The Horror of My First Period
"Ugh..." I couldn't believe the situation unfolding right before my eyes. It hadn't been that long since I became a woman, yet here I was getting my period already. My mood was at rock bottom. Tears welled up in my eyes, and a wave of pent-up frustration surged through me—so intense that the slightest nudge might make me explode.
So this is what having a period feels like. It's fucking awful. But I don't have any pads. What the hell am I supposed to do?
When in doubt, an internet search is king. I typed in "what to do if you don't have pads" and the results told me to roll up toilet paper, stuff it in, then run to the convenience store ASAP.
Stuff rolled-up toilet paper inside my panties?
"Sigh..." There was no other choice. I headed into the bathroom and washed the area around my vagina with warm water.
"Wow....." As I stood there cleaning myself, I let out a hollow laugh at how ridiculous this all was. My sex drive must have died completely—despite the fact that I was touching my pussy, I felt absolutely nothing. After patting everything dry with a towel until there wasn't a drop of moisture left, I rolled up some toilet paper and stuffed it into my panties. A massive wave of self-loathing crashed over me.
I should just kill myself, fuck...
I cinched the loose waistband of the baggy sweatpants I'd worn back when I was a guy as tight as it would go, then threw on an oversized black jersey. Somewhere along the line I'd developed a habit of checking myself in the bathroom mirror every time I got dressed.
This is the worst.
It was such a miserable sight that words failed me. Wouldn't throwing on an actual rag have looked better than this?
I'll call off today's stream and go buy some activewear that actually fits this body. I can't keep wearing these baggy clothes forever.
Buying pads came first, so I headed straight to the convenience store right outside my building.
Pads... pads...
Of course the clerk on duty was a woman, which made the whole thing twice as embarrassing.
Why should I feel embarrassed? I'm a woman now.
Even so, the shame was unavoidable. Face burning, I bought the pads and hurried back to my room. I tore open the packaging.
"Mmm..." The pad felt incredibly soft and squishy. If I had to compare it to anything, it was like a diaper.
A twenty-four-year-old in diapers...
Just thinking about attaching this thing to my body filled me with disgust.
Still, no way around it.
"Ha..." After a deep sigh I searched for instructions on how to use one. Turns out you stick it to your panties, not directly to your body.
Oh, that's how it works?
It also looked difficult to attach to boxer-style panties, so I'd need women's triangular ones instead.
Well, no women walk around in boxers anyway...
When I peeled off my pants and boxers together, the toilet-paper wad I'd stuffed in earlier slipped out. A little blood had soaked into it, turning parts pink.
"..."
I was too drained to even think about how shitty this was anymore. On autopilot I grabbed a pair of women's panties, stuck the pad inside, and pulled them on.
Fuck.
It felt exactly like cramming a giant clump of soft tissue in there. With a suffocating weight in my chest I collapsed onto the bed.
I opened Tteongether to post a hiatus notice. The community was already buzzing without me.
There's a ton of them.
It looked like a so-called "Tteongi Minor Gallery" had popped up in one of my favorite communities. Everyone was calling it TteongMagal or just TteongGal for short.
If I could go back to my first stream, I would never have named myself Tteongi.
I posted a second notice on Tteongether.
Time to rest a bit and then go buy some clothes.
Comments flooded in instantly.
Ugh...
I desperately wanted to rest, but... 100,000 won... 100,000 won...
Screw it, I'll buy the clothes and then turn the stream on!
I threw on the same clothes I'd left on the floor and headed to the clothing store.
Inside the clothing store I asked the employee for activewear that would fit my current measurements. The form-fitting tracksuit pants and jersey felt so comfortable I could have cried.
Who knew putting on a tracksuit could bring this much happiness?
I stood in front of the full-length mirror, turning this way and that, observing myself. Even under the jersey my huge breasts were obvious, and the tight pants emphasized my hips, thighs, and ass even more.
This body looks sexy no matter what I wear—even a tracksuit.
"Thank you. Please put it all on my card."
Having money to spare made my tone overflow with confidence.
So that's why they say confidence comes from your bank balance.
After that I stopped by the underwear shop I'd visited before. Since I'd be using pads, I'd need plenty of women's underwear.
"Hello."
"Oh! You're back again?"
"You remember me...?"
"Of course~ We don't get many H-cup customers. Are you a model by any chance?"
"Not really..."
I smiled shyly at the compliment.
"Anyway, I'll take everything I couldn't buy last time."
"Understood!"
The clerk brought out a rainbow of bras—white, black, blue, brown, and more.
"I'll take them all."
"They're quite expensive. Are you sure?"
"Absolutely! Card please."
I handed over the card like some chaebol heiress. On the way home the phrase "keep your stomach warm during your period" popped into my head, so I bought a blanket and a cushion too.
Back home I sat down in front of the computer.
I was worried, but the cramps seem bearable...
Like a lie, the moment I turned the computer on the period pain slammed into me full force. It felt like someone was stabbing my belly with an awl. A groan slipped out before I could stop it.
"Ugh!!"
I'd put down the cushion and wrapped myself in the blanket, but it still hurt this much?
Just stop already, damn it!
This was bad. If I streamed, the chat would tear me apart about my period. Could I even fight back properly? I never should have mentioned it! I'd dug my own grave!
It'll probably be fine...
After some useless self-hypnosis I turned on the stream.
