The Heart of Man (1)
Ellie ended up giving me an earful about it in the end. Women are sensitive about their age, she said, so I should call them "older sister" or "big sis" whenever possible. Of course, Lize said she didn't mind at all. She'd long since set aside her life as a woman, or something like that. The reason she'd frozen up so stiffly just moments ago was because it had been ages since anyone called her "grandma."
"That doesn't seem like something you'd brush off so easily, though?"
"It's just that it's been so long since I've heard that title. Not once since I went through my return-to-youth phase."
"You're not mad, right?"
"I can confidently say no. After all, it is a fact that I'm old."
Judging purely by age, Lize was probably older than Lord. By more than ten years, even. Lord looked his age on the surface, but he was surprisingly young. All that wandering the world and enduring hardships, plus the Western trait of aging faster—it all added up. And then there was that long mustache making him look even older. Not that he cared one bit.
"Still, you might want to watch your mouth from now on. Sometimes words can be more dangerous than violence."
"Speaking of which, doesn't Sivar talk pretty well these days?"
Kara shot me a curious glance as she voiced her doubt. Everyone else turned their eyes to me too.
As she said, I could speak decently now. But I was still lacking in a lot of ways.
"Talk lot. Like this."
That was about the extent of it. I'd barely spoken before, and even now I struggled with full words. It felt a bit like learning English conversation—grammar flipping back and forth. Plus, with so many words I didn't know, I often mixed things up. I'd keep studying steadily, though.
"You've really improved a ton. Got anything you want to say right now?"
"Want candy."
"That's what he's saying?"
"No."
Lord refused in a stern voice. Praise aside, candy was off-limits, apparently. After all the trouble I'd caused so far, it was unavoidable. All I could do was grumble.
"Why no?"
"Use proper speech."
"......Why no?"
"Put your hand on your chest and think about it."
I did as he said. Hand on my chest, deep in thought. Normally, that was a metaphor for "does your conscience hurt?" But they probably figured I wouldn't get it.
After pondering for a good while, I quietly lowered my hand and declared confidently.
"Thought. Give candy, please."
"Haa... I must've phrased that wrong."
As Lord sighed in frustration, the others chuckled softly. He seemed to give up in the end and handed over the candy. It had been ages since I'd tasted that scorched rice flavor. Kara used to sneak me apple or grape ones.
Asking Lord for candy was probably a one-time thing anyway. I'd be getting my own dorm room soon.
"Lize. A word in advance: don't spoil Sivar too much. It'll ruin his habits."
"No need to worry. Everything might start tasting as sweet as candy from now on."
"......?"
What the hell did that mean? It sounded seriously ominous. And I wasn't the only one—everyone else looked puzzled too.
Food rarely tasted sweet unless you'd been through physical or mental hell.
"Planning to train Sivar while living together?"
Luna was the first to voice the question. She trained every weekend for her che, and after suffering through just one session, she probably wondered if I'd be going through something similar.
"Yes. If you've focused on che, Brother Sivar will focus on heart. I'll pass on what I learned from the East, combined with my own experience."
"Looks like just controlling Rampage isn't enough."
"Exactly. It's like that Eastern legend where a bear becomes human by eating nothing but mugwort and garlic."
No way she meant I had to eat only mugwort and garlic. God, I hoped not.
She's probably just gonna teach me patience or something.
The legend Lize mentioned emphasized endurance too. The difference between man and beast was patience, they said. Maybe she'd judged me lacking because I whined for candy. Honestly, I could endure anything else, but delicious food? No chance. A side effect of entering civilization.
"The method itself is simple. Brother Sivar?"
"?"
"Please stand up and come over here for a moment."
What was this about? Shrugging off the doubt, I stood as she asked and walked to where she pointed, standing silently.
"Now, just stand still and do nothing for five minutes."
"......?"
That was it? I made a face like, Really? Just that? The others looked equally skeptical, one by one piping up.
"Um... Saintess. Even Sivar isn't that scatterbrained. He can manage that much."
"You're treating him like a total idiot..."
Ellie and Kara, respectively. They were right—standing still was no big deal. I'd mastered stealth for successful hunts. Killing my presence and doing nothing was like lying down for rice cakes.
But Lize's approach was different. She smiled faintly and slowly rose from her seat.
Boom!
