Unease, Part 2
It was an ordinary afternoon special class, just like any other.
As always, I’d come back after lunch with Han Riae.
"Paran, you’ve got your special class this afternoon, right?"
Even while I was eating, Han Riae’s words from earlier kept circling in my head.
If someone had said that on any other day, I would’ve brushed it off without a second thought. But today, for some reason, I couldn’t shake the feeling that something was off.
The way she’d spoken—the rhythm of her breathing, the syllables, the pace—none of it felt like the Han Riae who usually talked to me.
And the strangest thing of all was the mana she was giving off.
It wasn’t her usual warm, gentle mana. It was cold and sharp, and that was what had been leaking out when she said those words.
So I’d asked her whether I’d done something wrong, whether I’d made her uncomfortable...
"Hm? Paran didn’t do anything wrong, so don’t worry."
She only smiled that soft smile she always wore when looking at me, and reassured me.
Still, there had been something faintly awkward about that smile...
.
.
.
The first special class afternoon of Sielm Academy’s second week.
As usual, we started with running.
Last time, I’d been utterly exhausted after ten laps, but now my physical ability had improved to the point where even fifteen laps left me with energy to spare.
"Hah... You’re growing at an absurd rate."
Professor Seres let out the words in a stunned voice, and I couldn’t have been prouder.
So all those days I’d spent running instead of ever taking the bus were finally paying off!
I’d finished the fifteen laps at an easy pace and was resting for ten minutes.
"Hmm... How much stamina do you think you’ve got left?"
"Ah, I think I could run one or two more laps."
When I said I had stamina to spare, I definitely didn’t mean I had enough left in my body to double what I’d just done.
I was still tired, still a little breathless, but compared to the me from the first day, the difference was obvious. I’d grown by several times over.
The weakling who had struggled through eight laps over the course of two hours on the first day was gone. In his place stood Lim Paran, someone who could run fifteen laps and still have enough left in him for two more.
"I see. Then, stand up. Rest time is over."
After listening to me and thinking for a moment, Professor Seres stood.
Then she rummaged through her subspace and pulled something out.
"Here. Take it. Today’s weapon."
"...Huh?"
What came out of her subspace was a heavy, long-handled axe...
Honestly, I’d half expected that the weapon would change.
No, maybe I should say I should’ve expected it.
After all, Professor Seres had said so herself after Friday’s one-on-one sparring session—that this was how we’d be proceeding from now on. And since I still wasn’t familiar with swords, and she’d brought out a spear, it seemed likely that, unless there was some major issue, we’d be rotating through different weapons.
I had expected something along those lines, but I’d been thinking of daggers or maybe another kind of weapon. Instead, out came a massive dane axe, not just any ordinary axe, and I felt completely thrown off.
"What are you standing there for? Today, we’re sparring with an axe."
Sword for the first spar, spear for the second, axe for the third...
The first time I’d picked up a spear, it had been heavier than a sword, but not so much that I couldn’t lift it.
But this...
Isn’t this too heavy?
It was still a two-handed weapon, like the spear, but unlike that spear, whose blade had been relatively small, the weight was all concentrated to one side, so it felt far heavier than it should have.
Professor Seres was glaring at me sharply, a wooden baton in one hand.
"What exactly are you dawdling for? Its weight is no different from the spear you used last time. Hold the weapon properly."
What the hell.
It weighed the same as the spear?
That was the moment I understood just how important weight distribution really was.
"...Yes."
Well, what else could I do? I had to face it head-on somehow.
I steeled myself and took my stance.
Just as Professor Seres had said, the axe wasn’t all that different in weight from the spear.
If anything, the way its mass sat heavily on one side felt oddly reassuring.
"Haaah..."
This was the first training session after the weekend, so I took a deep breath and settled myself.
"Then, here I come."
Try to block me.
The moment she said that, she charged at me with frightening speed.
Sensing that massive clump of mana bearing down on me, I quickly met it head-on.
- Thunk! Thunk!
Just like before, I managed to block the initial strike without much trouble.
On the first day, I’d barely managed to stop her opening attack on pure instinct, but my posture had crumbled afterward. On the second day, I’d managed to exchange blows, awkwardly, but I still had far too many gaps, and my defense had been broken through in the end.
So this time...
"...?"
During the previous sparring session, I’d imitated Han Riae’s movements and made full use of the spacious training ground, moving my legs as quickly as I could.
But I’m not Han Riae.
And naturally, her techniques aren’t truly mine either.
Trying to copy her methods and use them in a spar was still far beyond my level.
The solid foundation she had—her ability to move quickly and carve out a stable space of her own, her judgment in battle, her unshakeable physical ability—none of that existed in me.
If I tried to use a fighting style that didn’t suit my body, then of course gaps would appear, along with all the weaknesses born from my lack of refinement.
- Thud! Bang!
If I couldn’t move my legs properly, then at the very least I had to keep the flow going.
I gave up on Han Riae’s fluid motions and instead kept thinking, reading the rhythm of the spar.
- Swish. Swish.
One, two.
I took a slight step back with one leg and planted the other firmly against the ground.
I didn’t need to make every exchange a grand struggle.
- Thunk!
I blocked only the attacks that seemed impossible to avoid with all my strength.
Professor Seres was wielding a wooden baton, while I was holding a steel dane axe.
By weapon rank alone, I had the clear advantage.
