The Hospital (1)
“How are you feeling?”
“…Fine, except for my hand.”
“No dizziness or weakness?”
“No.”
“Hmm. The hand wound was treated well. It should heal without much scarring, but you’ll need to keep it clean and take your medication properly.”
“Understood.”
“Alright then. You can head back and rest now. Thank you for your cooperation during the exams.”
“……”
The doctor in the white coat smiled kindly at me.
I didn’t stand up right away. Instead, I hesitated and asked, “Um… Doctor?”
“Yes? What is it?”
“About my memories…”
“Ah, my apologies. I almost forgot the most important part.”
“……”
How do you forget something like that?
The hospital wasn’t busy—there were barely any patients. Something about this guy gave off the vibe of a quack.
Still, he was the only person I could rely on right now, so I quietly listened to his diagnosis.
A moment later, the balding doctor adjusted his glasses and explained, “The scans showed no trauma, and all other indicators are normal. I believe this is dissociative amnesia caused by psychological shock.”
“…So, does that mean…”
I hesitated, then gathered my courage. “Will my memories come back?”
“……”
Not knowing who I was felt more terrifying than I’d expected.
Ever since I woke up with the sense that I’d forgotten something crucial, that feeling had wrapped around my entire body.
That was why I feared the doctor’s answer.
And then he spoke.
“I don’t know.”
“What…?”
“In cases of stress-induced memory loss, memories sometimes return within days. Other times… they never come back at all.”
“……”
“All we can do is give you the best possible environment for recovery.”
“……”
His words left me deflated. I lowered my head.
So I might never remember who I am…?
Despair welled up inside me.
I had clearly forgotten something I wasn’t supposed to forget. Yet because I didn’t even know what it was, I felt suffocated—like my heart was being squeezed.
“We’ll add a rehabilitation program focused on memory recovery. We’ll try various methods to help you find your memories.”
“Okay…”
“Oh, and starting this afternoon, visitors will be allowed. You should talk with your school friends. Sometimes that helps trigger memories.”
“…Friends?”
I lifted my head at the doctor’s words.
“I’m a student?”
“Yes. You attend Wonder Academy.”
“……”
“Haha, three people have already requested visitation. Only one visitor at a time, so you won’t see them together, but it seems you had good relationships with your classmates.”
“……”
I half-listened to the doctor while thinking to myself.
I’m a student…
Why does that feel so strange?
There was nothing odd about it. My reflection in the mirror was clearly that of a young man.
Yet the fact that I was a student felt oddly out of place.
“……”
Carrying that strange feeling, I returned to my hospital room.
“All done with disinfection.”
“Thank you…”
After lunch, the nurse treated my injured hand. A round wound marked my palm.
How did I even get this?
I had no idea.
“Visitors will start coming soon. Spend some time reminiscing with your friends. A lot of people recover their memories that way.”
“Thank you.”
The nurse who knew my situation smiled warmly and left the room.
…This hospital’s skirts are pretty short.
I watched her retreating figure with interest.
Wait, were nurse uniforms supposed to have skirts like that?
At least getting eye candy every time my hand was treated made being hospitalized a little less miserable.
A small happiness in the middle of losing my memories.
What kind of people are my friends…?
With about ten minutes left until visitation, I felt a bit nervous as I tried to imagine friends I didn’t remember.
I even rehearsed how I’d greet them.
“Yo~! Kim Ares! Heard you lost your memories, you dumbass? Should’ve gone easy on the dumbass moves!”
Yeah, that felt like how friends would talk.
…Wait, why Kim Ares?
What’s with the “Kim”?
Let me try again.
“Ares, I heard. Man… you idiot. Why’d you do that?”
This time I pictured a close friend who was a little more concerned.
Right. Even close friends would be careful if someone lost their memories.
What kind of guy was I…?
A small spark of anticipation began to grow.
It was the kind of trivial excitement only possible because I had no memories.
They said I was a student… What was my school life like?
Did I do well in class?
Did I have lots of friends?
All sorts of possibilities floated through my mind.
…Wonder if there are any girls among my friends?
A natural, slightly lewd hope rose within me.
“No… I shouldn’t get my hopes up too high. That’ll just lead to disappointment.”
I tucked that expectation away in a corner of my heart.
If I hoped for girls and only guys showed up, meeting my friends wouldn’t feel as nice.
My goal was to hear stories about myself from my friends.
Getting excited about girls in a situation this serious was ridiculous.
Maybe I was the type who really liked women…
Little by little, the outline of who “I” was without memories started to form.
While I was thinking about my friends—
—Knock knock knock.
“Ugh…!”
The door to the room sounded, and someone had arrived.
Before I knew it, the ten minutes had passed and visitation had begun.
“C-come in.”
I was the only patient in this six-person room right now.
So I answered the knock myself.
The door slowly opened.
Hey~! Kim Ares!
Heart pounding, I imagined the school friend who would appear.
And then—
“……Ares.”
“Huh…?”
Standing there was an incredibly pretty girl.
Blonde hair. Blue eyes.
And most importantly—
She had an enormous chest.
“Huuuh…?”
