The Heavenly Demon's Drunken Love Tutelage
The Moonviewing Hall had finally regained a flicker of its long-lost vitality, but the moment Artin and Cayen withdrew, silence settled over it once more.
“Those boys. I told them they could stay the night and rest, yet they refused. My words are supposed to carry the weight of heaven itself...”
Even as she grumbled, the Heavenly Demon did not forcibly detain the pair who wished to leave. To her, this place had always been a whirlwind of incidents and lively chaos. To them, however, it was likely nothing more than a desolate, slightly eerie building.
“...When I think of it that way, I really have become an old woman, haven’t I?”
Her tale had already transformed into half-legend, passed down through oral tradition. None who had walked the same era as her remained. It was the most natural thing in the world for humans, yet confronting it directly made the weight of that loneliness feel heavier than the heavenly limits that had once crushed her as a child.
Whenever loneliness gripped the Heavenly Demon, she always did the same thing: pull out the liquor she kept stashed in her drawer and drink alone.
“Hehe, it seems you two are my only remaining friends.”
Normally, her pure internal energy would have made it impossible for her to get drunk, but particularly strong spirits slowed the detoxifying effect of her demonic energy, allowing her to stay intoxicated for quite some time. Thanks to that, the cabinet where the Heavenly Demon had hidden alcohol during her academy days was now packed with ancient liquors potent enough to fell even a dwarf in a single bottle.
“Having lost my husband to demonic energy, only to rely on that same demonic energy to get drunk and endure the days. Even I have to admit it’s ridiculous.”
There was no one to listen, yet she spoke the monologue anyway. If she did so in this room, it felt as though Shen might burst out at any moment to scold her for drinking.
Her husband, who had endured her terrible drinking habits and become her friend by clinking glasses with her. The husband who, whenever she caught him secretly masturbating, would pretend to read a magazine yet unconsciously moan her name. The wonderful Shen who always sacrificed himself for those around him while leading them forward with a bright smile.
Lin Xiangfei, the Heavenly Demon, missed Shen terribly.
“...That Artin boy really is strange, isn’t he?”
While sipping from her cup and thinking of her husband, the Heavenly Demon’s gaze unconsciously drifted toward the yanggaeng Artin had brought her. Despite all the torment and whining she had subjected him to, the boy—her first pupil in a very long time—had reached out first, not because he was about to cry, but simply because she looked like she was struggling.
“It’s odd. His face doesn’t resemble Shen’s much, and his build is rather small, yet whenever I look at him, Shen keeps coming to mind.”
She had known the name Artin for quite some time. It was the very name Shao Mei had sung about ever since she was little. However, the Heavenly Demon—who had long rejected the pain of losing those close to her—had shown no interest in the boy her great-granddaughter adored. She had only come this time because her grandson had begged so persistently.
At first, she hadn’t intended to drag him here by force. If he turned out to be worthless, merely another fool enchanted by her great-granddaughter’s beauty, she was prepared to discipline him accordingly.
...But Artin was far better than the smooth-talking boys she had met over the past several decades.
“It has been decades, hasn’t it? Since I last met someone who tried to block my strike instead of dodging.”
On the first day, when she had thrown a punch as a test, both Cayen and Artin’s responses had left an impression. Cayen had desperately tried to protect his companion Artin with all his strength, while Artin had drawn her power toward them to minimize any collateral damage before blocking the blow. That was why the pair had needed the Saintess’s healing.
If they had simply deflected the attack, they might not have been injured. Yet they had stubbornly chosen to bear the burden themselves.
“I thought Shao Mei only inherited my looks, but it seems her taste in men is rather excellent too.”
With a small chuckle, the Heavenly Demon downed a full cup of the harsh liquor. The burning sensation that blazed down her throat, usually only bitter, felt strangely pleasant today. If there was ever a day she wanted to get properly drunk, this was it.
“Very well. Starting tomorrow, I shall teach them properly without interference...? I cannot allow my great-granddaughter to lose such a fine man.”
So saying, she popped one of the remaining blue yanggaeng into her mouth and chewed. Mm, that refreshing sweetness really wasn’t bad.
—Creak!
At that moment, the door to the room where the Heavenly Demon resided burst open.
She was startled. She hadn’t expected anyone to come to her residence, and she had deliberately suppressed her senses to focus solely on getting drunk.
“...C-Cayen? What brings you back at this hour?”
The one who had flung the door open in such haste was, surprisingly, the hero Cayen Silversword, who had left earlier. On the surface, he was an incredibly handsome man. Yet according to Shao Mei’s letter, he was a homosexual—or perhaps bisexual—secretly lusting after Artin. A rather ridiculous label for the current generation’s hero, but his gaze, breathing, and reactions during training proved the assessment eerily accurate.
“Heavenly Demon—no, Master. This unworthy disciple wishes to request your guidance.”
“...S-so suddenly? At this hour? And without Artin, what could you possibly want?”
Clearing her throat, the Heavenly Demon reverted to a more dignified tone and pretended to sip her drink while observing Cayen’s expression.
‘...What is this? That desperate look in his eyes? He truly... wants something with all his heart!’
Seeing the look in Cayen’s eyes, the Heavenly Demon couldn’t help but feel quite flustered. Even during training and when blocking her strike, Cayen’s attention had always been fixed on Artin beside him. Yet now he gazed at her with eyes that seemed to carry his very life on the line.
“Didn’t you say you would accept me as your disciple! There is something I desperately, desperately wish to learn!”
“What could possibly drive you to such desperation, Hero Cayen?”
Watching Cayen kneel and press his forehead to the floor in supplication, the Heavenly Demon set down her cup and straightened her posture. She had never once refused a man who pleaded with her so sincerely.
“...I wish to learn. The great achievements you have accomplished, Master!”
