The Academy Maid of the Legendary Trash Webtoon Steals the Heroine
"Hey, can't you even do the laundry right?"
Reincarnated life. They say a person lives four times or something like that.
"...How would you like me to do it?"
I don't know which of those lives it was when I died as a hikikomori who did nothing but read webtoons.
Anything was better than this one.
"Just do it properly. The dress code is white shirts, remember?"
"But this is black?"
"That's why I'm telling you to figure it out and do it right!"
It was my second day since becoming a dormitory maid inside the webtoon.
My assigned zone was the Colonge Dormitory used by the F-class students.
'Fuck. These talentless idiots don't even have money to buy shirts?'
Last night. The moment I opened my eyes again, what I felt wasn't relief at being alive but pure ecstasy.
"...This is Ascentio, isn't it?"
Ascentio Academy
The legendary trash masterpiece Ascentio Academy. It had shot to fame as a harem story featuring a munchkin protagonist who smashed through the worst possible settings, only to completely ruin its ending in season two.
"Goddamn it, so it really ends with everyone dead?"
Ascentio was the infamous academy webtoon that lured in countless male readers only to deliver a bad ending by killing off all eight heroines. I recognized it the second I saw it.
The magnificent buildings and the lights that never went out even at night were identical to the webtoon panels. I didn't even need to blink twice.
But the disappointment hit me in less than a second.
"Ju-bi! What are you wandering around for!"
"...Me?"
A maid uniform called out to me in a bright, refreshing voice.
Ah, a dormitory maid.
I still didn't know whose body I'd reincarnated into, but the optimistic thought that I just had to avoid touching the protagonist's heroines was already spreading through my mind.
"Dinner preparations aren't even done yet and you're trying to run off by yourself?"
"Huh?"
"And where did you sell your uniform this time! Get over here."
Since when do maids yell at students?
Still, she had shown up like a guide, so I followed the refreshing girl.
By the way, Ju-bi... was there even a character like that?
While I was still lost in doubt, the place I arrived at turned out to be none other than the Colonge Dormitory.
"This is fucking..."
Something had gone terribly wrong.
I'd reincarnated, sure, but as an F-rank academy student? In a protagonist power fantasy? Fuck this.
"Hurry up and help with the cooking."
"...Right."
Even the students had to cook their own meals. The power gap was already showing.
The protagonist was probably busy all day with special meals and flirting, yet a side character like me had to come to the academy and cook for himself.
Still, I could tolerate it up to this point.
Cooking together with that refreshing girl was practically a reward for a former hikikomori. If I had time, I might even ask her out.
"Huh?"
I started rubbing my eyes the moment I stepped into the cafeteria.
"Ju-bi! Where have you been?"
"Do we have to do your share too?"
"This is why we hate newbies..."
The warm, harmonious scene of seniors and juniors cooking together that I'd imagined was nowhere in sight.
The only ones preparing food in the corner of the cafeteria were... the maids.
"Why did you call me?"
"What do you mean why? We have to cook. The students will be here any minute."
"...So I'm not a student?"
The creeping anxiety finally became reality.
"What is this new maid saying? If you were specially recruited as a male, you should at least work hard!"
"......?!"
The single most criticized setting in all of Ascentio.
Male specially-recruited maids.
These male maids who had suddenly appeared in a harem story all flaunted their muscles while helping with chores. In a world overflowing with magic, the author had thrown in male maids with the logic of "Don't maids do a lot of physical labor?" The comment section had been flooded with miso soup recipes for an entire week.
And that was me?
Steam from the rice condensed on my face and rolled down my cheeks.
"Ju-bi, are you crying?"
"Jeez, the newbie's mentality is weak too."
"That's why I said we shouldn't recruit male maids."
"He's the only one who applied. What can we do about it?"
The maids who would have rioted about reverse discrimination back in Korea completely ignored me and focused on cooking.
Fuck... This makes no sense. Ju-bi, Ju-bi... He definitely had some importance among the characters!
"Ah!"
