Cooking Stream

Hmm... wasn't that an all-time-record reaction?

The instant burst of firepower felt like it topped even when our first single charted. My hands had this much power? I knew cam streams were a cheat code for VTubers, but I didn't realize it went this far...

...But why on earth do they keep calling me cute?

Oh! No way! Could this be it?! The viewers know I lurk the community taking the temperature of public opinion, so are they doing this on purpose?! Just to torment me?! Wow... that is genuinely evil of them. Knowing full well I hate being called cute, and weaponizing it anyway... I still have so much to learn. I thought my trolling game was top-tier until now, but this has humbled me.

...And Sua clasping her hands together like that was flirting? No wonder she panicked when I didn't catch on. Given my usual track record, and this face of mine, she must have been flustered that I missed it entirely... Wait, hold on—now that my sync rate has climbed, did my knack for romance-related perception transfer to the girl who originally owned this body? Hmm... if I'd had even a single green light back when I was a guy, I could at least compare. Oh... don't tell me I was so oblivious to romance back then that green lights were flying everywhere and I never noticed a single one...?

...I think I just realized something deeply disturbing.

"Sigh..."

Whatever. Doesn't matter. I have no intention of dating or marrying in this body anyway. Right now, there are more pressing matters.

"Roze! Stop sighing and h-hurry up and help me!"

"I told you, just hold it still?"

"I c-can't hold it! It keeps wriggling and slipping right out of my hands!"

"Then throw it into the sink the exact second it slips."

"Absolutely not! I can't do that!"

"I'll take care of this part, then."

If we stalled any longer the stream would go stale, so I offered to handle it myself.

"I love you! Really! Our maknae is the best! You're the greatest!"

...She really must have hated it that much.

I pulled the rubber gloves back on, picked up the shad, and tossed it into the sink.

"See? Easy."

It went so smoothly that it deserved a "Ta-da!" caption in the edited video.

"...I can't even touch the thing properly. Do I really have to do it?"

"Of course."

"Boo hoo..."

"Spare me the aegyo. You almost got a fist earlier."

"Uh, s-so what do I do now?"

"You kill it. There's slicing through the neck with a knife, or snapping it like I did earlier."

As I said it, I drew my thumb across my throat.

"Eeek...!"

"...Can't do it this time either?"

"No...! I can—"

Thwack!

Right in the middle of Minseo's sentence, the shad put on the final dance of its life and threw a fit.

"KYAAA!!!"

"Oh dear, oh dear! Oh no!! What do I do about that!"

...My ears. For the sake of my hearing, I swiftly grabbed the kitchen knife and slit the shad's throat.

"There. That's the knife method. Honestly, I couldn't tell you which one's easier."

"A-aren't you scared?"

"Unnie... isn't it a little late to be ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠asking that now?"

"Ah..."

For Minseo, who was scared out of her wits, I took drastic measures.

"Wooju. From this point on, if you get through it without a single mistake, I'll reduce your quota to just three fish—this one included."

"R-really?!"

"Yes. Have you ever seen me lie?"

...Did I?

Hmm... not in my memory, so it doesn't count.

"Anyway. It's true."

"F-fine! What the heck, I'll give it a shot!"

"Roze? And me?"

At Sua's question, I didn't turn my head—I kept my eyes fixed on Minseo as she stubbornly took up the knife again.

"What about me?"

"Wooju. Hurry it up."

"Hey! What about me!"

"Haha! You should've gone first!"

"Exactly."

"Heeey! Meee!"

Sua grabbed my body and shook it in protest, but I decided to let it slide—because that little display had utterly erased any intention of trimming her count. So there I was, humoring Sua's tantrum for a bit, when I witnessed an ominous sight.

"Huh? I-is this right?"

"Ah, hold on. Somi. Let go of me."

If I left that alone, she was going to actually cut her hand off. Minseo's knife work looked deeply alarming, so I hastily shook Sua's grip loose and rushed over.

"Wow... no... did nobody in chat tell you not to swing a knife like that?"

"Uh... I wasn't reading chat..."

...Right. They really were suffering.

To relieve the viewers' agony, I corrected Minseo's posture.

"Hold it exactly the way I'm holding it."

"Uh... like this?"

...Good grief. The way she wrapped her fingers around that knife defied all description—I couldn't help but marvel.

"No. Like this, I said?"

"Hmm... isn't it this...?"

...I'd better just fix her grip personally.

"Come here."

I called Minseo over and guided her hand directly, moving it myself.

"Got it now?"

"Yeah... probably...?"

...Why is there a "probably" attached to that?

"...Just try it with this grip for now."

"Okay..."

Thankfully, she scaled it cleanly and got the head off without incident.

But then,

"Ugh...! The innards... ugh..."

"What, don't you eat the innards when you have crab? You've never had innard soup?"

It's not so different from those things, is it?

She stumbled a few more times after that, but she saw it through to the end.

"I! Did it!"

"Well done."

"Really?!"

"Yes. Only two more fish to go now."

"Huh...?"

Leaving Minseo frozen stiff at my words, I turned to Sua instead.

"Oh, nice work."

"...That was easier than I expected?"

"See?"

"Yeah. The killing part at the very beginning was the hardest."

After that, we all prepped the shad together while trading idle banter.

"What's everyone dipping their sashimi in?"

"Sweet chili paste for me!"

"Me? I'm not picky, honestly?"

"Really? If I had to choose, I'd mix wasabi into my soy sauce."

Well, my hands were getting used to the work, so the speed was picking up.

...It's been two hours?

Ha... when exactly were we supposed to make the spicy fish stew...

...Should I just skip it?

It had been fun, but I was starting to regret ever bringing live shad in the first place.