Gratitude in Defeat
Clang! The instant sword met spear, Anna's eyes widened. Again. The same sensation she'd felt time and again during their exchanges. The first couple of times, she'd dismissed it as coincidence. But as it repeated over and over, Anna had no choice but to accept the truth.
He's reading everything.
Isaac was anticipating the trajectory of her spear, matching the speed of her swings almost perfectly. The spear techniques she'd honed over years following her lady— all unraveled in just a handful of clashes. At first, it sparked irritation and defiance, but at some point, it turned to awe.
"Hah!"
But in stark contrast...
"...!"
Isaac had already predicted the path and moved to parry, but the faint ripple at the tip of Anna's spear pushed him back, sending him tumbling. Seizing the moment, she spun once, whirling her spear in a clean rotation to press the blade neatly against his throat.
"I win."
Isaac raised his hands in surrender, and Anna slowly withdrew her weapon.
"...Can you really call this a win for me?"
Even though she'd come out on top, she asked timidly. In truth, Anna felt like she'd lost.
"You read my every spear thrust. At some point, your sword was faster than my own judgment."
"..."
"It was simply a lack of basic strength and stamina. Nothing more."
"..."
"Train for a month, and you'd beat someone like me without breaking a sweat."
Being overtaken by a latecomer was immense pressure. Anna frankly doubted herself. Even if she'd gone from an ordinary maid to a soldier through spear training, she'd taken pride in her skills.
"You're not asking the guy you just beat for comfort, are you?"
Isaac chuckled awkwardly. He was already flipping open his notebook— not a textbook, but his Sparring Log, where he reviewed his matches, noting deficiencies and takeaways.
Watching him, Anna asked sheepishly, "You really are amazing, Sir Isaac."
"What is?"
Isaac jotted down the reason for his loss: inadequate response to the final clash. He even sketched her stance in that last strike and his own counter in simple diagrams.
"Even in defeat, you seem so confident. Like you know you'll win in the end."
"No such thing."
Anna flinched slightly at his rare, firm denial.
"The reason I don't fear defeat is because I'm grateful even for the chance to lose."
His eyes still on the log, he continued. "I know how agonizing it is to not even get that opportunity. So defeat doesn't matter."
"..."
"I don't have time to dwell on it. I want to keep swinging my sword."
Anna felt her heart skip as she watched Isaac's faint smile.
"Is this how you seduced Lady Lianna?"
"Out of nowhere?"
Isaac looked embarrassed under her expectant gaze, scratching his cheek. "I wasn't this smooth when I wooed her. I was more aggressive."
"Whoa."
With the topic turning to romance, Anna glanced toward Silberna, still watching from the corner.
"What do you think of the lady?"
"Silberna? She's a good friend. She's helped me refine the direction of my swordsmanship a lot."
"That's it? Really?"
"Why."
"Sigh, Sir Isaac. As someone who's been with the lady since she was young, let me be frank."
Anna crouched down in front of the seated Isaac. In the wide corner of the training grounds, the two whispered face-to-face.
"To her, people are just two categories: enemies or comrades."
"Harsh classification."
"Anyway, just two."
Anna held up her index and middle fingers. "But lately, she's been off."
Her ring finger crept up slyly. "Something third is emerging. And that's you, Sir Isaac."
"..."
"You're a married man, so you get it without me spelling it out, right? No need for me to embarrass my lady further?"
Anna glared sharply. Isaac nodded awkwardly.
"I get the gist."
"The gist?"
"Got it. I understand. Helmont and Kaldias. Keep a proper distance, right?"
Anna burst into a grin at his roundabout phrasing.
"As expected of you, Sir Isaac. They say handsome men read women well— spot on."
"..."
"Be honest. This happens a lot, doesn't it? Weren't you famous as a handsome ferryman back in your boat days?"
"You don't need to know."
Isaac had run a tiny ferry, and his striking looks did draw plenty of female passengers— that much was true.
"Anyway, you're married, so I trust you'll hold the line?"
"Got it."
Just then, the sky darkened. The two, still crouched, peeked up to find Silberna standing over them, arms crossed.
Did she hear? The thought flashed through both their minds, but...
"Anna, you're on duty."
Evidently, she hadn't caught the conversation, as Silberna stated it flatly.
"Pardon? Duty? I've got two hours left."
"Vival called in sick today. Looked pretty rough. So you're covering as the next up."
"..."
