A Sweet Spring Afternoon
She loved spring. “Whoa, it’s so bright.” The place Rain had brought her to was the rooftop of an empty temple annex. Being alone together made Sien incredibly happy, but…
“…Is it really okay for us to be here?”
“Of course it is. It’s not like this is a restricted area.”
“But there’s no one around…”
“It’s finally lunch break and I don’t want to get bothered. That’s why I deliberately came somewhere without people.”
Just as Rain said, it was currently lunch hour. Sien usually found the cafeteria uncomfortable and had planned to grab something simple back at the dormitory, but because Rain had dragged her here, she didn’t have any food in her hands to satisfy her empty stomach.
…I’m a little hungry.
Sien was well-acquainted with the misery and hardship that came with starvation. She could skip a meal or even go several days without eating and still be fine, but the trauma of going hungry made her want to do something about it.
What should she do? Sien was deeply pondering the choice between her hunger and the time she got to spend with the person she liked, when…
“I really do prefer quiet places~.”
The moment she saw Rain’s smiling eyes bathed in the warm sunlight, her worries suddenly felt like a luxury. She stepped further into the rooftop.
“Do you like bread?”
“…I’m not sure.”
It wasn’t a lie. Her goal had always been simply to stave off hunger, so only now that she ate three proper meals a day had she started thinking it would be nice if food tasted good too. Flavor had never been that important to Sien.
“I really like this bread. Try some.”
“I’m sorry. I should have brought something to eat too.”
“It’s fine since I dragged you here in a hurry. And honestly, I’d rather hear ‘thank you’ than ‘I’m sorry’…”
Rain held out his éclair to her. The soft texture against her palm and the kind smile filling her vision made her chest tighten with emotion.
“Thank you for sharing your food with me. I think saying it like that would make you really happy.”
Along with the gut feeling that once she learned this kind of emotion, she would never be able to go back to the way things were before. She could never return.
“You’re hungry, right? Take it.”
Sien wanted to listen to anything Rain said, but she believed it was more worthwhile for him to eat his entire share rather than settle her own hunger. She was about to refuse, but…
“I’m not hungry at a———”
———Gurgle.
Ah, of all times. The sound echoed far too loudly. Sien’s face flushed bright red.
“I’m sorry for lying…!!”
“I’ll let it slide. That was incredibly cute just now.”
“Huh…?!”
Sien knew better than anyone that she had less facial expression than anyone from the North and that she was awkward at showing emotion. The Creepy Doll of Allensia. She knew people called her that and avoided facing her, yet he said she was cute.
‘Cute’ is a word that only suits someone like you…
She knew it wasn’t a word that fit her, but hearing it from the person she loved was incredibly sweet. That aside…
Still, Rain should eat all the bread…
Sien had no intention of backing down.
“This bakery’s éclair really has the perfect mocha flavor, I’m telling you.”
“……”
“Look at this glossy, shiny glaze. I can’t resist the temptation, so the moment I take a bite, this rich mocha chocolate bursts out from inside. …Wait, what? The thing that just went into my mouth completely melted?”
If Rain hadn’t shown her how deliciously he was eating it.
Haam—. Sien opened her mouth slightly and took a bite. She wasn’t good with words, so she couldn’t describe it like Rain, but…
“It’s good, right?”
“…Yes!”
The éclair was incredibly delicious. It was just a common bread sold on the streets, nothing gourmet, but Sien now clearly understood what it meant for something to taste good.
“I’m glad you like it.”
And that eating with the person you liked made you feel happy too.
…It disappeared so quickly.
Sien gazed thoughtfully at the sugar dusting her fingers. Now that she had discovered the sensation of deliciousness, the regret of wanting more naturally followed. She still had lingering attachment, but it was fine. As expected, it hadn’t completely satisfied her hunger, but at least it wasn’t enough to cause another embarrassing situation like before.
“Thank you for sharing the éclair with me…”
“See? It was really good, wasn’t it?”
“…Yes.”
“I’ll buy you some next time too.”
“Really…?”
“Really. I’ll go reserve some right after today.”
A promise for next time. It was nothing special, but the fact that there would be another day she could meet Rain made her incredibly happy.
“…Thank you!”
“I’m glad you know that. Will you keep expressing yourself this well from now on?”
Rain smiled as if she were adorable, then pulled a bottle of grape juice from his subspace.
“Let’s take a nap now. We have the first round of the grade placement matches at two o’clock. We’ve got time, so let’s just sleep.”
“B-but we have to go back to the classroom at one…”
“Aww~, do we really have to? The professors are all busy with the grade matches anyway, so they won’t come to class. And even if we go… it’ll be boring.”
His brow furrowed slightly and he swallowed his words as if he’d slipped up. Rain was awkwardly trying to gloss it over, but Sien could tell exactly why he was dodging the subject.
He was worried she would get bullied again if they went back.
The bullying only happened because of her older sisters and brother, and the only reason she put up with such ridiculous harassment was because she wanted to stay connected to him even a little longer.
…What should I do?
She didn’t want to do anything Rain disliked. Just as Sien was about to sink into thought about how she could stay connected to him in a way he would like…
“You drink some too.”
He was even trying to share the grape juice after the bread. Her throat was a bit dry from only eating bread, but Sien waved her hands in refusal.
“…I-I’m fine.”
“If you don’t drink it, I’ll finish it all.”
