The Burden of the Protagonist
I woke up at the crack of dawn. In my groggy state, I recalled that I had been dreaming. In the dream, I was inside a small room. It was enclosed on all sides, yet one wall was strangely transparent. I couldn't see a door to get out, but I don't think I felt trapped. A frog in a well wouldn't know it was trapped in a well. To the frog, that narrow space would be the entire world. To me in the dream, that small space was my whole world, so could you really call it being trapped? However, just as a frog can see the sky beyond the well, I in the dream could guess that there was something outside that narrow world through the transparent wall. Beyond that transparent wall, there were two pairs of eyes watching me. They were watching the me inside the wall with terribly emotionless eyes. What was reflected in their pupils was a girl with red eyes and black hair. The me in the dream looked like that. To think I’ve become a girl even in my dreams now. I muttered that to myself before drifting back to sleep.
Perhaps because I woke up once at dawn and fell back asleep, when I finally opened my eyes, the sun was high in the sky. Well, it was Sunday, so it didn't really matter if I slept in. I sighed as I took the bean sprouts out of the refrigerator to make a stir-fry for lunch. It was because of a fact I had realized while making dinner after a trip to the supermarket yesterday. I was almost out of oyster sauce and cooking oil. There was only enough left for this one last lunch of stir-fried bean sprouts. I had stopped by the supermarket on Friday to buy sprouts, and I had gone again yesterday to buy a piping bag. I could have just bought them then, but like an idiot, I had created another reason to go out. Lately, there were a few things on my mind, so I kept missing these kinds of things. To go out, I had to go through all sorts of preparations, and that was such a hassle. I briefly considered just stopping by the supermarket on my way home from school on Monday, but the thought of having to eat boiled bean sprouts for two more meals meant I couldn't hold out without going. I had become a body that couldn't be satisfied with anything but stir-fried bean sprouts...
Since I was going to the supermarket anyway, I decided I should replenish my macaron ingredients, which were also running low. With that thought in mind, I ate lunch, changed my clothes, and left the house. The streets were crowded with people on the weekend. Today was the last Sunday of March. Since the first day I arrived here was March 1st, the first Monday of the month, it meant that nearly a month had passed since I became Scarlet Evande. Arriving at the supermarket, I reflected on the time that had passed and felt sentimental. Back when my daily living expenses were 300 won, I was grateful just to eat boiled bean sprouts... I was overwhelmed with emotion at the fact that I had become a person who could come to the supermarket to buy cooking ingredients just because I didn't want to eat that anymore. ...Actually, if the guardian uncle hadn't left without giving me any pocket money, I might still be living like that now.
But there was no need to be anxious. A month had passed, so in just a few more days, I would soon have a large sum of 300,000 gold. In other words, I was a reserve 300,000-aire. I was someone who was going to be about one-third as rich as a millionaire. The units seemed a bit different, but let's ignore that. Thus, I entered the supermarket with the confident stride of someone awaiting payday. And as soon as I entered, I saw the familiar sight of the "White-Haired One" and quickly performed a moonwalk.
"Hello, Scarlet. Did you come to shop?"
"......"
I had tried to leave the supermarket naturally, but perhaps because my moonwalk proficiency was lacking, I had been caught. I sighed inwardly and nodded. Yoon Siwoo, who had greeted me, stared intently at my left arm and said, "...Do you need help?"
I can shop for groceries on my own, you know. As I thought that and shook my head, Yoon Siwoo gave a bitter smile as if he had expected that. Even though Yoon Siwoo possessed the Holy Sword of Indomitability, which increased recovery, his face was full of exhaustion. And seeing that, I trembled with anxiety. When I saw him at school, I wondered if I had seen wrong, but seeing him right in front of me, I knew for sure. What on earth happened to make him like that...
"I understand. Then, see you later at school."
"Wait a second."
It felt like a situation where I had to take some kind of action, so I grabbed Yoon Siwoo, who was about to leave after saying goodbye. "I want to talk for a bit. Can you wait for me until I finish shopping?"
Yoon Siwoo, whose eyes widened as if it were an unexpected request, slowly nodded. The two pupils of Yoon Siwoo, who was nodding, were both white. That was the thing I had been most concerned about lately.
