Nightmare and Light (2)
The warm embrace still wrapped around me gently.
It was incomparably warmer and softer than the nightmare from before.
Instead of the stale, dusty smell that had filled my nose earlier, cool, clean air crowded into my lungs.
The scenery around me was completely unlike the nightmare, and that alone told me I was still alive and well.
"Paran... are you okay now?"
"Y-yesh..."
I was still gasping through little moans, but I had improved to a degree that was impossible to compare with before.
My body, which had been as cold as ice, was slowly melting in Han Riae's arms.
I wanted to hold on to this dreamlike feeling forever.
Maybe because of that thought, I found myself clinging to Han Riae even tighter without realizing it.
She gave me a soft smile and spoke.
"Hehe, I'm not going anywhere."
"..."
At those words, some nameless feeling surged up inside me all at once.
The arms that said she wasn't going anywhere and held me again were so warm that they made any rational judgment impossible.
"Really...?"
"Who would leave our cute little Paran behind?"
Then she slowly lifted me up and seated me in her lap.
"..."
When I slowly raised my head to look at her,
her cheeks were covered with sweat, and she let out a breath of relief.
"...I'm sorry."
"...Huh?"
.
.
.
"Hey, hey, hey! Shit, wait!"
At first, it had started as a small thing.
The friendly match among the top students, the highlight of Sielm Academy's entrance ceremony, was already one of the continent's famous events.
No matter how much they called me an ice wall, I was still of the Melitton family, and moving my body gave me a kind of pleasure.
Besides, the fighting style itself was nothing but full-force hand-to-hand combat driven by Mana Circulation.
And naturally, meeting a strong opponent could be a chance to learn from them, or to identify their weaknesses and use that as a stepping stone for growth.
Only the strong could stay at the top, and only those who learned even faster could keep that position.
Of course, if it was just fighting, I wasn't especially eager for it.
I had to consider the damage around us, and I could get badly hurt myself. And finally...
Paran would be around here too...
So, no normal person would do something insane like have a fight at Sielm Academy's entrance ceremony.
Well, there were the occasional muscle-brained idiots who fought just to test their strength.
But since that was just a body-slam brawl without using mana, even mid-ranked students could put them down quickly.
And the safe way to hold this kind of fight was.
- My name is Miel Norison! I request a friendly match with Riae Melitton!
A friendly match officially recognized in the entrance ceremony banquet hall.
On the biggest stage, two cadets would spar using no magic or unique abilities at all, only bodily enhancement and reinforcement magic.
Just in case, the stage was covered in a minimum layer of protective mana, and behind it was a safety barrier installation.
It blocked and deflected almost all mana and physical impact.
A friendly match that completely separated the space inside the stage from the outside.
That was why, outside the stage, there were even people watching the duel and betting on it, and others who recorded videos and uploaded them online.
It was the true finale everyone hoped to see at the entrance ceremony.
And since my body was already itching for action,
- I'll accept that friendly match.
I took the offer at once.
What could possibly go wrong?
After that, we beat the hell out of each other.
My opponent returned in far better condition than I had expected, but I was confident in my skill, so I drove him back in one breath.
The instant his stance faltered, I struck upward hard and brought down my final heavy blow.
But then.
There were two things I hadn't expected.
One was that I'd accidentally released too much mana in a single instant, and the aftershock had blown through the safety measures.
And the second was...
"Paran!!!"
Because the safety barrier had shattered, the chandelier came crashing down, and Lim Paran was standing right where it fell.
There was no way Lim Paran could dodge that terrifying speed...
- KWA-AA-AANG!
With a violent crash, I saw Lim Paran slammed against the wall.
"Hey, you insane bitch, Han Riae!?"
Yoon Hwayeon came running up from behind.
"You lunatic! I told you you'd cause an accident... I said you needed to control your mana better!"
"W-what do I do..."
Yoon Hwayeon looked at me like I was ridiculous.
"What do you mean, what do you do? Hurry up and get him to the infirmary!"
The voice that practically struck into my ears woke me up at once.
Coming back to my senses, I quickly carried Paran and found the infirmary.
And now...
"I'm sorry..."
"...Huh?"
Lim Paran, clinging tightly to my arms, was apologizing to me.
No, why in the world was he saying that?
"P-Paran, what are you sorry for? Hm?"
"Everything..."
"Ha..."
I was the one who had made him like this, and in the end, I was the one who had made Paran cry.
If I had controlled my strength properly then, Paran would have finished the entrance ceremony safely and been resting comfortably in the dorms by now.
Even when I brought him to the infirmary after he fainted, he was still sweating coldly and grimacing as if trapped in a nightmare.
He seemed to wake up safely in the middle, but then he ended up wheezing and choking for breath.
Well, given that the banquet hall's walls, which were probably protected by some kind of spell, had taken such a massive hit that they were actually shattered, this was only natural.
And yet Lim Paran never asked me for a reason or blamed me; he only kept saying he was sorry.
I was clearly the one at fault, and Lim Paran was the victim.
So why was Paran blaming himself and apologizing?
"Ha... Paran, lift your head."
"Y-yes...?"
"Quickly."
Paran looked at me, clearly not understanding what was going on.
His pretty, delicate face was a mess of tears.
Ugh...
And yet...
He's... kind of cute...
No, no, that's not it.
I reached out and seized Paran's face with both hands.
His cheeks had warmed up a bit, but they were still cool.
"Eep!?"
Paran jolted, startled by the sudden touch and the warmth of my hands, and let out a tiny, adorable gasp.
"R-Riae...?"
"Paran."
I pressed one finger firmly into Paran's cheek.
The way his tiny lips puffed out in protest made him look even more pitiful for some reason.
Pitiful, but... I still had to say it firmly.
