The Unimaginable Editor (2)
No matter how much I'd expected it, when it actually happened in reality the first thing out of my mouth was a string of curses.
"The username is asadr123... says the member withdrew."
"Is that you?"
"What rating? It's a dick that looks like a dick, what else is there to say?"
"Don't send it, you crazy bastard."
"Thank you for the ten dollars, SesameRice! Of course you have a massive one~"
"Wait a second! This isn't the time to talk about that, we need to find the editor!"
That's when it hit me. Did I really need to keep playing along with these idiots?
"Editor, finding your note is too hard. Just donate ten dollars."
"No, think about it. Nobody's going to drop ten dollars just to troll, right? If you're the real editor I'll send it back later."
"Ah~ So KingPretty was the editor all along."
I searched for the note under the username 'TteongiSoPretty.' It was a selfie of some weird guy.
"No way! That's just a picture of some random dude..."
I held back the worse words that almost slipped out, not wanting to get sued.
"Uh....."
Good thing I didn't say anything worse. That would've been a disaster.
"No no, you look incredibly handsome! Absolutely stunning!"
"Show it on screen too."
After that the donation window went eerily quiet. Why isn't the editor showing up?
"..."
"I was wrong. I'll just read every single note."
"If you send one I'll actually end you?"
Before I knew it I'd started reading through nearly two hundred notes one by one. Not a single one had any real substance.
"Sister marry me. I'll give you money. Let's sleep together just once. I'll send chicken. What's your address. I jerked off to you... Are you people out of your minds?! Hey!"
In a fit of anger I left a comment on the H-Tteongi channel: 'Hey, were you scared to send the note?'
"Sigh~ Forget it. Whatever happens, happens."
Since the stream was already running long, I might as well do a mukbang.
"I'll do a mukbang."
"My absolute favorite~"
"Fuck! Don't set that up so perfectly!"
"Anyway, I'm going to try the new jumbo burger that just came out."
With a girl's body one hamburger should be more than enough. But would a single burger meet the delivery minimum?
"Long cheese stick? You fucker, are you trying to order something weird again?"
"N-no... you know, holding the cheese stick and calling it a dick. Saying it increases your semen volume."
"It was obvious to anyone watching! Why are you all pretending you didn't notice!"
"When you guys eat cheese sticks later, just watch."
A little while later the hamburger arrived. I tore open the burger wrapper and spread it out wide, then placed the burger, fries, and cheese stick on top. The delicious smell made me smile without thinking.
"Starting the mukbang now~"
"Good grief~ I guess it can't be helped."
I took a bite of the hot cheese stick and stretched the cheese out long.
"So~ Even after seeing this you won't say anything dirty, right?"
As expected, these are exactly my viewers.
"Hahaha! I knew it. You're all trying to make me the only crazy one here."
"Let's not get caught up in the details! Now I'll eat the hamburger."
The jumbo burger. I'd seen the ad saying it was fifteen centimeters wide and ten centimeters tall. An insanely big burger.
"Whoa, it's actually huge."
It was way bigger than I'd imagined. Even when I was a guy I probably couldn't have finished one of these.
"What are you even saying?!"
"Stop making me the only weird one here from the start!"
"I'm sorry. I underestimated our viewers. Please just treat me like the weird one."
"Hmm..."
This hamburger looked impossible to bite into even if I opened my mouth as wide as possible. I tried opening wide anyway.
"Ah~"
It was nowhere near enough.
"Even opening this wide it won't fit."
"I knew you'd say that. How do you never miss with these predictions?"
"Hold on. I just got a good idea."
I brought a knife and cut the hamburger in half.
I cut it into even smaller pieces so it would be easier to eat. Then I picked up the pieces with chopsticks.
"See? Doesn't this make me look like a refined young lady from a rich family gracefully eating a hamburger?"
"..."
Wait, wasn't I forgetting something? That's right! The editor!
"Editor! I'll give you public holidays, weekends off, guaranteed paid time off every month, and full benefits! I'm earning a lot these days so I can pay you a good salary. So please send the note already!"
"Fuck off."
"Don't take it so literally!"
"What? Don't lie."
I immediately went to the H-Tteongi channel. There really was a reply.
Goosebumps ran across my entire body. So this whole time they'd been playing innocent and acting like it wasn't them?
I hurriedly checked the note TteongiBunnyZonber had sent. There wasn't a single one.
"You didn't send any note though."
"Haa... If you'd told me earlier I wouldn't have had to look at dick pics."
"...I see. Anyway, you'll be my editor, right?"
"I mean officially! You'll do it, right? Please?"
"You said you know The Queen, right? I'm going to meet her later, where do you live?"
"Yeah."
I checked TteongiBunnyZonber's note. It was about a twenty-minute bus ride from my house.
"Where should we meet?"
"Cafe?"
I searched for cafes in the area.
'It's 2 p.m. now so...'
I replied to the note suggesting we meet at xx Cafe by 3.
"Check the note! You have to come, got it?"
"I'm in my twenties."
"I'll leave the review on Tteongether so this is it for today's stream. See you tomorrow~"
After sending The Queen a KakaoTalk I called her.
"Did you check the address? We're meeting there."
"Yeah, I saw it. I'll finish what I'm doing and head over quickly."
"If I arrive first and get attacked..."
"She's not that kind of person so stop worrying."
"I really only trust you, The Queen."
I took off the maid outfit and changed into jeans, a white t-shirt, and a sky-blue hoodie.
Around 2:45 p.m., inside the xx Cafe where we agreed to meet.
I sat at a table by the sunny window, sipping a chocolate latte and trying hard to stay calm.
No matter how well she knows The Queen, anyone who talks about fucking me is still scary.
Ten minutes later The Queen arrived.
"Hello~"
"Hello."
I stood up to greet her. The Queen stroked my hair and said,
"You're as pretty as always today."
"..."
With my face turning red I sat back down and we talked.
"Do you think that person will actually come?"
"Yeah, I told them they absolutely had to."
"I'm still worried..."
Before we knew it the time had become 3:10 p.m. As the appointment time slipped further away all sorts of thoughts flooded my mind.
Did that son of a bitch lie?
"Why isn't she coming?"
"Yeah, she's not the type to break a time promise."
Right then, a petite and cute girl with black hair that reached down to her waist came looking for us.
"I'm so sorry!! I took the wrong turn and got a little lost!"
"...?"
"It's been a while, Aram."
"Wow~ Seeing Tteongi's mamma-tong in real life is even more incredible!"
She said it while dropping something completely unordinary.
She was a girl?!