26. A Check? "Please Take Care of Me Going Forward." What on Earth Could That Mean?
Han Seol was out of it for a while after the storm that was Seo Seohyeon blew past. She just stared blankly at the doorway where she'd exited.
"Seol-ah?"
"Ah, yeah."
Only after Suhyeon Yoo called her name did she snap back to reality. He scratched his cheek apologetically and opened his mouth.
"Sorry, you got startled, huh?"
"Ah, no..."
To be honest, she had been startled. Big time. Not just because of the crude "that bitch" remark—though that took up a good chunk of it—but more because her senior had known such a pretty girl from way back.
That shimmering blonde hair, those blue eyes. And skin so fair it was almost translucent. Han Seol had never seen anyone that beautiful before, so she'd been left dumbfounded for a moment.
"...Is she a close younger sister type?"
"Well... yeah. She's not usually like that, but I don't know what got into her today."
What is this? Her chest felt tight, like something was clogged up inside. Han Seol wasn't stupid. She might lack experience in romance, but she could tell when someone was acting smitten. That Seo Seohyeon girl from earlier? Clearly crushing on her senior. And Han Seol didn't like it one bit.
"Anyway, sorry about that. I'll talk to her later."
"No, it's fine. You've already apologized."
Han Seol waved it off and took a deep breath. An inexplicable unease made her body tense up. Negative emotions kept swirling around her. Then it hit her.
Senior... likes me.
Yeah. No need to worry. Seo Seohyeon's crush was just that—a one-sided thing. If it didn't connect both ways, it wouldn't turn into love. The dark feelings bubbling up from her feet melted away. Why was I even fretting over this? Even if she'd once occupied a corner of his heart in the past, right now, he liked her. The way he looked out for her, trusted her, stayed by her side. She was the only one in his heart. Han Seol's mood lifted again. The complicated issue had resolved itself in the most anticlimactic way. She puffed up her shoulders and shot her smitten senior a smug look.
"She's still young, that's all. Younger than me, even."
"...You think?"
It bugged her a little that someone was crushing on her senior, but the university was full of girls like that. He was already famous for his looks. Han Seol started rationalizing everything. Whenever tough stuff came up, she'd habitually twist it into the best possible light. She was innately timid, so turning away from scary things felt almost instinctual.
"The vibe got weird anyway... Should we head out? We've got the plan mostly sorted."
"Huh?"
"Yeah? It's pretty much done."
Her mood had just improved, but his words sent it crashing down. Objectively speaking, once today ended, they'd have no excuse to meet again. She stared holes into Suhyeon. This time, she waited for him to say something. Prayed for it. But he just stood up. From her position, she couldn't fabricate anything more. Her guilt had already maxed out. In the end, she stood up too, looking dejected.
"...Yeah. Let's go."
After that, she desperately grabbed his hand as he reached for his card and whipped out hers instead.
"I said I'm paying, Seol-ah."
"I-it's, fine...!"
"You got the last one."
"Ch-cheapskate... I said it's fine...!"
Grunting as she barely restrained his arm with both hands, she shoved her card at the cashier.
"Please ring it up quick."
"Sure. Points?"
"No."
Suhyeon sighed and pocketed his card, defeated by her stubbornness.
"Even when I treat you, huh. This is freeloading off your senior."
"It's fine."
"Makes me feel bad. You're always mooching."
I'm the one who feels sorrier...! Han Seol couldn't meet his clear eyes anymore and whipped her head away. No matter how you sliced it, the amount he'd donated to her stream was enough for her to buy him cafe stuff for life. Come to think of it, how could a senior drop that much cash on donations? That rich-girl vibe from the other one, the daily supers... None of it added up for a regular college kid. But she had no way to dig into it now. Once they got closer, it'd come out naturally. She handed him the coupon from the cashier.
"Senior, you need to get in the habit of saving a bit."
"...Huh?"
"You can't just hand money to strangers...!"
"I've never done that...?"
"A-anyway, this is step one in saving. You never collect coupons."
"...True. How'd you know?"
"Saw you at the cafe last time by chance. You didn't take any."
As Suhyeon marveled at her observation skills, Han Seol hoped he'd actually take her advice. Having a senior from the same school—who she respected—donate to her stream and drop weird chats now and then was a super awkward situation. It wouldn't change overnight, but she vowed to break him of that bad habit someday. Especially since she was the only one he donated to now. If he just stopped, she'd feel so much better. For now, she'd pay back what she owed bit by bit.
As they left the cafe, they walked side by side now, not one behind the other.
"Thanks for today."
"Sure. Ask if you don't know something."
