A Place to Let My Guard Down

After eating dinner, I was lying in bed sending texts to let everyone know I was safe, when a notification suddenly popped up on my phone. It was a bank deposit alert. I opened my account to check.

"Wait... how many zeros are there? One, two, three, four... Gasp, who on earth sent this much money?"

Upon checking, it turned out to be a massive sum deposited under the guise of "compensation" from the Dolos family—the very people who had personally interrogated me under suspicion of treason.

To be honest, it wasn't that I didn't feel wronged. But it was simply too much money to scream, 'You think you can make up for what you did with money?!'

Staring at the numbers on my screen and doing some quick mental math, I concluded that this was more than enough. With this amount, I could finally do what I had only been dreaming of.

However, it wasn't something I could just do on a whim; I needed permission. Just as I was about to make a call, my bedroom door swung open naturally.

There was only one person who would enter my room so casually. Sure enough, it was Sylvia.

"Oh, Lady Scarlet! You're awake! How are you feeling? Is your body alright?"

Sylvia, looking a bit exhausted as if she had just returned from her schedule, gasped in surprise when she saw me sitting up and rushed over to ask how I was.

I slipped my phone away, put on my usual nonchalant expression, and replied, "Yes, I think I'm fine."

"Really? Whew, thank goodness. I was so worried that something ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠might be wrong with you. Did you read the note I left? I hope I wasn't being too overbearing."

"Not at all. Thanks to you, I got some good rest. Thank you for looking out for me."

At my words, Sylvia offered a soft smile, walked over to the bed, and sat down right next to me. She stared at me quietly for a moment, then gently took my hand.

And then, a single tear rolled down her cheek.

Startled by her sudden tears, I cried out, "Huh...?! Sylvia, what's wrong? Are you hurting somewhere?!"

"...No, no. It's just... seeing that you're okay, Lady Scarlet, I suddenly feel so relieved..."

My reflection was mirrored in Sylvia's trembling, tear-filled blue eyes. She spoke to me in a choked, trembling voice.

"...I'm just so glad you're safe. I... I thought I would never be able to talk to you like this again..."

I really made her worry. The thought made my chest tighten. Seeing her like this made me realize all over again just how much I had come to mean to her.

Lately, it was becoming more and more apparent. Getting close to someone would only end up hurting them more in the end.

That was why I knew I had to push her away. Yet, seeing her cry, my heart helplessly softened.

I gently pulled the weeping Sylvia into my arms and embraced her head. Perhaps overwhelmed by the gesture, Sylvia let her emotions spill over, sobbing against my chest.

"Ugh, I'm so sorry. I... I promised I would always help you when you needed it, Lady Scarlet. But when the Witch took you away, I couldn't do anything. I'm so, so sorry..."

It had been a promise she made almost entirely on her own, yet she felt a deep sense of responsibility for failing to keep it. Watching her repeatedly apologize left a bitter taste in my mouth.

Sylvia was just that kind of girl. She was slow to open her heart to others, but once she did, she wanted to give them the world.

I had known it would turn out like this, which was why I had tried my best to avoid getting close to her in the first place...

With those thoughts swirling in my head, I gently patted Sylvia's back and spoke.

"Sylvia, don't apologize for that. There was nothing you could have done in that situation."

"...But I'm still sorry."

"You helped me to the absolute best of your ability. If you hadn't been there during the interrogation, things would have gone terribly wrong. Thank you for helping me, and for believing in me."

When I said that, Sylvia peeked up from my chest, looking up at me with tentative eyes.

"...Was I... really of help to you, Lady Scarlet?"

"Of course."

"...Then, please pat my head."

Sylvia requested, her face flushing slightly.

As I stroked her hair just as she wanted, she seemed to calm down, letting out a soft, giggling hum against my chest.

I stroked her head for a while, but when I finally tried to pull away, Sylvia clung to me tightly, refusing to let go.

Wondering what was wrong, I looked down at her. She mumbled in a small, pleading voice, like a child throwing a tantrum.

"...If you want me to let go, make a promise with me."

"...What kind of promise?"

"...Promise me that you'll never say sorry and leave all by yourself again. I hate it. I hate the thought of not being able to see you, Lady Scarlet. So please, promise me you won't do that..."

Sylvia's voice trembled slightly as she held me tight. I could feel the deep-seated anxiety of what she would do if something like that happened again.

It showed just how traumatized she had been by the incident. If she was this shaken even though I had returned safely, what would have happened if things had gone wrong?

She would have been utterly devastated, crying her eyes out. The vivid image in my mind made my heart ache.

I wanted to reassure her, but I couldn't make that promise. Because I, more than anyone else, knew the reality of my own condition.

Instead of giving her the answer she wanted, I asked a different question.

"...Sylvia. Do you still want to be friends with me?"

"...Yes. Because you are my precious, precious friend, Lady Scarlet."

Sylvia nodded without a moment's hesitation.

Hearing her answer, I spoke again.

"...I feel the same way. I've always wanted to be friends with you, Sylvia. Because you're just as precious to me."

"...Then..."

I saw a spark of hope light up in Sylvia's eyes.

But since what I had to say next was the exact opposite of what she was hoping for, I could only offer a bitter smile.

"That's why... I can't be friends with you, Sylvia. No, I must not."

Her eyes trembled at my incomprehensible words. It pained me, but I knew this was necessary—both for her sake and mine.

"As you know, Sylvia, I'm not a normal person. I'm bound to bring harm to those around me again, just like this time. I realized that all too clearly through this incident. Because you are so precious to me, I don't want to burden you. I don't want to owe you any more debts."

"I...! I don't care about any of that! Please don't think of it as a debt! You're not a burden at all! I help you because I want to, Lady Scarlet! I do it because I like you! So please, don't worry about it!"

"Because you're that kind of person, I feel even more strongly about this. You're someone who gives endlessly to those you consider friends. And while I hate being indebted, I'm also the type to unconsciously lean on my friends. If we keep going like this, I'll end up placing a burden far too heavy on your shoulders without even realizing it. I don't want to do that. That's why, Sylvia..."

I looked at Sylvia, who was staring back at me in utter confusion, and voiced the decision I had made earlier.

"I'm going to leave this mansion."

It took a tremendous amount of effort to calm Sylvia down as she clung to me, crying and throwing a fit.

I tried my best to explain, but it seemed she simply couldn't accept the fact that I was leaving the mansion.

So, the next morning, after comforting a tearful Sylvia a few more times, I had no choice but to pack my few belongings and practically flee the estate.

In truth, there were several other reasons besides the ones I ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠had given her. But I couldn't tell her those. There was no way I could.

You are too kind... and too weak for me to live here in peace.

I don't think you could bring yourself to kill me if the worst came to pass. That's why I can't truly let my guard down in a place like this.

Besides, there were simply too many people living in the mansion.

So, having left the estate, I decided to find a new place to stay. A house with almost no one else around. And above all, a place where I could let my guard down, even if only a little.

How long had it been since he had enjoyed such a leisurely rest?

Although his body had been perfectly healed by the Holy Sword of Indomitability, Yoon Siwoo had been barred from returning to his unit and forced to take a mandatory leave. Thus, he was currently idling away at home.

Since he had already done more than enough training with Lucy while he was asleep, he had absolutely nothing to ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠do during his waking hours.

As Yoon Siwoo was pondering what to do with this unexpectedly long vacation, his phone suddenly rang. He picked it up and pressed it to his ear.

Startled by the voice of the last person he expected to hear, he cried out in surprise.

"Huh?! Uh, yeah! I'm completely free! What's up?"

The phone slipped from Yoon Siwoo's hand.