The Butterfly’s Second Wing
I was flustered. I never expected Sylvia to show tears. She clutched the ring I had tried to put on her finger with both hands and began to weep, her face twisted in a way that made her look like a child who didn't even know how to cry aloud, letting only tears fall.
Fumbling, not knowing what to do, I gently pried her hands open and took the ring she had been gripping. A ring set with a red gemstone. Seeing the inscription inside, a wave of guilt washed over me. It was a false relationship, forged in desperation to survive without doing anything. I no longer intended to remain a bystander, so there was no need to keep pretending to be Sylvia's friend. Yet, it seemed impossible to simply erase this relationship now.
To me, friends were the pillars of life, the people who could soothe one's sorrows. The reason I loved academy-themed stories and missed my own school days was because those were the precious times when I could meet such friends. Because the meaning of the word "friend" was so significant to me, I couldn't consider the false relationship I’d built with Sylvia for my own goals as a "real" friendship. Even if Sylvia thought otherwise, as long as I didn't tell her that I had approached her with a hidden agenda, our relationship could never be truly genuine.
Still, knowing that the truth can sometimes be a devastating wound to someone, I slid the ring onto the index finger of my remaining right hand and said, "Thank you for the gift. Is the inscription on your ring the same as this one?"
At my words, Sylvia slowly nodded. "I'm glad you think of it that way."
I was the one who had deceived her, and I was the one at fault. Therefore, the weight of the ring on my right hand was something I had to bear alone. I suppressed the hardship and expressed only joy. When I smiled, Sylvia stopped crying. Her ring, on her left index finger, signified friendship. My ring, on my right index finger, signified desire and ambition. Yet, the word "friend" was engraved on both, identical in every way.
"...I heard bits and pieces from that guy, but, *sigh*... it’s unsettling."
After class, having told the other students not to worry because I was fine, I was heading to the cafeteria for Cooking Club activities with Mei when I ran into Leonor. Seeing me, Leonor let out a sigh, tapped my shoulder, and turned to walk toward the stairs. The cafeteria was in the opposite direction, though? As I stood there, bewildered, Leonor glanced back and held her index and middle fingers up to her lips. ...Aha!
I had been craving one myself, so I quickly followed her, and Mei trotted along behind us with a puzzled expression.
Up on the rooftop, Leonor and I each took a Mana Herb into our mouths.
"Want one, kid?"
"No, I'll pass."
Mei refused the Mana Herb Leonor offered with a very sour expression. It wasn't like it was bad for you, so why not join in? Then again, I couldn't really imagine Mei smoking a Mana Herb.
I took the ring off my right hand and lit the herb. When I reached out my hand, Leonor leaned in to light hers from mine—it was a funny sight. This was only the third time we’d smoked together, yet it felt so natural.
As I held the herb in my mouth and inhaled, I saw Leonor blowing a smoke ring. "Phew... *cough*... *hack*... How did you do that?"
"Heh, who knows? At some point, I just started being able to do it."
"Just how long have you been smoking, Senior?"
Leonor laughed at me for failing to mimic her. Mei asked in an accusatory tone, clearly impressed by the depth of her experience. Honestly, if someone told me Leonor had picked up a Mana Herb at her first birthday ceremony, I’d believe it.
"I started when my mother passed away, so about six years now?"
"Oh... ah..."
Mei sank at Leonor's answer. As she turned pale from stepping on a landmine, Leonor calmed her down. "Eh, don't worry about it. It's all in the past. Besides, this stuff is great for immediate effect. I only keep doing it out of habit now."
I stared at Leonor at those words. Habit, my foot. She was clearly not okay, so why tell us not to worry? She was truly, recklessly kind. If Mana Herbs were the type of thing that clouded the mind to help you forget painful things, I would have thought she was dependent on them. But the effect of a Mana Herb is to calm the mind. Unless Leonor was suffering from auditory hallucinations or something similar, smoking it might actually make her feel a bit worse.
People say time is the best medicine for hardship because, eventually, you realize there is no other way but to accept it. When your mind is calmed by a Mana Herb, you are forced to realize that fact. A clear, sharp mind is a form of violence to someone who wants to escape reality. It feels like being forced to accept it, like being told, "Face it, what else are you going to do?"
Yet, she had been smoking for six years, never turning her eyes away from her mother's death, which she still hadn't fully accepted, and was constantly trying to move forward. It must be hard. She’s impressive.
Knowing how difficult it is to accept the death of a loved one, I carefully reached out and patted Leonor's back. Leonor chuckled, then placed her hand on my head and patted it back. "I thought about offering some counseling if you were feeling depressed, but it doesn't look like that's necessary."
"Well, I was prepared for it, so it doesn't bother me much."
