The Weight of a Hidden Heart
"Siwoo, you really do hate staying indoors, don't you?"
"It's not like it's any fun sitting in an empty house. I'd much rather walk around outside than watch TV or surf the internet." Yoon Siwoo replied to Lucy as he strolled down the street. It wasn't a lie, but it wasn't the whole truth, either.
Yoon Siwoo had grown up as an orphan. It wasn't that he didn't know his parents' faces; there were a few photographs of them holding him as a baby, and faint memories of them lingered in his mind. But his parents, who had been heroes, had crossed a river from which they could never return, leaving him behind while he was still just a child. He had spent his childhood in an orphanage that took in the children of fallen heroes. People provided generous support for the children of those who had fought and died for them, and the caretakers treated the children with love. Because of this, the children at the orphanage grew up bright and energetic despite having no parents. He, too, had never felt any discomfort with that life.
However, there was one thing Yoon Siwoo had wanted since he was young. He was curious about what a "real" family felt like. The adults at the orphanage treated him like their own child, but he had to leave their side once he came of age. That was far from the image of a real family that Yoon Siwoo had envisioned. Of course, he kept these worries buried deep inside, knowing that the adults at the orphanage would be saddened if he spoke of them. As for the other children? Even now, the girls at the orphanage were constantly vying for his attention, each claiming that Siwoo would grow up to marry her. If he ever said he wanted a real family, it was certain that a full-scale war would break out, not just petty squabbles.
Yoon Siwoo’s dilemma was resolved on a dawn not long after he turned eight. At an hour when everyone was asleep, he felt a sensation as if something were connected to him. Startled by the peculiar feeling, Yoon Siwoo cautiously asked, "Who's there?" At that moment, a sword appeared before his eyes. A pure white blade without a single speck of dust—Yoon Siwoo instinctively knew that this sword was the very thing connected to him.
"Little one, you possess an interesting ability. I am in a rather good mood, so I shall grant you a wish. I can give you immense power or overflowing wealth, if that is what you desire. Come, speak. What is it that you want?"
A soft, feminine voice echoed. Yoon Siwoo knew the sword before him was speaking. He was reminded of a fairy tale he had read recently—the genie in the lamp who granted wishes. Yoon Siwoo made the wish he had thought of while reading that story to the sword that asked what he desired.
"Um... then, can you become my family?"
People die eventually. Just like his parents who had left him behind. Yoon Siwoo dreamed of a family that wouldn't leave him all alone. Unlike humans, a genie in a lamp does not die. He assumed the sword speaking before him wouldn't die either. That was why he asked the sword to be his family.
"...Interesting. Truly, an answer I did not expect. Since I cannot take back what I have said, it is only proper that I grant it."
The sword moved right up to Yoon Siwoo’s nose. Though a bit startled, the sword spoke in a voice that soon regained its composure.
"Little one, let us make a contract. I do not know what form of family you desire, but I shall stay by your side until the day you no longer need me. That will suffice, will it not?"
"Yes. And I'm not a 'little one,' I'm Yoon Siwoo."
"I see, Siwoo. I am... the Holy Sword of Humility. If you wish to form a contract, grasp me."
Yoon Siwoo reached out at the words of the sword that called itself the Holy Sword of Humility, but asked just before his hand touched it, "Hey, 'Holy Sword of Humility' is a bit long. Don't you have another name?"
"A name... In that case, call me... Lucy."
Yoon Siwoo’s small hand grasped the sword. A pure white light flowed from the hand holding the sword and covered his body. When the light that had enveloped him for a moment faded, Yoon Siwoo’s black hair and left eye were dyed pure white, as if the white light from just moments ago had settled into them. That day, Yoon Siwoo became family with the Holy Sword of Humility, Lucy.
Since then, Lucy had become an inseparable part of Yoon Siwoo’s life. She became the sword-fighting mentor for Yoon Siwoo, who wanted to follow in his parents' footsteps and become a hero, and after 15-year-old Yoon Siwoo left the orphanage, she helped him obtain new holy swords by revealing the locations of hidden ruins. It would have been impossible for Yoon Siwoo to enter the Academy without Lucy. Using money earned from selling some of the treasures found in those ruins, Yoon Siwoo had purchased a country house not far from the Academy and lived there. He never felt lonely because Lucy was always by his side, but the large house he had bought with a hefty sum sometimes made him crave human warmth when he lay there quietly, which was why Yoon Siwoo had come to enjoy wandering outside like this every day.
The city, located inside a magical barrier constructed by a great archmage long ago with the hope of creating a place where people could live in peace, was tranquil. Walking down the street, one could see people’s smiling faces. Yoon Siwoo felt better just by seeing that. He thought those smiles were truly worth the many heroes sacrificing their lives to protect, and he could understand a little why his parents had made that choice.
As he walked, he remembered that he was running low on groceries and headed to the mart. While he was tossing things he saw into his basket, a girl with red hair entered the mart. It was Scarlet Evande, a classmate.
