What Kind of Machine Is This? Why Does Hitting Fix It?
"Raise your hands, you guys who made me listen to this."
As expected, the confession had zero nutritional value, so I went on the offensive against the chat window first.
"I mean, I had to hear it out anyway... but zero wiggle room here."
But it felt like I was the one getting hit instead, so I averted my eyes. The branch chief, pinned down by my subordinate and trembling like a leaf. Wait, with that attitude, I'm starting to look like the bad guy. Was this the underdog effect? I glanced away, scared of what kind of drip the chat would drop next, and spoke up.
"So, Branch Chief? You figured you'd make a killing and bolt, that's why you pulled this crap?"
"Y-yes, yes!"
"And the reason you thought that was 'cause someone else was handling security around here, so you'd lose out on the sweet deals if you didn't muscle in?"
"Yes! That's right. Yes, yes."
Actually, there was one thing I was really curious about while listening to this confession.
"Then... didn't it ever cross your mind that sticking your neck out and causing a ruckus would get you on the bad side of whoever was 'handling security'?"
They might not have known it was me, but still. If you could guess some overwhelmingly powerful figure was protecting the whole area, wouldn't that be worth considering? He didn't seem like the type to follow the law himself while expecting others to, though—not exactly living in a flower garden.
"Th-that..."
The branch chief glanced at me slyly before answering.
"I figured... you wouldn't care."
Aw, crap. Shouldn't have looked at chat. Of course it'd gone on this long 'cause I never paid close attention. As if I wouldn't care at all.
"Agh."
"You guys are still dropping drips at a time like this?"
They seemed pretty serious on the way here. But after seeing the branch chief's antics, they were already in full enjoyment mode. From the chat reactions, it looked like my comment last time about not stepping in had caused some serious misunderstanding. I wasn't some god lording over them or anything.
"I said I'd move if I felt like it, right?"
Hmm. Didn't expect the arrows to turn on me in a situation like this. I knew a bit about the overseas mess, sure.
"Sorry, but... no dice on the guilt trip."
Same with debating magical girl mindsets. Our juniors on Earth operated differently, but this job was closer to listening to the neighborhood cotton candy shop owner's woes than globe-trotting to save world peace. And above all, I'd witnessed death countless times already.
"If I were the type to fix things just by caring, I'd have cleaned up the Middle East or Ukraine warzones ages ago."
That's why I don't like debating grand justice or fairness. I just do what I want. "Why care here but skip that? Why this and not the other?" Nah. What about all that talk last time on humanity's fate and civilization? Well, yeah, I wanted civilization to stick around... 'cause that's where my daily life is.
"Sigh. Got long-winded there."
I glanced at the chaotic chat and let out a sigh. Prolonged excuses are a sin, but after respawning so many times... whatever.
"Let's stop veering into the weeds and get back to business."
I gestured for the branch chief—who shuddered at the word "handle"—to stand. While I focused on the stream, they seemed to whisper something, and the subordinate mellowed out.
"So, you've reflected, right?"
"Yes, sir! Reflection! I'm reflecting!"
"On what?"
"I didn't think you'd watch, and this lowly me dared to rampage..."
"Ugh."
Clang!
Wrong answer.
I casually melted the ice club I'd made for evidence disposal. In front of me: the subordinate youth with a shocked face, and the branch chief smashing his head into the floor again. If I so much as panted, it'd look like a detective manga culprit scene.
"Uh, he shouldn't be dead."
Once I thought of him as a mini-dragon, it kinda... gave off a tough vibe, so I held back less than usual. ...Not too hard, right?
"Yes, sir! Alive!"
Good, he endured. Forehead bleeding like a faucet was rough, but the wound already seemed to be healing.
"Phew. So... what are you reflecting on?"
"I joined the Association for selfish reasons! As branch chief, I led my branch comrades into evil deeds! I extorted merchants with violence!"
I wasn't even planning to call out the selfishness. But seeing him yell a totally different script now—what was this, a machine? Why did hitting fix it?
Eh, if it's fixed, who cares. I spoke to the branch chief as he bellowed his list of reflections in a booming voice.
"So, what's next?"
"I'll reform! Our Yeongju Branch will wipe out all past evils and become kind neighbors to the citizens!"
"Pardon?"
