Love Counseling
“Uhhh….”
Yi Siyun sat there blankly with her mouth hanging open, just as she had every morning since arriving at school. Carmen, worried by the state of her, came over.
“Siyun. Are you oka—”
“Huh? Yeah! I-I’m fine! I’m just gonna run to the bathroom real quick!”
The moment Carmen got close, Siyun convulsed as if having a seizure, shot to her feet, and bolted out of the classroom.
“…….”
The hand Carmen had stretched out to check Siyun’s temperature was left hanging awkwardly in empty air.
A little hurt, Carmen pouted and muttered under her breath.
“Hmph. Doesn’t even notice I’m worried about her….”
The sulking didn’t really suit a girl of her height, but somehow Carmen always turned childish whenever it involved her childhood friend.
Not that she needed another reason — Siyun had been acting strange lately, and Carmen was already fretting over it.
Is something wrong? Is she sick? What if she’s started to hate me?
Every kind of worry swirled through her head and tormented her.
“Standing here fretting isn’t going to fix anything.”
Carmen clenched her fist where she stood, then carefully set off after Siyun.
The day she and Carmen had gone to the amusement park together.
That night — for reasons she still didn’t understand — after spending so long nestled in Carmen’s arms…
She had dreamed of kissing Carmen.
“Ack! Aaaagh! Aack!”
Remembering the dream all over again, Siyun tore at her hair as she ran.
Because of that stupid dream, she couldn’t even look Carmen in the face properly first thing in the morning!
On one hand she felt guilty for having such a weird dream about the girl she’d been with since childhood. On the other, the second their eyes met, the sensation of their lips touching in the dream came back so vividly that—
“Haa… haa…….”
Every time it happened, her heart pounded and her face burned.
Her chest grew warm, her whole body heated up, and her breath came shorter and shorter.
Worse still was the fact that she hadn’t hated the feeling from the dream.
No — let’s be honest. She had liked it. She had liked it so much it drove her crazy.
Liked it enough to wish the dream had lasted longer. Liked it enough to want to dream it again.
…Liked it enough to want it in real life, too.
“She’d hate it for sure.”
If Carmen ever found out she’d had a dream like that, how would she react?
What face would she make? What would she say?
Would she laugh it off as a joke? Or maybe she’d hate it. No — she’d hate it for sure.
If it were Carmen, she would smile without ever showing she disliked it.
And starting the next day, she’d treat Siyun as if nothing had happened at all.
Because Carmen was always especially soft when it came to Siyun.
Every time that thought crossed her mind, her chest clenched so hard it felt like it would crush her. It choked the air right out of her throat.
But the desire to kiss her was just as real.
It didn’t even have to be a kiss.
Holding hands would be nice. Linking arms, hugging her close. Falling asleep like that together.
All of it would be wonderful.
Aside from kissing, those were things the two of them already did all the time — but now that she saw Carmen differently, even the same actions would make her feel something else entirely.
And if that happened, the guilt would be incomparable to what she felt now.
Fine. Admit it. I like Carmen.
By the time Siyun had run far enough that the path felt familiar, she pressed both hands over her chest and bent slightly at the waist, trying to catch her breath.
But her heart only hammered harder — thump-thump, thump-thump.
It was a truth she had been looking away from.
She had only become aware of it recently in the first place.
Come to think of it, she had never liked anyone before.
Plenty of boys had confessed to her, saying they liked her, but she had never once felt romantic attraction toward the opposite sex.
That had been true of the same sex as well — except for Carmen.
To Siyun, who had lost her parents as a child, Carmen was her only family and her only friend.
There had never been a single moment in Siyun’s life without Carmen in it.
At school, at home, when they played, when they slept.
Siyun’s entire life had always been filled with Carmen.
Ever since she had consciously realized she liked Carmen, she had been fighting impulse after impulse.
I want to hold her hand. I want to hug her from behind and rest my chin on her shoulder.
There had been times she did those things out of habit, then startled herself and flailed in panic.
Lying on the Academy rooftop with her head in Carmen’s lap, looking up at the sky, would be nice — and the reverse wouldn’t be bad either.