After the dildo incident my regular viewer count had settled around 1,900 to 2,000. The numbers could drop if it meant people would forget about the dildo thing.
"Sigh..." The saying that the past can't be erased hit me bone-deep.
"I was planning to take a break, but Danbalqueen said she'd give me 100,000 won if I streamed, so here I am. You got a problem with that?!"
The pain made me so sensitive it was hard to speak. This was no situation for smiling and streaming.
I really shouldn't have turned it on.
"Cutting to the chase, I'm pretty sensitive today so please understand..."
"It's not my birthday, it's my period!"
These fucking bastards...
It had begun. If I'd been a normal female streamer they probably would've comforted me and told me to hang in there.
I fell into my own trap.
Still, I decided to try milking some sympathy.
"Guys, I'm hurting so much today... can you pat me and tell me it'll be okay?"
"It means I want head pats and comforting words."
"You guys are really too much."
"Ugh..."
"No... sigh... it's all my own karma."
"Ha..."
"I've never committed a crime!"
"Ah... thank you for the 100,000 won. Sob..."
It was a bit trashy, but since I'd taken the money maybe I should just end the stream here?
"Well then, thank you everyone. Have a great rest of your day! See you tomorrow."
The dildo talk came up without fail. I'd accidentally poked the hornet's nest.
"Fine! Fine, just stop talking about the dildo!!"
"I want to suck dick..."
Maybe because my body hurt, the self-loathing hit even harder.
"Ha... I'm getting hit with reality extra hard today."
"Yeah, it's all my fault."
"Yes or sex."
"Sex."
"Honestly it's nice. I make money just sitting here. But since I'm on my period today, please be a little considerate..."
"Waaah, protect me, I'm baby Tteongi."
"Haha! That actually made me laugh for the first time today."
"With that kind of energy you should study or get a job."
"Sure, I'll believe you're an S University student. But sorry, you sound exactly like a basement dweller."
I turned donations off and, for the first time ever, banned a viewer.
"You should've just gone with sex jokes. The mood is completely dead now."
"GungjaTteong... I thought it was Chinese! Change it quickly."
"For lunch today I'm going to do a simple porridge mukbang. Let me order delivery real quick."
"Absolutely not! I'm never eating spicy food again."
A text from Mom had arrived after a long time.
"Oh, Mom sent a message?"
"Mom and Dad are both healthy..."
"...."
I ignored the donations and checked the text.
"Son, are you doing well? Call me when you have time. Dad and I will come visit soon."
How was I supposed to handle this situation again?
I'll just reply with a vague "got it" on KakaoTalk and eat my porridge.
"What do you mean 'this kind of broadcast'... that's too harsh. If my parents ever catch me..."
Wow, what would actually happen? It would be unimaginably horrific.
"I don't even want to imagine it."
"I can't sell my life for 10,000 won."
"100 million... I'll think about it..."
The porridge arrived. I weakly tore open the disposable spoon and took a bite.
"It doesn't taste good..."
"It's not an ad."
"Ah, that's a bit unfunny..."
"You should probably change your nickname. It looks like you'll get banned."
I took another bite of porridge. As soon as food entered my stomach the cramps came back worse.
"Eating makes it hurt more... ha... somebody save me."
"No wonder my chest has been hurting since earlier. So it was because of my period."
"You can't touch them for a thousand won."
"Don't auction off someone else's breasts!"
"....."
My appetite vanished instantly.
As I ate the porridge and endured the stomach pain I gradually grew quieter.
I should say something but I have zero energy...
Sorry, guys. Today's stream is just me eating for free.
For some reason those words made me want to open my mouth.
"Still, I have to talk. You're giving me money~ My voice is really pretty too... right?"
"Yare yare, I can't help it with my fans~ But maybe I don't actually hate those tsundere fans...?"
"Sorry... I'll really eat my porridge quietly now."
I had no strength left to talk, so I ate the rest of the porridge in silence. Once it was gone, sleep hit me like a truck.
"Haaaam~"
"Don't put it in, I'm on my period..."
"I'm really ending the stream now. I originally planned to take a break but..."
Contrary to my expectations, warm messages filled the chat.
"Whoa! Guys, I'm touched. Are you actually looking after me?"
"Wow... sex trash can... that's a good one."
"I'm ending the stream... Whether I rest tomorrow or not, I'll post a notice..."
"Let's stream hard again tomorrow! Fighting!"
When the stream ended it felt like all the strength left my body at once and my throat hurt like it was torn.
Other streamers seem to drink water constantly, but the most I do is go drink tap water during the stream.
I really needed to buy water. No, water's heavy, so even though it's rude to the delivery guy I'll just order it online. While I'm at it, let's buy a new outfit too.
Hmm...
Should I try a police uniform? A white shirt with a tennis skirt would be insane, right?
Good. Let's buy it quickly.
A few days later...
My period pain had finally disappeared. My stomach no longer throbbed or stabbed, and there was no more blood coming from my pussy.
Fuck!!! My period is over, fuck!
Just not having a period made me incredibly happy.
From now on I'll live a good life.
Wait a second. Do I have to go through this bullshit again next month?
"Mom, fuck..."
As if she'd heard me say "mom," my actual mom called like a ghost.
'......'
I felt bad for Mom, but I couldn't pick up. The moment I did, a storm would hit.
As soon as the call ended, a text arrived. Of course it was from Mom.
Please, no, don't come!