It felt like I'd been hit in the head with a hammer. I fainted on the spot.
The name was Ju Yu-bi.
There had been a character created when the author, whose brain had gone nuclear, decided "Science has advanced" and brought a car into the academy.
"Ju Yu-bi, how much?"
"Thirty-five thousand gold."
"How dare you speak informally?!"
"......?!"
The poor character who had spoken casually to the protagonist, gotten punched, and died.
The one who made the entire community roast the author by asking why a maid was working at a gas station.
"I'm that guy? Fuck, I'm Ju Yu-bi?"
"Yeah, you're Ju Yu-bi. Are you mad because we shorten it to Ju-bi?"
"...This bastard was still alive?"
"What are you talking about? Does the spot where you got hit still hurt?"
Well, if this guy had died, the protagonist would have been expelled. Still, murder was murder.
I roughly understood the timeline.
So it's around the time the author started going full brain-dead?
Now that I knew my position, all I could do was shut up and cook. Ju Yu-bi was nothing but a low-ranking male maid, after all.
"By the way, what's your name, Refreshing?"
"...Refreshing? To your senior?"
Was asking for a name a crime now? I got smacked with a ladle.
"It's Sae-kom! Are you making fun of my name?!"
Huh? It's basically the same thing. Why the overreaction?
More importantly, how was her name Sae-kom...
"Uwaaaa!"
"Whoa! What the hell is wrong with you?!"
"Sae, Sae-kom?"
Fuck. In this world, there was only one person who could be called Sae-kom.
The new maid chief who would later be known as the Little Devil.
Kim Sae-kom.
Ah, the author was so terrible at naming that every name was this awful.
"...You were hiding your identity."
"What are you even saying! We need to serve the food, so get out here."
Really, the plot makes no sense no matter how I look at it.
"Eat up, everyone!"
"......"
"It must have been hard today! Give us your uniforms!"
"......"
Everyone looked completely drained. That was just daily life for F-class academy students.
After barely awakening to magic and coming to the academy, most either cried over their pathetic talent and went home, or desperately clung to life just to graduate and scrape by with a single diploma.
Naturally, the original work never mentioned any F-class students. That was why I didn't recognize a single face.
"Ha, this is boring."
"What is it this time?"
"Miss Sae-kom has arrived."
I bent at a perfect ninety-degree bow.
I didn't know how long I'd live, but I needed to stay on the future maid chief's good side. She was the only named character in the entire Colonge Dormitory.
"By the way, why is that guy here?"
"Calling an academy student 'guy'! Have you lost your mind?"
But it's fine to swear at me?
The guy proudly displaying his devoutly trained muscles.
A named character who wore his academy uniform as a sleeveless tank top had come to the Colonge Dormitory cafeteria.
"Hey, you."
"...Me? I mean, yes?"
What's with the casual speech on our first meeting?
"...Can you teach me some upper-body routine?"
"Excuse me?"
Why was a guy who only trained muscles in a magic academy asking me that?
"Student Cadrac already has muscles overflowing."
"No. I'm lacking. They're just big."
Cadrac, the one who would become part of the protagonist's party.
Cadrac, who only trained physical enhancement magic, stared at me with murderous eyes.
"Your muscles are cooler."
"I'm wha—"
"I fell for your muscles, skipped training, and came all the way here! Please help me!"
"......"
Now that he mentioned it, my field of vision was higher than before. I hadn't seen myself without a mirror, but my arms did feel thicker...
"Look!"
"?"
At that moment, Cadrac set down a full-length mirror he'd brought from somewhere.
"...This is me?"
"Can't you see them because the muscles are shining? Should I smash all the lights right now—"
"Ah, shut up for a second!"
My reflection in the mirror.
It was the complete opposite of the guy who never moved from his computer chair.
"What the hell is this 3-500 body?"
"What is that? Tell me! I'll do anything!"
"...Eat a lot."
Having realized my secret, Cadrac began scooping up every leftover in the cafeteria.
"Hey, student! We portioned that according to the number of people!"