Bathing together would be fun. Sleeping together would be happiness itself.
I want to fall asleep holding her. I want to kiss her.
A light peck would be fine. A kiss so deep their tongues tangled until she couldn’t breathe would be fine too.
I want to feel her skin. I want to feel her body heat.
“Ugh….”
What was she supposed to do with this heart she couldn’t control?
Her chest started to hurt as if it were being stabbed over and over by something sharp.
Without realizing it, she clutched at her chest and sank down right where she stood.
And into the eyes of Siyun — gasping, hands still pressed to her heart — someone came into view.
A woman waving goodbye to a black-haired girl and a platinum-haired girl.
About the same height as Siyun herself. Hair white as snow. Eyes a very pale red.
The woman Carmen had warned her about again and again. The woman who maintained thick friendships with the people the Academy students feared most.
Elysia.
But in that moment, the thoughts rising in Siyun’s head were completely different from any of those.
If it were her… maybe she would listen to my troubles?
They hadn’t spoken many times, but Elysia had never once said anything rude to her.
If anything, she seemed to hold a strong fondness for Siyun.
And the distance between her and her friends didn’t look ordinary either….
If it were her, maybe she really would hear me out.
By the time that thought finished forming—
“Elysia, sunbae!”
—she was already calling her name.
Koko-chi was the best again today!
After polishing off lunch in record time, I had suggested to Tania and Adele that we go get Koko-chi.
Both of them asked if I wasn’t full after just eating, but….
Obviously the rice stomach and the Koko-chi stomach are two different things!
And when we actually got to the skewer shop, both of them bought one each and ate it.
See? They both love Koko-chi for sure.
Unfortunately, the bell signaling the start of class had just rung, so I waved goodbye to Adele and Tania.
I wish I were in the same class as them….
It’s so unfair that only Tania and Adele get to be classmates!
I’m worried the two of them will get too close and leave me out.
Class is about to start, so I should head back to the classroom too….
“Elysia, sunbae!”
In that instant, a familiar voice called me to a stop.
A few strands of her short-cut brown hair were stuck to her pale cheeks with sweat, making her look even more charming.
She must have run from quite a distance — her cheeks were flushed red, and her rough breathing showed no sign of calming down.
Did she miss me that much?
Her faintly trembling golden eyes were fixed straight on me.
“Yeah, Siyun. What’s up?”
When I answered with a small smile, Siyun — still not fully caught her breath — strode right up to me.
Ah, too close! Close enough that I could feel her panting breath.
Was she about to kiss me? That felt like skipping way too many steps….
“U-um. There’s something I’d like to get advice about!”
She made a faintly embarrassed face as she said it.
What? What is it? What on earth could make Siyun wear an expression like a girl who’d fallen in love?
She’s too cute! Will you call me unnie?
“Really? What’s going on?”
I calmed my wildly pounding heart and put on the most natural expression I could manage.
“W-well… it’s about Carmen….”
Carmen! So it was Carmen! Had something finally progressed between them?
“Y-you know who Carmen is, right? The one who’s always with me… really tall….”
“Yeah! I know, I know.”
I gathered both of her hands in mine and lifted them to chest height.
Whether from running all the way here or not, her hands were extremely warm.
“Will you tell me what happened? I really want to hear it….”
I spoke as calmly as I could… doing my absolute best not to let my personal interest show.
I didn’t want her to notice I was just as excited as she was!
Fortunately it seemed to work — Siyun’s gaze shifted into the look of someone regarding a respected senior. Will you call me unnie?
“Then… shall we go talk over on that bench? This doesn’t seem like a conversation for the middle of the path….”
“Y-yes….”
Siyun gave a small nod at my words.
I knew just the perfect spot.
A bench in a quiet place with almost no foot traffic, where people came when they wanted to rest in peace — always kept spotless because the cleaning lady was so diligent.
Still holding Siyun’s hand, I headed for that bench. She followed silently behind me in small, trailing steps. Will you call me unnie?
Class had already started, but… so what? We’d just skip it!
As if some class could possibly be more important than our Siyun’s love life! Right?
Cecilia would definitely scold me for it… but that was a problem for future me.