The Weight of a Promise
Sylvia’s lips were curled into a bright, full smile as she looked at me from in front of the mansion. How could she be so radiant, even after the way I treated her yesterday? I didn't even know what kind of expression I should be wearing right now... but, as if completely oblivious to my inner turmoil, Sylvia spoke with effortless grace.
"I've been informed of your situation. You don't need to worry about a place to stay. We have plenty of empty guest rooms in the mansion. So, please, make yourself at home and stay comfortably."
At her words, I glanced sideways at the mansion, which looked impossibly massive even from this distance. It was a scale far removed from the definition of "my home" in my dictionary. Just standing at the entrance felt oppressive, and the thought that this was where Sylvia lived made it hard to breathe. How could I possibly stay comfortably in a place like this? I quickly racked my brain to see if there were any other options if I refused, but it seemed like a dead end since my legal guardian had already insisted I stay here.
I was deep in such desperate contemplation when she spoke again.
"Sebastian, could you please take Scarlet's luggage?"
"As you wish, My Lady."
My mind had been elsewhere, so I couldn't stop it. Thanks to Sylvia’s command, the man behind her—called Sebastian—had taken my bag, which contained my school uniforms, hostage.
"Scarlet, let me show you to your room," Sylvia said with a beaming smile. To my ears, it sounded like a threat: If you don't follow me obediently, I can't guarantee the safety of your uniforms. With two perfectly good uniforms and one missing a left sleeve—a bag that clearly contained the vast majority of my worldly possessions—I had no choice. Sighing inwardly, I followed her as she walked ahead with a strangely light step, entering the mansion with a resigned heart.
"Scarlet, you can stay here from now on."
"...Is this really the place?"
"Yes, this is your room. How is it? Do you like it?"
I couldn't even begin to guess how to answer that question. If I had to describe my impression the moment I walked in: everything was huge. It was several times larger than the room I was used to, and it made me feel unsettled. The other furniture was also generally oversized to match the room's dimensions. Fine, I could accept that. But even so, wasn't that a bit suspiciously large? There was one piece of furniture that radiated such a strong sense of incongruity that it drew my gaze intensely. I tried to ignore it, but I couldn't, so I finally blurted out to Sylvia,
"...What on earth is that bed? Am I not the only one using this room?"
A "princess bed," the kind draped in layers of white canopy, sat squarely in the center of the room. It was the type of bed I’d only ever seen in movies, and to put it mildly, you could probably play a game of soccer on it. Having only ever used a single-sized bed, I was flustered by the sight of something that surely required a grandiose descriptor like "Queen" or "King" size. I asked because it clearly wasn't designed for one person, but Sylvia just shrugged as if it were nothing.
"It is indeed a room for you alone, Scarlet. My bed is the same size, so don't worry about it. If the bed is too big to sleep in alone, we could just sleep together, I suppose."
My brain hit a state of overload at Sylvia's words. Eh? Sleep together? With Sylvia? Just imagining it made me feel like I was losing my mind. I bowed my head, feeling my face flush, and Sylvia covered her mouth and giggled.
"Why are you so shy? We're both girls, after all. Anyway, you haven't had lunch yet, right? Leave your luggage and let's eat first. Sebastian, please prepare lunch here."
Before I knew it, I was sitting at the table in the room with Sylvia, cutting into a steak that the man named Sebastian had brought. I realized that the saying "you can't taste your food when you're distracted" was total nonsense. Even in this situation, I could tell that what I was eating was incredibly delicious. What kind of meat was this? Was it beef? Maybe this was the taste of that "Hanwoo" I'd only ever heard about. Though, I doubted there was any Hanwoo here.
As I diligently cut my meat, Sylvia watched me eat with a satisfied expression, looking as if she were full just from watching me. I’d often heard that people felt full just watching me eat, but being stared at so intently was burdensome. I paused my hand, and our eyes met. Sylvia smiled softly and opened her mouth.
"I'm glad the food is to your liking. Oh, come to think of it, the mansion has a bathhouse. Let's wash together later this evening."
"!!! *Cough*... A... a bathhouse?"
I almost spat out what was in my mouth. I managed to swallow it with all my might because it was too good to waste, but I choked slightly in my haste. As I asked, Sylvia maintained her smile and continued,
"Yes, the mansion's bathing facilities are quite nice. I'm sure you'll love it once you try it, Scarlet."
It wasn't a matter of whether I'd like it or not. I tried to imagine myself washing with Sylvia, then immediately stopped. I feel like I'm going to lose my mind. I felt like something terrible would happen if I just stayed in this mansion, so I said the first thing that came to mind.
"I... I have to go out after lunch, so the bath... maybe next time..."
"Is that necessary? You can do it after you return. I'll be waiting, so take your time."
Sylvia's promise to wait for me was terrifying. In any case, leaving seemed like the best strategy. Operation: Emergency Escape.
I bolted outside the moment I finished my meal. The Astra mansion was located in District 3, in the north of the city. Since I had no idea what was around, I unfolded a map and used the gate to cross over to the familiar District 15. Seeing the familiar scenery put my mind at ease, but the memory of what Sylvia had said made my head spin again. As my thoughts grew tangled, I found myself walking toward the place I always visited when I felt this way.