"Ju-bi! Come stop him!"
Sorry, Kim Sae-kom. I can't handle this guy either, so just let him eat his fill.
I still couldn't tear my eyes away from my reflection in the full-length mirror.
My pectoral muscles looked ready to burst. The veins snaking down my forearms wriggled like living snakes.
"Kuhahaha! Thank you, Ju Yu-bi! Thanks to you, I can walk into tomorrow's banquet with confidence."
"Tomorrow is the banquet?"
"As expected, you only care about building muscle. I'll follow your example, Ju Yu-bi."
What is this guy even saying? More importantly—
If tomorrow was the banquet, I knew the exact point in the story.
It was the moment the protagonist entered his second year. The day of the freshman welcome banquet.
"No wonder it felt cold..."
The weather still hadn't welcomed spring.
"Ju-bi, let's finish up and head in."
Kim Sae-kom spoke to me then.
"Finally time to clock out."
"What are you talking about? We still have to do laundry."
"...Yes."
What was the point of these muscles if my position was still a maid?
Just as I was lamenting, Kim Sae-kom picked up something strange.
"Here. Make sure to wear this at night."
"......I don't want to."
"Why do you keep saying you don't want to? You're a maid!"
A sacred object in extra-large size.
Kim Sae-kom, shoving the maid uniform toward me, looked happier than I'd ever seen her.
"It's fortunate the size came out large this time. Every time you complained it was too small, I felt so sad..."
"Please don't feel sad about something like that."
"Anyway! You must wear it. A maid must always maintain proper attire."
Was it impossible to defy the future Little Devil?
Why the hell did they even build this body in the first place? Just so it could get beaten up by the protagonist?
The room assigned to maids was an eight-person dorm.
However, since no separate room existed for male maids, I was using one of the remaining student dormitory rooms.
Not that I'm particularly happy about it.
The single room I'd been given was a tiny space of about two pyeong.
Fuck. Living in this body made even this room feel cramped.
"But how the hell... do I wear this?"
In both hands I held an adorable extra-large maid uniform.
"As expected, I should just rip it—"
Knock knock—
The door opened with a knock.
"You still haven't changed?"
"More importantly, isn't opening the door without permission a problem?"
I was currently topless.
"......"
"How long are you planning to stare?"
A brief silence.
Yet Kim Sae-kom showed not the slightest hint of embarrassment.
"The muscles aren't bad, but the definition is lacking. Don't you control your body fat?"
"If this isn't good, then what is?"
"Don't make such a fuss. It's obvious that a woman's body is superior to a man's, isn't it?"
Ah, right.
The one thing Ascentio, which had delivered a completely destroyed ending, refused to let its readers forget until the very last page.
This was a gender-reversed world where women trained their bodies.
Weak men were the ones who boasted about magic. Without magic, even the protagonist would have been a pathetic weakling.
He only built a harem by stimulating protective instincts.
"...That doesn't mean you should keep staring."
"Why would I look at something worse than my own body?"
Kim Sae-kom pulled up her maid uniform to reveal her hips, proudly displaying her rounded buttocks over her underwear.
What a crazy, wonderful world.
Above the raised skirt, I caught a glimpse of her slender waist and clear eleven-pack abs—the pride of her figure.
Behind that delicate appearance, she hid a weapon.
"Ahem."
A physique created by a worldview that valued definition, symmetry, and balance over pure size.
So that was why Cadrac had undervalued his own muscles that were merely large.
"......How long are you going to stand there like that?"
"Why? Have you already fallen for me—"
"Put that hideous thing away!"
I shoved Kim Sae-kom out and slammed the door.
Why was she showing off her body in a guy's room? And why the hell was my face turning red?
When I picked up the maid uniform again, I fell into an unexpected dilemma.
But... isn't Kim Sae-kom a magician?
Kim Sae-kom, the new maid chief who would later earn the title of Little Devil.
Why was she building muscle?
I could feel the author's philosophy that every named character must have an outstanding body.