The Regular Spot
"No, if I go in now I'll just be interrupting the filming. I'll head home today and come back another time."
"Aigoo, young lady, what are you talking about~"
"I'm sorry?"
"It would break this old woman's heart far more to see my regulars go hungry because of some shoot~ Come in, come in~"
"Yeonwoo! Grandma's insisting! I promise I won't let anyone touch your food! Even if the PD loses his mind over your looks, I'll hold him back!"
...No, that's not why I was hesitating.
"Come on, Yeonwoo! Let's just eat together! You came here to eat, didn't you? Wouldn't it be unfair to leave hungry?!"
"Young lady~ This granny's legs are giving out from waiting~ Come inside already~"
Ugh, fine.
"Okay... let's go in, then..."
In the end, I couldn't refuse, and I followed them into the restaurant.
"Huh?! Seyeon! You ran out of here earlier! What was that abou— ...huh? Wh-who, who is this...?"
A middle-aged man greeted us as we entered.
Hmm... he has the face of a PD if I've ever seen one.
"Ah! Mr. Director!"
Called it. Physiognomy really is a science.
Wait, hold on. If face-reading is a science, then what does that make mine...?
...I retract my statement. Physiognomy is not a science.
"Oh...! And this person is...! Um..."
"An acquaintance. I'm a regular here, so we ran into each other while I was out getting something to eat."
"Oh, really?! Then... um, would you happen to be... a member of the general public...?"
"No."
"Ah, I knew it! You must have an agency, then! In that case! Would you be interested in making a variety show appearance?! I can pay you quite well!"
"I'll pass."
I deliberately kept my answer clipped, hoping he'd take the hint and stop bothering me.
"Oh my, so you really are a celebrity, young lady~? No wonder I thought you seemed too striking to be an ordinary person~"
Not a celebrity, technically. A YouTuber. A virtual YouTuber, at that...
Well, these days YouTubers are basically celebrities anyway.
"I'm just... between projects at the moment."
"With a face like yours, young lady, time will solve all your problems~ Don't you worry~"
"Ahaha... thank you..."
...I *like* being between projects, actually.
Anyway, I made my way to the corner seat I always sat in when I came here.
It was tucked completely out of the way, so it shouldn't interfere with the shoot. Should be fine, right?
"Wh-who is that person...?"
...Right, so apparently my mere existence *is* going to interfere.
Whatever. I'm just here to eat.
It wasn't as if I'd come because I wanted to — I'd been practically dragged in. There was no reason to worry about any of this, so I gave up on thinking about it entirely.
"Here you go, young lady~"
"Oh, thank you..."
While I was zoning out quietly after giving up on thinking, the old grandmother set a plate of gan-jajangmyeon down in front of me.
...Now that I think about it, isn't it my own fault for ordering gan-jajang every single time I come here?
If I'd occasionally gotten the jjambbong, or the fried rice, or the jjambbong over rice, she wouldn't have had to pre-cook the gan-jajang in advance to keep it on hand for me...
But! Their gan-jajang is objectively the best thing on the menu for my palate, so what can I possibly do about it?!
"Phew..."
The moment I let out a sigh, the murmuring around me fell silent.
Ah, I wasn't supposed to sigh, was I...
Since I was now doing the exact opposite of my original goal — being nothing but a nuisance — I hunched as close to my bowl as physically possible and ate while eavesdropping on the conversation between the PD and the cast.
"Shall we take a short break?"
"Yes! Let's!"
Seyeon nodded along to the PD's suggestion without a flicker of hesitation, smiling brightly.
...That's for my benefit, isn't it?
While the variety team chatted, I resolved to eat fast and bolt.
Even if the story about the male idol's girlfriend showing up today was true, nobody knew when she'd actually arrive. If I finished quickly and got out, problem solved, right? Mm-hm.
So there I was, hard at work inhaling my gan-jajang, when I sensed someone sidling up behind me. I turned around.
"What are you doing?"
"Ah! Yeonwoo! I'm so sorry to interrupt your meal, but... there's someone who wanted to say hello to you...!"
There stood Seyeon... and the male idol at the center of it all.
Why on earth would this person want to greet me...?
I did my best to smother the creeping sense of dread — surely it was nothing — and looked up at the blond male idol, whose hair sprouted from his head like a sea anemone.
"Hello there!—"
He introduced himself with something or other behind that, but I wouldn't have remembered it even if I'd listened, and besides, this was a guy who wouldn't be able to work a single day past today. I let it slide right past me.
"Ah. Hello."
"Hah...! Yeonwoo is so cool, isn't she?! Totally awesome, right?!"
"Huh? Yes! Hahaha! Absolutely awesome!"
Phew...! Right...! With a cutting board like this strapped to my chest, surely no one would dare try to flirt with me...!
When I'd first transformed, I used to fret pointlessly about strangers hitting on me on the street, but now, more than half a year in, I'd achieved a reasonable degree of self-awareness and no longer made such misjudgments.
But! There are always exceptions in this world, aren't there?!
Which is exactly why situations like this put me on high alert automatically.
Anyway, I cut that pointless tangent off right there and turned my attention back to the situation at hand.
Mm, I see, I see. So Seyeon was the target all along, huh? Not me?
"Ha..."
Where my earlier sigh had been one of irritation at getting tangled up in this mess, this one was a sigh of pure relief.