The park I frequented, now strangely familiar. I sat on a bench and thought about how to get through today safely. Going back too late would worry Sylvia, so that was out. But if I went back too early, it would inevitably lead to a joint bath. I was racking my brain for a good solution when time flew by. Before I knew it, the sun was setting. I felt the time limit approaching, and as I sat there clutching my head in frustration, a voice came from in front of me.
"...What are you doing?"
I looked up to see Yoon Siwoo standing there with an awkward smile. It was so obvious he was trying to act like he used to that it was almost funny. "Just... thinking about something." When I answered and let out a short, dry laugh, Yoon Siwoo’s eyes went wide with surprise. Come to think of it, had I ever really laughed in front of him before? I realized anew how hard I had been struggling to extend my limited lifespan.
But now that I knew for certain that the end was set, I felt a strange sense of relief, and even with Yoon Siwoo in front of me, I felt a bit more at ease. Perhaps that was why the thought occurred to me: Wouldn't it be okay to rely on him a little?
Yoon Siwoo and Sylvia had accepted me even after learning about my past, but I knew better than anyone how dangerous it was to have any connection to a witch. That was why the only people I could honestly ask for help were those two and the guardian uncle. And among them, the one who could best alleviate my current worries was the guy right in front of me. I didn't like owing people, but I had no choice right now. I could pay him back slowly in the future. If I helped Yoon Siwoo, who would fight to protect the world, wouldn't I be able to pay it back someday?
With that thought, I said to him, "Hey, you said before that you'd help me if I had any worries, right? Is that still valid?"
He seemed not to have expected me to say such a thing; he looked flustered, then slowly nodded.
"That's a relief. Then let's go somewhere where no one can hear us. It's a bit of a sensitive topic to talk about out here. I wonder where we could go that no one would eavesdrop..."
As I racked my brain, an idea flashed through my mind. There was a place where no one could eavesdrop, and it would also solve the bath problem I had been worrying about earlier. The first time is hard, but the second time is easy. I took Yoon Siwoo and started walking.
Whoosh- Water splashed inside the translucent booth. Yes, I was taking a shower. Even I thought it was a pretty decent idea. If I washed up outside and went in, Sylvia wouldn't insist on me washing again, right? As a bonus, I left my hair slightly damp to make it look like I’d just washed. After changing into the new clothes I’d bought on the way, I opened the door slightly and said,
"You can come in now."
At those words, Yoon Siwoo, who had been waiting outside, entered the room. I learned for the first time today that a person's face could turn that shade of red. The place I had brought Yoon Siwoo to was the motel where we had gone to demonstrate my superpowers last time. Wasn't it the perfect place to wash while ensuring no one else could eavesdrop? I could have gone to Yoon Siwoo's house, but I didn't want to wash at someone else's place when I was already going to be staying at someone else's mansion.
There was nowhere to sit, so I sat on the edge of the bed and patted the spot next to me, telling him to sit. He shook his head like a madman and sat on the floor. We didn't come here to do anything bad, so why are you overreacting like that... Anyway, there was something I wanted to say to Yoon Siwoo before getting to the main point.
"'I will never let that happen,' was it?"
"...Huh? Eh? Ah... ugh..."
When I said that, his eyes went wide, and he started making strange noises like he was broken. His face, which was already red, turned a shade that looked like it might actually explode. It was a sight worth seeing, so I chuckled, and Yoon Siwoo hung his head low. He might not have known it when he said it, but hearing it from someone else makes you feel shy. Anyway, I didn't say it to tease him. Quite the opposite.
I stopped laughing and said quietly, "Thank you. For saying that."
I got off the bed and gently took the hand of Yoon Siwoo, who was sitting on the floor. The trembling of Yoon Siwoo, who had been bowing his head and shaking, stopped. I met the eyes of Yoon Siwoo as he slowly looked up. I looked into those eyes and smiled slightly.
"It means you took my side even though you knew everything. That made me quite happy. Because having a connection to a witch... it's not exactly a good thing. People will probably just think I'm a bad and scary existence. And, in reality, that's somewhat true."
I die in three years. Because of that, I couldn't keep the promise I made to Eve-sensei that I wouldn't die. Then I realized. The promise not to die was a promise that couldn't be kept from the start. Because everyone dies someday.
"Sometimes, I hear the witch's voice. Telling me to burn everything. There are times when I see hallucinations of my whole body burning. I'm trying hard not to give in to it, but honestly, I'm scared. What if I can't hold on? What if people get hurt because of me?"
If so, I thought about what I should do to keep the promise not to die as much as possible. I thought that "not dying" was the same thing as "living with all my might." That no matter how hard it gets, I will live firmly.
"I want to protect people. That is the way of life I, Scarlet Evande, want. Three years from now. At the very least, that is how I want to spend it."
I made that vow while protecting people in the gymnasium. Scarlet Evande also wanted that. So, I wanted the anxiety that I might hurt people with my own hands to disappear.
"So, I have a request. If, if I am no longer Scarlet Evande..."
I know it's asking too much. But to Yoon Siwoo, the strongest among those who know about me, the one who could stop even the witch's power.
"Then, please kill me."
I wanted to live as myself until the very end, so I made that request.