Chapter 14 - The Diary (6)
The Diary (6)
****
• • •
[ㅁㅁMonth ㅁㅁDay]
It's been a week since I've come out of my room
So there's nothing to write in my diary
But if I don't do this, people will get hurt
Because of me
Because I made mother die
The reason mother is smiling must be because of that
But this afternoon.
Suddenly, from outside the window, I heard someone shouting towards our house.
The one shouting in front of our house was a boy
Who is he?
A face I've never seen before
Judging by how he said he was from next door, it must be the grandma's house that caught fire a while ago
There's no one home
Why did he come
I wish he would just go away quickly
• • •
"Hello~! I'm from next door~!"
"……."
• • •
[ㅁㅁMonth ㅁㅁDay]
The boy came again
He came and shouted again
Father was home today, so father went outside and talked with the boy
What could they have talked about
• • •
• • •
[ㅁㅁMonth ㅁㅁDay]
The boy came again today
Father went out again this time, but strangely, he brought the boy inside the house
And he came to my room
• • •
[Ellie, this is the boy from next door, he says he wants to make a friend.]
"……."
[Won't you come out and at least talk with him?]
"……."
• • •
I asked father to politely refuse for me
Father tried to talk to me a few more times, but when I kept my mouth shut, he eventually went back
A friend…
I feel like I can see a faint image of mother
That child will get hurt too
Because of me
Definitely…
• • •
• • •
[ㅁㅁMonth ㅁㅁDay]
The boy came again, without getting tired
Why isn't father scolding that kid
This must be a nuisance
Father let the boy in with a bright face from outside the window
And, as always, he came to me
• • •
[How about just talking for a little while]
"……."
[Just for a little while, he's a good kid. He's the grandson of Grandma Rhea from next door. You remember grandma, right?]
"……."
[Grandma sent some cookies with him too. The kind you like]
• • •
Why does he keep doing this
He knows why I don't want to go out
Father is doing this because he doesn't know
Because father can't see mother…
• • •
• • •
[ㅁㅁMonth ㅁㅁDay]
He came again…
Does he plan to come every day
It would be better to give up soon
If it were me, I'd be too sad to come back after being rejected this much
But the boy came again today
Father tried to talk to me again, but I didn't answer
• • •
[Ellie?]
"……."
• • •
• • •
[ㅁㅁMonth ㅁㅁDay]
He came again today…
Just stop coming…
• • •
• • •
[ㅁㅁMonth ㅁㅁDay]
The kid from next door came again today
But he didn't just come
He climbed the wall and came to my room window…
• • •
"Hi?"
"Kyaaa!"
"Sorry, hehe. I got permission from the ahjussi."
"G-get out…! Don't come in!"
"Why? I'm not particularly dirty. I washed up clean before coming."
"That's not what I mean…!"
• • •
I pushed him away, but he held my hand, pushed and pulled, and laughed
What's so fun
It's my room
I said get out…
Don't just come in suddenly
Still, thankfully, he just said hi and went back
He could have used the door to leave…
• • •
• • •
[ㅁㅁMonth ㅁㅁDay]
The next day, that kid came again
Thankfully, it wasn't the window this time
He knocked on the door and said hi
• • •
[Hi, good afternoon]
"……."
[Did you eat? If not, let's eat together. My grandma made sandwiches with steak. She said you should eat too.]
"…I ate."
[Really? The ahjussi said you didn't eat?]
"……Go away."
[You're not going to eat with me? If you don't eat with me, I'm going to sneak into your room through the window at night?]
"Hiik…! W-why are you doing this!"
[Because I want to play with you, there are no kids my age around here.]
• • •
He threatened to sneak in at night if I didn't open the door
He was a really pushy and rude kid
Are all boys like this?
I thought for a long time about what to do
And I had no choice but to open the door
Because it really felt like he would come at night otherwise
• • •
"It's delicious, right?"
"……."
"My grandma is a good cook, right?"
"……Yeah."
"Hehe, that's a relief. Ah, what do you want to eat tomorrow? Grandma told me to ask."
"……Don't come."
"I'll climb the window?"
"Uuuugh…."