***
When I came out of the supermarket after finishing my shopping, Yoon Siwoo was waiting for me. "Sorry to keep you waiting."
"It's fine, I didn't wait that long." Yoon Siwoo said, shaking his head. It felt a bit awkward to talk while standing, so I looked for a place to talk and eventually turned my steps toward the park I sometimes visited. After taking a seat on a park bench and placing the grocery bag between us, Yoon Siwoo naturally sat a little distance away with the bag in between. ...An awkward atmosphere flowed. This was the first time I had requested a conversation with Yoon Siwoo like this, so it couldn't be helped. Until now, I had kept as much distance as possible from Yoon Siwoo to avoid incidents where I might be in danger. But after my mindset changed to wanting to save people, I felt the need to improve my relationship to some extent with Yoon Siwoo, who would eventually be at the center of the incidents.
I know, I know, but... just looking at this guy's face brings back the memory of him crying and telling me not to worry about him! Ughhh! That's why it was awkward to face him even when I visited him in the hospital... But since this was a situation I couldn't just brush off for reasons like that, I asked Yoon Siwoo, "Why did your eyes become like that? One of them was black before, right?"
"Ah, th...this? Well, should I say it's because of my ability... Ahaha, it just ended up like this somehow..."
Yoon Siwoo, who answered while stuttering, had an expression that suggested it was difficult to tell others. It seemed hard to pry into why it became like that. Yoon Siwoo's eye color changing like that was proof that he had contracted with Lucy, the Holy Sword of Humility, to draw out the true power of the holy swords. To explain it, you could call it a kind of "power-up event." If it were just becoming stronger, it would be good news, but such events usually only occur after the protagonist undergoes grueling trials. The death of a heroine, nightmares that visit every night. An event that only occurs when the mentality is pushed to the limit. The fact that such a thing happened in just a few days after he visited me in the hospital was something I hadn't expected at all. Even now, seeing the faint dark circles under his eyes and how exhausted he looked, it was clear he had gone through something difficult. In the original work, he showed himself struggling every day after becoming like that, and if he was already like this, Yoon Siwoo might collapse mentally along the way.
If the protagonist, Yoon Siwoo, collapses, it really means the end. It was a situation that made my body tremble just thinking about it. However, for some reason, it seemed like Sylvia and Yoon Siwoo had a falling out, and now that the students who were supposed to be added as heroine candidates due to the class merger after the deaths were still in other classes, I was the only one who could take on the role of caring for Yoon Siwoo's mental state. It was funny for me to be doing this when he had told me not to worry about him... I sighed inwardly and said to Yoon Siwoo, "You look very exhausted lately. Is something bothering you?"
Yoon Siwoo flinched as if I had hit the nail on the head. "Th, it's nothing. I just trained a bit hard, so..." Yoon Siwoo said that as if he were embarrassed. Knowing that he wasn't the type to get exhausted from ordinary training, I couldn't help but see it as him forcibly enduring something difficult. In the first place, Yoon Siwoo wasn't the type of personality to show others that he was struggling. He was the type to hold onto difficult things until the end. People who try to solve things alone like that usually end up collapsing after pressing it all down inside without knowing that it's festering if the problem isn't solved. Worried about what would happen if Yoon Siwoo became like that, I muttered in a small voice.
"...I'm worried, even if you say that."
I looked Yoon Siwoo straight in the eyes. "I might not look like it, but I care about you quite a bit."
I cared enough that I hadn't even noticed I was running out of cooking oil and oyster sauce. In any case, Yoon Siwoo had to be okay. For that, I could endure the awkwardness of facing him as much as I needed to. With that feeling packed into my words, I looked at Yoon Siwoo and said, "If you have any troubles or worries, tell me. I'll listen."
When I said that, Yoon Siwoo seemed burdened and avoided my gaze. Then, he turned his head away from me to hide his face and said in a small voice, "...Next time, I'll tell you next time."
Yoon Siwoo said that, then jumped up from his seat and ran off somewhere. ...Since he said he'd tell me next time, he'll say something if it gets even harder, right? I guess I'm going to end up playing the role of a counselor, something not in my cards. I lamented my sad fate as I picked up the bag and headed home.