“Hoh, I see. So you wish to personally exterminate the Demon King’s leadership with your own hands? From what I have seen, your swordsmanship and magic already seem quite polished...”
From the Heavenly Demon’s perspective, unlike Artin—who had at least learned the basics from Shao Mei—Cayen’s path of growth was already firmly established. If he continued as he was, he would achieve great things. Given enough time, he could reach the level of her prime. Still, rapidly nurturing a young, inexperienced, and impatient hero wasn’t a bad idea. If she taught him properly, she was confident she could raise Cayen into a martial artist even stronger than herself at her peak.
“If you are that earnest, then very well. I had originally planned to focus on teaching Artin, but I shall impart to you the Heavenly Demon Divine Art and all the secrets of Mount Tai, forging you into the strongest martial artist alive!”
Laughing arrogantly, the Heavenly Demon made her declaration with confidence. For someone who had not properly taught a disciple in fifty years, this was rare, but she judged the boy before her worthy of the effort.
“That is not it. I do not wish to learn martial arts from you, Heavenly Demon.”
“...What? Martial arts, you say? Did you just refer to the Heavenly Demon Divine Art as ‘martial arts’...?”
“What I wish to learn is your incredible... romantic prowess! The magnificent ability that allowed you to overcome countless rivals and claim victory not as a mere formal disciple but through pure, genuine love!”
“D-do you even understand what you are saying...?”
It was absurd. To come seeking her at the hour when even the twilight cried out, only to ask her to teach him romance? In over a century of life, no one had ever asked the Heavenly Demon to teach them how to date. There were those who had spread malicious rumors about her, leading to her being treated like a stalker, but who would dare ask the supreme martial authority for lessons in love rather than martial arts?
“If you intend to spout such nonsense, then leave. It seems I misjudged you.”
“Please, I beg you! Overcoming so many rivals could not have been possible with only your beautiful appearance and magnificent charm! Surely you possess unique, extraordinary methods of your own? I must learn them!”
“...Beautiful appearance... charm... ahem. Well, yes, I suppose this lady’s beauty is rather exceptional. While Shao Mei’s mixed blood has caused certain parts to grow excessively, the true balance of a perfect figure belongs to this lady, does it not?”
However, there was one crucial fact. The Heavenly Demon... was terribly weak to compliments. Extremely weak.
Seeing her crumbling resolve, Cayen lifted his head and gazed at her with eyes full of desperate longing.
“...I, too, wish to achieve my love. But with my own abilities...! I cannot even make the person I love look at me, let alone protect her from filthy bastards! Please, grant me your guidance! Master! No—God of Romance! Heavenly Demon!”
It was blatant, honey-laced flattery. Under normal circumstances, the Heavenly Demon would have ignored such obviously calculated praise no matter how thirsty she was for compliments and given Cayen a sharp flick to the forehead. But she had just downed five consecutive cups of the legendary spirit known as “Dragon’s Breath,” which exceeded eighty percent alcohol, and was now pleasantly buzzed.
“...Looking at you now, you somehow remind me of myself when I was young. Back when I was anxious and restless because of those fox-like wenches who would sidle up to Shen and flirt shamelessly even though he already had a fiancée with her eyes wide open.”
“...Heavenly Demon!”
“Very well! This romance scholar. This master of love. This genius of romance! This god of love! Lin Xiangfei, the Heavenly Demon, shall assist you in your pursuit of love! While many have learned martial arts from me, you are the first to learn romance. Therefore, I shall take you as my chief disciple!”
“Thank you! Heavenly Demon! Thank you so much!”
“For now, sit and pour the drinks! First, this lady shall tell you what kind of battlefield of blood and flowers she had to cross to become the sole victor!”
“Yes! I will engrave every lesson into my heart!”
His sincerity had reached her. Cayen burst into a bright smile and sat across from the Heavenly Demon. How long had it been since she last had a disciple who served her so respectfully yet warmly? Intoxicated with excitement, the Heavenly Demon began bestowing her teachings upon him, recounting tales from her past!
*
“I must have gone mad. Truly mad.”
The next morning, the Heavenly Demon opened her eyes in bed, clutched her head, and recalled the previous night’s events. Even after drinking such strong liquor, her pure internal energy had preserved fragments of her memory. Without even a hangover, the memories were painfully vivid, allowing her to replay her own actions over and over.
“That Cayen boy is clearly after Artin no matter how you look at it..! What have I done to my own great-granddaughter’s rival...!”
Well, calling him a rival might be laughable, but she clearly remembered the words she had repeated several times.
“Worry not! Artin? Even if it were Artin’s grandfather, this lady, Lin Xiangfei, shall do everything in her power to make him fall for you!”
The Heavenly Demon, who had always kept her word without fail, now felt an overwhelming urge to strike her past self with the secrets of the Heavenly Demon Divine Art.
‘How exactly am I supposed to make a man fall for another man! And for the boy my great-granddaughter has cherished for so long that they finally became engaged...!!’
No matter how she analyzed his reactions, the other party was clearly heterosexual. She had noticed the occasional glances that traced her body, but since they never developed into lust, she had never scolded him for it. His sexual preferences were undoubtedly healthy.
On the other hand, Cayen possessed an astonishingly beautiful face, yet it was unmistakably masculine at the same time... a clear man. Moreover, during training, he had hated even being touched by Artin despite knowing his feelings. And now she was supposed to make him like it?
“...What should I do, Shen? It seems I’ve caused another accident...”
The words Shen had always said to her came to mind.
“Xiangfei, your drinking habits are really bad... so please drink in moderation. You can’t just gulp it down because you feel good.”
The portrait of Shen on the desk seemed to be saying it again. Overwhelmed by despair, the Heavenly Demon collapsed back onto the bed.
“We’re fucked...”