"It's only natural to apologize when you've done something wrong."
"..."
I steeled myself further and went on.
"I... can't know what kind of pain you've been through, what kind of environment you've lived in, what memories you have, or what kind of mindset you've had to survive with."
The words hurt to say, and I bit down on my lip.
But I had to say them.
To Lim Paran, who couldn't accept even the obvious as obvious.
"But... what I do know for certain is that I committed a huge wrong against you, and because of that, you were suffering until just now. Do you understand?"
I was the one who had done wrong to you, and you shouldn't be apologizing for it.
I was the one at fault, so Paran, you were nothing but the victim.
"......"
"I'm sorry, Paran. I'm truly sorry."
* * *
"I'm sorry, Paran."
The moment I heard those words, my mind, which had been blurred and clouded over with dust, suddenly awakened.
The guilt and helplessness I had been carrying all this time seemed to loosen, at least a little.
"Ah, ah... ah..."
And then I realized just how foolishly I had spoken.
My body was washed over with a shame so deep and unbearable I couldn't even put it into words.
It's only natural to apologize when you've done something wrong.
You didn't do anything wrong, so you don't need to apologize to me.
Because the one who did wrong was me.
Han Riae was compressing all of that into a few words and giving it to me.
She was telling me that even if I couldn't properly recognize something so obvious, I had not been at fault.
My face turned red in an instant.
I lowered my head all the way.
I was so embarrassed I couldn't bear to let her see me.
The cheeks Han Riae had been holding just moments ago were burning so hotly it almost felt as though I'd stuck a hand warmer to my face.
My face, which had been cold not long ago, was already burning hot.
"Paran, are you okay? Did I hurt you?"
Seeing me wrench free of her hands and bow my head abruptly, Han Riae asked me carefully in a flustered voice.
The hand that had been pressing my cheeks over and over just a moment ago was now gently stroking my face.
"N-no, it didn't hurt. I-I just suddenly got really hot, that's all..."
"Really? So it didn't hurt? Whew... that's a relief."
When she heard that I was okay, she let out a breath of relief and kept stroking me, and something deep in my chest trembled in response.
Han Riae, who held me so gently, corrected me, and then stroked me with such warmth.
I couldn't understand how she had gone on being called an ice wall.
Those warm eyes that responded to every little reaction of mine, who worried about me...
They didn't match at all with the image of someone people called an ice wall.
Someone whom people said you should never meet if you could help it was now wrapping me up with genuine concern, and that brought a strange sense of relief to my heart.
It must mean her solid wall was protecting me...
I moved my lips slightly.
I wanted to thank her.
"Thank you..."
"Stop. I was the one who did wrong, so I'm the one who needs to say it. You don't have to thank me."
Han Riae looked at me for a moment, then glanced at the watch built into her bracelet.
"Oh, the time really is this late already. I should be going soon."
"Is that so..."
"Yeah, I have to go now. Ordinary people aren't allowed to sleep in the infirmary... and you need to recover from your injuries too."
When I heard that she was leaving, tears nearly sprang up at once.
I was suddenly scared, and everything felt terrifying.
"Don't go... stay with me..."
"Ugh, what do I do... I don't want to leave either..."
She made a troubled face, but even so, she admitted that she didn't want to go.
"Paran, sleep for a little while. I'll be back soon."
"...I don't want to..."
"Then... here, take this."
After saying that, she took off the blue jacket she had been wearing and handed it to me.
"..."
"Cover yourself with that and sleep for a bit. When you wake up, we'll see each other again."
Han Riae's jacket still carried that distinctive citrus scent of hers.
Just breathing it in made me feel a little more at ease.
"You have to come back quickly."
"Of course. Come on, sleep."
As Han Riae patted my head, my eyelids gradually grew heavy.
All the exhaustion I'd piled up today came flooding in at once.
I buried my face deep into the pillow beside me.
The soft texture spread across my face in fine layers.
But it was a lot rougher than the embrace from before.
...The memory of burying my face in her arms just now came back to me, and I buried my burning face even deeper into the pillow.
With Han Riae's jacket wrapped around my body,
my consciousness drifted away far more quickly than I had expected.
I... was... more tired... than I thought......
* * *
"Sleep well..."
The bright sunset shining through the infirmary window wrapped the room in warm light.
That orange glow was slowly dyeing the infirmary.
The only sound was the wind brushing through the grass.
The whole place was filled with a peaceful quiet.
And in front of me,
there was Lim Paran, sleeping with my jacket draped over him on the bed.
Those round eyes, those tiny lips, that face so delicate and doll-like I could believe it had been made after the original source of dolls themselves.
Lim Paran, lit by the orange sunset, looked like a single masterpiece painted in watercolors.
There was a reason why more female cadets had been drawn to him than male cadets at the entrance ceremony.
And then there was that blue hair of his, so maddening to touch that I found myself absentmindedly petting it with no thought at all.
That small body was also perfect for hugging close.
And the sense of superiority that came from knowing I alone could feel all of that...
This insane bitch...
The more I thought about it, the more perverted my thoughts became.
Ugh... I need to get out of here fast...
If I stayed here any longer, I might not be able to resist the urge to hug sleeping Paran and wake him up.
I hurried out of the infirmary.
But there was still something else that remained in my mind.
The words Lim Paran had muttered while trapped in his nightmare...
- Please save me... it hurts...
Why had Paran, who said he had no memories, been muttering something like that?
I had tried to forget it, but it kept hammering at my head.
"Hm..."
And the mana Paran had been releasing felt very familiar, and yet alien.
Normally, mana circulates through the whole body even in everyday life.
In battle, that circulation is driven to its absolute limit.
And when Paran circulated mana while dreaming that nightmare...
his unique ability, Melitton...
Origin had manifested.