The moment she stood, she shifted into Kwonseong mode. Muscles carved like stone, especially those massive pecs. The atmosphere shifted the instant she went full Kwonseong. I nearly stumbled back but barely held it together.
"You're all right. Brother Sivar survived the wilds, so his endurance is exceptional. But heart isn't just about patience. Patience is only part of it."
Thud. Thud. Thud.
She approached me as she spoke. I fought to suppress my twitching body. Ever felt an unbreakable powerhouse closing in? Like a massive wall slowly bearing down to crush you.
"What Brother Sivar needs is a human mindset. The most crucial part of building character."
"......"
"We'll be living together, but I won't block your path. I'll grant whatever you desire."
Good news, at least. I'd worried Lize might derail my plans. Someone like her could've slapped a collar on me—or worse, sentenced me to hanging.
Not hanging, but ankle irons and life imprisonment might as well be.
"But I'll help you make human judgments. Not always enduring or raging—sometimes one, sometimes the other. That's the heart I'll teach you."
Was she saying do whatever I want, or think and judge first? Ambiguous, just like the chaos-worshipping Lize. Was this even "training"? Hell if I knew what she really wanted. Her mind was impossible to read.
"Brother Sivar. What do you want to do right now?"
"......Sit."
"Understood. Then sit back down."
Was that really it? I returned to my seat as told. Once there, I instinctively leaned into Ellie. My pounding heart calmed.
"Remember this, Brother Sivar."
Lize still in Kwonseong mode, fixed her gaze on me.
"The true difference between man and beast... is the heart."
Her words echoed strangely deep in my chest.
A bit of time passed after my cohabitation with Lize was settled. We'd get the uniform tailored slowly; for now, it was time to check out the dorm where Lize and I would live together.
"The size is about the same as a single dorm."
"Singles are bigger, yeah."
I'd seen them in Soul World, but the dorms were bigger than expected. Even as a four-person room, it was spacious. There was a kitchen for cooking, a shower room, and even basic exercise equipment. It screamed special care for nobles.
I could live well here, no problem.
"What? You're staying here from now on?"
We were touring the dorm when Porori showed up. He'd probably followed the scent. He always trailed Ellie anyway, so no surprise.
"Yeah. Stay here. From now."
"Oh? Speech improved? Still behind me, though."
"Hit?"
"Try it, punk."
The second I threatened, Porori bolted to Ellie. That smugness never changed. But he protected her, so I let it slide. Truce, after all.
"Two beds, nothing picky. Cooking's easy enough."
"Sivar okay?"
"Yeah."
No issues. Except living with Lize.
Without her, it'd be freer. Oh well.
"We'll head out then. See you tomorrow."
"Get along with the saintess."
Kara and Ellie, respectively. They said their piece and left the dorm.
One person remained: Luna. She stayed last, saying she had business with the saintess.
"Test this weekend too?"
"Yes. We can do it here if you like."
"Really? Sivar okay?"
"Yeah."
No big deal. Dorm was plenty big. Luna grinned ear-to-ear at my okay. Looked kinda dumb.
She's an idiot sometimes.
Oblivious to my thought, Luna beamed.
Wonder what was on her mind. Really curious.
"See you tomorrow! Weekend with saintess!"
"Take care."
Even friendly Luna left, leaving just me and Lize in the dorm. Man and woman alone in one room. Even for Lize, the mood turned awkward.
"I'll shower first."
"......Yeah."
Even saying that made it weirder. Lize headed straight to the shower after.
Here's the ridiculous part: the shower was semi-transparent glass. Her silhouette was fully visible from behind.
Why the hell design it like that?
Shhh—
Water ran, and Lize's shadow appeared starkly. Long hair first? She tilted her head back. Her size made certain parts' shadows especially prominent.
Whoa... is that a human body...?
Rivaling Ellie's scale. Watching the shadow, I was newly impressed.
Oddly, no lust stirred. I quietly admired the perfect physique.
Boom!
Suddenly, a small explosion, and the shadow changed. Smooth lines turned rugged in an instant. Lize struck her signature muscle pose.
Hm. Looks like my holy power's grown even more.
She muttered softly, but I heard it all. Probably checking herself in the mirror now.
Whoa... is that a human body...?
I quietly admired the perfect physique—for entirely different reasons.