“How are you feeling? Are you okay? What about your hand? Anywhere else hurt?”
“……”
The petite, fairy-like girl rushed over the moment the door opened and sat beside my bed.
Boing.
“……”
Even in that moment, I—idiot that I was—couldn’t stop staring at her chest.
Just how big are those…?
“Ares…?”
“Ah, r-right! I’m fine! Yeah, nothing hurts. I’m completely okay!”
“…Really? …Haa, thank goodness.”
Realizing I’d been caught staring, I blurted out an excuse. The girl let out a sigh of relief and smiled, gently pressing a hand to her chest.
Even that gesture looked adorable.
“……”
“……”
A brief silence followed. An awkward atmosphere settled between us.
She smiled softly and spoke first. “I’m glad. I was really worried when you suddenly collapsed…”
“Collapsed…?”
“Yeah, right after the game ended. Lana said you were fine, but… I was still worried.”
“Game…”
What kind of game makes you lose your memories?
I couldn’t even begin to guess.
No, more importantly—I need to ask about myself.
Visitation time wasn’t unlimited.
So I decided to tell the girl about my current condition.
That I’d lost my memories. That I didn’t know who I was.
That I needed her to tell me who I used to be—and who she was to me.
…I’m a little nervous.
What kind of relationship did this cute girl have with me?
Surely not…
No, no. I shouldn’t get my hopes up.
If I found out she had a boyfriend, I’d be crushed.
“Hey… actually, the thing is…”
“Hm…?”
Anyway, I explained my situation to the girl in front of me.
“You… don’t remember anything?”
“They said it’s psychological. They don’t know if it’ll come back. That’s why they told me to talk with friends about the past…”
“……”
“…S-surprised, right?”
“……”
The girl just stared at me blankly.
I’d expected the usual reactions—shock, confusion, asking if I really couldn’t remember.
But she simply looked at me in silence.
After a moment, she carefully opened her mouth.
“So… you don’t remember anything at all?”
I nodded slightly.
“……”
“……”
Silence fell between us again.
What is she thinking?
Don’t tell me… No, no way.
That strange silence made a ridiculous hope rise in me.
I glanced at her, cheeks faintly flushed.
Then I cautiously asked the girl lost in thought, “Um, by any chance…”
“Y-yeah…?”
“What… kind of relationship did we have?”
“What kind of… relationship?”
“I mean, like… how close we were, or something…”
“……”
I stumbled over my words, flustered by her question.
After all, asking something like that out of nowhere could make her uncomfortable.
She was this pretty, after all.
She’d probably had plenty of guys hit on her like this.
But then—
“……”
“…Huh?”
Her expression changed.
The girl who had been staring blankly slowly parted her lips. Her eyes trembled.
Her brows furrowed slightly.
As if… she’d realized something.
“Hey…”
“O-our relationship!”
“H-huh?”
Just as I was about to say something, the girl—cheeks slightly red—grabbed my hand in a hurry.
“W-we, we’re…”
“……”
She opened and closed her mouth, struggling to speak.
Then, averting her eyes, she whispered softly, “We’re… dating.”
“……”
At those words, I stared at her blankly, just like she had stared at me.
My mouth fell open.
Ares, you crazy bastard…!!
The possibility I’d told myself not to hope for had turned out to be true.
Yes.
I had been dating this girl.
Boing.
Her massive chest—something I’d been trying not to look at—suddenly felt completely different.
It was the difference between “something I want to touch” and “something I’m allowed to touch.”
“Since when…?”
“U-um. A little after you transferred.”
“H-huh… So, who confessed?”
“M-me…”
After that, we exchanged short questions and answers about how Ellie and I had become a couple.
Oh my god. Oh my god…
This girl was my girlfriend…
Had we… done it?
No, judging by her shy reactions, probably not yet.
She was even trembling just from holding hands.
Maybe we’d been so careful that we barely even held hands?
You held back with these right in front of you…?! Ares!
I felt a strange respect for my past self—the one without memories.
How the hell did you endure that…?
“Ares and I… we’ve known each other since we were kids. We met again at school after being apart.”
“I see… Did you stay in contact?”
“No? That’s what makes it even more amazing. …I-I even wondered if it was fate.”
“……”
While talking with Ellie about myself, we kept falling into shy silences whenever the conversation turned embarrassing.
“……”
“……”
Even without words, the air was filled with excitement rather than awkwardness.
“I need to… get my memories back soon…”
“Huh…?”
I muttered without thinking.
Ellie let out a small surprised sound. I looked at her and smiled.
“Forgetting memories with such a pretty girlfriend… That would be such a waste.”
“Eek… Y-you think I’m… pretty?”
“Extremely. I was shocked the moment you walked in. I even thought, ‘I wish she was my girlfriend’ back then too.”
“Hnnngh…”
Maybe my words embarrassed her.
Ellie lowered her head, ears bright red, and trembled.
Still, the way she kept holding my hand tightly was adorable.
A little later—
“Even if… even if you don’t remember, I’ll… I’ll still like you.”
“……”
An angel…
A beautiful angel with a kind heart too…
How did someone like me get a girlfriend like this?
