Plan
Plan
You couldn't judge a person by appearances alone.
Well, sometimes there were those who claimed they could tell at a glance, but usually you just didn't know.
The fact that you had to keep talking or working together with someone and watch them over time to really know their true worth was an utterly common, unremarkable truth.
Even so, there were times when people forgot that fact without meaning to. Just like I had now.
Before entering the dungeon, I'd coldly treated the three troublemakers as dead weight. I hadn't expected them to provide me with this much entertainment. Not even one bit.
Maybe it was because the entertainment was so unexpected, but that only made it even more enjoyable.
"H-Hero! Help usss!"
"U-wooah! Die, monster!"
"Gyaaahk!"
The ones who'd had no weapons of their own and ended up grabbing the swords and shields the academy had pre-stocked as spares before following us in were now locked in a bloody struggle with goblins.
The difficulty had been rated red-rank, so I'd wondered why it was only goblins, but a group of more than twenty was a different matter. Even then, with five party members, it would normally be blue-rank difficulty at most.
So the academy had designated our teleport destination as the goblins' lair.
A goblin horde suddenly appearing right in front of you the instant the transfer finished was enough to justify a red-rank rating.
Of course, Zeke and I had slaughtered all but three of them. But watching those guys having individual one-on-one sessions with the remaining three goblins while shrieking like that—how could you not laugh?
It was a damn shame I didn't have popcorn.
"Look at your ass sticking out! Are you courting the goblin or something?! Can't you stand up straight?"
"P-please, save me!"
"If you die to that thing, your soul'll be so fucking embarrassed it'll die all over again, you idiot! Your skull's gonna crack! Block!"
The Hero and I weren't doing this just to screw with them. We were actually helping them put up at least some kind of fight so they'd be even a tiny bit less humiliated. Otherwise, when we needed to reach the center before the other teams and grab whatever badge or token was there, why would we waste time on this nonsense?
The process was just funny as hell, that was all.
"You sure know how to hold a sword. With strength like that, why'd you even bring a shield and longsword?"
"Pure vanity—probably thought a short sword would look too shabby."
Perched side by side on a pile of rocks, collecting suitably sized stones from our surroundings and chucking one whenever the guys seemed about to get into a real crisis—that was what Zeke and I were doing right now.
Their fundamentals were so completely unformed that even I could predict their crises two moves in advance, and thanks to that, although they themselves probably felt like they were walking a tightrope, the guys could move their bodies in a perfectly safe state with no actual threat to their lives.
Thwack! went a stone Zeke threw, nailing a goblin right in the eye.
Thanks to that, the goblin that had tried to strike the Mountain Kingdom envoy's instep through the opening created by his awkwardly raised stance failed and had to clutch its face instead.
"You fighting an orc, you little shit?! Why aren't you lowering your knees and waist?! Is that a tower shield you're holding? It's a round shield, isn't it?!"
"Haa... Haa...!"
"Good grief, you pathetic little shits. Seriously."
Zeke's mouth was spewing harsh words, but he was thoroughly enjoying the situation too. Only after a grueling struggle of over ten more minutes did the three finally defeat the goblins, looking as haggard as soldiers who'd fought for three days and nights straight.
Naturally, from our perspective, it was a truly laughable, pathetic, sigh-inducing spectacle. They probably never dreamed they'd go through this kind of hell.
"Anyone watching would think you've been in this dungeon a week already. What in the world gave you the confidence to sign up?"
Participation was completely voluntary, so they had no one to blame but themselves. They knew it too; all they could do was look miserable and gasp for breath without arguing back.
"Don't forget that tension. Keep up, and watch your surroundings properly."
"C-can't we rest just a little bit first?"
"With your bodies, if you rest now, you'll just collapse and won't get back up. If you want to give up and tear your return scrolls, go ahead. I won't stop you."
Having already failed to win Zeke's favor, if they backed out and bailed not even an hour after joining with so much bravado, their own kingdom would be just so very pleased with them. The guys started moving and following after Zeke and me without another word.
"It doesn't feel artificial at all. Do they let the ecosystem develop naturally over time?"
"Dunno. I only know they brought in specialist mages to make it; beyond that, I don't know much either. But you're right that it doesn't smell artificial at all."
Still, given they'd thrown us right into a goblin den, it was probably right to assume they were doing some degree of management and grasping the terrain. If that was the case, it also meant they maintained and repaired the facility, so there was a high probability of traps that would easily break down if not maintained.