Lucy said to Yoon Siwoo in a sly voice. Yoon Siwoo shouted at Lucy to be quiet in his mind, then naturally approached Scarlet and greeted her. Scarlet just nodded slightly without saying much. Since she had always been a bit cold to him, Yoon Siwoo pondered what he should say to keep the conversation going. He remembered the saying he had read in a book when he was young: "Praise makes even a whale dance." He didn't expect her to dance, but he thought she wouldn't feel bad about being praised.
"Scarlet, you're a filial daughter, aren't you?"
"I don't have parents."
And he had stepped on a landmine. Yoon Siwoo felt his mind go blank. He knew all too well how hurtful it was to bring up parents to someone who didn't have them, especially since he was one of them. So, he immediately apologized to her with as much regret as he could muster.
"Don't worry about it. We're both in the same boat, not having parents."
Scarlet said this nonchalantly. He was flustered. He didn't remember ever telling anyone else that he didn't have parents. *Did I ever mention that I didn't have parents?* When Yoon Siwoo asked, Scarlet answered as if it were obvious.
"Just... you look like it."
She said it so matter-of-factly that he blurted out, "Really?" The Holy Sword of Truth informed him that she was speaking her true heart. To the confused him, she gestured for him to go away, as if telling him not to bother her. He left the mart without resolving his questions.
As Yoon Siwoo returned home, he thought about how she could have known. He had thought she was a child with good observation skills from the moment he first saw her. Didn't she notice high-level illusion magic faster than even him, who possessed the Radiant Holy Sword and couldn't even see through it at a glance? And didn't she punch him for peeking at her naked body after realizing he could see through illusion magic? Perhaps, because she was a girl without parents, she could instinctively recognize someone else without parents. As he thought this, Lucy said in a voice that sounded like she was lamenting.
Stupid? Yoon Siwoo didn't understand Lucy’s words. The next day, Yoon Siwoo had lunch and was walking down the street as usual. And with senses far superior to ordinary people thanks to the protection of the Holy Sword, he quickly hid behind a building when a familiar red color entered his field of vision. He didn't know why he had taken such an action, but for some reason, he didn't have the courage to go and talk to her naturally. Maybe it was because of the slip of the tongue he had made yesterday without much thought. As Yoon Siwoo was thinking this, Lucy said in a bitter voice.
*Shut up, Lucy.* Yoon Siwoo, who had snapped at Lucy, peeked his head out again to take in Scarlet’s appearance. Come to think of it, this was the first time he had seen her in plain clothes. Even when she came to shop yesterday, she had been wearing her school uniform. Her long, straight hair, which reached down to her waist, fluttered in the wind. Dressed neatly in a long skirt that reached her ankles and a cardigan, unlike other girls her age who showed skin, she looked even more mature today. His heart began to beat a little faster than usual. Just as he was about to lean out, thinking of trying to talk to her, he saw that the corners of her eyes were red. His rapidly beating heart sank. Yoon Siwoo remembered the conversation he had with her. She had spoken as if it were nothing, but perhaps she had actually been hurt. He pictured her in an empty house, crying alone while looking for her parents. The body he had been about to lean out pulled back in. He felt it would be difficult to face her face.
Yoon Siwoo started moving again only after Scarlet had moved far away from his sight. He naturally followed behind her. Seeing him like that, Lucy called out to him in a regretful voice, saying, "[Siwoo...]," but Yoon Siwoo didn't know why he was doing this either. Yoon Siwoo witnessed Scarlet helping an elderly woman with her luggage. He could catch a glimpse of her kindness in her footsteps as she shortened her stride to match the grandmother’s pace. His own footsteps, which had been following behind her, slowed down to match, but his heart beat even faster than before. After taking the grandmother to her destination, Scarlet walked to a nearby park and sat on a bench. Yoon Siwoo was watching her from a distance. Her gaze, which had been slowly scanning the people in the park, became fixed on one spot. It was the sight of children running around and a couple laughing while watching them. After watching them for a while, Scarlet eventually reached her hand toward the sky and tilted her head back.
"Perhaps I am a person who shouldn't exist in this world..."
Her voice, speaking so sorrowfully, pierced Yoon Siwoo’s ears. The fact informed by the Holy Sword of Truth weighed heavily on him. *It is the truth.* He, like her, had no parents, but he had Lucy. But unlike him, what must it have been like for her, who might have spent her entire life alone? Yoon Siwoo’s heart ached so much at this moment because he couldn't empathize with her feelings. That was why. He had inadvertently made a noise at the sight of her wiping her reddened eyes with her hand. Had she noticed that presence? She looked toward where he was, startled, and then ran off somewhere. The beating of his heart felt painful. Yoon Siwoo, who placed his hand on the source of that heartbeat, wore a bitter smile. He had tried to deny it all this time, but it seemed he could no longer do so. The thing that made his heart ache was, without a doubt, the emotion of love.