I could cut through; she could only strike.
And yet even if we were truly exchanging blows with all our strength, the odds of me coming out ahead still hovered close to zero.
So I reduced each exchange as much as possible and focused on deflection and evasion.
If I kept dodging with huge movements like last time, my stance would fall apart for sure.
- Whoosh! Whoosh!
As I did my best to avoid her attacks with the smallest movements possible, I watched for an opening.
My heart pounded when an attack brushed past my body by a hair’s breadth.
Even with my anthropophobia, I was pouring everything I had into this sparring session.
The ringing in my ears kept interfering with the fight, and the trembling in my body kept trying to lock me in place.
But...
- Thud!
"Hm..."
"Ghk!"
There was no way I could be pushed back by something as pathetic as this phobia.
If I let something like that make me retreat, I’d feel so disgusted with myself that self-loathing would clamp down over my whole body.
After barely blocking Professor Seres’s heavy follow-up, I planted both feet hard against the ground.
- Bang!
My entire body lit up with a prickling sensation as the force traveled from my hand up through my arm.
The more I felt it, the more accustomed I became to the pain, and little by little, the fear began to drain away.
- Thud! Whoosh!
I let the combo through my shoulders and legs slide past me, then moved my feet.
I used as little space as possible.
There was no shortage at all, not even with this much room.
And then!
- Clang! Taka-taka! Krrrkkk!
I swung the axe at every opening I could spot, however small.
Honest, solid, and heavy—slow, but devastating.
I couldn’t treat it like a sword or a spear.
If a sword gave the feeling of cutting and a spear the feeling of piercing, then an axe was a weapon for cleaving down with raw force.
Of course the arc of the attack had no choice but to grow larger, and it could unleash blows far more ferocious than the weapons I’d used before.
- Crash!
The two weapons tangled together, and the sharp crack of impact rang out violently. I kept deflecting, swinging, clinging desperately to the flow of the exchange as I pressed the attack.
I was growing, and I would keep growing.
It wouldn’t do to give up at this stage if I still wanted to call myself a special admission student.
No matter how good mana was, no matter that I had eyes that could see it, no matter that I could feel mana through my whole body...
Those were advantages meant to shine only after I’d already grown. For a weakling like me to make proper use of them, my body had to catch up first.
No matter how much of a healer or mage I was supposed to be, there was still a baseline level of physical ability the body demanded.
And I didn’t even meet that minimum!
- Bang!
How was I supposed to—
- Krrrk!
—do anything at all!
- Thud! Whoosh!
I bit down hard on my lip and swung the axe.
The taste of blood on my tongue felt so vivid it was almost unreal.
* * *
Fierce.
Relentless.
Words like those had come up often.
Seres Erasian had heard them herself, too.
- Teacher!
That child had probably heard them, too...
Ugh... Damn it...
That accursed memory again...
Ever since Friday, that damned nightmare had been clawing at my nights once more.
Why was that?
- Clang!
"Hyah!"
It was obvious who was bringing that nightmare back to me.
Every time I looked at Lim Paran, that child came flooding back to me, and it drove me nearly insane.
That maddening tenacity, that will of his like a tiny spark that was slowly, steadily growing thicker and stronger.
The way he kept growing, the way his movements seemed to aim at me more and more clearly.
He had even fixed every point I’d given him feedback on last time and come back with them corrected.
And the weapon he’d chosen was an axe, a weapon with a use entirely different from swords or spears.
Unlike the others, its center of gravity was shifted to one side, making it difficult to handle.
And yet he was swinging it freely, without a hint of awkwardness.
No—he was swinging it as smoothly as if it had always been his weapon.
It was different from the sword and the spear.
The sword had been held well, but every individual motion had been awkward.
The spear was far better than the sword, but he still lacked understanding of it.
But the axe—he understood its center of gravity and swung it naturally.
Unlike yesterday, when he’d moved clumsily and held his stance so uneasily, he was now controlling his strength and softness properly, defending himself with far more solidity.
Yesterday he’d been making broad evasive movements with his whole body; now he was slipping past attacks by the narrowest margin and watching for openings.
And even now, he was still growing through the fight with me.
The gaze that had awkwardly searched for my openings before had now clearly pierced straight through my weak points.
- Tap. Tap.
He had grown enormously since Friday.
All my worries from the first day seemed almost laughable now—among the students of Sielm Academy, he was showing the steepest growth curve of them all.
Unease.
A tremendous sense of unease was spreading through my body.
"I can handle this much! Please, hit me harder, teacher!"
"..."
Ah. How long had it been since I’d felt something like this?
I wanted to teach him.
- Teacher!
But...
- This much is nothing!
...
- Tea... cher...
Haaah...
Damn it.
As expected...
- Crack! Thoom!
At that instant, a violent burst of mana erupted from Seres’s body with a harsh, splintering crack.
* * *
The small explosion burst from the weapon, and the moment it happened, I panicked and leaped back.
"Ah...?"
"Huff... huff..."
Breathing hard, Professor Seres was sweating cold sweat.
Up until just a moment ago, she hadn’t been sweating at all while sparring with me...
"That’s enough for today. Go inside and rest."
She threw her weapon down to the ground and turned her back on me.
Her footsteps were the same as always, but there was something only I could see.
The sight of tear-like, desolate mana seeping from her body was painfully clear to my eyes.
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