"There could be floor traps, so I'll take the lead."
"Oh, you know that kind of stuff too? Impressive."
"I had plenty of time to learn."
I'd spent a little over six years squeezing every bit of time I could out of condensed hands-on training from Asilie, an expert instructor. I was on a different level from middling adventurers.
I sorted through the expected traps, factoring in the surrounding environment and the students' lessons, then started moving.
The result? What was there to say? Naturally, I hit 100% of my shots and drew an impressed reaction from Zeke.
"This is seriously useful knowledge. See, scouts really are important. We don't have a scout, so we're really weak in areas like this."
"Your Hero's party? Don't you have an elf with you?"
"She's a magic knight. Can't use a bow."
"Wait, how does an elf who can't use a bow make any sense?"
What was this, a blacksmith who couldn't lift a hammer? But there was neither a joke nor a lie in Zeke's expression.
"She's quiet at school but a total tomboy. By elf standards, she's still young, so she threw a tantrum back home and learned only the sword and magic. Bows, she said, are too stifling—can't use 'em."
"That's ridiculous. Thinking ahead, shouldn't you ask the Empire to find at least one person like that?"
"Why bother? You're right here."
He smiled as if I were dependable and tried to clap me on the back, so I hurriedly dodged away to make my refusal clear.
"A hard road's laid right out ahead, and you think I'd jump in there like a madman? Don't even dream of it."
"Your goal's a hard road too, anyway. Wouldn't you actually reach it quicker if you ran with us?"
"How am I supposed to know when the Hero will go to the front? By next year, I'm planning to receive my investiture as a wandering knight and start tracking that bastard down myself."
"Ho-oh. So that's how it is."
Zeke's eyes suddenly lit up, giving me the strong feeling I'd said something I shouldn't have, but nothing else happened and we continued toward the center without trouble. We did find traces of a couple of orcs and some isolated gnoll groups along the way, but since there was no reason to fight them, we simply avoided them.
I was the one clearing the route, but honestly, it was practically a cheat code. I couldn't complain about confirming that Asilie's lessons worked anywhere, but things ending this easily was almost disappointing.
Still, this whole thing seemed to be getting hologram-style live-streamed through those crystal orbs or whatever. Our progress must've obviously been boring as hell for them to watch.
"Sounds like fighting."
So we moved on calmly, while the three pieces of baggage were so tense they barely breathed. Then the faint sound of weapons clashing drifted from somewhere in the distance.
"Monsters or people?"
"If we were in a forest, I might be able to tell, but I'm human too. It's hard to distinguish it from here."
The echo inside a dungeon or cave was just too severe. Elves and dwarves could probably tell easily, but I wasn't at that level.
"It's on the path we have to pass through anyway. What do you want to do?"
"Is there a choice?"
"We've got two options: rush in and ambush them while they're still fighting, or wait until the battle looks close to ending and attack then."
"The latter sounds pretty fun. Think there'll be terrain where we can hide and watch?"
"Then let's get close enough first, and if the terrain looks good, we'll spectate. If not, how about we just smash right in?"
"I like that. Let's go!"
You just couldn't resist watching a fight or a fire.
And if it wasn't a battle between masters but a fight between people weaker than us? I was sure it'd be so entertaining I'd sell my soul just to somehow get popcorn that didn't even exist here.
Zeke must've had a similar sensibility about such things, because he grinned from ear to ear, ducking low, killing all noise, and followed me toward the source of the sound.
As the noise grew closer and closer, it became unmistakably a fight between people, and just when our anticipation was at its absolute peak, we realized the battle was raging right beyond the wall blocking our path.
"Hah. A shame. Doesn't look like there's a spot to sneak a peek, does it?"
Zeke, who'd been anxiously looking around with me, worried the fight might end in the meantime, asked in a disappointed tone. And truly, tragically, I too could draw no other conclusion.
"Damn it, things like this never go the way you want, I swear. We can break through a wall like this, right?"
"You want me to smash it to bits or turn it to powder and let it collapse?"
Zeke looked every bit as confident as someone well versed in magic. I drew my sword and answered him with equal certainty.
"Obviously, we smash it so the flying debris hits 'em."
"Right. That's how you do an ambush."
Zeke bared his teeth in a grin and drew his sword, so I smiled too and adjusted my stance.
Ambushes were always the right call, after all.