...Though I suspect it looked exactly the same to everyone around me.
Either way, thank goodness.
If he'd been coming onto *me*, well, he wouldn't get the chance to bother anyone ever again after today, so it would have been fine too. But still.
"Oh? Seyeon, you've got something on you here."
"What?! Really?! It must've happened during filming! Wait, where is it?!"
"Hehe~ riiiight here~?"
...Nope. Not okay.
Watching the male idol casually attempt skinship, I revised my assessment.
...This guy is even more unhinged than I thought—
Ah, I remember now!
The reason this whole scandal got buried was precisely *because* this male idol was such a lunatic — he flirted with every woman in sight, so it was impossible to pin down what he'd actually done wrong. And the food here was so good it hogged the headlines! Right!
...Ugh. What a shitshow.
This time I couldn't quite bring myself to sigh out loud, so I just grumbled inwardly.
"Seyeon. Come over here."
"Ah! Yes! Yeonwoo!"
"Should you let a stranger touch you however he pleases? Yes or no."
"N-no! You shouldn't!"
"Then why did you?"
"Wh...? Um... uh...? You're right?!"
...This really is a shitshow. What on earth am I supposed to do with someone whose brain is a flower field?
The silver lining is that she apparently didn't even register it as flirting, which is why she let him touch her. Now that I've warned her, she should stay on guard.
Hmm... but yeah, the eat-fast-and-run plan is officially scrapped.
Seeing him pull that stunt earlier, who knows what other tricks he might try next, so for now I decided to keep her by my side.
"Sit here."
"Oh! Yes! Hehe! It's been suuuch a long time since I've eaten with you, Yeonwoo!"
"It has. Since we're finally together again, why don't you stick with me until break time ends?"
"Gasp! Really?! Yes please!"
Letting Seyeon's happy chattering wash over one ear and out the other, I considered what to do next.
Should I slip out?
Hmm... no, that little scene just now is still nagging at me.
Yeah. Let's just lie low here quietly until this whole affair blows over.
The objective: protect Seyeon as best I can until filming wraps or the incident resolves, then make a quiet escape.
Right — and come to think of it, even if the girlfriend bursts in and raises hell, what harm would actually come to me?
Worst case, I get famous like before my regression and lose one regular restaurant. That's all.
And if any issue came up regarding my identity, the company would handle the response.
Even if pictures of me spread online, I'd be branded some gorgeous mystery woman — no one would ever connect me to Roze. Zero risk to my red pill, either. Mm-hm.
...Though it *would* be a bit of a hassle, admittedly.
But once I'd laid my thoughts out like that, my mind felt considerably lighter.
"Yeonwoo?! Are you listening?!"
"Yes, I'm listening."
With that, far calmer than before, I drastically slowed my eating pace.
"Grandma! One more order of tangsuyuk, small size!"
I ordered sweet and sour pork on top of everything else.
I'd snack on it like popcorn while watching the show unfold later.
"Gasp! Yeonwoo, can you really finish all that?!"
"What? If there's leftovers, I'll just give it to the staff."
"Oh! Of course! That's our Yeonwoo! What a brilliant idea!"
...Is this an insult? Am I being told I'm dumping scraps on the staff?
"Oh, Seyeon. Do you have a spare pair of sunglasses?"
"Huh? Yes! I do! But why do you need sungla— oh! Is it so your face doesn't show up on the broadcast, just in case?! Yes! Of course, borrow mine!"
Some time passed, and the filming resumed.
Tch. Before the break I'd wanted to go home, and now...
Today, the situation just refuses to cooperate with me.
Anyway, I shielded myself from the glances around me with my cap and Seyeon's borrowed sunglasses, and ate as slowly as I possibly could.
And then, abruptly, the restaurant entrance erupted into chaos.
"Excuse me, ma'am! You can't go in there!"
Finally...! I can go home...!
The memory flashed through my mind of everything that had happened since I arrived — every time I'd pulled off my sunglasses and glared daggers the moment that damned male idol showed the slightest hint of trying skinship with Seyeon.
He'd been deterred after two or three rounds and stopped, which put me somewhat at ease, but staying on guard the whole time had been exhausting!
"Oppa! Is there some other bitch besides me?!"
"Huh?! Jihye?! What are you doing here! You can't just show up while I'm working!"
"Shut up, you bastard! Answer the goddamn question I asked you!!!"
...My ears.
As the ear-splitting screaming continued, I studied the expressions of the people around me.
Yeah, that's about right.
Just as I'd expected, everyone wore baffled faces, utterly lost as to what was happening.
For someone like me, who was enjoying this like a morning soap opera, it was pure entertainment.
I felt genuinely sorry for the poor souls who couldn't process the situation and therefore couldn't enjoy it.
"Is it her?! Is she the bitch who's been flirting with my oppa?!"
Oh, someone's getting accused?
The finger was pointing in my direction, so I turned my head to look.
There's no one there?
The only people around me were a handful of burly male staff members.
"Hey! You! Don't play dumb! You seduced my oppa, didn't you?! You shameless hussy!"
Huh...? Wait...?
Something felt off, so I set down my chopsticks and pointed a finger at myself.
"Yes! You! The shady woman hiding behind that hat and those sunglasses!"
...This is a goddamn catastrophe.