Chapter 2
Chapter 2
I Possessed the Body of a Bodyguard Knight Who Committed Suicide in Front of a Tsundere
“Fuck… Tsundere is a disease! How the hell am I supposed to clear this!”
Aurelia Kingdom Survival.
Starting a dating sim that already looked doomed just from its title was the problem.
I got interested because I heard there was a heroine you absolutely couldn’t conquer, so I jumped in—
but even after playing for 1000 hours, there wasn’t the slightest sign of success.
It’s useless.
No matter how much I raised her affection,
no matter how many achievements I stacked,
it was all meaningless for that damned woman, Roze Volanschefort.
Because—
“Hmph! You like me? Confessing to a noble Count’s daughter like me, how shameless can you be?”
“Don’t misunderstand just because you risked your life fighting for me! As my guard knight, protecting me is only natural!”
“I-I don’t like someone like you at all!”
Roze Volanschefort was a severe tsundere, practically at the level of a personality disorder.
That was the reason she was impossible to conquer.
If she were a normal woman, raising affection should lead to progress.
But Roze, being a tsundere, would never express her feelings even if she liked the protagonist, so there was no way for anything to develop.
Damn tsundere.
Tsundere is a disease.
“How the hell am I supposed to conquer this? No matter how well I do, it doesn’t matter—what am I supposed to do? Fuck, seriously.”
No matter which choice you picked, the ending was the same.
Eventually, a great war with the demon race begins.
More precisely, the demon race invades while the Aurelia Kingdom, where the protagonist lives, is unprepared, and Roze resolves to go to a battlefield where her death is certain.
“As a noble, it’s only natural to devote your life for the country and Her Majesty the Queen. Though a commoner like you wouldn’t understand.”
Here, the player is given two choices.
Send Roze to the battlefield
Go to the battlefield myself
The problem is, both are landmines.
If you choose option 1, Roze dies.
You can’t have a romance with a corpse, so the game ends there.
Then what if you choose option 2?
I die.
The player character dies, so the game ends there.
What the hell am I supposed to do?
“Are they telling me to clear this or not? I mean… this makes no sense at all.”
There is at least a cutscene where the player proposes to Roze before heading to the battlefield.
You spend all the money you’ve saved and present her with a diamond ring,
but the answer you get is—
“Haa?! Like I’d ever marry someone like you! Are you stupid? Did you think I’d like you? Idiot idiot idiot idiot idiot idiot!!! Moron! Loser!”
Fuck.
This is a dating sim?
Are they messing with me?
A tsundere is one thing, but in Roze’s case, it was practically insanity.
Because of that, her reputation on the internet was terrible.
“Is Roze even actually conquerable?”
“She’s the main heroine, so of course she should be”
“But has anyone actually done it? No matter what choice you pick, it’s just death endings”
“Isn’t it a bug?”
“Roze is a trap. Why are you dealing with a mentally ill tsundere? Just go for other characters”
“Except for Roze’s awful personality, the other characters are pretty easy to conquer”
“Queen Elizabeth, Knight Sylvia, Maid Erika, classmates, seniors, academy staff—there are tons of characters, why are you stuck on Roze?”
Among users, Roze was already treated as a trap to be avoided.
If that insane tsundere had been the only main heroine, the game would’ve flopped long ago.
But in Aurelia Kingdom Survival, every major female character is a heroine, so if you wanted, you could build a full harem.
Of course, every time, our Count’s daughter Roze Volanschefort would unleash jealousy—not quite jealousy—and torment you relentlessly.
She doesn’t express affection, yet doesn’t hide her jealousy either—this is why Roze is called toxic.
Because of that, Roze was no longer seen as a character to conquer, but as a landmine to avoid.
If she showed up while you were dating another girl, she was treated like a monster you had to run away from.
Poor Roze…
Even so, she was the main heroine prominently featured on the game’s CD thumbnail.
The protagonist was even set as her guard knight.
So at first, I resisted the online consensus that she should be excluded from targets.
“But still, isn’t Roze pretty cute? The harder she is to conquer, the more rewarding it’ll be when you succeed.”
“You’re a newbie, aren’t you?”
The reply came instantly.
“If you’re new, just shut up. You don’t know anything and you’re talking big. Roze is impossible to conquer, no matter what you do.”
“If she’s impossible, they wouldn’t have made her a heroine. Isn’t it just that you’re bad at the game?”
“No one’s done it. Have you?”
“I’ll try from now on.”
“Try it first before talking.”
Yeah.
I was planning to try.