As I said that, Leonor slowly began to stroke my hair. "Right. If things get tough, call me. And don't be a stranger to the Cooking Club—just come by to eat. If you show up, I'll make you whatever you want."
...Cooking Club activities. Originally, the last time should have been the end. If half the first-year students had died and a massacre had occurred in the gymnasium, there would be no situation for club activities. But because I had protected them, we were able to be here today. The smile on Leonor's face as she stroked my hair was also something I had protected. Happy about that, I looked at her and smiled faintly.
Since Leonor owed me a debt, I figured I could be a little spoiled. To her, looking at me with a slightly surprised expression, I said in a playful voice, "Then, I'll be coming every Friday. Is that alright?"
Leonor’s eyes went wide, and then she burst into loud laughter, ruffling my hair. "Hahaha, of course it's alright! My cute junior is coming to visit. I'll make sure you're stuffed every time you come, so be prepared."
I nodded. Mei, standing to the side, looked a bit pouty for some reason. "Oh, by the way, Mei, can I get your phone number?"
"Huh? Oh. Yeah!"
It wasn't like that anymore.
After the smoke—no, the Mana Herb time on the rooftop ended, the real Cooking Club activity began.
"I want to make handmade chocolate for dessert, but what would be good to eat before something sweet?"
"Then obviously something spicy and salty!"
At Mei's mention of chocolate, Leonor shouted. Is "spicy-salty-sweet" the truth in this world too? For some reason, Mei and Leonor, looking quite energized, took out a pot and started cooking. Since I was officially the "eater," I sat down and waited for the food to be ready. By the way, handmade chocolate... I asked Mei, who was cooking, "Hey Mei, if you need chocolate to make chocolate, wouldn't it just be easier to eat the original chocolate?"
When I asked that, Mei stared at me with a deadpan expression. It must have been a forbidden question. Mei, you're really serious about chocolate...
I apologized quickly and waited quietly for the cooking to finish. As Mei put the melted chocolate into molds and placed them in the refrigerator, Leonor's dish was finished. It was a spicy-looking tteokbokki with a deep red sauce reduced by half. The melted cheese stretching over the top told me it couldn't possibly taste bad. By the way, Leonor and Mei's eyes were particularly intense today. It seems like a lot of women are just crazy about tteokbokki. It made me wonder if there was some ingredient in it that drove women mad.
While I was slowly picking out fish cakes instead of rice cakes, the two of them were moving their hands quietly but at lightning speed. Seeing that Mei didn't make a sound when she moved just now, she was definitely using her ability. I hadn't noticed when we were eating chicken because I was lost in sentiment, but eating tteokbokki today, I realized anew that heroes are combative even when they eat.
The psychological warfare between the two over the last remaining egg was truly more intense than the sparring match between Yoon Siwoo and Sylvia. The final winner was Leonor, though. As expected, the one who cooks is the boss.
Mei brought out the chocolate that had hardened and chilled in the refrigerator for dessert. When I took a bite of the chocolate Mei had cut, I had to admit that handmade chocolate definitely tastes different. I nodded, and Mei smiled brightly, seemingly pleased. Both the tteokbokki and the chocolate were quite large portions, but they vanished in an instant. It didn't feel like I had eaten that much today, but the saying that women have separate stomachs for meals and desserts seemed undeniably true.
After the enjoyable meal and cleanup, I said goodbye to the two in front of the school. As they drifted out of sight, I wiped the smile from my lips. The streets were still quiet.
I checked the time on my phone. 7:30 PM. It was Friday evening, but it was a bit early to jump to conclusions. According to the original story, the Friday evening of the week the incident at the gymnasium occurred, a protest would break out in District 15. It was a protest where citizens who had lost family and acquaintances expressed their anger toward the heroes. That alone would have been fine, but taking advantage of the fact that heroes were being drafted to other districts to stop the protest, monsters would cross the barrier and attack the city. I didn't know exactly which district or who would die, but I knew such an event would happen.
I stopped by a discount mart to buy bean sprouts, went home, washed up, and changed my clothes. Checking the time on my phone, I opened the window. 9:00 PM, the outside still looked calm. And 10:00, 11:00, 12:00—Friday passed and it became Saturday. Nothing happened.
Now I could be certain. The future I knew had changed. Since no one had died, naturally, no protest occurred. Since no heroes were drafted, naturally, no monsters had invaded. A future changed by my actions. Now, I could no longer be certain of what would happen in the future. The events I knew might not occur, or things I didn't know might happen. In the process, there might even be a chance that I would die.
However, I had decided to struggle desperately to save more people rather than wait for destruction while doing nothing. Though it might look like a faint breeze for now, I hoped that the end would be a storm. The butterfly began to flap its remaining wing.