• • •
I'm going to keep the window locked from now on
Forever
I'm never going to open it, ever
• • •
• • •
[ㅁㅁMonth ㅁㅁDay]
That kid came again
He knocked on the door and shouted for me to open it
Even when I said no, he was pushy
He said, do you think I can't get in if you lock the window
That's a bad thing to do…
Why isn't father stopping this kid
• • •
"Show me around the town today!"
"…No, I'm not going out."
"Why? Don't you feel stuffy?"
"……."
"Let's gooo~, let's go out and play!"
"……No."
"Why?"
"……."
"Because of your mother?"
"……Huh?"
• • •
How did he know
He said father told him
Why did you tell him…
He's definitely going to make fun of me
He's going to look at me weirdly, like I'm a sick kid
That's what I thought
• • •
"Your mother is amazing."
"Huh…?"
"I mean, she died, but she appears in front of you! That's amazing! That's incredible!"
"……It's not amazing at all, you know?"
"Why? My mom said she'd come in my dreams, but she never did?"
"……Your mom?"
"Yeah. My mom passed away last year too."
• • •
But that kid didn't make fun of me
He didn't treat my mother appearing as a hallucination either
• • •
"Is your mother angry?"
"Yeah…."
"So other people get hurt?"
"Yeah…."
"So you're cooped up in your room?"
"Yeah……."
• • •
Maybe that's why.
I told that kid my story.
For the first time, I told someone else a lot of things, stories that even my father wouldn't listen to
After that, the kid went home, but
Strangely, it wasn't so unpleasant today
Will he come again tomorrow?
• • •
• • •
[ㅁㅁMonth ㅁㅁDay]
He came again
With a bunch of cookies this time
The delicious cookies the grandma next door makes
A familiar scent wafted over
And as he ate the cookies, he suddenly started talking about my mother
• • •
"You know, your mother, maybe she wasn't trying to be mean to you?"
"What…?"
"I mean, our grandma's house caught fire, but she wasn't badly hurt, and the house is fine, right?"
"B-but I really saw it…! Mother was on the second floor of your house!"
• • •
He was saying that my mother wasn't tormenting me
Was he not believing me either
That's what I thought
But that wasn't it
• • •
"That's right! My grandma said she barely survived because she was on the second floor that day! The fire started because she forgot about it while baking cookies!”
"What…?"
• • •
A story I had never heard before
He told me a story I didn't know
• • •
"My mom said that she would protect me even after she died. She doesn't come in my dreams, but she said she would."
"……."
"Maybe your mother is like that too?"
"B-but…, the cat died too…."
"The cat might have been trying to hurt you!"
"Father's eye too…."
"Grandma said that if the ahjussi's eye had been worse, he could have died. But he didn't die, right?"
"……."
"I'm telling you, your mother definitely protected him!"
"……."
• • •
Mother protected me
There's no way
Mother died because of me
She must resent me
• • •
"They say no mother in the world resents their child for dying in their place."
"……."
"Never, my mom, my dad, and my grandma all said so."
"……."
"You are so loved by your mother. It's just that you think she's scary because she's a ghost."
"……."
"Was your mother a bad person?"
"……No."
"Then she really did protect you! That's only natural! Right?"
"……Hic, ugh."
"Uh, uh uh?"
• • •
I started to cry
He was flustered
But I kept crying
I kept, kept, kept crying
Because I missed my mother
Because I was sorry and felt guilty
And I wanted to apologize
If that was really the case, I was sorry
I was sorry for being scared when she came to see me
I wanted to apologize, so I cried
I started to miss my mother
If she really did protect me
Will she appear again?
Will she smile for me again?
Then this time, I want to smile back without being scared
• • •
• • •
[ㅁㅁMonth ㅁㅁDay]
That kid came again today
He asked me to give him a tour of the town, which I couldn't do last time
And so, for the first time in a long time, I went outside
We walked around the town, looked at shops, went to the mountain to play, and played in the water at the stream
It was fun
Come to think of it, I didn't have any friends
It was my first time playing like this with a friend
It's fun
Will he come again tomorrow?
I feel like he will for some reason
• • •
• • •
[ㅁㅁMonth ㅁㅁDay]
It's already been 2 weeks since I started playing with that kid
We did a lot of things together during that time
We played together
We pulled pranks together
We got scolded together
Not every moment was fun, but looking back, it was fun
But he said he has to leave now
• • •
"Hic, ugh, hic…."
