I'm the Real Dopamine Addict

What the hell did I just hear?

Who called himself Dopamine Addict?

"…Who did you say you were?"

When I shot the question back, SafetyNo8 — the self-proclaimed Dopamine Addict — let out a soft chuckle.

"Looks like you know of me. Well, I was fairly famous on the community boards. You came all the way here after reading my guide, didn't you?"

What… what was with that smug tone…

Was he seriously trying to imitate me right now?

And he wasn't finished.

"I understand that you got possessed out of nowhere and suddenly remembered my guide. But this is still my strategy. I'd appreciate it if you left now. I already have the dog tags, after all."

This little shit… please tell me there aren't more of him in the other zones.

I was impersonating another player myself, sure. But not only was he stealing my identity — he was running some bizarre roleplay and acting like my own guide belonged to him. That crossed a line.

I had never planned to blame other players for following my walkthrough. If you already knew the answer, why wouldn't you use it? Copying my strategy wasn't their fault.

My original plan had been to gently shut down this fake bastard's act and then ship him ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠off to enlist, just like ShutInYeobo. But the impersonator didn't stop there. He kept talking, as if he were doing me a favor.

"You've got the guts to remember and execute my guide, so you clearly know a fair bit about the Safe Zones. How about it? Want to work under me, like this friend here?"

So that was his angle. If another player showed up looking for the Commander after him, he planned to recruit them.

Which meant the guy next to him — TaejeongTaeseBeyonce — had probably come for the illegitimate-son route and ended up partnering with the fake instead.

I stared at the impersonator for a moment, then answered.

"Call the Commander."

"Hmm… You don't look stupid enough to cling to a lost cause. Do you have something else in mind?"

"Like you said, I don't have the dog tags. The Commander is going to find out soon enough that I came here and met you. What are you going to say when he asks why you just sent me away?"

"Well…"

"Call the Commander. Then I'll testify about you to him."

"You'll testify?"

"The more people who swear your name is 'Heydam Goodman,' the better for you, right?"

At that, he blinked slowly twice.

"May I take that to mean you're accepting my offer?"

"I'm not joining under you."

He gave a small smile, placed his right hand over his chest, and spoke with practiced smoothness.

"Very well. I'll call 'Father' for you."

…This guy had only been possessed for a single day and he was already this deep into the role?

"Taejeong, I'm going to fetch Father. Keep our guest company for a bit."

"Yes, hyung-nim!!"

While I stood there wearing a thoroughly disgusted look, the impersonator left me with TaejeongTaeseBeyonce and walked out of the room.

I looked the guy up and down, then asked,

"You came for the bastard route too and got snagged by that guy?"

"Ah, no. I woke up in the same place as Dopamine Addict hyung-nim from the start."

He woke up next to the fake?

When I woke up, ShutInYeobo was right beside me too…

Maybe the starting points were paired. Two people to a spawn.

So SafetyNo8 had started impersonating me the second he got possessed here?

Hmm… In a world flooded with possessed players because of the address I spread, I wouldn't have dared to claim my own name. This guy clearly wasn't that bright.

"Why follow him instead of enlisting?"

"I didn't really want to do military service again…"

Oh-ho. A veteran, then.

He was using formal speech with me and had fallen for the fake's act, so I'd assumed he was another young shut-in like ShutInYeobo. Good to know otherwise.

He had some size to him — properly trained, he'd make a solid tank. And he looked obedient enough. I could ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠see why SafetyNo8 was keeping him around.

"You're not mad at Dopamine Addict?"

"What?! W-why would I resent hyung-nim… I'm his fan!"

"I heard people got possessed because of the address he posted."

"Ah, that. Yeah, I know."

TaejeongTaeseBeyonce smiled with genuine fondness.

"Even getting possessed like this is all thanks to Dopamine Addict hyung-nim."

"Thanks… to him?"

"Just being able to clear the bastard route together with the hyung-nim I idolize is enough to make my heart race."

"…"

So this one was also completely unhinged…

A foul-mouthed guy, an impersonator, and a social misfit who couldn't tell game from reality. Why were all my guide subscribers like this?

…No. Maybe it was simply because everyone ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠who played Safety Zone was a basement-dwelling shut-in to begin with.

"So you're just following Dopamine Addict around because you're a fan?"

TaejeongTaeseBeyonce looked straight at me and answered in a serious tone.

"Dopamine Addict hyung-nim is the all-zone clear player. Once you're possessed into this world, there's no reason not to follow him."

Hmm… So he'd made a cold calculation after all.

"If you want to survive the apocalypse, you'd better do exactly what Dopamine Addict hyung-nim says too. There's no player better than him, and if you get in the way of his strategy, he'll discard even another player without a second thought. You've seen his guides, right? You know how ruthless he is."

What… what kind of image did I have?

Was that why this fake was talking in that insufferable tone?

Goddamn it…

"If helping 'Dopamine Addict' succeed at his strategy is enough to make you my ally, then are you on my side?"

TaejeongTaese blinked in confusion but answered on instinct.

"Huh? W-well, of course…?"

"Good. I'll help."

"Oh—thank you!"

The second this guy found out I was the real Dopamine Addict, he'd side with me.

The problem was what to do with SafetyNo8… Letting him keep walking around as Dopamine Addict and drawing aggro in my place didn't sound entirely bad.

