Karma

In the utterly awkward silence, I waited endlessly for Esmue and Ragnis, but perhaps because things were complicated on their end as well, even though what felt like quite a lot of time had passed, they showed no sign of coming.

Thanks to that, with a feeling no different from sitting on a bed of needles, I did nothing but repeat the cycle of staring at the endlessly pouring rain and then gauging Asilie's reaction.

The one who broke the long-maintained silence first was Asilie.

"So, which young lady are you interested in?"

Her words sounded calm, but I had already realized that my own ability to read a room might be hopelessly bad, so I couldn't help but be suspicious of everything. Above all, because the chilling atmosphere I had felt earlier had been genuine, even though I wasn't about to lie or say anything evasive, I couldn't help but be intensely nervous.

"Well, big sis? It's true I couldn't turn down someone who said she liked me. But I still have my grand life goals, you know?"

"So you're saying that no matter what method those young ladies use to approach you, you have absolutely no thoughts about it right now?"

What is this? I felt a sense of deja vu in this situation where she was preemptively taking the words out of my mouth.

"Uh-huh... right. That's my position on it."

"Should I take 'that's Eldi's position on it' to mean that the young ladies are already acting regardless of your position?"

"Ah... that's... right."

"And given that you're not offering any rebuttal to me asking 'which young lady' you're interested in, it means this includes not just Princess Esmue but also Ragnis?"

I was momentarily at a loss for words.

I had never imagined I'd be subjected to a leading interrogation like a snake slithering over a wall!

"Hmm..."

Having taken my silence as affirmation, Asilie, with a somewhat deeply subdued expression and air, briefly lowered her eyes and began ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠to ponder.

I hadn't expected our reunion after so long to get tangled up in this kind of unintended romantic mess. Even more so because, by my perception, my brush with death had been only a short while ago, making the temperature difference far too extreme.

But more than anything, it was just too unsettling and hard that something like this made Asilie worry and grow somber.

And I could clearly tell that this wasn't merely a matter of having caused worry for my guardian and family, but that I was afraid it would lead to a situation where Asilie became disappointed in me or misunderstood me.

It felt like ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠I had finally realized, after having forgotten for far too long, that this feeling was the desire to never disappoint someone I care for and to always appear admirable in their eyes, but for now, I could only wait until Asilie opened her mouth first.

"Eldi charging toward danger is... yeah. It's hard, but right now, it can't be helped. So I can understand it. I think I was able to be sure of that through this opportunity."

As if she had noticed my wish, Asilie spoke.

"And I've also clearly realized now that I don't want to remain by Eldi's side only as a guardian going forward."

At those words, my heart began to race to a degree unprecedented even looking back over my entire life.

Looking me straight in the eyes, Asilie quietly took my hand and continued speaking. There was no trembling. Just a state of boundless calm, as if she had resolved to convey her feelings plainly and matter-of-factly.

"You ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠might think it's unbecoming for an elf who's lived 120 years, but I love Eldi."

Though I might look a bit older, ultimately I was still just a 15-year-old kid, so how exactly had she come to feel love for me? From my perspective, even though I had made ceaseless efforts to appear as mature as possible in front of her without being conscious of age, I thought that from her receiving end, it might not have seemed that way at all.

I had only ever thought that the day I, who merely had a high mental age due to memories of my past life continuing, would be accepted by her as an equal adult was far off. So I couldn't help but ask.

"Don't you... think I'm just nothing more than a little kid?"

"If you want to be technical about it, from my perspective, aren't most humans little kids? Maybe I should call it a trait of the long-lived species... age honestly doesn't mean much. In the end, it's heavily influenced by the spiritual rapport you have with the other person."

Asilie, who had been speaking while looking at my hand, smiled quietly.

"Originally, I wanted to say this confidently once Eldi achieved his goal and came back. Because I believed Eldi was more than capable of doing it. It's not that I don't believe it now... but after seeing Eldi injured, I suddenly got scared. Thinking that I might not get to convey my feelings like this, and that Eldi might disappear somewhere I'm not around, I found myself unable to think of anything. And then learning that human children even feel those kinds of emotions toward Eldi. Hmm, hmm. Well... I got jealous."

So I was a bit overly sensitive at first. To Asilie, who said that, I couldn't bring myself to tell her it hadn't just been 'a bit' overly sensitive, but terrifyingly so.

"In the old days, I used to look at friends who were swayed by things like this and think they were fools, but sure enough, experiencing it myself, it was completely different. I got so impatient I couldn't stand it. I'm sorry."

Since I didn't know what exactly she was apologizing for, I just tightly gripped Asilie's hand.