"Don't cry…. I'll come visit again…."
"Hic, when…?"
"Umm…, I'm not sure, but I'll definitely write a letter before I come."
"Hic, hwaaaah…."
"Aaaah…! Really, you write a letter too…! Let's stay close by writing letters, okay?"
"Hwaaaaaah…."
• • •
I started crying again
It would have been nice if I had smiled before he left
He was my first friend
He was the friend who told me my mother's true feelings
When will he come?
Will he send letters often?
I don't want to part
It would be nice if we could play together here forever
• • •
• • •
[ㅁㅁMonth ㅁㅁDay]
That kid is gone
He said he was here for a short time because of his father's work, so it can't be helped
When I look at the window, I remember the moment he climbed through the window
I was so surprised then
Will he come in like that again?
Lately, when I look at the window, I sometimes have that thought…
• • •
"You don't know his name…?"
"That's right, I didn't get to ask."
"What about the grandma? The grandma from next door?"
"She left with him."
"……."
• • •
I'm an idiot
Why didn't I ask for his name?
We spent 2 weeks together
I can't even write a letter like this…
• • •
• • •
[ㅁㅁMonth ㅁㅁDay]
I'm going to start writing my diary differently from today
This is a letter to that kid
A letter to tell him what happened today
If possible, I want to write about the fun things and send it to him
I don't know your name, but
I'm always calling your name in my heart
Where are you and what are you doing right now?
Today, I'm baking cookies for my father's birthday
Lately, I can't see mother, but
For some reason, I feel like she's looking at me and smiling warmly
If they turn out well, I'll make some for you too
So let's meet again
I really want to meet you again
My first friend
I miss you
• • •
………
……
…
…
[Photo]
I'm sweating buckets taking and uploading these photos
Curious bastards, have a read
• • •
Comments
[Huhuheoheong Ellie-chan ㅠㅠㅠㅠ]
ㄴ[Hikikomori: Your sentimentality is crazy;;]
[StudentCouncilTerrorist: Wow fuck, Ares wrote that???]
ㄴ[Ares: I just wrote things like the actions of that nameless boy, and the diary changed the rest on its own]
ㄴ[StudentCouncilTerrorist: Ah I see]
[NightRat: But it was solved with that?? Why?]
ㄴ[Ares: The diary was the anomaly]
ㄴ[NightRat: Aah, right]
ㄴ[ForGlory: Kya, his sense was crazy this time too]
ㄴ[RedNightSky: fr, this bastard can do it when he tries, why is he like that usually lolol]
"Phew…."
The diary ghost story case was solved.
And what became certain from this result was that the anomaly was the diary.
In the first place, Ellie's mother's ghost never existed.
Ellie had just seen a hallucination of her mother due to her childhood trauma.
As a result of continuously writing that in her diary, the image of her mother that Ellie saw became real.
And when Ellie wrote in her diary that people were dying because of her mother, that became reality.
The reason that was possible was probably because this was Ellie's diary.
Because the future could be changed with the diary with 'things Ellie could do' and 'things that could happen to Ellie'.
[LunchboxCollector: But what about that boy?]
Just then, a comment was posted on the post I had uploaded.
I immediately posted a reply to it.
ㄴ[Ares: Just a fictional boy, I guess. He doesn't even have a name]
ㄴ[LunchboxCollector: That's possible??]
ㄴ[Ares: Apparently??]
ㄴ[LunchboxCollector: No, wasn't there a restriction on controlling other people's actions?]
"……Huh?"
Come to think of it, that was right?
I just kept writing because it worked.
How did that boy visit Ellie and spend time with her just as I had written?
As I was thinking that.
Fwoooosh—
Flap, flap, flap!!!
The wind came in through the crack in the window and the pages of the diary began to turn.
"Oops."
I urgently closed the window crack firmly and grabbed the diary that was flipping over.
The diary had flipped almost to the most recent page because of the wind.
'But then, I wonder if the recent diary entries have changed too?'
With that thought, I checked the diary without much thought.
And
"Huh…?"
I confirmed the contents.
