The Weight of Unwanted Kindness
"...I have something to talk to you about, just the two of us. Please, come outside for a moment."
When the girl you like says something like that, isn't it only natural to get your hopes up? Watching Scarlet turn and walk out of the classroom, Yoon Siwoo thought exactly that. She didn't wait for him, striding ahead toward the back of the school building. He forcibly shook his head to clear away the scene he had imagined in his daydreams and hurried after her.
"...What did you want to talk about?" he asked, his face flushing with anticipation.
"It's nothing special. There's just something I wanted to ask you."
But she opened her mouth with her usual, emotionless, and calm expression. *Of course.* He felt a bit embarrassed for getting his hopes up on his own, but once he regained his composure, he asked her what she needed.
"I was late yesterday, right? Did you happen to say anything to Sylvia before I arrived?"
"...What did you hear from Sylvia?"
"I did hear *something*. That’s why I’m asking what you said to her."
His heart sank at the way she glared at him. The events of yesterday with Sylvia came flooding back. Like most of the girls he had met until now, he knew that Sylvia harbored feelings for him. He was human, so he didn't treat those who liked him coldly, but perhaps because it was right after he had seen with his own eyes how Scarlet was living, his head had been hot with anger, and he had spoken to Sylvia in a way that surely hurt her.
Since there had been instances in the past where other girls held grudges and fought with a girl just because he took her side, he worried that Sylvia, having heard such things from him, might have taken her anger out on Scarlet. Perhaps she had said something terrifying, like the catfights he’d heard of before—calling her a "trashy girl raised without proper manners" or a "loose woman who spreads her legs for anyone." If Scarlet had heard such things... it wouldn't be strange for her to suspect that he had blabbed to Sylvia, knowing her situation.
But he hadn't even let such words cross his lips. Why would he ever say anything that would tarnish the reputation of the person he liked? Feeling unfairly accused, he waved his hands in denial.
"I really didn't say anything like that! I just told Sylvia to stop accepting macarons from you!"
As he said this, Yoon Siwoo saw Scarlet’s face freeze coldly. After hearing his words, she asked in a small voice:
"......What did you just say?"
"...I told Sylvia to stop... taking macarons from you..."
Then, gritting her teeth, she growled, "Why on earth... did you do something like that... on your own accord..."
Her expression twisted. She was furious. He thought that from her perspective, it was understandable. But he knew the truth. He knew that Sylvia wasn't accepting the macarons because she thought of her as a friend. He knew that Scarlet was doing such things just to earn money to buy those macarons. He couldn't just stand by and watch her live like that.
"Buying macarons for Sylvia every day... it must be a burden on you."
He wanted to lighten her burden. He wanted her to stop doing that kind of work. He wanted her to value herself just a little bit more.
"So who are you to judge that on your own...!"
He felt a bit bitter that she would say such a thing. He didn't want to raise his voice at anyone, let alone her. It was just... it was all done with her in mind!
"I was just... thinking of you—!"
"If you were *really* thinking of me—!!!!"
Hearing the thoughts that had slipped out, she screamed. It was the first time he had seen her shout like that, and the first time he had seen her face twist as she shed tears. He had braced himself to be hated, but the reaction was beyond his imagination, and his heart ached.
She took a step forward and continued.
"I’m begging you..."
Her plea was a whisper compared to her shout just moments ago, but because of that, it felt as if it were being driven deep into his heart. She took another step closer and said:
"Please..."
He found himself stepping back at the sight of her approaching him, eyes locked on his even as she wept. But faster than his retreat, she reached out and grabbed his collar. The small resistance, which he could have shaken off with the slightest effort, felt overwhelmingly heavy. Tears streaming down her cheeks fell onto the collar she was gripping. The words that left her lips hurt him as much as those tears.
"Please, don't pay any more attention to me..."
Along with the faint whisper of the Holy Sword of Truth, she turned her back and ran off somewhere.
He hadn't done it because he wanted to see that look on her face. Yoon Siwoo stood rooted to the spot for a long time, until the collar dampened by her tears had dried.
"It is the truth."
The weather was clear, but Yoon Siwoo’s mood was the exact opposite—gloomy. Even when Lucy tried to comfort him with words, he didn't feel much better. It was pure depression. The only thing that caused a ripple in his stagnant emotions was the smile he saw on Scarlet’s face when he opened the classroom door. She, who was almost always expressionless except for the rare times she smiled in front of Sylvia, was smiling from the morning.
The other kids were just amazed to see a side of her they rarely saw, but having seen her shed tears yesterday, he couldn't accept that smile at face value. Feeling a sense of dissonance, and remembering her words from yesterday asking him not to pay attention to her, he had no choice but to sit in his seat with a bitter feeling left behind.
There was a sparring class starting in the first period. Yoon Siwoo grew increasingly anxious as others were called one by one. And as he feared, it happened. He sighed as he heard the name Eve called out. It was awkward to even stand face-to-face because of what happened yesterday, but of all people, the opponent had to be Scarlet. As he put on his protective gear, he glanced at her; she was still smiling as if nothing had happened yesterday.
*Does she not care?* he thought, but as they stood face-to-face, he realized that wasn't the case. She was looking slightly down, avoiding eye contact with him. Considering how important it is in a fight to read where your opponent's gaze is directed, he could tell that she was incredibly conscious of what happened yesterday. The only thing he could do was end the sparring as quickly as possible.
"If you're ready... Begin!"
To end it quickly, he threw his body forward as soon as the sparring started. It seemed she wanted to end this quickly too, as he saw her dash forward without hesitation. She was fast, but he was faster. Using his ability to freely store and retrieve swords, he grabbed the Holy Sword of Humility that appeared in mid-air and swung it at her. She dodged the horizontal slash by bending her knees and lowering her stance.
He was impressed by the physical ability she used to exploit the opening created by narrowly dodging his attack, but it was a pattern he had already seen in the previous sparring session. As long as he knew it, he wouldn't get hit. He stored the Holy Sword of Humility and drew the Holy Sword of Protection to deploy a barrier. Her attack, wreathed in flames, was quite strong, but not enough to break the defense of the Holy Sword of Protection. The moment her attack was blocked, he switched swords again and swung at her.
He thought, *This is the end.* He had swung the attack intending to stop it just before it touched her body. That meant he hadn't expected her to block the incoming sword with her hand.
Blood splattered. By the time he panicked and forcibly stopped the attack, the sword had already dug into her hand. It was a dizzying moment where her entire hand could have been blown off. And even in that situation, she was smiling without a single change in expression.
*She's broken.* Seeing her casually wipe her blood-splattered face as if wondering if there was some kind of problem, that thought crossed his mind. Just how accustomed to pain must one be to act like that? Seeing her indifferent demeanor, the image of her face twisting and crying yesterday suddenly came to mind. If someone as accustomed to pain as her could cry like that, just how deep a wound had his actions—which he claimed were for her sake—inflicted upon her?
*What do you mean, for her sake? I just forced my own thoughts onto her.*
Just as he was blaming himself and trying to figure out how to apologize, she spoke as if she had read his mind.
"Don't pay attention."
'Please, don't pay any more attention to me...'
The words she had said to him while crying yesterday. To her, who told him not to pay attention to her as if he didn't even have the right to apologize, Yoon Siwoo could say nothing.