These two had landed in Cola, so even if they'd been possessed because of me, they could still survive. But the ones who dropped into other zones? What if the people who landed in Knife came out alive?

I really didn't want to get stabbed for no reason…

"Someone who knows you has arrived?"

A low, gravelly voice rumbled from outside the room, and then a face I had seen to the point of exhaustion while playing the game appeared before me.

Jet-black hair slicked back without a single stray strand, a black eyepatch stamped with the crossed cola-bottle emblem, and a white coat draped over his shoulders, heavy with medals and insignia.

The Commander of the Cola Area, Hayden Goodman, fixed his remaining black eye on me with a piercing stare.

At the same time, a message appeared.

That message I had expected.

The one that followed, I had not.

Hmm?

What exactly changed when it doubled?

"…Your Excellency?"

The impersonator's voice calling the Commander pulled my eyes off the messages. When I looked up at him, Hayden was staring at me as if he had seen a ghost.

But the earlier sharpness was gone from that gaze.

It was the look of a man who had just run into a long-lost lover…

"…You look just like her."

Ah.

So the affinity boost had gone past simple favorability — I actually looked like Luna Moon to him now?

That worked perfectly for me.

I didn't waste the chance. I casually lifted the hand wearing the ring toward the Commander.

"Mother told me to show you this, Your Excellency."

I saw the impersonator visibly panic, but he clearly had no idea what I was holding up and didn't dare step in.

The Commander lowered his posture, then dropped to one knee on the floor. Only then did the fake realize something had gone terribly wrong; the color drained from his face.

Hayden stared at the loose ring on my finger for a long time before turning a freezing look on the impersonator.

"Explain."

"W-what do you mean…"

"You claimed to be my son, Heydam Goodman. Yet this ring is on another boy's hand. You brought me a pair of dog tags and called them proof."

"What? The dog tags are the proof— Ah, no, that ring is mine! I didn't even know that kid had stolen it!"

SafetyNo8 pointed a frantic finger at me and shouted.

"Th-that's right, I told that boy about Mother too! And now he's trying to deceive Your Excellency—"

"Silence!"

The Commander barked the word and ripped the dog tags from around the fake's neck.

The chain snapped with a dull click. SafetyNo8 groped at the empty spot in pure panic.

"I-I'm Heydam…"

"You would do well to shut your mouth."

The sheer force in Hayden's voice made the impersonator clamp his jaw shut mid-excuse.

At least he wasn't completely dense.

"I gave this ring to Luna Moon as a token before we were married. If you had truly lost it, you would have said so the moment you came to me yesterday. More importantly, when this boy produced the ring just now, your face said you had no idea what it was. I don't know what possessed you to come to me carrying her dog tags… but if you continue to deceive me, I will not spare you simply because you are a child. Do you understand?"

"Th-that's…"

SafetyNo8, thoroughly rattled, began babbling in Korean.

"Th-the guide definitely said dog tags…! Wait, did it not say dog tags? But the only personal item of Luna Moon's in that grave was the dog tags…!"

He muttered like a madman, then snapped his head toward me as something clicked.

"You… who are you?"

"Who do you think?"

The moment SafetyNo8's eyes went wide, another system message appeared.

So the system even announced failed strategies.

SafetyNo8 couldn't see the floating message — he still hadn't unlocked his system.

I was about to suggest he stop this nonsense and just enlist when the next line hit.

"What?"

In the next instant, SafetyNo8, standing right in front of me, toppled forward as if someone had flipped his switch off.

"…Huh?"

The room fell deathly silent.

No… it can't be…

As if confirming my sinking dread, more messages followed.

There was only one situation in the Safe Zones where a player's belongings transferred to someone else.

A successful PK…

"Hyung-nim!"

TaejeongTaese yelped and rushed to SafetyNo8's side, but from where I stood it was already clear the man was gone.

"Hyung-nim! Hyung-niiim!!"

The Commander, briefly thrown by the sudden collapse, recovered and shoved TaejeongTaese away from the body.

"Move. I'll take him to the medic—"

Midway through lifting SafetyNo8, he must have realized the man was dead; his words faltered for a second. Still unwilling to pronounce death in front of us, he simply carried the body out of the room and disappeared.

So failing a strategy gets you killed.

What happened after death, though?

Was that the end?

Or did you return to reality, like ShutInYeobo and I had discussed?

If I'd known, I could've asked him to pass a message to anyone who stopped by the convenience store next time… once he died and went back…

It was easier on the mind to believe he had returned to reality than to accept that he was simply gone for good. So I chose that version.

I glanced at TaejeongTaese. He was sitting on the floor with a hollow expression, staring in the direction the Commander had gone.

"Dopamine… why did Dopamine Addict hyung-nim suddenly…"

I watched him for a moment, then said flatly,

"First of all, that guy wasn't Dopamine Addict."

TaejeongTaese's head snapped up toward me.

"What did you just say?"

"That guy wasn't 'Dopamine Addict.' He used the username 'SafetyNo8,' if you didn't know."

"What are you talking about?! Just a minute ago you said you'd help Dopamine Addict hyung-nim…!"

"I did help."

"That doesn't make any… Wait. If that person wasn't Dopamine Addict, then who the hell…"

Confusion gave way to dawning realization on TaejeongTaese's face.

"C-could you be… no, hyung-nim?"

"Yeah."

I looked him straight in the eye and said it.

"I'm Dopamine Addict."

…I really should've picked a cooler username.