Chapter 115
Chapter 115
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Translator: MadScientist
Chapter: 115
Chapter Title: School Life #02
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Seeing the person who entered the classroom, I couldn't hold back my shock. Lin Shaomei looked just as stunned, her eyes wide open.
"Hello, everyone! Have you been praying diligently to the Goddess?"
This cheerful voice, that perfectly pressed priestly robe like it was measured with a ruler! That blond hair! Those blue eyes!
'What... what the hell is this guy doing here right now?'
At that moment, as my eyes met the fellow who was greeting everyone so energetically, he waved vigorously at me—clearly oblivious to my thoughts—before turning to write his name on the blackboard.
"Starting today, by order of the Church, I'll be taking care of you all in Senior Sergei’s absence~ And I'll be teaching you the theory of faith and magic. The name's Thomas!"
The handsome young blond priest wrote his name on the board with gusto, and the students around us began clapping and murmuring softly.
"Did you see? He looks so cute when he smiles with his eyes."
"Seriously... I thought I'd gotten used to guys like Kaiyen or Jorba, but a lively pretty boy type!"
"Even a priest that hot must have a girlfriend, right? If I ask him out for tea, will I get dragged off for blasphemy?"
At those dreamy comments, I could only let out a dumbfounded chuckle. If they knew what kind of guy he really was, they'd never say stuff like that.
"Why the face, Arthin? You know him?"
"...Know him? In the 3rd round, we hung out together so much it was nauseating."
There are plenty of priests named Thomas. But this guy was special—hell, he was crucial among them.
Angel Doctor Thomas: the young genius priest with the most holy power in the Northern Church after Saintess Olga herself. More skilled in wielding it than anyone else, he was even capable of summoning angels down to earth.
"What, so that's a good thing, right? Why hasn't a guy that amazing made a name for himself yet?"
"...Because even the Church treats him like a total lunatic."
By the story's lore, this young genius—supposedly 20 years old—had been seen as blessed by the Goddess alongside the saintess just seven years ago. Right up until he started spouting his madness.
"From now on, I'll help Teacher Senia get along with you all and make your school life fun! Any questions from the students?"
"Teacher! Do you have a girlfriend or a fiancée?"
'Oh, shit.'
At that moment, some bold female student shouted out the question, and I started thinking we were screwed.
...Of course, priests in this world were generally allowed to marry. Such a question was fair game. But this guy...
"Oh dear, kids, we shouldn't ask questions that might make Priest Thomas uncomfortable..."
"...Indeed! You're at that age where romance is on everyone's minds. To answer first: I have no lover! I haven't even experienced my first love yet!"
At those words, a few students burst out laughing, muttering about how someone his age had never been in love. But noticing the madness flickering in those blue eyes were probably just me, Kaiyen, and Lin Shaomei.
"But everyone, is it right to harbor such a noble emotion lightly? This sublime feeling bestowed by the Goddess upon humanity—is it okay to squander it without truly understanding, just rutting around like monkeys in heat?"
"...Huh? Did he just call us monkeys...?"
Was it the contrast between his clear, refreshing voice and the content of his words? Teacher Senia could only stammer in response, while the students sat there stunned, speechless.
"Let it sink into your lewd little brains: once purity is lost, not even God's omnipotence can restore it! Even if you repair a broken sword, no matter how pristine and sturdy the new one is, the stigma of it having been broken remains! Virginity is the same!"
BAM!! He slammed his fist on the blackboard fiercely, then began filling it with chalk, not hiding his manic fervor one bit.
"Even if God turns back time or remakes your flesh, the fact that your soul has been defiled once cannot change! No matter how pure the body, if your heart has held affection for another! If that sullied soul remains, you're no virgin! A slut! No different from a beast in estrus!"
"P-Priest! What are you saying in front of the students?!"
"That's exactly why they must hear it! Virginity is the one absolute value granted by God! Defiling it with the fleeting impulses of a female animal is the act of a whore selling herself! Blasphemy against the divine itself!"
Tap tap! Ignoring Teacher Senia's attempts to intervene, he continued his zealous rant, underlining three key terms.
"Heart! A mind that loves only one person! Any affection for another, even once, and you're out!!"
"Mind! Knowledge and spirit untainted! If you've ever exposed yourself to obscenity and dirtied your pure soul, it's no longer pristine—out!!"
"Body! A beautiful act permitted only to one's beloved! Allow contact with even a hint of impure intent, and you're out!!!"
"Only when all three align does true virginity emerge through the unity of heart, mind, and body!! The Goddess knows this purity is the world's greatest virtue!!!"