Senior, what do you even want? You like me but won't make a move. What am I supposed to do? She wanted to ask. Gripping her hem tight, she parted her lips. But it was a question she'd never voice. She was the one keeping things ambiguous. This selfish streak—giving openings but not letting it break—had to be tough on him. She knew it. All too well. Coward. Han Seol had always been a coward. Even after hatching from her shell, she was still a scared kid. So much was new with him. Eating together, chatting casually. Her heart swelled with joy. One step, one step. Just a child's footprints, but she could keep going steadily. But they were tiny steps. Too small to catch up to his back, far ahead. She knew that herself. That's why she couldn't define their relationship—or ask questions.
That stifling feeling from seeing the girl who seemed close to him. The gazes always drifting his way, the comfort of being near. Even she couldn't answer what any of it meant exactly.
So you. If senior made a move on me. Then she'd just be her usual selfish self. That was easier. No need for complicated thoughts. Anxiety crept in. So many people liked her senior. And people's hearts weren't constant.
"Hey."
His voice rang in her ears at last. That familiar tone. The low timbre always tickled pleasantly, putting her at ease. The sunlight was extra bright today; looking up at him made her squint against the warm rays.
"It still bugs me. You're timid, right? Weren't you scared?"
"...Huh?"
Timid? No one knew that. She never showed it. People usually saw her as emotionless. Han Seol tilted her head at the unfamiliar assessment.
"Me, timid?"
"Yeah. Super timid."
"...No, I'm not."
She kicked a loose pebble to reply. Her image was kicking around guys way bigger than her.
"C'mon, remember the group project? You were terrified of Minji."
She flinched. Her steps slowed.
"Maybe not to others, but I saw it clear. You were shaking."
Her hidden flaw exposed, Han Seol raised her voice unusually loud.
"Th-that was my fault...!"
"Anyway."
Suhyeon just shrugged.
"You hid it well earlier, but you were pretty shocked, yeah?"
Well... lying and saying she wasn't scared would be dishonest...
"...Yeah, I was shocked. Who wouldn't be...?"
He burst out laughing. His crinkled eyes were pretty charming.
"True."
"...So why'd you suddenly bring her up?"
"Nah, just wanted to do something as an apology."
"..."
Her vision flashed. From tilting her head back. The sun still blazed bright.
"As you know, senior, I don't have... friends."
"...Uh, yeah."
"So, tell me. How do you hang out with friends?"
The emotions were a sticky mess. Too many colors blended, impossible to pin down. She wanted to know. His favorite spots. Where he'd gone with that girl. Han Seol wanted to overlay herself onto those traces of old connections. So she looked up at him with a faint smile again.
"That's okay, right?"
"Sure, whatever."
"Whatcha doing, lying here?"
"...Out. I'm tired."
Seo Seohyeon would hole up in the study when she was in a bad mood, a book draped over her face.
"Didn't you say Suhyeon was heading to your neighborhood today? Why the low pressure? That guy didn't... have a girlfriend or something...?"
"Out."
Her voice chilled. Now holding the book, she glared at her brother.
"Whoa, check that killer glare. For real?"
"...It's not like that."
"You didn't cause a scene or anything...? I didn't raise you to be that trashy."
"..."
"Hey, you crazy bitch."
Shin Jonghyeon clutched his neck.
"Right?"
"No, no. ...She was cute, but not his girlfriend. I apologized already, and I'll make it up to her..."
"You lunatic. Living frugally all this time, and now blowing cash on this? Headache, seriously...?"
Releasing his neck as something dawned on him, Jonghyeon slowly lowered his hand.
"Wait, no way... That junior or whatever...?"
"...What?"
She peeled off the reclined chairback and strode toward him.
"You know her?"
"...Damn. It escalated like this. She was paying extra attention. I figured it was 'cause she looked just like your old self, helping out for that."
"Tell me more."
"Dunno much. Just that she's a junior he looks out for lately. Nothing else, far as I know..."
Seo Seohyeon reclined the chairback again, half-lying down. Lights out. Book over her face once more, she sighed wearily.
"Got it. Now get out. Let me nap..."
"...You crying?"
"..."
Why would I cry? You just explained it. Probably just looking out for her. Suhyeon oppa had changed since that day. Tap-tap, drumming the armrest with her index finger, she slumped more. Soon fully reclined. She was cute... that girl. If she hadn't been by oppa's side, it'd be right up Seo Seohyeon's alley.
"Please take care of me going forward."
Pure intent. They might cross paths again, and she could help bridge things with her senior later. Lit-girl vibe. Smart, bookish image. Of course, Seo Seohyeon was smart. A genius, like her brother. But...
"...If I get close to that unnie, will I see oppa more...?"
Romance? Total dud for her. Jonghyeon could only smack his forehead watching her mutter to herself.