Ares, you absolute—
“Ah, it’s already…”
“Yeah. Next person’s turn.”
While we were enjoying that sweet, ticklish time together, the first visitation slot was already ending.
Since others were waiting, each visit was limited to thirty minutes.
She was leaving.
I felt a pang of regret.
Maybe that’s why I teased her with a playful smile.
“Haha, I’m really reluctant to let you go.”
“Yeah…”
“What do we usually do when we say goodbye…?”
“Huh…?”
“Like… a kiss, or something?”
“……”
Both of us blushed the moment our eyes met.
But we were dating, right?
I didn’t have my memories.
Even if we hadn’t kissed yet, wasn’t this the perfect time to bring it up?
Yeah. It was worth trying.
Naturally. Let’s keep it natural.
“Haha… Just kidding, just kid—”
And then—
“……”
“……”
Swish…
Ellie stood up and slowly approached me.
Wait, seriously…?
A kiss?
Was she really going to kiss me goodbye?
With a girl like this…
Ugh…! Her chest…!
Squish.
She came close enough that her chest pressed against mine.
Her face was shadowed. I could see her flushed cheeks and trembling eyes up close.
My gaze naturally fell to her soft-looking lips.
“……”
“……”
But—
“A k-kiss is…”
“Huh…?”
Ellie pulled back slightly, then lowered her head in embarrassment.
“A kiss… after you’re discharged…”
“……”
“W-well, I’ll be going now…! See you tomorrow, Ares…!”
“……”
So that’s how it was.
…We hadn’t kissed yet.
You had a girl like that as your girlfriend and never even kissed her…?! What kind of guy am I?!
Before visitation started, I’d wondered if I was the type with a strong sex drive.
After all, I’d checked out the nurse’s butt and hoped my visitor would be a girl.
But I was wrong.
This guy’s a Buddha.
Maybe I was some kind of devout monk who had reached enlightenment?
Otherwise, it didn’t make sense that I’d never touched a girlfriend like that.
And then—
—Knock knock knock.
The second visitor had arrived.
“Ah, come in.”
Before I knew it, Ellie had left and the next visitor had taken her place.
I’d been too deep in thought.
Ellie’s chest had left that strong of an impression, so it couldn’t be helped.
Who’s next…?
Honestly, after seeing such a pretty girlfriend, I wouldn’t be disappointed even if a rowdy guy showed up.
If anything, I could greet my friend with my shoulders squared and pride intact.
After all, I was a winner with a girlfriend of that level.
And then—
Creak.
“A~res.”
“……Huh?”
The person who opened the door and walked in was yet another incredibly pretty girl.
Long purple ponytail.
A slim waist and slender limbs.
She had the aura of an idol—beautiful enough to make you stare.
“H-huh…?”
“Hehe, I heard you lost your memories? So you don’t remember me either?”
Unlike Ellie, this girl smiled without hesitation and approached me lightly.
Friend…
She’s a friend, right…?
“Ah, sorry. …I don’t remember anything.”
“Ehh~, really? That’s disappointing…”
She smiled playfully at my words and patted my shoulder.
Her touch made my heart race for no reason.
No no, you crazy bastard… You have a girlfriend!
I couldn’t let myself get excited.
Get it together, Ares.
You’re the Buddha who didn’t even kiss Ellie despite having those massive things right in front of you.
Yeah. This was definitely because I lost my memories.
I was just recalling my body’s memories.
Suppress your desires with instinct.
“E-even so, they said if I do rehabilitation, my memories might come back. That’s why they told me to talk a lot with visitors about school…”
“Hmm~, I see? Then do you have any questions?”
“……”
The girl stopped patting my shoulder and asked.
But—
Her hand…
Her hand was now resting on top of mine, fingers naturally intertwined.
It felt so natural that I couldn’t pull away.
What…?
We were… friends, right?
“Um, first… this might be awkward, but could you introduce yourself? Since I don’t remember.”
“Ah, you don’t even remember my name. Hehe.”
“Y-yeah. Please.”
The girl smiled brightly and placed one hand on her chest.
Then she introduced herself.
“I’m Lana. We’re classmates.”
“Classmates…?”
I couldn’t help but smile at the word “classmates.”
Thank goodness.
So we really were just friends.
But then why was her hand—
“Yeah, classmates. …On the surface, at least.”
“……Huh?”
At that moment—
Lana leaned in close, bringing her face near my ear.
At the same time, her fingers laced through mine, and she pressed her chest against my arm.
In a small, dizzying voice, she whispered, “We’re the kind of friends who… touch each other whenever we want.”
“…H-huh, huh, huuuh?”
“You’ve even bitten my chest before…”
Squish.
While saying that, Lana pressed her chest harder against my arm.
Thump thump thump.
As if my body’s forgotten memories were returning, my heart began to race.
Strangely enough… her seduction felt familiar.
“There’s no one else in the room right now… Want to touch?”
“……”
My mouth fell open at her words.
At the same time—
I thought of Ellie.
What kind of person… am I?
And then I realized.
I wasn’t a Buddha.
I was trash.