'Fuck, this psycho priest for real...'
My head was spinning. He was always extreme in his faith from various angles, but once he latched onto this heart-mind-body virginity theory, Priest Thomas got sidelined by the mainstream.
The reason was simple: if a priest preaching that became the Church's face, he'd end up branding all the nobles sponsoring the Church as lewd, horny beasts.
"...Is that priest sane, Arthin? Ranting like that in the academy?"
"Does he look sane to you? The guy's a genius, so he crushes everyone in theology debates, has deeper faith, summons angels—untouchable."
By the way, hanging out with him meant hearing that spiel five times a week or more. But I endured his madness and reaped all sorts of benefits. How'd I survive?
"...Ohhh!!! The truth was right here! I acknowledge you—you're the true enlightened sage!"
Why? 'Cause it was the exact same crap I'd heard nonstop in the 2nd round.
Unicorn suddenly shot up beside me, clapping wildly, and a headache hit me so hard I clutched my forehead.
"Unicorn... by that heart-mind-body theory, you're not a virgin, are you...?"
"Worry not. I've permitted my body only to you, achieving pure, devoted love—a chaste virgin I am."
I meant shut up, but Unicorn winked at me, muttering smugly like he was hot shit.
More importantly, did I have to keep listening to this drivel? Should I step in?
"Enough instilling strange ideas in the students, Priest Thomas."
Thud. Thud.
The sound of measured footsteps echoed from the classroom door, drawing every eye from Thomas's dizzying sermon to the newcomer.
"Teacher Sergei Chelifsky! When did you get back?! I heard Church duties were keeping you busy...?"
"I just got off the ship today with this Priest Thomas. My junior's a bit too radical; my apologies for the offense."
"Sir Sergei! What do you mean? The heart-mind-body virginity theory is something every student must—"
"Quiet."
With that refined, restrained voice, the manic heat filling the room vanished, replaced by solemn air.
"Students. It's been a while since our first day, so allow me to reintroduce myself. I am Sergei Chelifsky, holy knight of the Northern Church and homeroom teacher for your 1st Year Class B."
BOOM! Teacher Sergei struck the blackboard, and the scrawled text Thomas had filled it with vanished in an instant.
"However, due to my shortcomings, handling both Church duties and homeroom has proven challenging. After discussion with the headmaster, we've appointed my junior to assist Teacher Senia as co-homeroom teacher."
"...Mm, normally you'd be the main homeroom, but since it's your first year, we've decided experienced and seasoned Teacher Sergei continues as homeroom, with Priest Thomas helping out."
Teacher Senia—who'd been smiling sweetly just before the mad rant—glanced warily at Thomas and added the explanation with a slightly queasy look.
"Now, though it's only the first day and we've already caused a scene... As homeroom teacher, I need to counsel some students."
"...Oh, parent-teacher conferences? First I've heard..."
"Ah~ right! The headmaster mentioned some students needed counseling today! Haha!"
Sudden conferences? The Rose Pavilion incident, maybe?
"...That lunatic priest and the homeroom teacher... Don't tell me today...?"
"...? What's up, Shaomei?"
"Hold on, Big Brother. I need to focus."
Lin Shaomei, who'd been quietly observing from her seat, suddenly broke into a cold sweat and subtly released her qi to probe the surroundings.
"That woman's presence... definitely not in this building..."
"Today's counseling will be for student Kaiyen Silversword and student Arthin Ludwig. You two, come forward and follow me and Priest Thomas."
As Lin Shaomei muttered, Teacher Sergei named me and Kaiyen, then strode out into the hall without looking back.
"Uh... me and Kaiyen? Rose Pavilion stuff, right?"
"Looks like it. Guess we skip first period?"
"You guys testified, so it shouldn't take long. I'll be right back. Look after Claire. Let's go, Kaiyen!"
As Kaiyen and I stood, someone raised their hand toward Priest Thomas, who hadn't left the room yet.
"I am Arthin's contractor; may I come along?!"
"Ah~ Unicorn, sorry. Privacy rules mean counseling is strictly 1:1!"
"Last time with Teacher Senia, I went alone too, right? Unicorn, stay with Shaomei and Jorba, got it?"
"Mm... It'll be boring and lonely without Arthin... Fine."
Priest Thomas looked troubled, but I soothed Unicorn, who pouted but accepted. Back in the day, he'd have demanded carrot cake!
"...Claire, be back soon."
"Yeah, see you later, Kaiyen! I'll hang out with these... uh... fellow students!"
I left with Kaiyen tending to Claire. Priest Thomas closed the door, and Teacher Sergei led the way.
