he broke through. The one stroke of luck for Han was that the heroes inside were comparatively weaker than those on the perimeter.
After passing Aselrika and cutting down a few more heroes, Yoon Na-rin came into view. The moment Han spotted her, he charged straight at her in a beeline.
"Cr-crazy...!"
Yoon Na-rin's face twisted in horror. She hastily assumed a casting stance to fire off a spell, but unfortunately, Han reached her first.
-Teolk.
The man drenched head to toe in red stepped right in front of Yoon Na-rin.
He had slain roughly seventy heroes.
In the process, he'd lost his left eye, a chunk of his abdomen, and his right wrist.
His body was ultimately riddled with holes.
But somehow, he made it—to Yoon Na-rin's side.
"........."
Han looked down at Yoon Na-rin and muttered to himself.
...Anis.
You have to fall.
Just like me.
Without a shred of mercy.
-Adduk.
His jaw clenched tight.
Without even a flicker of hesitation, Han lunged forward to drive the blade shard into Yoon Na-rin's throat.
Paat-!
"......!!"
The flustered Yoon Na-rin staggered back, but it was futile. Han, having seized the initiative, was far faster.
The distance between them closed in an instant.
One step forward.
Just one step to plunge the sword from his mouth into her throat.
In that split second, Han's eyes bulged wide.
'...I'll kill her.'
I can do it.
Even with this dying body.
Before I go, at least one more annoying obstacle—
But,
[No... Han!! Stop!!]
A scream tore through the air, her cry stabbing into his eardrums.
Even now, Han still doesn't know why he couldn't kill Yoon Na-rin at that moment.
'.........Ah.'
Puuk—!
And then, the sword plunged in.
Not into Yoon Na-rin—but into Han's body.
"Heok... heok..."
"...Daniel?"
In that instant of hesitation, Daniel's sword, interposed in his path, pierced straight through Han's clavicle.
"......Kuluk."
Blood surged back up his throat. Han spat out a gush of dark crimson.
It was astonishing that he still had more to spill after losing so much already.
-Teolkeok.
He crumpled limply to the ground.
Through his blurring vision, the sky remained as dark as ever.
"........."
Why was that?
Again. He couldn't clear the obstacle again.
Did his body finally hit its absolute limit at that exact timing?
It had been just one step away. Just that one step he couldn't take.
"......Heu."
Finding himself pathetic, Han let out a hollow, self-deprecating chuckle.
In the end, he failed to kill again.
Without even knowing why.
As Han gazed vacantly at the sky and shifted his sight, he spotted Fergus standing alone in the distant corner.
Their eyes met, and the old man drew closer. As the distance shrank, a wave of pity emanated from him.
Forcing the words past a throat filling with blood, Han spoke to the old man.
"...Do you pity me?"
"........."
"Don't."
A man who envies others and hides his ugliness behind hypocrisy isn't worth anyone's pity.
So don't look at me with those eyes.
I'm not that pitiful, and I'm certainly not some tool for you to salve your conscience.
"He's right, Principal Fergus. Don't pity him."
Ronel, who had approached unnoticed, spoke up. She must have been injured fighting the magic beasts outside the encirclement—blood from her forehead had soaked her bangs.
"Don't pity him out of some attachment to the past. The moment he turned traitor and started killing, he crossed the line."
Han snorted.
She was right.
He could no longer cling to the image of the pitiful man betrayed by the Hero Association and robbed of his family. He'd gone too far for that.
All that remained was to die as the traitor who'd slaughtered countless souls.
-Cheolk.
Ronel stepped right up to Han and pressed the gun barrel to his forehead. Fergus watched the scene with eyes still mingled guilt and sorrow.
"......Ha."
He'd clearly told him not to pity. Han gave Fergus a bitter smile.
"...If you really have to pity someone."
"........."
"Pity someone who still deserves it—not scum like me."
Yes, for instance...
...someone like Anis.
Han quietly stared at the gun barrel aimed at his head.
And then.
Taang—!
The muzzle flashed, and a bullet-shaped brand seared into Han's forehead.
-Chyarararak.
At the same moment, the kaleidoscope unfurled once more.
Even as he sensed his life rapidly ebbing away, Han watched the spectacle.
...What is this?
Didn't it end before?
I don't want to see any more of my ugly self.
He considered closing his eyes, but curiosity about what else might be left won out, and he opened them again.
As if determined to show everything it hadn't finished before, the kaleidoscope hurriedly flipped through its pages.
Han blankly watched it unfold.
He took in the scenes flashing by like photographs, read the pages as they fluttered past.
Most of what appeared were Anis and Betty.
[Han, try reading Betty's emotions instead of mine.]
[Reading them.]
[How is it?]
[She's hungry.]
[Ah! How'd you know! Han, you're amazing!!]
-Chyarararak.
It wasn't anything impressive.
Just ordinary daily life—casual chats, laughter, banter.
[Betty, let's go grab some food.]
[What're we having?]
[Black bean noodles? It's been a while.]
[Nah, we should finish yesterday's leftovers. Can't waste it.]
[Just toss 'em. What's there to waste? When have we ever paid for food? We steal it all.]
[Logical.]
-Chyarak, chyarak...
The kaleidoscope lavished him with such mundane glimpses before finally slowing toward the end and fading away.
...What.
Is that all?
The closer it got to the final page, the more trivial it all seemed.
Memories so insignificant they hardly seemed worth recalling.
But he didn't look away.
For some reason.
[Han. When Kahartel wakes up, should I ask him to erase your contract too?]
He wanted to etch just one more scene into his eyes.
And so, Han stared straight at the kaleidoscope, closing his eyes slowly... ever so slowly.