The Dawn Guerrilla Stream
And so the three of us filed into the soundproof booth and turned on the computer.
"Anyone drunk right now, just a little?"
Better to check once, just in case.
"...I got all sobered up from being bullied."
...Well, that's a bit of a shame.
"That's because you blocked me from drinking more."
Sua jabbed a finger at me, sulking, and I turned my head slowly to meet her glare.
"...You're welcome."
"See?"
"...Yeah."
I did save her liver, so being thanked is only fair.
"So whose account are we streaming on?"
"Wooju's account, obviously."
"A Wooju stream without Wooju? That kind of thing? Fun!"
"Exactly that kind of thing."
I had three reasons for choosing Wooju's account.
First, I just didn't want to use mine. If I went live at three in the morning, at least thirty percent of chat would be cursing me out for the notification alone, and I had no desire to get drunk AND get flamed.
Second, this was probably the only chance I'd ever get to stream on Wooju's account without Minseo.
Third, it simply seemed like the funniest option.
Hmm. Flawless logic.
"So what are we doing?"
"On the Wooju stream without Wooju, we're going to trash-talk Wooju behind her back."
"Huh? Is that... right?"
Ah, right — heard on its own, that sounds terrible.
Even I could tell that needed more explanation, so I added, "She said she can't cook, so I'm just going to do a little content build-up. Don't worry."
"You really do love your build-ups...."
"And if we run out of things to say, we can always do rock-paper-scissors wrist slaps."
Anyone watching at three a.m. would love whatever we did anyway.
"...I don't think I could hit you, Yeonwoo."
"Right. Hit her once, catch that terrifying look on her face, and you won't sleep tonight."
"...That's not — I just mean, IF we run out of things to do."
Sad that neither of us can argue with that....
Anyway, after hashing out a rough plan, we started the stream.
Stream on, which meant I sent the text I'd been planning to our manager.
I imagined what face the manager would make upon waking up in the morning as I turned my eyes to the chat window.
...Why are my viewers so sweet?
What kind of wars have I been fighting all this time...?
"...I can't get used to this. What do I do?"
"Why? Oh — the chat, right."
"Fair. Rose's chat is pretty brutal...."
"I'll handle chat moderation myself, so no playing chat cop — everyone just watch the stream properly."
Thankfully, watching chat tear into each other exactly like usual put me at ease.
Phew. So there WERE people who drifted in from other streams after all.
I thought my channel was nothing but die-hard regulars who only watched me.
"Whoa... you cut messages so fast."
"Do you do this normally? You look super practiced."
"Huh? Yes. I do. Obviously."
"No, the company assigned each of us a chat moderator, remember? Why would you do it yourself?"
"Mm... I just delete anything that catches my eye...."
When I watch chat, I just remove whatever I happen to see. No big thought behind it.
Was that really so fascinating?
"I guess the moderator's slower than me, so I do it myself. They should step it up."
Having nothing better to say, I wrapped it up with a shrug.
The moderator on my stream was surely asleep right now anyway, and there'd be no recording left as evidence, so it should be fine.
I was about to announce that it was just the three of us today when Sua beat me to it.
"Hmph, and why aren't our Cotton Candies looking for ME?"
Her fandom name is Cotton Candy?
That's actually cute. Well done.
...Should I just stop reading chat?
"Somi, look at Rose's face."
"Hm? What— oh. Sorry...."
"...It's fine."
I knew Sua's streams were the gachikoi kind. Simp streams, in other words.
But I hadn't expected the atmosphere to be THIS thick.
So this is what talking to an actual girlfriend feels like....
It was so different from my own stream's vibe that adjusting was genuinely hard.
"But you know I love our Rose here the most, right?"
Sua was grinning while keeping an eye on my struggling expression, and I felt a tiny twinge of guilt, so I fired back with my usual on-stream line.
"...I'm not jealous or anything."
"...So cute."
I'd said it half-expecting some kind of reaction, but seriously — what exactly has Yerin found cute about me all this time?
...Seriously, should I stop reading chat?
I knew my stream had a distinctly different atmosphere, but was this not going TOO far?
As I mulled over why my stream and this chat were so different, a thought struck me, and I asked Sua and Yerin, "Hey, what's your viewer gender ratio, roughly?"
"Mine was... seven to three?"
"Six to four for me."
So Sua's seven-to-three and Yerin's six-to-four.
For a simp-heavy stream, Sua's female ratio is pretty high.
Yerin being popular with women made sense too.
Minseo, I wasn't sure, but probably around seven-to-three as well?
...So THAT'S why I couldn't adjust. Figures.
"What about you, Rose?"
"...Nine to one."
"Goodness."
My stream is EXTREMELY male-dominated, that's why!
I'd almost never seen women gush like that, so I had zero immunity!
Those were probably viewers from the other members' streams.