The soft, squishy, fluffy, springy.
Secret diary of a young girl.
• • •
[ㅁㅁMonth ㅁㅁDay]
What to do what to do what to do what to do what to do…!!
It's him
The transfer student
He transferred here
There's no mistake
Because there's no way I'd forget…!!
Ares? So his name was Ares…! Waaah Ares…!
Oh my god, what do I do? I never dreamed we would meet like this
What to do, I think he's gotten even more handsome than I thought
What to do what to do what to do…!!
• • •
"Huuh…?"
Who?
Ares?
That's me?
I immediately checked the next diary entry.
• • •
[ㅁㅁMonth ㅁㅁDay]
What should I do
Does Ares remember me?
I want to talk to him
But I'm shy…
What if he doesn't remember me?
• • •
• • •
[ㅁㅁMonth ㅁㅁDay]
Today, I finally asked Levin, and I'm going to eat with Ares next week…!
What should I do
Will I seem weird?
Will I be able to hold a conversation?
Will he remember me?
• • •
• • •
[ㅁㅁMonth ㅁㅁDay]
What's with this Lana girl?
Why is she clinging to Ares like that?
Ares is my friend
I'm Ares's first friend
Who are you? So what if Ares knows the color of your private parts? So what?
My breasts are bigger
Ares looks at my breasts more than yours too
Fox bitch fox bitch fox bitch fox bitch fox bitch fox bitch fox bitch fox bitch fox bitch fox bitch fox bitch fox bitch fox bitch fox bitch fox bitch fox bitch………
Don't cling to Ares as you please
Get lost
Don't get between us
• • •
"……."
A series of incomprehensible diary entries followed.
"Ah, right, the gallery…!"
I immediately took pictures of them and uploaded them to the gallery to ask for the gallery members' advice.
• • •
Author: Ares
Title: Hey, this is a fucking emergency!!! What is this???
[Photo]
[Photo]
[Photo]
[Photo]
I just took pictures of the important parts and uploaded them for now
What is this???
Why have I become the boy that Ellie met in her childhood??
I'm so fucking confused right now???
• • •
Comments
[LunchboxCollector: Wow, yandere, slurp]
ㄴ[This bastard is still slurping even after dying to a woman lolol]
[StudentCouncilTerrorist: Uh oh, why has she been captured ㄷㄷㄷ]
[The boy you inserted in her childhood, didn't you just put in any random boy??]
ㄴ[Ares: No, that's the thing;;; I don't even know who he is;;;]
It seemed the gallery members also didn't properly understand this situation.
And just then, NightRat posted a comment.
[NightRat: It just seems like that kid became you?]
ㄴ[Ares: No, why did it become like that??]
ㄴ[NightRat: Because you wrote it]
ㄴ[Ares: ???????]
ㄴ[NightRat: That diary, it's a bit difficult to control other people, right. So since you wrote it, it became something you did.]
ㄴ[Ares: No, then what about the grandma next door??? She's not related to me??]
ㄴ[NightRat: Well, if it's a past alteration, it could have changed memories.]
ㄴ[NightRat: The grandma could be an anomaly.]
ㄴ[NightRat: But in the first place, this world is fucking weird, right. It's a fantasy, but there's modern manga and movies too.]
ㄴ[NightRat: There are many ways. All we can know is that you became that boy.]
"……."
After checking NightRat's comment, I checked the diary again.
• • •
[ㅁㅁMonth ㅁㅁDay]
For some reason, it seems like a lot of girls are flocking around Ares
I'm anxious
Ares is my friend
My precious friend, Ares must feel the same way too
Everyone is trying to steal my Ares
No, no, no, no
No no no no no no no no no no no no
I hate it, I absolutely hate it…
• • •
• • •
[ㅁㅁMonth ㅁㅁDay]
Today, I ate lunch with just Ares
His gaze still occasionally goes to my chest, but he tries to look at my eyes
It's cute when he tries so hard…♡
It's okay to look as much as you want…
I wouldn't mind if it was Ares who tried to touch them
I'm happy…, I want to eat like this together every day
Ares, Ares, Ares….
I wish I could fold you up small and carry you in my pocket…
• • •
"Ssssp…."
I think something has gone wrong.