The subordinate stared at the chief in disbelief, then quickly nodded after checking my eyes. I figured making them useless was enough... but if they wanna do good deeds, no reason to stop 'em. Whether they'd get the chance was another story.
"To do that, you'll need to round up the other Association members first, right?"
"Yes, sir!"
Apparently they were still out collecting "fees." To fix anything, we'd need 'em all together.
No, don't paint me as the villain.
After rounding up the 17 Association members summoned without issue, we hit the road.
"Hey now."
I turned at the chat's salt, looking back. Over half the awakeners were limping or clutching bruised spots, groaning. They'd seen the chief's state and either jumped me or stubbornly insisted they were in the right till the end. ...Surprisingly, I wasn't the one who did that to 'em. The chief, like a loyal frontliner, charged ahead and beat 'em down before I could even move. The unscathed ones—feeling guilty or relieved—joined smoothly. These guys had come back bragging about collections or bitching about failures, unlike the time-wasters. No big difference since they all went along with it... but thinking about awakeners' current lot, maybe there was.
"Huh, true that."
They really were a group with zero wiggle room. Couldn't even grasp why they'd hate being called gangsters. Me and chat having a laugh while the Association folks looked headed to the slaughterhouse—we arrived at the central market. Merchants with grim faces spotted us and freaked.
"What the—again?!"
"Isn't this over already?"
Threadbare but abandoning stalls to hide inside. Hadn't even been days, yet this reaction.
"......"
"Th-that's a misunderstanding!"
The branch chief—who couldn't even whimper to me—protested like he was truly wronged.
"He's right about that. This is just the usual for them."
The one who chimed in was the only old man approaching while merchants hid: cane in hand, frail-looking but with fierce eyes.
"There used to be actual gangsters before these guys. Merchants are used to it 'cause of them."
"Wait, actual gangsters too?"
"Heh heh. We chased 'em out."
"......"
Thud—
I shot him a "Chased out by doing that?" look, and he slammed his head to the ground fast. Was this a saturation bombing? Pre-TS and non-conscript, not sure the term.
Chat confirmed it. The grandpa with shining eyes went slack-jawed at the sight. But the shock didn't end there—the awakeners, gauging moods, knelt like dominoes after the chief.
"Wh-what's this?!"
"Mercy, Merchants' Association Chair!"
The chief bellowed impressively from that pose. So he was the local merchants' chair. Never crossed my mind since I hadn't poked around much. Duh, knowing the chair doesn't come with shopping at the market.
"Branch Chief Jo. What in the world is going on?"
"Hold on. First, please take this!"
Shouting that, he kept position but maneuvered his bound hands behind to open his bag.
Chat was wowed by the performance as a small safe dropped from the bag—the market's "collections" (plus a bit extra as apology).
"Th-this is......"
"Truly! We're sorry!"
"We're sorry!"
Before the chair could fully react, a group apology echoed through the market. Hiding merchants peeked out to check. The chair picked up the safe in a daze, scanning around.
"What on earth? Are you mocking us?"
My doing, sure, but surreal. The chair eyed surroundings warily, almost alarmed. Just before his gaze hit the only standing me chatting away, the chief spoke up again.
"No! Our Yeongju Awakener Association Branch regrets and reflects on our past criminal acts, and we're working to turn over a new leaf!"
"But you were threatening us not even 30 minutes ago......"
"And as part of that, we're going around asking forgiveness from everyone hurt by our evils!"
First stop here, though. Kinda embarrassing standing here looking like one of them, so I edged back.
"We'll deeply reflect and become new people!"
"We're sorry!"
"O-okay, stop and stand up. What the heck happened?"
Merchant instincts? He'd already checked the safe's contents quick and shook his head. Perception inhibition wasn't kicking in, but a tiny cute girl like me doing anything? His passing glance slid right off.
"Kinda a magical girl way of solving things, huh."
Getting the chief and awakeners up amid the talk—it seemed resolved for now.
"Eh, that's post-release business, right?"
"What're they on about?"
"Gotta go confess at the station after the rounds."
Not like monsters crashed the party. Apologize for crimes, then pay up at the cops. That's the magical girl tradition I knew, right?
Leaving the chat's lingering vibe, I led the awakeners on rounds like the Pied Piper.