“I-it’s okay if you drink it all. …It’s not mine anyway.”
“…If you say it like that, I might actually drink everything.”
Rain glanced sideways at Sien, took one gulp, then looked at her with eyes that seemed to ask, ‘Are you really not going to drink any?’ before boldly tilting the bottle again—only to stop.
He noticed Sien staring at him without blinking as he drank and thought she was hiding the fact that she actually wanted some, but…
It feels strange———.
Every time he swallowed, his small Adam’s apple bobbed gently. Because his second growth had been slower than his peers, it was only slightly more pronounced than a woman’s, but the feminine instinct to notice the masculine side of the person she loved kept her eyes glued to it.
“……Ah.”
When their eyes met, Sien looked away, attributing it to some inexplicable embarrassment. She was clearly looking at him and feeling her heart race, but this particular flutter felt ticklish, like her whole body was twisting.
With that strange feeling, she clenched her fists tightly and absentmindedly rumpled the hem of her skirt. Ever so slightly, Sien’s cheeks flushed red.
“This is life.”
With that casual remark, Rain lay down comfortably, leaving some grape juice behind. The expression on his face as he fully savored this moment looked more relaxed than anything Sien had ever seen from him. He occasionally let out a yawn, proving that his suggestion to nap wasn’t a lie.
“…You can sleep if you want.”
“Hm?”
“You’re sleepy, aren’t you? You don’t have to force yourself to stay awake because of me…”
Sien glanced at him cautiously. She was incredibly grateful for his consideration in worrying about her when he wasn’t sleepy at all, but she was the type who wanted to give him anything he desired and let him do anything he wanted.
And above all…
I want to see him sleeping.
What kind of face would Rain make when he slept? What kind of sleep-talking might he do? It was a rather shady desire, but because she loved him, the urge to see it at least once filled her heart on instinct.
“Ah, no. On a nice day like this, talking with you is better than…”
“You can sleep. I’m sleepy too, so I’ll lie down and sleep as well…”
“……”
“See? I’m yawning too…? Haaam.”
She knew it was a terrible lie, yet she kept up the awkward act. Still, she thought her performance wasn’t half bad, and…
“Yeah, you do look really sleepy, Sien.”
Rain played along even though he knew, so their childish battle of nerves ended in Sien’s victory.
“…Then, shall we sleep?”
Rain’s heavy eyelids slowly closed. Clouds drifted lazily across the sky following the wind, and the occasional murmur of voices from below created just the right amount of peaceful background noise.
Sien gazed at the cozy scenery spread out beyond the rooftop, then quietly watched Rain’s face, which wore a completely relaxed and unworried expression.
…It was peaceful.
In this leisurely atmosphere she had never experienced before, a smile formed on Sien’s lips as well.
“…About what I said earlier. I know it was too one-sided. I know it could burden you.”
“……”
“If you don’t want it, you don’t have to accept it. If you hate it, you can tell me you hate it. I don’t want to do anything you dislike.”
“……”
“Still… my wish for you to be happy is sincere. That’s why I hope you’ll accept my oath.”
“……”
“Take my hand. Then I’ll protect that oath no matter what…”
“……”
“……”
“…Are you asleep?”
“……”
At some point Rain’s low voice had faded away. Sien asked softly, but there was no reply.
Swish—.
Worried that the clouds might disappear and wake the soundly sleeping Rain, Sien cautiously closed the distance, but…
“…I can hear him breathing.”
Once she got closer, she was near enough to hear his breathing. Sien had pressed herself right up against him.
As if possessed, Sien stared intently at Rain.
His smooth, white skin was flawless, without a single visible pore. His beautiful features and soft hair that made it hard to believe he was a boy. His body that was slightly more delicate than hers.
…I want him.
With that instinctive murmur, her gaze shifted to the grape juice Rain had left behind. There was no hesitation in the way Sien grabbed the bottle. The thought that she could connect with him even indirectly made her breathing grow rough.
Without any reluctance, she drank the grape juice.
The unique, clinging sensation of fruit juice filled her mouth, and the sweetness of the grapes stimulated her taste buds, but…
The strange feeling of having put her lips where his had been.
———Ah, so this is what it means to be connected.
———Your lips are this sweet.
The chilling yet stimulating thrill that made her body tremble caused Sien’s face to burn redder than it ever had before.
“……Rain.”
She murmured his name with desperate tenderness.
Did you know? Until I met you, it was truly difficult. I tried living with the resolve to die, and when I couldn’t endure it, I even tried to die. In the end, I couldn’t because of my father’s orders…
But now, I’m so grateful to myself for enduring that pain and suffering. No. I’m grateful that you came to save the wretched me who believed you didn’t exist.
Did you know? Right now, I am happier than anyone else. Because I’m seeing everything I saw in fairy tales together with you.
But now that I’ve experienced it, I understand. It doesn’t really matter if the season is spring or winter, as long as I have you. As long as I have you—who are more wonderful than the prince I’ve always dreamed of—I can be filled without a single gap.
It’s not a lie. That’s how much I want you, need only you.
I love you. So much that I wouldn’t regret giving you everything I have.
So please… please love me too. Just like you have until now, and forever after. For my entire life. For eternity.
“Cute.”
Rain’s somewhat sloppy sleeping face. Sien smiled and gently brushed his bangs away from his ticklish forehead.
“I love you. Madly.”
She loved spring.