...And THAT is my channel's audience.
"Anyway, the three of us are all there is. If you want anyone else, you'll have to go wake them up."
Hmm. There it is — of course they asked.
It was a question I'd anticipated, so I gave the answer I'd prepared.
"It looked fun."
Seeing everyone nod along left me with a strange feeling, but I let it slide.
It was comfortable, at least.
"So, with Wooju out cold, we were thinking of talking a little trash about her."
"Gasp! THAT'S what you're going to talk about?"
"Oh dear, what are we going to do with our unnie?"
Everyone's playing along beautifully.
Good thing I explained my reasons earlier.
Whoever that was has read my personality pretty well — definitely one of MY viewers.
"It's nothing that serious, so don't worry. It's just stream content."
With the viewers reassured, we launched into the story proper.
"Shall we start from the beginning of the incident?"
"Mm... Wooju-unnie got all excited about hosting our company dinner at her place, so she cooked, right?"
"Yep. And quite a lot of it, too."
...Is positive thinking just the default setting for female fans?
It was the same with Seyeon, whom I'd met over the featured track — they all interpret everything in the nicest possible way.
Oh. So THIS is that "total validation" thing.
Definitely a different breed from the male viewers, I noted, and continued.
"She kept bragging to us about how hard she'd worked on it."
"She was doing that before you even got there. Going on about how much effort she put in."
"Didn't she say it took her over three hours?"
...Wait, those dishes took THAT long?
"The taste, well. I couldn't tell you."
"Exactly. You have to eat it before you can judge. How would we know without tasting it?"
"Well, the sandwiches were good, at least."
"Unnie... those were the ones I bought on the way over...."
"Ah."
As we explained more of the situation, we arrived at the shocking tteokbokki segment.
"The thing she proudly showed us was this incredibly red tteokbokki."
"At first I could tell it was tteokbokki, but the color was so off I thought it was some special extra-spicy fire tteokbokki recipe of hers, but...."
"The burnt parts were very visible."
"When we said we'd pass for the sake of our health, she got all sulky about it."
Hmm. A member who can cook, huh.
"Oh, Rose can cook a bit."
Huh?
"That's right. She promised to make sundubu-jjigae for us tomorrow."
"Really? Yum."
"No, I'm telling you, I'm not on that level."
No, I'm just your average person living alone, that's all.
Isn't this hype getting a little out of hand?
While I was busy thinking that, chat had already moved on to a new topic.
Hmm... did I make it too obvious?
But then, if I keep denying it and never admit it was a build-up, doesn't that mean they haven't actually caught me?
"What are you talking about? I was just genuinely fascinated that someone can be that bad at cooking, that's all."
"It IS fascinatingly bad, though."
"For me, it was when I heard she'd use regular soy sauce if she didn't have soup soy sauce that I went, THAT bad?! Like, seriously?"
And so the three of us were earnestly insisting this was NOT a build-up when suddenly we heard the soundproof booth door open.
Click!
"Eek!"
"What the—?!"
"Guys...? What are you doing...?"
"Wooju-unnie?!"
"How are you awake?"
No, seriously, how?
Nobody woke you. You showed zero signs of stirring.
"...The manager called me."
Ah. So she was awake the whole time....
At those words I checked my phone and found it stuffed full of missed calls and unread messages.
...I'm getting scolded later, aren't I.
"So what stream is this...?"
"Trash-talking you, Wooju-nim."
"What?"
"We were just giving a detailed explanation of how you can't cook."
"Hey! I'm telling you I'm not THAT bad!"
Cooking clearly struck a nerve — her reaction was sharper than usual.
"Turn the stream off! Why are you on MY account?! Off, now!"
"Okay."
"Yeah, we've done plenty anyway."
"Mm. That was fun!"
"...Huh?"
Leaving a flustered Minseo behind — she'd clearly expected a fight when we so readily agreed to shut it down — I turned to chat.
Hmm. For the sake of our grieving viewers, let's toss them a gift.
"By the way, this stream's VOD and clips are all getting deleted, so anyone who missed it, feel free to go flex on the sleeping fans."
See? The word "flex" really does have magic that lifts people's spirits.
I'd say that counts as an excellent parting gift. I felt proud.
Oh? Didn't see that one coming.
An unexpected bonus.
Here's what I'd originally figured: everyone watching now would write posts on the cafe about Minseo's cooking skills anyway. Plus, on stream we'd already asked the other members if it was true.
So the information about Minseo's cooking would spread on its own — the video itself didn't matter.
But if they wanted to interpret it as proof of innocence, well, far be it from me to complain.
"Anyway, today's stream was fun. Thank you all."
And so, after ending the broadcast, I got chewed out over the phone by the manager — something along the lines of, "You were drinking, and you thought going live was a good idea?"
Ah, yes — with Yerin and Sua catching the same lecture, of course.