Anna sealed her lips, staring up at Silberna. That big lug who'd scarfed two bowls at lunch was sick?
She was chatting with Vival on his way to shift. Anna had wondered what that was about.
With a sigh, she stood. "Can't be helped. I'll head out."
She bowed and left. From behind, Silberna's voice came faintly subdued.
"What now? My helper ditched."
"Mm, yeah."
"If you really need it, I could, uh, help? Got time. Lots of it."
"...Sure."
Isaac pondered briefly and accepted her aid.
"Awesome! Let's go right now!"
Silberna snatched her spear, her tone instantly bubbly. Trudging away, Anna slapped her forehead and slumped her shoulders.
Silly lady.
Acting like he's just a friend.
Living in the North, wielding spears and fighting beasts, Anna fully grasped how deficient her lady was in romance. She hadn't realized her own feelings yet, but it was probably just a matter of time.
At least Sir Isaac will handle it well.
Being married, he'd keep boundaries. If Silberna crossed them, he'd push back. It'd be a beautiful but cold memory, like ice crystals.
What can you do? He's already taken.
If only he weren't married. Regretfully, she'd have supported her lady wholeheartedly. Instead, she headed to the wall for her forced shift.
"The reason I don't fear defeat is because I'm grateful even for the chance to lose."
"I don't have time to dwell on it. I want to keep swinging my sword."
As she walked, Isaac's recent words resurfaced. No time to be bound by defeat. Textbook-perfect advice, but seeing someone live it made it hit different. Her motivation surging in various ways, Anna gripped her spear tighter and quickened her pace.
The Helmont estate was unusually lively. For one reason only.
"Nngh!"
In Lianna's room, Alois wept with brimming tears, his chest feeling torn apart. Ten whole days. Ten days without seeing Lianna. It coincided exactly with the day Sharen left for Mallidan Wall.
Naturally, Lianna would face severe punishment for defying the family head. Arandel showed no mercy, not even to his daughter.
Terrified of that, Alois had suppressed his urge to follow and stayed behind, pining for her.
"Sis!"
Buried face-down on Lianna's bed, pillow soaked with tears— that was Alois.
The well-maintained carriage road. The long Helmont caravan halted before Mallidan Wall. Later than other nobles, for a simple reason.
"Gotta keep some pride."
Arriving early would feel like waiting on them. Plus, rushing at Kaldias's summons looked weak.
"Sigh, all this hassle because of that Isaac punk."
Sharen grumbled, popping snacks into her mouth. She didn't seem truly upset. Isaac was just an excuse; the tomboy was thrilled like it was an adventure.
The carriages stopped for inspection. Sharen's maid, Kelsey, slipped out discreetly, bowing lightly to the waiting Helmont knights as the baggage wagons arrived.
Stepping inside, Kelsey called softly, "Lady Lianna?"
A white cloth rustled, and Lianna peeked out from hiding.
"We've arrived. Mallidan Wall. With all the carriages, inspections will take about two hours."
"...Right."
Lianna nodded, pulling pre-prepared clothes from under the cloth: a maid's uniform. Only Sharen was expected; if word got out Lianna was here, Kaldias might object. She planned to hide her identity.
Kelsey couldn't hide her worry. "I don't know why you've come this far, but there must be a good reason."
"..."
"I'll help however I can, with all I've got."
She handed over a hairnet and mask. While Kelsey waited outside, Lianna emerged in the maid outfit. Hair fully pinned up and netted, forehead exposed— a bit embarrassing. A headband covered as much red hair as possible, mask hiding her face.
"This should do."
Kelsey grinned, thumbs up. Lianna nodded satisfied, slowly gazing up at Mallidan Wall.
A striking woman boldly overlooked the Helmont carriages and knights from atop.
Silberna Kaldias.
Lianna remembered her. Spear master with skill beyond her years, enough to lead Kaldias's future. They'd sparred once.
She's grown stronger.
She could tell just by looking. Silberna was stronger than during their bout.
It was a good match. Not just about winning or losing, but learning from each other—
Then, a black-haired man appeared behind Silberna. Lianna's eyes widened.
Relief at seeing Isaac safe on the front lines, but...
Silberna and Isaac smiled, chatting. The moment she saw him casually sharing snacks he'd brought.
"..."
Her fist clenched unconsciously. Lianna bowed her head, murmuring puzzled.
"I definitely won that spar."
Why did it feel like she'd lost?