I even thought I’d come back bragging, “Turns out it works.”
But I failed.
After investing over 1000 hours solely into Roze, I gained the rare experience of watching the protagonist die more than 70 times.
Now I just want to quit.
I logged onto the internet again.
“Roze is seriously insane. Tsundere is a disease.”
“You’re only realizing that now?”
“I spent 1000 hours trying to conquer Roze, but it just doesn’t work. Did the devs set a trap or something? Just to screw with us? I seriously feel like suing them. Are they messing with players? This is ridiculous.”
“Suing lol”
“Don’t overreact”
“You’re getting too immersed…”
“I’m not overreacting, I’m just pissed. I charged into a million demons for Roze and it just ends with me dying? No resurrection event? Are they joking? Fuck, seriously.”
“Isn’t it normal to quit before getting that far?”
“Did someone hold a knife to your throat and force you to go for Roze?”
“Roze is like a MacGuffin. Just go for other girls”
“Then they should’ve advertised it that way from the start. They plaster Roze on the thumbnail so it looks like she’s the main target, and this is what we get? Seriously, tsundere is a disease. Wow…”
I started pouring out all the frustration I had built up over 1000 hours onto the game community.
Roze.
That crazy bitch.
Normally, if someone shows you kindness, you at least express some gratitude.
Saying “thank you” isn’t that hard, is it?
But with Roze, no matter how well you treated her, it was useless.
“Hmph! If you thought I’d be grateful for something like this, you’re mistaken!”
That was her idea of gratitude.
Tsundere is a disease.
I’ll say it again—tsundere is a disease.
A chronic one.
“If I knew it’d be like this, I should’ve switched to another heroine long ago. There’s the queen, the maid, the teacher, even a younger sister—damn, there are so many heroines.”
Once I gave up on Roze, I started noticing other women I hadn’t paid attention to before.
Each one was attractive and beautiful.
Not a single one of them was a mentally ill tsundere like Roze.
Only then did I understand how other players felt.
If you just pretend Roze doesn’t exist, this game becomes a pretty enjoyable dating sim.
“I was the idiot…”
I should’ve done this earlier.
Why did I get so obsessed with trying to conquer a mentally unstable tsundere?
Once I let go of my attachment to Roze, the world felt brighter.
With other female characters, the more you treated them well, the more their affection increased, and the higher their affection, the closer you became.
That’s what’s normal.
A relationship that doesn’t progress no matter how well you treat someone—like with Roze—that’s what’s strange.
“Thinking about it now just makes me angrier.”
Why would the developers put an unconquerable woman as the main focus just to bait me?
It feels nothing but malicious.
As a player, as a paying customer, I couldn’t let it go without saying something.
And so, I made a choice I would regret thousands of times later.
I sent an email to the developer.
“Don’t bait people, you crazy bitch. Why the hell would you slap a mentally ill girl on the thumbnail like that? Anyone would think she’s the main heroine. But then she’s an unconquerable MacGuffin? Are you just begging to get cursed at? No matter what choice you make, either the protagonist dies or the heroine dies—what the hell are we supposed to do? At least make it clearable, you piece of shit. Don’t mess with consumers like this again.”
It was full of insults, but I didn’t care.
I had hidden my identity.
But strangely, just 30 seconds after sending it, I got a reply.
How did they even find my email?
“So either the protagonist dies or the heroine dies? Then you’ve reached the great demon invasion episode? To get there, you’d have to spend over 1000 hours focusing only on Roze, without even looking at other heroines.”
Yeah, you bastard.
I was exactly that sucker.
That’s why I’m so pissed.
“But wait, I made it so the sender couldn’t be identified—how did they reply?”
At that moment, another email arrived.
“If it’s you… then perhaps…”
The next instant, light burst out from the monitor, and a severe dizziness overwhelmed me.
I couldn’t hold onto consciousness.
“What is this…?”
Before I could even grasp the situation, I passed out.
And then I woke up to a stinging pain across my back.
“Hey, Solomon! Where are you slacking off! Get back to work!”
“Ow!”
Some bastard who looked like a ruthless slave master was glaring at me with a whip in his hand.
“Huh…? This guy looks exactly like Peter from the game.”
“How dare you call my name so casually!”
“Ow!!”
Peter.
The master of Solomon, the game’s protagonist who starts as a slave.
Startled, I looked down at my body.
A perfectly muscular physique like a bodybuilder.
But dressed in nothing but ragged scraps—a slave.
“Ha… fuck… no… wait… fuck, don’t tell me… I got possessed?”
My life…
is screwed.