"So, how does the counseling work? Isn't it 1:1?"
"Oh, actually, Kaiyen's with Sir Sergei! And Arthin, you're with me!"
Hm, pairings already set? Still, with this crazy priest...
...Wait, something felt off just now? "Sir"?
"Did you just call me 'Sir Arthin' or something...?"
"No chit-chat. Silence in the halls is the rule."
As I tried questioning Priest Thomas, Teacher Sergei scolded us sternly without turning, forcing me to shut up.
'...I'll ask during counseling.'
*
"Kaiyen Silversword, this way. Counseling in Room 1."
"Got it. Be back soon, partner."
Up on the 5th floor of the classroom building, Teacher Sergei took Kaiyen toward Room 1.
"Ours is Room 5! Follow me?"
"Room 5? Why? 2 through 4 look empty..."
"It's already reserved! Just a few more steps, right?"
Rooms 1 and 5 at opposite ends of the hall—suspicious, but I followed Priest Thomas meekly.
'No way this guy's gonna pull something on me. Not like he's a heretic.'
Angel Doctor Thomas, the zealot, attacking me over heresy? About as likely as goat piss falling from the sky.
Whether good or bad, he was trustworthy—no way he'd turn villain.
'Unless... he finds out about the orgy with demons, devilkin, and Unicorn... then maybe?'
Watch my mouth. As I thought that, Thomas unlocked Room 5, then started patting himself down.
"Oops!? Forgot the counseling papers! Arthin, head in and wait? I'll grab 'em from the staff room!"
Before I could reply, Priest Thomas bolted down the stairs toward the staff room.
'...Fuck, this isn't some trap, is it?'
Super suspicious, but I doubted he'd backstab me. So what was he hiding?
Slide.
"...Anything here?"
I opened Room 5 and scanned inside—nothing shady. Table, two sofas, writing supplies, window... miscellaneous stuff, but no red flags.
"Nothing. Overreacting?"
I approached the sofa, still checking around carefully, but saw no traps. Relieved, I plopped down.
"...What if poison gas!"
I spun to check the door dramatically—no gas leaking. Really nothing?
"...He's a bit scatterbrained, so maybe a genuine mistake?"
......
......
Five minutes later, I was bored, lounging on the sofa.
"Why's he taking so long? Lose the papers and getting chewed out?"
Staff room run should've taken under five, tops. Did he tumble down the stairs? I counted ceiling tile stripes to pass time.
Creak! Click! Lock.
Door opened behind me, then shut softly.
'...Lock?'
That's the locking sound. What...? Trap after all?
"Priest Thomas? Why so la—"
I gathered mana for a mana sword in my hand, pretending nonchalance as I turned slowly. Someone wrapped an arm around my neck from behind.
"Priest?! What the hell?!"
A BL drift trap? Had his intellectual vibe fooled me into thinking he'd fallen for me?
Despite my frantic words, the one hugging me just emanated sweet incense, saying nothing.
'Hyah, incense is what priests use instead of perfume... Did he spend five minutes dolling up to seduce me?!'
Fuck, Angel Doctor a BL type? He looked like a sub-male lead from a romance fantasy webtoon—picky with women, though...!?
Chills ran down my spine. Kaiyen wasn't enough; now a second BL?
"Let go, or fist to the face. Might cave it in for real."
"...Ku ku ku."
Laughing? At a threat to smash his face? Masochist too?
"Dead serious! Counting to three, then punch! One! Two!"
Killing a priest makes me a criminal, but decking one groping a minor is self-defense. I frantically counted, channeling mana and internal energy into my fist!
"Really, Husband's the same as ever. I tease, and you take it so seriously—it's your charm, you know?"
The voice from behind wasn't the slim young man's tone of Angel Doctor Thomas. It was a seductive, intoxicating purr that could corrupt any man...
'And... the one who calls me "Husband"...?'
"Too long since we met, so I played a prank... You're not mad, are you, Hus~band~?"
"...O-Olga? Olga Virtus, is that you?"
I'd lacked the courage to face Priest Thomas up close, who must've been shooting affectionate glares, so I slowly turned to confirm the owner of the arms around my neck.
"Oh my... Guessing right away instead of checking? A bit hurtful... But it's been ages, so I'll forgive you this once, Hus... band..."
The sweet incense, the soft yet bewitching voice, this peerlessly beautiful face said to be molded by the Goddess herself. Even the silky, flowing black hair like fine satin.
"...Olga! You remember me too!"
She looked exactly like the pure, noble Olga Virtus in my memories. Overwhelmed, I hugged her tightly.