I was too embarrassed to say it easily out loud, but since I thought this at least I absolutely had to say, I barely managed to force the words out.

"I love Asilie too."

"As family?"

"...You know it's not that."

Along with the pounding of my heart, what I felt was profound relief.

With the assurance that this didn't have to end as a pseudo-family relationship, my affection for Asilie over the time we spent together was unexpectedly reciprocated. In the feeling of facing an unforeseen gifting offensive, I found myself unable to find anything to say, and while I felt the warmth of our clasped hands, Asilie stood up from her seat and pulled ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠me into an embrace.

"Thinking about it carefully, I guess I was unconsciously treating Eldi like a hero."

"Hero?"

"Yeah. A hero who learns and grows all on his own, who doesn't break even when facing hardship, and in the end, saves the world with his power alone. Actually, aside from saving the world, it did seem like you were doing pretty much the same things."

Looking back, it all seemed like just a struggle to survive in this world in one piece, but it seemed Asilie had interpreted it in a pretty favorable light.

"But even a hero can't do everything alone in the end, and you handled everything so well on your own, I guess I overestimated you."

"That's totally just being a doting fool..."

"Shall we not ruin the mood?"

"Uh-huh."

Now it seemed just seeing her eyes grow heavy-lidded was enough to make me instinctively cower. Having looked at me with dissatisfied eyes for a brief moment like that, Asilie let out a small laugh and stroked my head.

"It seems right that, if only for the sake of setting out on a journey together, I should be diligently helping Eldi achieve his goal from now on."

"...True. I promised, after all."

How long had it been since I properly hugged someone and felt another person's warmth? Actually, I'd had plenty of physical contact lately, but I couldn't even remember a time since I was very young that I'd been embraced this comfortably.

"But what on earth were you doing out there that you even charmed a princess?"

While I was intoxicated by that warmth and my tension had completely eased, Asilie's question suddenly struck.

"Just in case you're thinking something else, let me say! It's not like I just loosened up when I went to the capital or anything like that? I definitely lived hard while thinking about my life after revenge too? I intentionally took on all the butler duties to avoid owing the Ogatorf family as much as possible. It's the truth. I didn't write a single lie in any of my letters to you."

Thanks to that, I really did live so diligently that my average sleep time was less than five hours, so I had nothing to be ashamed of, yet for some reason, I ended up speaking as if making a flimsy excuse.

I didn't know how she felt seeing me like that, but Asilie tilted her head and smiled with an even further relaxed air.

"I know. That's why I didn't stop Eldi."

I had been getting nervous for nothing, like a thief with a guilty conscience, and as I finally let out a sigh of relief, I felt Asilie's hand gently pat my head before pulling me back into a hug, her grip tightening slightly.

"For now, I'll be satisfied with this. Now I suppose I should have a little chat with the cats, shouldn't I?"

"Huh?"

"Don't worry. I'm not planning to speak unkindly."

The moment she said that decisively, the door opened and Esmue and Ragnis entered.

And as if she had known they were coming, Asilie casually addressed them first with a composed tone.

"May we exchange proper greetings now? Princess Esmue."

Meeting Asilie's eyes, Esmue briefly studied my state before nodding and began to approach me with Ragnis.

"Eldmia. Is your body alright?"

"Yeah. The potion's a potion, and while I was sleeping, someone must've done some other treatment, because aside from being drowsy, I'm fine...?"

I tried to naturally use casual speech and adjust my posture, but Asilie's hand didn't let go.

"Big Sis...?"

"If you're alright, shall we let Eldi rest a bit while we just talk amongst ourselves for a moment?"

"Ah... well, even so, since you saved me, I wanted to offer proper gratitude and also hear the situation directly..."

At the sight of her smiling yet emanating an inexplicable pressure, I was nervously rolling my eyes, when suddenly Esmue opened her mouth with an expression that looked as though she was being slightly overwhelmed in the battle of nerves.

"It would be better to share such stories after you've both rested off your fatigue, wouldn't it? Then Eldi? Get some rest. We're going to go have a separate talk."

"Uh, uhh..."

Having instantly overwhelmed the atmosphere, Asilie stood up from her seat and, confronting the Empire's princess herself, began confidently leading the way out of the room.

In that short moment, Esmue, who had been flustered, looking back and forth between me and Asilie, made an expression of deep deliberation before, practically dragged by the hand by Asilie, was led out. And Ragnis, who hadn't been able to say a single word since the moment she entered the room, was no different.

And so, left alone conspicuously in the room, I... simply gave up thinking and lay back down on the bed.

Because that was the only choice I could make. It'll work out somehow... right?